6

"I think you're mistaken," you say. "These are definitely made using chupacabra extract." You hold up a cupcake. "Why don't you take another bite?"

Tira frowns, but takes it from your hand. As she does, you whisper under your breath, "cabra ca dabra."

A moment later, Tira shakes her head. "I'm not sure what to say," she tells the other judges. "Aurel Dawnfowl is correct—this certainly does have chupacabra extract in it."

In fact, the cupcake has no such thing. But it has just been magically infused with an intense chupacabra flavor.

Bouma and Gorgon take another bite, then look at each other and shrug. Gorgon gives Tira a thumbs up.

"My apologies, Aurel Dawnfowl," she says. "You're officially not disqualified."

Well, you pulled it off. You didn't get disqualified—even if, really, you should have.

On to Nessia

Yes," Argyle says with a sage nod. "Keeps out foreign entities while sealing in freshness."

"Bruh," Clyde from Phil'ly says, "we just use some damn aluminum foil where I'm from."

"But what of the foil lords?" Argyle asks with keen interest.

"Why are you still talking to us?" Gorgon says. "Unsummon it!"

"Yes, yes," Argyle says. He looks at the glass monster. Then his gaze focuses on something unseen to anyone else. "Doom?" he mutters. "No, not that. Hmmm. Doom doom?"

Great. The judges seem inclined to wait until Argyle figures out his own spell. You'll be here all day if this keeps up. Looks like it's you to the rescue.

You reach into the astral plane and stop at an ethereal door that says "Horror Shop, Little." That's probably fine—you just need a little bit of scare. You pull something from it.

It turns out to be an undead man with slicked-back dark hair. He's wearing a white coat that says "dentist."

"A goddamn plant ate me!" he shouts. Before he can delve further into an undead spiel no one cares about, he leans forward, eyes wholly focused on the glass cake guard.

"Are those…teeth?" he asks raptly.

Your undead guy rushes to the cake guard, leaving nothing for anyone to see other than his back and rapidly moving arms and elbows. But you can hear, all right, hear the ungodly screams, the grinding, the whirring, and the moaning of a cake guard you're suddenly feeling sorry for.

Once it's all over, the undead man steps back to admire his handiwork. The cake guard is sitting there with a frowning open maw, one lonely glass tooth in it, and even that's been filed down to a nub. Above the maw, the glass is wet…Has the cake guard been crying?

A moment after this the cake guard disappears entirely, and your undead dentist follows suit. All that's left on the countertop now is delicious-looking chupacake-cabras.

You're so satisfied by your success that you don't even mind helping out one of your contestants. Besides, you are extremely confident in your bake anyway. All the judges reach for a chupacake-cabra, taste, savor, huddle, and once again Tira Misu emerges from the pack.

"You will all be pleased to know…"

…Really?

Her finger snap reveals an audience near riot with their applause and deafening cheers. They're beyond ready to know. Truth be told, you are, too.

"Excellent!" Tira says, her voice projecting clearly. "Without further ado, then.

"Taking first place, with an astonishing display, we have…Nessia Grade!

"Not to be left far behind, the Baladin takes second with an equally wonderful take on the chupacake-cabra!

"And finally, our last placing contestant this round is Fondant d'Amande. Nice work!

"That's the end of the round," she finishes, "but don't go away yet. Soon, we'll have an important announcement to make."

As the cleaning crew descends on the various kitchens and the competitors mill around in varying degrees of exhaustion and happiness, Tira approaches you.

"Well, Aurel Dawnfowl," she says. "That could certainly have gone better, couldn't it? But never mind. I have some good news."

Tira beams. "The council has chosen you as the contestant to announce the Bake-Off's kickoff celebration party! Just step in front of the arena and tell the crowd the party's going to be at Drainor's Tavern at eight o'clock tonight. Of course, you're invited as well."

You cast an appraising eye at her.

Tira laughs, the sound of it like water pouring across a crystal decanter. "Oh, Aurel Dawnfowl," she says, resting a hand on your shoulder and walking back toward the judges' table. Her hand is a vise grip, so you have no choice but to follow. "You are amusing," she continues, as if this is totally ordinary behavior—and perhaps, for her, it is. "Now, you just wait right here."

She isn't using command voice the way the queen undying did back in your bakery, but before you can think to get out of there, she turns to the crowd and raises both hands. There's a sudden hush, and she speaks into it like a marshal commanding her army. "Beloved people of Godstone! We thank you, as always, for your attendance at our lovely event, and especially for the patronage you continue to show us, year after year. As a way of saying 'thank you,' here is contestant Aurel Dawnfowl . with a special announcement!"

Well, guess you're up. First you need to get the crowd's attention.

Using your link with the queen undying, you thrust both hands straight up, pulling a horde of undead out of the ground. You giggle maniacally, making your skeletons dance a merry jig. It's only then that you realize you accidentally summoned a dozen rat and—somehow—cockroach skeletons instead of human ones, and the lot of them have fused into one horrifying creature that's part skeleton, part exoskeleton, all monstrosity.

You definitely have the crowd's undivided attention, but judging from the screaming and crying, maybe not in the best possible way. Whistling innocently, you let the skeletonstrosity crumble to dust.

Oh well, at least that's over and done.

Now, what to do with your captive audience's attention before you announce the big event?