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HP: The Big Bad Wolf

Bailed, gives a lazy guy a few wishes and sees how it works out. That is all that is required to comprehend the story if one wishes to engage in its reading. Picture is an AI art done by 3D1viner on DeviantArt. If the dude complains, I will change the picture!

Ikaru5 · Livres et littérature
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75 Chs

Chapter 19: I cannot be bothered. Part 1

[Flashback Number Two]

At the end of my encounter with the founders of Hogwarts, they asked for some time to discuss whether they should take me in as a disciple or not. I couldn't force them, so I accepted their request and left to attend to other pressing matters I had been procrastinating on.

I procrastinate partly due to my extreme laziness and partly due to feeling unnerved by the unknown nature of my powers. But being afraid won't solve anything. Since I was in Hogwarts, any mistakes I make will be blamed on Dumbledore, so I searched for an empty room with a bookshelf and began my experiment, albeit reluctantly.

"Wizarding History of unimportant events in the Past Decade? Who in their right fucking mind decides to write a 4000-page book about unimportant events of the last decade?! This society is borderline stupid. Written by Augustine Smallwood in 1660. Whatever. Geminio!" I cast, creating an exact replica of the book.

Then, I pointed my hand towards the book, and I heard a creepy voice speak up.

"Finally, you've summoned me. I was wondering when you'd summon me again; you made me wait, and I was getting hungry. *Sigh* Again, just a magical replica?!" The mouth in my hand spoke before its creepy, long tongue shot out. I quickly changed the direction of my hand, and it grabbed a chair instead.

Funny enough, I realized I was instantly aware of details about the chair, such as who built it, how old it is, how it was made, and what material it's made from.

"What was that for now?" The creepy voice questioned me annoyed at being hindered from eating his book.

"We need to talk, creepy blowjob-enticing entity! First, you need to tell me who the fuck, or rather, what the fuck you are?" I asked while keeping my hand pointed away from myself.

On another note, I do wonder if Deidara gives himself blowjobs, or if that counts as masturbation?! I mean, there are people literally training in yoga to give themselves head, but the dude could just, well, do it. So what exactly will that be termed as?!

'Bad Severus!! Stop getting side-tracked!' I admonished myself.

"Didn't the dude who established the contract explain anything to you?" It retorted.

"If he had done so, would I be here questioning you?" I countered.

"Touché. Then allow me to introduce myself! I am the demon Gaap, the giver and taker of Knowledge," Gaap said with his eerie voice sending shivers along my arm and down my spine.

'Motherfucker!' I curse mentally, as whenever he speaks I can feel the vibration in my arm.

"So I take it that you can give and take knowledge? Are there any limitations to your powers?" I inquired.

"Technically, no, there are not, well, except for what I don't know, but there is very little I don't know as a Demon with access to the multiverse. But according to my contract with your benefactor, I only have to provide you with knowledge from the books you give me," Gaap replied.

"So theoretically, you're able to give me knowledge about items and other stuff like potions, rituals, and so on, right?" I pressed for his limitations.

"I am indeed able to do that much, and much more, but only for the right price," it said, and I could feel the mouth on the palm of my hand curling into a grin.

"What can you give, and what will be the price?" I asked.

"I am a demon with knowledge, and knowledge is power! What do you think people have been doing throughout time?" Gaap posed the question.

"I assume people have been exchanging stuff, knowledge, and anything they have for the knowledge in your possession, right?" I ask Gaap, dripping with sarcasm.

"Haha, a sarcastic one, but anyway, that is indeed the case. Some exchanged their natural gifts for knowledge on how to rid their loved ones of an illness, some exchanged their wealth for knowledge on how to extend their lives, and so on. You get the point. Meanwhile, all I do is gather knowledge, learn, and engage in transactions with said knowledge. Be it powers, knowledge, or items, I have it all, my dearest contractor," Gaap replies, sending vibrations throughout my arm as he speaks.

'This dude is giving me goosebumps non-stop,' I think, annoyed at the feeling of shivers sent through my arm.

"So, what would you offer me if I were to offer you, let's say, a soul or a life?" I ask Gaap, thinking about a certain idiot who goes around throwing his soul into items, and said items into schools full of kids, kids that literally can do anything, like contracting a demon.

"Lovely! Now we are talking, my dearest contractor. If you were to sacrifice a life or offer me a soul piece, I'd be willing to grant you a permanent power of your choosing! Be it the Midas Touch, the power to read minds, Telekinesis, or something else?!" Gaap says excitedly at the prospect of getting to feast on a soul.

'I do wonder why souls are so valuable to these demons?! Whatever it is, Moldy's soul gets the treatment, not mine,' I think as an evil grin creeps onto my face.

"Sure, I can give you soul pieces for power, but I want the item housing these soul pieces back," I say.

"Sure, do you want to have it written down as a contract?" Gaap asks me.

"Yes, I do indeed! I also want to know what else you have that I'd be willing to exchange, either knowledge or some other things," I demand.

"Yeah, no problem. I will have it done after we are done here, and now give me that book," Gaap says.

"Okay," I reply as I point my arm back towards the book, and Gaap's tongue shoots out and grabs the magical copy.

"A pleasure doing business with you," Gaap says before his mouth closes and is replaced by an odd tattoo on the palm of my hand.

"Just place your hand on any book and demand to see the Contract and my inventory," is written on my palm in black ink, but it disappears as soon as I am done reading.

I move over to the bookshelf and pick up one of the books, willing to see the contract and list Gaap wants me to see.

Suddenly, the book's cover turns pitch black, and even the pages within turn black, but the lettering is golden.

