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HP: Bruno in Dumblegame

[Word Count: 42.76K] Meet Bruno Green, the bloke who's got the inside scoop on all things Harry Potter. He's just transmigrated right back into the thick of it, returning to his original eleventh-year body in that wizarding world, without any actual memories of his previous life. What a return, huh? Now, brace yourselves for some serious butterfly effects as the story kicks off, starting in the blazing summer before Harry's first year at Hogwarts. There'll be a new prophecy around, one that's got Bruno on a collision course with Dumbledore, while Harry's gearing up for his showdown with Voldemort. So, expect the unexpected and enjoy the journey! General Approach & Style: I'm crafting a narrative that remains as true to canon as a Hippogriff, but with a distinct twist — it might start with a leisurely pace, embracing the slice of life element, and as we progress, the tempo accelerates, with a primary focus on adventures that'll warm your heart. However, there's an epic journey waiting in the shadows, concealed by a mysterious prophecy. Well, looks like I'll be accidentally cooking up some suspense and tossing in a sprinkle of action here and there (in chapter six). Before that we have heartwarming dramatic moments, a sprinkle of humor, exploration of familial bonds, and the joyful chaos of friendship. Plus, yes, there'll be hints for the gradual development of a romantic subplot, and a promise of smut to add some spice when the time is right. Alright, folks, let's set the record straight from the get-go. Don't go expectin' a load of smut right outta the gate. We're talkin' first-grade students here, and as our dear Bruno once wisely put it: 'I'll give it a shot... But come on... They're just a bunch of kids...' Hah. As for calling my fic a comedy, well, maybe some of the goblins might not catch the drift, but it's all in good fun for me. So, why not? Updates: Now, for a bit of more serious business. I might be a fresh bloke in this bloody scribbling, and these updates might be a bit unpredictable at least for starters. Let's ease into it. Target word count for each chapter: 5K+ enchanted words per week, but I'll start biweekly until I get used to it, to prevent burning me out. Note: Oi, and a little heads up – English isn't my native tongue, but hey, I'm pretending like a pro! So if you spot a few quirks and blunders here and there, just play along, won't you? After all, we're all in for the adventure! Hah. But seriously, let me know if your eagle eyes spot anything odd. Disclaimer: Nope, I'm not a Sirius Black. I'm not the one who can summon Butterbeer on demand either. These characters and the whole magical gig? Courtesy of J.K. Rowling. I'm just adding my two Knuts for fun and mischief.

SeriousBloke · Livres et littérature
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8 Chs

The Bravery Trial

The next morning, Bruno awoke in high spirits, feeling the effects of the healing potions gradually restoring his vitality. He eagerly envisioned the day ahead, knowing it would mark his last night at St. Mungo's Hospital. As his eleven-year slumber faded away, his body filled with newfound energy.

Bounding out of bed, Bruno drew back the curtains, and his sudden appearance startled a mentally disturbed old man across from him. The old man promptly covered himself with a blanket, muttering, "I'm not here... She won't find me... She'll never know where I am..."

The duty healer had to intervene to coax the old man out from hiding. While there were other patients in the ward affected by irreversible curses but with clear minds, they held little interest for Bruno. Even if someone his age were around, it wasn't a concern for him. After all, in his previous life, he was much older, yet he felt content just being on his own.

Lying back on the bed, Bruno reached for the latest issue of the Daily Prophet from the bedside table. He had no doubt that his mother had arranged for the healers to leave the newspaper for him every morning. Besides the newspaper, he had some books from the past school year, but reading them alone lacked the magic of having an adult wizard nearby to answer questions, so he focused on the Prophet.

As he read, Bruno gradually grasped the workings of the magical world, which differed significantly from the Muggle perspective. It struck him how magic seemed to make most wizards somewhat childish and carefree about what everything around. Take, for instance, the article about a wizard boasting of a battle with a Yeti. Confronting such a magical beast should have been a harrowing experience, but it was treated more like a heroic tale meant to be shared for laughs and applause. Such attitudes left Bruno both fascinated and skeptical.

