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HP X LOTM : Please Call Me Mr. Error.

"When did I sign away my wealth to you!?" Lockhart asked, shocked. "That's the neat part about it, you don't know.", Loki said with a smile. "Hmm...I can feel it. I can feel the power coursing through my veins." Voldemort said as he felt his face after his rebirth. "Huh? Where's my nose!!!?" "Obviously, I have it! Do you want it? If you want it you need to praise Dumbledore!!" Loki said with an innocent smile. "Lord Voldemort does not need to listen to yo- Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time!!" Voldemort said with fanatic eyes, creating confusion amongst the death eaters. 'What!? Why am I saying this!? What did he do to me!?' "Who are you!??" Dumbledore asked calmly. "Me? Have I not introduced myself yet? Please call me Mr. Error." Loki said with a smile while adjusting the monocle over his right eye. Read more about Loki's adventures as he walks through his years at Hogwarts meeting and scamming an array of famous personalities that have become infamed in the world of Harry Potter. ********************************************************** Read 20 chapters ahead on my p@treon for $3 (USD) by going to the link, pa treon.com/hooin_kyoma_au . Remember to remove the space between 'a' and 't'.

Hooin_Kyoma · Livres et littérature
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274 Chs

Paper!

Knocking on the door softly, Loki and Hermione waited patiently for Snape to answer.

"Come in."

Loki strolled in casually while Hermione was a little restrained since this felt very much like enemy territory to her.

"Good evening Professor." Loki politely greeted and Snape returned his greeting with a head nod while standing behind a cauldron simmering on blue and pink fire.

Loki took stock of the ingredients lying on the table and appeared confused.

"Another one of your experiments professor?"

But Snape didn't respond.

"I think it'd be better if you added the Sunflower seeds after stirring the pot a little bit wouldn't it?" Loki questioned moving a little closer.

*SMACK*

Snape tucked the roll of newspaper back into his sleeves and went back to observing his potion.

"Why did you hit me again!? If you hit me more I might lose the last few brain cells I have left! What then! Who's going to help you in your experiments!?" Loki lampooned while rubbing his head.

Loki slipped behind the desk and began to chop and dice ingredients and casually interfere with the brew that Snape was preparing, tossing in ingredients seemingly at random.

While Hermione stood there dumbfounded at their actions and the undoubted sense of familiarity that carried their movements.

Suddenly Loki pushed Snape aside and pulled the stirrer to himself.

"Wait! I have an idea!"

Loki stirred the pot clockwise a couple of times slowly before rapidly stirring it anticlockwise to stop it spinning.

"And….done!" Loki said with a smile as Snape peered into the pot while Hermione came in closer.

The potion inside seemed to be turning a deep shade of lavender from a smooth baby pink giving it the beautiful appearance of the evening sky.

"It looks amazing professor! What were you going to do with it? Make a watch dial that reflects the time of day?" Loki asked calmly.

Snape didn't answer as usual and stepped back seemingly satisfied by the changes Loki had made to it.

Finally looking up from his cauldron Snape turned towards Hermione.

"Miss Granger, I expect you to keep up and follow the rules to a T.", Snape said handing Hermione a set of keys and a bag filled with what appeared to be shining Galleons.

"Yes Professor!" Hermione responded with excitement.

"What! Why didn't you tell me that!? I organised this entire thing." Loki said pretending to be enraged as both Hermione and Snape gave him deadpan looks. "Hehe, alright. I get it! You don't trust me! Alright!"

Snape handed Hermione the keys to a room and said, "Please wait outside, Miss Granger."

"Yes, Professor."

After Hermione left the room Snape turned to look at Loki and looked at him somewhat accusingly and just when Loki was about to speak he interrupted, "Take this flute."

"Oh!? You're giving me gifts now? You want to bribe m-Huh? Wait a second! Is this a spirit-calling item?"

"You know what it is." Snape plainly stated as if he was robbed of some joy.

"Yeah, Dominic told me about them when the Daily Prophet sent him the newspaper using one last year." Loki covered up.

"Then that makes things easier. Use it when you are in danger and my spirit will do its best to help you. Otherwise, it'll be keeping track of Miss Granger." Snape said and picked up a quill and parchment to take notes on his most recent experiment.

Loki looked at Snape with some admiration after which he took measured steps toward the door and before opening it he turned around and said in barely above a whisper, "Thank you, Professor."

Getting out of the office, Loki found himself assaulted by Hermione as she immediately asked him a question.

"What did Professor Snape tell you?"

"Nothing much, he was just making sure we would be alright once word got out that you started the paper with me.", Loki said warmly trying to stop the excited little gopher in front of him from jumping too much.

"Really!?" Hermione asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah, I told you already, Snape's a good guy, he just happens to be a little insufferable with the Gryffindors."

"..." Hermione nodded silently and began walking.

"Wait! Where are you going!?" Loki asked catching up to her.

But all that Hermione did was show him a key in response. On it were engraved the numbers 2 - 21.

Hermione and Loki then rushed up the stairs without ceremony, climbing to the second floor using all the shortcuts they remembered.

And once they were in front of the door with the number twenty-one, Hermione and Loki pushed the door open together.

"What do you think?" Hermione asked with a smile as she looked around the room but Loki didn't respond, he was busy staring at something in the other corner of the room.

"Is that it!?" Hermione questioned spotting and looking at what Loki was staring at.

"Yeah, this has got to be it. I didn't think Professor Snape would find something so soon."

"Does it not come with a manual?" Hermione asked moving close to the cloth covering the entire thing and struggling to pull it off.

"It should be somewhere around here. Muggle printers always keep breaking down, I hope the magical ones are not as weak and flimsy." 

"So when do you want to publish our first paper!?" Hermione asked with excitement.

"No way, not this week. We don't even know how to print something forget a whole paper that we don't even know the contents off!"

"Aww…" Hermione looked disappointed but after looking at the printer she became excited again.

"Let's look at it first.", Hermione said pulling the cloth once again but failing to do so Loki pulled out his wand and wordlessly cast a levitation charm surprising Hermione but she immediately let the cloth go so it slid off rather smoothly.

"Wow! It looks so pretty!" Hermione admired the large machine that was underneath.

"He even got us a camera, but not the picture-developing potion, I guess we're going to be making that ourselves."

"Do you want me to order the ingredients?"

"Let's first hold off on all the ordering, let's make a list first. Why are you the excited one and me the rational one!? Come on Mione, it's my turn to be all excited about breaking the rules. Didn't Professor Snape make sure of that!?"

"*sigh* well you're all right, I was just a little happy? Only now am I truly feeling the enormity of the task ahead. It didn't feel as important or scary in the letters you sent me."

Loki nodded.

"I guess we should begin by splitting tasks?"

"Yeah, I guess we should." "Then we can work together to come up with ideas about the paper columns.", Loki said with a smile since he was looking forward to what would happen to the tiny world of Hogwarts from now on.

'Although my goal isn't really the paper itself. But swindling everyone related to this. I can't wait to find out what's going to happen when students suddenly have a new avenue to let out their creative outlet.'

'I'll need help making it though…'

'Should I just ask Professor Snape to ask the Hogwarts Runes professor to help me out? Or invite someone else?'

'I'll divine about it later…'

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A/N : I didn't realise we already crossed two hundred powerstones! There will be an extra chapter today! Thank you for reading and supporting this story!

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