Chapter59

#Chapter59

I walk up the beach as if I just survived a shipwreck. I guess in a sense I did. People stare as I trudge through the sand in my drenched clothes—quite aware of how bizarre I look while I am too spaced out to notice myself. After climbing over the wall and embarrassingly walking through town like a castaway, I make my way down the street where my Aunt's house sits at the end.

I think I realized something as I jumped into the water and left all my worries on the dock. I think I realized that I'm not okay, and not because I drink too much or surround myself with bad people, but because I haven't been taking care of myself. Popping random pills, fighting with ex-boyfriend's, constant teetering between ecstatic and utterly empty—it's torn Emma apart and suddenly I'm not sure who Emma is. Is she a helpless romantic? Is she a writer? Is she a Stanford student? Is she in love?

I chew on my salty lip as the house nears.