A formidable-looking old lady caught his attention, distracting him from reading. Augusta Longbottom wore a long green dress with a moth-eaten fox fur cloak draped over her shoulders and a pointed hat adorned with a griffin headpiece. Following behind her was her round-faced grandson. Bruno was ready to bet anything that it was Neville. The boy didn't lift his head until he stood next to his mother, Alice. She was standing there with an absent expression, gazing at the ceiling.

Bruno believed that making friends in childhood was a simple, ordinary thing, not something to worry about. As people grew older, they became less trusting of strangers, so he didn't concern himself with it too much. 

After Augusta Longbottom left the ward, Bruno set the newspaper aside and walked over to Neville.

"Mom?" Bruno simply asked, nodding towards the woman twirling around in place.

Neville flinched but didn't remain silent.

"Yeah," he mumbled softly in response, as if expecting mockery.

Neville probably thought of him as one of those odd patients, so he began to pay less attention to him. Bruno shifted his gaze and gestured towards the sleeping man with a bald patch on the crown of his head.

"Your dad?"

"Yeah," Neville replied in the same manner.

"I'm not too convinced if I've got a dad. Mom never blabs about him," Bruno piped up, laying it out straight.

Neville tensed, as if trying to make sense of what was said.

"Everyone has a dad. It can't be that he doesn't exist," Neville said.

"Well, yeah, that's a point. It's just I ain't got a clue if he's either kicked the bucket or just ain't bothered with me," Bruno shrugged, playin' it cool. "You got both. They'll probably get the cure eventually."

Bruno tried to speak as innocently as possible. Discussing someone's sick parents wasn't a great topic for making acquaintances, but he couldn't think of anything better. Neville didn't seem to find anything offensive in the boy's words.

"Everyone say they can't be cured," Neville said sadly.

Bruno waved it off.

"Who cares what they're blabberin'. I clocked in an eleven-year nap, and nobody was bettin' on me wakin' up, but look at me now."

Recognition flickered on Neville's face.

"You're the boy from the Prophet! My grandma talked about you."

"Yeah, well, you probably caught on that my name's Bruno," he quipped, his hand outstretched. "And what about you?"

"Neville," he replied, hesitantly shaking Bruno's hand in return.

At that moment, Alice suddenly jumped up and hopped between the beds, completely ignoring the boys.

"Where's your mom off to?" Bruno asked.

"Well... She's probably going to the bathroom," Neville sighed, then mumbled almost inaudibly, "Or looking for an empty wrapper."

An awkward pause hung between them.

"Hey, speaking of which, I've got a heap of candies sent my way. Seems like some readers figured I was the only kid on the planet who didn't snack on sweets before heading to school. Come on, tag along; you can help me chip away at their numbers," Bruno said, not really waiting for a reply, as he tugged Neville over to his bed. "Tell me about those bursts of magic. You manage to pull anything off yet?"

In the story of how Uncle Algie accidentally dropped Neville out of the window, there was an interesting detail that wasn't mentioned in the canon. After that incident, Neville managed to make his body soft and bouncy like a ball a few more times when he fell. It reminded Bruno of young Tom Riddle, who learned to move objects with the power of his mind while still in the orphanage. What if Neville's spontaneous magic had developed into a permanent ability as he grew older? It was an intriguing theory. However, it saddened Bruno that from Neville's accounts, the only conclusion was that spontaneous magic happens randomly and causes random effects, perhaps fueled by adrenaline, but he had no intention of jumping out of a window to test it.

The thought of not being a wizard if he didn't perform spontaneous magic within a few weeks terrified Bruno. Olivia categorically refused to share her wand to see if he could do magic. She seemed content with the existence of the prophecy and wasn't too concerned about it. Yes, Bruno remembered that he was a natural in Occlumency, but it was still so desirable and thrilling to do something magical on his own. Olivia also explained that his future wand might not respond well if he used other wands before it. This left Bruno somewhat perplexed. There was still much to learn about these magical instruments.

