How to Make ’Em Feel Your Admiration “Just Slipped Out”

Here's yet another caress for someone's ego. Don't give a blatant

compliment. Merely imply something magnificent about your conversation partner. Several months ago, I was visiting an old friend

in Denver whom I hadn't seen in a long time. When he came to

my hotel to pick me up, he said, "Hello, Leil, how are you?" Then

he paused, looked at me, and said, "You've obviously been well."

Wow, I felt terrific. He implied I looked good and that made my

evening.

Guess the Good Lord decided I shouldn't have too swollen a

head, however, because later that evening, after my friend dropped

me off, I got into the hotel elevator. A maintenance man entered

at the third floor. He smiled at me. I smiled back. He looked at

me again and said, "Gosh, ma'am, was you a model? [Oh, man,

was I feeling on top of the world now!] . . . when you was young?"

he continued.

CRASH! Why couldn't he have zipped his lip before the

zinger? I loved the implication in the first part of his comment.

But the second implied I was now an old lady. Ruined my next

day. Heck, his unintentional low blow ruined my week. In fact I

still feel wretched about it.

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How to Make 'Em Feel

Your Admiration "Just

Slipped Out"

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You have to be careful of unintentional bad implications. If,

visiting a new city, you stop someone on the street and say, "Excuse

me, could you tell me if there are any fine dining restaurants

nearby?" you are implying the passerby is a person of taste. If,

however, you ask that same passerby, "Hey, know any down and

dirty bars in this burg?" your implication is entirely different. Find

a way to imply magnificent qualities of those you wish to indirectly compliment.

208 How to Talk to Anyone

Technique #53

Implied Magnificence

Throw a few comments into your conversation that

presuppose something positive about the person you're

talking with. But be careful. Don't blow it like the wellintentioned maintenance man. Or the southern boy

who, at the prom, thought he was flattering his date

when he told her, "Gosh, Mary Lou, for a fat gal you

dance real good."