Leaving the fire pack

OLIVE

I was furious that Nolan lied to me. That he kept me in the dark and made a fool of me. That he made me fall in love with him twice, not knowing he was the same. I had thought I was a confused person. I had thought I was the weird one. The one who got mated to two people who are both alphas. One gentle, and the other ruthless. I had thought I was the strange one who had fallen in love with two alpha. I had had sleepless nights wondering why I loved the ruthless alpha as well as Nolan.

I had thought something was wrong with me. I thought if I tell it out to someone, they will see me as the strange one. They will tell me I was sick and confused. But who would have believed that Nolan was the ruthless alpha?. He had no single trait I could think of that is the same as the ruthless alpha. Everything about him seems too gentle to be ruthless.

"Was he the ruthless alpha or he is just playing tricks on me?" I thought. Is there something I have been missing out on?.

I took time, trying to understand how they tend to connect. I needed to be sure what I heard was right and it wasn't my imagination playing tricks on me. I tried connecting the dots. What exactly makes them look alike. I mean I haven't seemed the ruthless alpha's face before but I have heard him talk. I have seen him do some things too. Though I have seen Nolan's face before that wasn't a criterion in judging the two of them.

I needed something different. I thought about the way they behave. There has to be something that will connect them. I was sure no matter how he tries to hide his true self when he behaves as the ruthless alpha, there will be something he couldn't stop doing or something that tells him to be Nolan.

I batted my lashes. There is one thing I can now remember. I wondered why I did not think of that. I remember saying something about Nolan's aura. I had noticed Nolan had the same aura with the ruthless alpha whenever he gets angry or whenever he uses his alpha voice. Why did I not suspect they were the same?. I rolled my eyes. Is that strong enough to prove that they are the same?

With what I heard from him and my thought on the aura, I concluded that they are the same. I sat on the bed, holding my chest. It hurts so badly to believe that he lied to me. That he was the ruthless alpha and he never left a trace. How does he manage to leave the pack without a trace?. How about school?. Does he miss school just to the ruthless alpha?. He must have skipped going to work too.

I brushed my hair backward. "Why would he lie to me?" I thought.

"He lied to everyone close to him what do you expect he do to you?. Tell you the truth?" My subconscious mind asked

I couldn't help but agree on that. I remembered when I told Nigel about it, his expression, though he hid it quickly showed that he wasn't aware of it. I had thought of telling him because I thought he knew about it and had kept it away from me. He was speechless for a while and when he finally spoke up, all he said was. "Do not say it out to anybody else. Not even Nolan, himself"

I was furious. I thought we would go together to pour out our disappointment and anger. I thought he had flared up and will go straight to ask him why he had to lie to him. When I asked him why he wanted me to keep shut, he said. "He has his reason for keeping away from us. That is his way of keeping us safe. If anyone finds out about him being Nolan, we will become his weakness. Nolan has gone through a lot. He has come this far. We can't let us be a weakness to him"

I stared at him. He knew his friend so much and despite being angry, he still respected his friend's decision. He still wanted the best for him. I respected him for making such a decision. I respected him for loving his friend so much that he was ready to be lied to. For as long it keeps his friend safe. I was sure Bella will say the same thing and Ella, she won't say less.

While Nigel was leaving, he asked me if I could stay in my room for a while until the tension dies down. He knew if Nolan sees my face, he would want to talk about it. I nodded and he left. As I watched him leave, tears dripped down my face. I seem to be the only one who has gotten so angry for finding this out. I am the only one who wants to talk about this. I am the only one who seems odd here. I lay down on my bed. I will wait until he shows up and tells me why he kept it a secret. If he doesn't show up, I will leave the fire pack for good. I don't think I can withstand seeing him and pretending everything was fine.

**

I opened my eyes and the ray of light indicating that it was another brand new day shun into the room from one opening in the curtain. I remembered dropping my curtains down before sleeping yesterday. Someone must have entered my room this morning and opened the curtain. I sat up wondering who had entered my room. The door opened and Ella walked in. "Someone has finally decided to wake up"

I rolled my eyes. "Why are you here?"

"I was worried when you did not show up at Nolan's room yesterday. I thought you were sick"

Hearing Nolan's name, everything I had tried to forget about came flooding in. I remembered everything vividly. I could also remember waiting all through the night, hoping he would show up at my room to tell me everything is a lie. And even if it happens to be true. He should tell me how sorry he was for lying to everyone. I had thought he would show up and tell me why he needed to keep it a secret. He never showed up until I fell asleep.

I frowned. He is so full of himself. Does he think what he did was right? Or does he think being the ruthless alpha makes him some sort of demigod?. I was furious he never showed up. "Olive!!" Ella called

I batted my lashes. "Y-you called me?"

"I've been calling you. You seem off. Are you ok?"

I smiled hiding my anger. "I'm fine. Did you open those curtains?"

Ella furrowed her brows. "You did not open them?"

"No"

"I thought you did. I just came in now"

I furrowed my brows. Who would have done this?. It can't be Nolan? He never showed up in my room yesterday and I am sure he wasn't in my room this morning. I sighed and stood up. "I will go take my bath"

"Ok. Breakfast is ready though"

I wasn't ready to face Nolan yet. I wanted him to come to my room and tell me everything I needed to know. I wanted to give him the benefit of a doubt. "Can you bring breakfast to my room?. I feel a bit tired" I asked

Ella nodded. "Sure. You look like someone who hasn't gotten enough sleep". I glared at her and she chuckled. "Just joking but I'm kinda serious. I don't think you got enough, sleep last night. Is there anything..." She stared at my face and must have understood I wasn't in the mood for her chatty talks cause she quickly added. "Breakfast will be here in a bit"

**

I have been waiting in my room for over four hours hoping Nolan would come but he never showed up. I was disappointed. I only wanted him to tell me why he did all that. All I wanted was to hear him tell me with his mouth that he is the ruthless alpha. All I wanted was to build back the truth I had in him that was already failing. I have always trusted him so much. And has always thought things were going well between us.

I thought our love was going to bloom so well and I will accept him as my mate and become his luna. I had thought one day he was going to mark me under the full moon. I had dreamt so much about it that it gives a shiver down my spine. I had thought so much about the day it will come to pass that I thought I was going to lose control of myself soon.

I can remember the night he left before he got wounded, how he had whispered so sweet words in my ear and I had thought he loves me. I had thought when he comes back it will be easier to tell him how I feel about this, considering the feeling is mutual.

But I guess I was wrong. I guess I was stupid to have thought that he loves me. I was not in my right frame of mind to have thought he was going to show up in my room just to tell me he is the ruthless alpha. To tell me why he did everything he did.

The kiss we had does not mean anything to him?

As much as it means a lot to me?. Why did he pull me close when I tried pulling off?. Why did he make me feel that sensation when he knows he wasn't going to love me back. I walked to my wardrobe and opened it. I began to arrange all my clothes into my box. I have given him enough time to prove himself. I have given him time to set things straight but I don't think he will do that. I don't think he wants that. So, I am leaving the fire pack for good and will not return until he sees my importance and comes for me!!