As the two boys continued chatting, a pile of empty candy wrappers had gathered around them on the bed. Soon, Alice joined them, standing like a statue and absentmindedly munching on an offered candy while humming a tune to herself. Neville became a little more cheerful, seeing that Bruno didn't mind his mother's condition.

"Do you have any idea which house you'll end up in?" Neville asked him for the first time. The topic of houses seemed to interest every child before entering Hogwarts.

"I think I'll just ask the Sorting Hat to shove me into Gryffindor," Bruno replied.

"Ask the Sorting What?" Neville inquired.

Bruno was surprised that adults didn't like to tell children about this. It must be another silly wizards' tradition.

"The Sorting Hat, mate. During the Sorting Ceremony, they plonk this ancient, talkin' hat on your noggin. It reads your thoughts or somethin', figures out where you should go. All you gotta do is tell the hat where you wanna be, and it actually takes that into account."

"Oh," Neville responded, a hint of confusion evident in his voice.

"So, where you wanna end up?"

"Well... I'd like to be in Gryffindor, like my parents, but I'm not sure if I'll make it there," Neville replied.

"Did you miss the part where I said you just blurt out 'Gryffindor' to the hat? It's not some ancient runes studies."

Neville was about to reply, but his bum slipped off the bed, and he clumsily plopped down on the floor. After a few seconds, he stood up, blushing.

"You see, I'm a bit clumsy. I don't think Gryffindor would take me."

Bruno laughed, but then abruptly stopped, noticing that Neville was on the verge of tears, rubbing his bruised elbow. Apparently, this time his accidental magic of a rubbery body decided not to manifest itself. Without much thought, Bruno leaned back and also plopped down on the floor.

"Ouch," he exclaimed when he felt a sharp pain in his elbow. "It's more painful than I expected."

From above the bed, the round face of the boy appeared.

"Why did you do that?" Neville asked in shock.

"Just wanted to give you a demo that falling, or let's say, failing ain't the end of the universe. It's about how you pick yourself up after and trust in your own grit," Bruno said, his tone laced with determination and a touch of ache as he massaged his bruised elbow and hauled himself up. "Though right now, it's looking like a less-than-brilliant idea. This actually hurts. Good thing we're at the St. Mungo. You can tumble all day long, and the healers'll have you right as rain. Just avoid jumping out of windows, ya know." He let out a chuckle and tacked on, "Now it's your turn."

Neville raised an eyebrow, seemingly considering that he had gotten involved with a madman. The good thing was that he no longer seemed inclined to cry.

"What do you mean?" he asked cautiously.

"Take a nosedive," Bruno stated coolly, settling back onto the bed. "Show you ain't afraid—be the real Gryffindor deal. That's our trial for your bravery. Trust you've got it, just like your folks!"

Neville frowned, glancing at his mom, whose attention was focused on the wrappers on the bed, and then looked into the distance at his still-sleeping father. After a few more seconds of contemplation, Neville glanced back at Bruno, nodded, and then squeezed his eyes shut, falling backward as if he were a professional diver.

This action elicited wild laughter from Bruno. It seemed that magic really did make wizards act weird, and Bruno was no exception by suggesting such a challenge. Anyway, he never thought Neville would fall for such overt silliness, but what more could one expect from an eleven-year-old boy? Judging from the sound of the impact on the floor, Neville had clearly acquired a bump on the back of his head. However, a hint of a smile appeared on his face.

"Now it's your turn," he said, standing up and rubbing his head.

"No sweat at all," Bruno chimed in with an almost maniacal grin.

This crazy masochistic bravery trial continued until Augusta Longbottom returned to the ward. She froze in shock at the sight before her. Her round-faced grandson hopped onto the bed, shut his eyes tight, and then, as if he'd been hit with a full-body binding curse, surrendered to his fate and slammed face-first onto the floor.