[Gaap's Offer] is written in bold cursive golden letters, the very first page is a contract detailing everything about our future transactions, and it is waiting for me to sign it, and further inside I see items, powers, and knowledge listed as well as the corresponding prices.

The funny thing is that this black book reacts based on my intentions; I just need to think about what I need, and it opens up a certain page.

All I see is a simple description and the title of that page; the content is not visible at all.

I wonder how much the knowledge I have provided is worth, or if this guy even has knowledge of what I am. Suddenly, the page jumps to a page with [Werewolves] written at the very top.

Well, he does have some knowledge about werewolves, but as to how much, I don't know. I have received my knowledge from that deity, but what knowledge does Gaap possess?!

The description describes a method to conquer the wolf and become it, but it goes more along the way of it becoming your animagus form rather than becoming a Zoan devil fruit user like me.

You lose the ability to create further werewolves, but instead gain it as an Animagus form.

'Well, being downgraded to a mere Animagus probably sounds insane to these morons, as long as they don't have to go through the pain of transforming, they'll be happy and content. And if I use this knowledge right, I still get to enslave them even just with this piece of useless knowledge,' I contemplate, but the pricing is what annoys me.

It is stated that he wants two pieces of knowledge he doesn't have yet!

'How the heck am I supposed to know what the little fucker has and what he doesn't?' I think annoyed.

And so, I use the Geminio charm again on another book named [Pranks for the vindictive Gentleman.], and summon Gaap again.

"Hey, did you see something you want already?" Gaap asks me curiously.

"Nah, I want to know how I am supposed to know what knowledge you don't have if I want to use your transactional services," I say in a dry tone.

"Ah, true. Well, I have taken care of that problem now. So, gimme that book, and let me get back to my work," Gaap says a bit hurriedly.

"What work?" I ask.

"None of your business, Contractor." Gaap replies and disappears as he closes the mouth.

The book I gave him a copy of was about how a proper vindictive wizard ought to behave himself in public, and what pranks he can use and get away with.

I unsummoned the black book and expected to find the black dot in my palm, but instead, I saw the number 21 on my palm.

'Wait, what?! How have I provided him with so much knowledge already?' I wondered, thinking back to the three books I have given the creep.

One was from Malfoy, the other was about history, and finally one about pranks used by a proper wizard in public.

None of these books is anything special, but if Gaap is a demon of knowledge, he only cares about knowledge, not the content itself. So even useless pieces of knowledge are knowledge to it, right?

'Well, this is either very good for me or very bad because even useless knowledge will eventually run out,' I contemplated.

Anyway, I decided to exchange the knowledge for the werewolf-Animagus thing, but just as I was about to go through with it, my whole body went into survival mode, and my instincts flared up, warning me that something is not right with me. I stopped myself from going through with the transaction.

I pulled out my wand and started casting a few detection spells on myself and my surroundings, and lo and behold, I found a compulsion charm of sorts cast unto my person.

'Fucking blowjob demon, I knew the little cunt is untrustworthy!' I cursed mentally.

Even as a werewolf, I fell to its compulsion, and the only reason I stopped is because of the [Mask of Balzac]. Only thanks to its buff am I always at 100%, making it impossible to dull my senses even if the fucking blowjob demon tries it!

I stopped for a good second and started contemplating the actual problem and why there is a need for him to use a compulsion on me.

Just thinking for a second, I came up with a solid idea of what is going on.

See, the thing is, if I make my first choice based on a compulsion, I give him quite a lot of information about myself. To a demon of knowledge, information is power, and I don't know what the little asshole is going to use that for.

Especially if I go for this werewolf stuff. It is a dead giveaway that if werewolves start learning to control their transformation, then I am the cause, and he might sell this knowledge to my enemies for a price. Also, someone has given him said knowledge, right?! So, doesn't that mean that someone has discovered a means to remedy the curse? I am the first truly successful werewolf, and if someone ought to rediscover or find the solution on their own, then that person should be me.

I won't waste my advantage on stuff that will not directly benefit me! Also, I think he is baiting me. Like the first few purchases will be cheap, and the first few points are given liberally, but later on, he'll tell me he already had this or that knowledge and not accept my provided knowledge.

At some point, then he'll increase his prices; this is basic economics! Supply and demand. Right now, I have the supply and he has the demand, but once the tables switch, I'll be demanding and he'll be supplying.

*Sigh*

'What do I need?! I need a means to enslave people so they don't betray me! Other than this, I don't need anything!' I thought.

I can research my own means to enslave people. Moldyshorts has created his branding spell, and I can do so too, just as I can create my own personal space by abusing magic, or how I am creating my own wealth, and the only problem is that it is just taking time.

And as for power, I will earn it on my own. I just need time to grow, and I don't think this jerk has anything to help with that.

And just as I was annoyed, I saw the book flip to another page, and on top of the page in bold letters, it was written.

[Time Magic and its Applications]

When I saw this and read the description of it, I could not help but drool, but I collected myself.

'Motherfucker is really baiting me! I am not a bitch in heat! I have self-restraint.' I commanded myself.

Time magic is incredibly versatile. In theory, it can be used to see the future, maintain youthfulness, accelerate the aging of enemies, slow them down, or speed oneself up, among many other applications. But the problem is, I don't know what I'll be getting, so I need to ask for something more tangible.

What if all he has to offer is the ability to jump back in time for a few hours? I can get myself a Time Turner and won't need his nonsense.

I also suspect his aim is to eventually use me as a gateway to enter this dimension and feast on all the knowledge.

Demons are demons for a reason, and only a fool would trust them without expecting things to go south.

I'll consult with the founders and confide in them about demons.

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