How to Talk to a Celebrity

Suppose you've just settled in for dinner at a nice restaurant. You

look over at the next table, and who do you see? Is it really he?

Could it possibly be? It's gotta be a look-alike. No, it isn't! It really

is . . . Woody Allen. (Substitute any celebrity here: your favorite

movie star, politician, broadcaster, boss who owns the company

that owns the company you work for.) And there the celestial body

is in the flesh, sitting not ten feet from you. What should you do?

Nothing! Big shots don't slobber over stars. Let the luminary

enjoy a brief moment of anonymity. If he or she should cast a

glance in your direction, give a smile and a nod. Then waft your

gaze back to your dining companion. You will be a lot cooler in

the eyes of your dinner partner if you take it all in your stride.

Now, if you just can't resist this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to press the flesh of the megastar and tell him or her of your

admiration, here's how to do it with grace. Wait until you or the

luminary are leaving the restaurant. After the check has been paid

and you will obviously not be taking much of his or her time, you

may make your approach. Say something like, "Mr. Allen, I just

want to tell you how much pleasure your wonderful films have

given me over the years. Thank you so much."

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How to Talk to a

Celebrity

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Did you pick up the subtlety here? You are not complimenting his work. "After all," he might well ask himself, "who are you

to judge whether I am a great filmmaker or not?" You can only

speak from your own perspective. You do this by telling him how

much pleasure his work has given you.

If it's your boss's boss's boss's boss whom the fates have sent

to bask in your adulation, do the same. Do not say "Bill" or "Mr.

Gates, you really run a great company."

"Lowly geek," he thinks, "who are you to judge?" Instead, tell

him what an honor it is to work for him. Obviously this is not the

moment to detail the intricacies of your improvements on imageediting software for digitizing photographs.

Then let your body language express that if Woody or Bill or

the other megastar wants to leave it at that, you are happy with

the exchange. If, however, the megastar is captivated by you (or

has had so much liquid merriment that he or she has decided to

mingle with the masses tonight), then all bets are off. You're on

your own. Enjoy! Until you pick up the first body-language sign

that they would like to end it. Think of yourself as a ballroom

dance student waltzing with your teacher. He leads, you follow.

And he tells you when the waltz is over.

Incidentally, if the megastar is with a companion and your

conversation goes on for more than a few moments, direct some

comments at the companion. If the satellite is in such stellar company, he or she is probably also an accomplished person.

Felicia, a friend of mine, is a talented trial lawyer who is married to a local TV-show host. Because Tom is on television, people recognize him wherever they go, and Felicia gets ignored.

Felicia tells me how frustrating it is, even for Tom. Whenever they

go to a party, people gush all over Tom, and Felicia's fascinating

work hardly ever gets mentioned. She and Tom used to love going

out to dinner, but now they hide out at home in the evenings.

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Why? Because they can't stand the interruptions of overly effervescent fans.

"I Love What You Used to Be

[You Has-Been]"

Another sensitivity: the film star is probably obsessed with his last

film, the politician with her last election, a corporate mogul with

his last takeover, an author with her last novel—and so forth. So

when discussing the star's, the politician's, the mogul's, the author's,

or any VIP's work, try to keep your comments to current or recent

work. Telling Woody Allen how much you loved his 1980 film

Stardust Memories would not endear you to him. "What about all

my wonderful films since?" thinks he. Stick to the present or very

recent past if possible.