Blood spurted.

"GRYFFINDOR!" Bruno hollered, then broke into a fit of laughter.

"What... in the name of Merlin... What is going on here?" the elderly woman exclaimed as she approached them. "Oh, Neville!" she cried out when she saw her grandson's bloodied face.

"This... B-bravery trial. Now I'm a Gryffindor!" Neville declared defiantly.

Blood was still flowing from his nose.

Augusta didn't know how to react to the situation. Bruno tried to hold back his laughter, but it wasn't going well. She sternly examined the boys and then said firmly, "Now, explain yourselves, young men."

Of course, Bruno took the lead in explaining, but there was no punishment after their story. Augusta listened attentively and then called over the duty healer, who got scolded for his prolonged absence from the ward. It was remarkable that Bruno and Neville managed to pull off their improvised trial.

After the healing spell, Neville's nose was back in order. Some potion quickly got rid of all the bruises, leaving an unpleasant medicinal smell behind. As Bruno pointed out, the healers couldn't leave any injuries on the body as punishment. Augusta settled for a promise from both Bruno and Neville that they wouldn't intentionally harm themselves anymore. After that, her face softened, and she told Neville, "I'll go wake up Frank to have his meal. You can chat with your new friend for a bit. I'll call you later."

The boys sat back on the bed, popping candy into their mouths. There was an atmosphere as if they had just gone through a battle. Their clothes were rumpled, and there was still an unpleasant smell of healing ointment coming from their elbows. Neville stared thoughtfully at his fingers.

"Does something else hurt?" Bruno asked.

"No. It feels like one of them bent, but it didn't break," Neville said softly. "Do you think it's what you were talking about? Rubber magic?"

Bruno struggled to hold back a chuckle. "Rubber magic? That's what you're callin' it? Well, sure, we could try bendin' your fingers to test it out, but I reckon your grandma ain't gonna be thrilled 'bout our little experiment, especially if we end up breakin' one of your fingers."

Neville shuddered at the prospect. "I'll pass. I don't like the feeling of pain much."

"Be weird if you were," Bruno replied, starting to unwrap a package of pumpkin cookies. "By the way, any idea what's up with that old bloke over yonder?"

He nodded towards the bed opposite them. The old man was still hiding under the blankets.

"Mm... Oh, yes. His wife cursed him, but grandma says he cursed himself to get away from home. Now he's always like this," Neville said. Then, with an unexpected question, he looked at Bruno with hope. "Do you really think my parents will get better?"

"Damn right," Bruno replied without hesitation. "Key thing is to keep the faith. Dragon pox didn't have no cure for the longest while, then suddenly it cropped up."

Neville nodded seriously in response. After that, they didn't bring up the topic of Neville's parents again and instead started sorting through the magical trading cards Bruno had. They discussed a lot of wizards. There was even a goblin king and other beings among the cards.

"Neville!" his grandmother called out some time later.

"Well, I guess it's time for me to go home," Neville mumbled.

"I'm breaking out of this joint tomorrow, so catch you on the train," Bruno said.

"If you want you can visit me at my place," Neville said.

"I'll check with the boss lady, my mom," Bruno replied.

Before leaving, Augusta Longbottom give Bruno a grateful smile despite the methods he used. Seeing her grandson confidently walking between the beds with his sleeves rolled up, she felt a surge of pride.

"Made a new friend?" Olivia asked, making Bruno jump on the bed.

"When did you get here?"

"Your boss lady's been hanging around for a while," Olivia replied with a grin. " You were so engrossed you didn't even notice me coming in. I even had a chat with Augusta."

"You know her?"

"Of course, we're frequent visitors here. Honestly, it was quite awkward talking to her after you woke up. Seeing her hopeful gaze on her son..." 

Olivia's voice carried a mix of emotions, her words punctuated by a reflective pause.

"Speaking of dads, can you tell me about my old man?" Bruno's question sounded innocent enough, but there was a hint of curiosity and longing beneath the surface.

