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HP X LOTM : Please Call Me Mr. Error.

"When did I sign away my wealth to you!?" Lockhart asked, shocked. "That's the neat part about it, you don't know.", Loki said with a smile. "Hmm...I can feel it. I can feel the power coursing through my veins." Voldemort said as he felt his face after his rebirth. "Huh? Where's my nose!!!?" "Obviously, I have it! Do you want it? If you want it you need to praise Dumbledore!!" Loki said with an innocent smile. "Lord Voldemort does not need to listen to yo- Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time!!" Voldemort said with fanatic eyes, creating confusion amongst the death eaters. 'What!? Why am I saying this!? What did he do to me!?' "Who are you!??" Dumbledore asked calmly. "Me? Have I not introduced myself yet? Please call me Mr. Error." Loki said with a smile while adjusting the monocle over his right eye. Read more about Loki's adventures as he walks through his years at Hogwarts meeting and scamming an array of famous personalities that have become infamed in the world of Harry Potter. ********************************************************** Read 20 chapters ahead on my p@treon for $3 (USD) by going to the link, pa treon.com/hooin_kyoma_au . Remember to remove the space between 'a' and 't'.

Hooin_Kyoma · Livres et littérature
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274 Chs

A Plan in Motion.

Arriving at a dumpster behind a Tesco, Loki began to scan the dumpster for a relatively medium-sized piece of cardboard that would be about his height and one he could carry easily.

'Cardboard, cardboard, where are you?'

'Perfect Cardboard where are you?'

'Hmm…cardbo- oh, I found a pen.'

Picking up the pen and storing it inside a pocket on his dirty pants, Loki went back to searching for the perfectly sized cardboard.

'Hmm…is this a new shirt? Why did they toss it out?'

'Oh well, I can use this instead of staying naked.'

Changing into the new shirt that looked like it had been painted with markers, Loki used the box that it had come in as the cardboard he needed by tearing the sides and flattening it a little.

'Hmm… All I need to do now is write about my business on it.'

Sitting down in the dumpster, Loki began to scratch on the plain side of the cardboard with the pen he had just picked up. And after a few minutes of designing in whatever primitive fashion he could, Loki took a step back to admire his work.

'This looks fine.'

'Ouch.'

'Curses, my wrist hurts. And my back hurts too! Did reviving not heal me entirely? Or is it just the malnourishment that is catching up?'

'And I stink.'

'Maybe I should wash myself in the River Thames before I go to any school.'

'Is it even clean?'

A Couple of minutes later, having taken a short shower using a tap that was attached to someone's house near the River Thames Loki sneaked onto a bus to reach the crossroads he remembered in his memories.

'Finally.'

'I'm here.'

Taking a short hike from the crossroads, Loki had arrived at the school nearest to him, Stonewall High, the local state school.

'I hope I'm not late.'

Finding a bench near himself, Loki sat himself down holding onto the cardboard sign he had made, displaying it to all the students who were walking into the gates of Stonewall High.

Waiting for about two minutes with no one noticing him, Loki grew a little impatient but then immediately picked up his courage and began to advertise himself like a street Hawker.

"Math and Science Homework for just 50p."

"Math and Science Homework for just 50p."

The continuous loud sound grabbed the attention of all nearby students who looked at Loki with amusement.

Loki's bizarre patterned oversized shirt and pants along with his malnourished frame made people mistake him for even younger than he already was, but they displayed nothing other than a small amount of pity as they walked away from him and went into the school.

After a little while though, two boys trotted away from their group of friends and walked to the bench Loki was sitting on, scaring him slightly since they resembled Ludwig and his gang, especially their wickedly arranged teeth.

But Loki kept his calm and faced them with a fearless business smile.

"How can a twat like you help us out with our Homweorks?" one of the boys asked but before Loki could answer he was interrupted by the second boy.

"James you fool, maybe he has the solutions already and he just needs to copy it for us."

"Oh! You could be right Clark!"

"I know everything and I'm always right."

"Then why didn't you finish your homework earlier!?"

"Because I knew the Allfather would grant us this wonderful opportunity today!"

'Allfather?' Loki noticed, but remained silent as he contemplated, 'A clue or just a child enamoured by myth?'

James shook his head at his friend's shamelessness and looked down at Loki to ask him a question once again.

"Is he right twat?"

Loki was angry for a second since he felt insulted when James called him a 'twat' but then considered the phrase 'The customer is always right.' and spread a big smile on his face.

"Of course. You are obviously right! I have all the solutions already!"

"Oh? Where is it?" Clark asked not seeing anything around Loki that would contain the answers to their problems.

"In here." Loki said pointing at his head.

James and Clark both lifted their eyebrows as they looked at the confident and smiling Loki with scepticism.

"What do you think Clark?"

"I still think the Heavenly father has given us this wonderful opportunity so that Mrs. Smith doesn't send us out of class to hold buckets as punishment today."

"I see. But what if he's wrong?"

"I'm sure we can beat him up and take back our 50 pence from him."

Loki sweat dropped at the blatant call for violence but he was confident in his knowledge so that such a situation wouldn't arise again, getting beaten up once by Ludwig and his gang had left a remarkable impression, literally.

But to make his customers happier, Loki gave them a personalised offer.

"I can promise you to do it for 25p each if you promise me to spread the word around your class that I was the one that finished your homework!"

James and Clark looked at each other and communicated nonverbally before simultaneously taking out books from their bags and handing it over to Loki.

They both opened their books and pointed at the homework Loki had to solve for them.

'So one math geometry problem and a few science questions about the powerhouse of the cell.'

'Easy.'

Solving the questions as quickly as he could while trying to copy the handwriting of the two so that the teachers wouldn't raise suspicion, Loki finished the two homework with great speed and efficiency.

Handing over the books back, Loki said, "I will be here at the same time tomorrow, you can find me if something goes wrong in it."

James and Clark looked over at Loki with surprise since he had finished their homework in under five minutes.

'Did we just pay for work that we could've done in five minutes?'

'Damn.'

Breaking them out of their surprise was Loki who held his hand out to collect the money that he was now owed.

"Do you trust him Clark?"

"The Allfather never lies."

"Then why don't you pay."

"...I'll pay you back tomorrow."

"..."

"I promise."

"...Ok."

James paid Loki for the both of them with a single 50p coin and he quickly thanked the two boys and left from there, lest they change their minds about this payment and beat him up to take it back from him.

Looking at the coin in his hand as he walked back down the street to steal a bus ride back home Loki exclaimed inside his mind and giggled like a mad scientist who had achieved the planned result of his great project.

'Hahahahaha!!! I don't need to steal anymore!'

'I'm a genius!'

'Everything is going according to Keikaku.'

'I wonder if Elane's woken up already.'

'Don't worry little sis! Your big brother is about to bring home something you'll love!'

'I should also bring sis tomorrow to move closer to the school. I don't want to have to keep paying Ludwig and his gang protection money.'

'I hope there is a similarly empty plot of land nearby where we can remake our shack.'

'Hmm….tough life ahead. But Elane's smile makes it all fun.'