Olivia froze, as if Bruno had asked something forbidden, her expression caught between surprise and contemplation.

"Oh... But if you don't want to..." Bruno's voice trailed off, sensing the discomfort his question had caused.

"No, no, it's fine. I mean, it's not the most cheerful subject. I usually avoid it, but I get that you need to know. It's just gonna take some time to get through it all," Olivia admitted with a touch of vulnerability, her gaze momentarily distant.

She looked like a little kid who'd done something wrong. It was oddly endearing. Bruno also caught a glimpse of something like distaste in her tone, so he tried to lighten the mood.

"You can just go with the short version like your dad is dead, died five years ago, the end." 

Olivia hesitated for several seconds, but then started to speak. Her voice seemed to trailed off, the past seemingly resurfacing in her mind.

"Well... He went to America a while after you were born and..." 

"Whoa, hold on. That's plenty. He left you behind, got it. My version's better anyway," Bruno interrupted, a mix of playfulness and sensitivity in his tone, earning a small smile from Olivia.

Keeping his mom all cheery and stuff was like priority number one for Bruno.

"Thank you," she said quietly and decided to shift away from the somber topic too. "Augusta told me about the bravery trial you set up with Neville." 

"That? Yeah, I kinda improvised. Ended up sorta becoming friends in the process. Oh, darn," Bruno said, slapping his forehead.

"What now?"

"I could bring up the whole wand situation to make him buy a new one. You know, in the canon, Neville had trouble using his dad's wand. Shouldn't his grandma know he needs his own?"

Olivia sighed. "It seems Augusta spends too much gold on potions. She has to look after three children, after all," she explained, reminding Bruno that besides Neville, there's also Frank and Alice. "We can probably meet her again in Diagon Alley. We can talk about wands then. Neville will still need to buy all his school supplies when he gets his Hogwarts letter... If you want, we can visit him once you get used to everything... Uh... Or do you not want to?" Olivia cautiously asked, noticing Bruno's grimace.

"Well... It ain't like I'm dead set against it... He's a decent kid and all, but I ain't exactly thrilled about babysitting a young'un day in and day out... Especially when we got a boatload of stuff to handle."

"So, Harry is an exception?"

"Ermm... He's the inevitable one." Bruno said with a smirk. 

"Oh, Bruno," Olivia said, sighing deeply. She sat next to him on the bed and hugged him. "I know you think you're more grown-up than others, but don't try to be too mature. Just be yourself. Try to enjoy your school years. Of course, you should study well, but don't dedicate all your time to fulfilling the prophecy. You should make friends and have fun with them. Do you understand?"

Bruno looked at his mom's serious face and then nodded. It was strange to hear such an insistent request from her.

"I'll give it a shot... But come on... They're just a bunch of kids..."

"Don't worry," Olivia added, smiling. "There are kids much more mature than their age. Maybe you'll meet someone like that in Ravenclaw."

"Hey! Enough with the Ravenclaw promotion. I'll be snagging the brainiest girl in Gryffindor. No need to search elsewhere."

"Oh, you're such a romantic, a real softy deep down! I'll keep this memory to show her at your wedding."

A faint blush crept across Bruno's cheeks, betraying him. "You know I didn't mean it like that... And besides... I haven't even laid eyes on her."

"Of course, I know. I just enjoy seeing you blush," Olivia said, ruffling his curly hair. "It's so adorable after all that effort you put into being all cool."

  ***

In the next episode...

"Set a course for Leaky Cauldron."

"Aye-aye, Captain. Course laid in."

"Maximum write. Type it."

 

Well, mates, after a bit of sneaky reworkin', I had to slide in a sly wink that Neville might not be the ultimate best mate material—yet. To me, he and Bruno are still dancin' in different leagues. But you can't deny, the lad's got potential. And who knows, maybe he'll snag a better role with all this butterfly effect business. Huh. Back to the story, then? Let's keep goin'!

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