Accepting his true self

OLIVE

Since the day my parents died and my pack was attacked, I stopped being myself. I stopped being the Olive everyone used to know. It was a new me with a scar of pain in my heart. Caring became the thing of the past and my heart was made of stone. I had to put the packhouse and other things back in shape and to do that, I needed to empty the pack territory. Nolan agreed to accept my pack members left. He took them to his pack while I stayed back to see what I could do.

Seeing the way everything was, I knew I needed some months to put things back in shape. I looked around at the once lively packhouse. I could see the kids running around like they use to. The teenagers are being chased by their parents to go for training against their will. I saw my mom wave at me from the balcony. I smiled and wave back. "You should come upstairs for lunch. You've been working too hard" she said and I smiled.

"I'm coming over, mother," I said and took a step. I must have taken the wrong step because I made to fall.

"A warrior doesn't fall, Olive," my dad said from behind. I turned and he was smiling at me.

"Dad" I whispered

"Olive" he called

"I missed you. I missed you and mom" I said sadly.

He smiled. "Look who is missing us now"

"Dad, I do miss you. I miss our training together. I miss mom's nagging. I hate being saddled with this great responsibility"

He sighed. "You've always wanted to be in charge. What's wrong"

"I can't concentrate dad. I..."

"You've done a great job, Olive. You're doing a great job and you will keep doing a great job. You've got great friends who are willing to help you. You've got everything you need to do well. I trust you, Olive. Do make me and your mother proud"

"Dad...". I made to move closer to him but he was gone. "Dad" I called more in a whisper. I turned and my mom was gone too. Everything I had seen earlier was gone, leaving the once lively pack, in isolation.

If I could shed tears, I would have done that already. I would have broken down and wept. The fact that I couldn't talk much with my mother was painful. Maybe that was because I was closer to my dad than I was to her. Seeing how much I missed her, I regretted not spending time with her. Not telling her how much I loved her. How much I loved her courage. I never thought a day would come when I would miss her so much and won't be able to tell her.

Just a few days ago, they were both laid to rest with the beta, and alongside those that had died. As I watched them be buried and knowing that was the last time I was going to see them, tears would have dripped down my face, but none did. It was like my mind was made up not to cry. Though I was been hit by the reality that they were gone and won't be returning, a part of me still believes that they are alive.

Maybe that's the reason I could not shed tears. Maybe I want to keep believing they are alive and crying will only give me doubt. Maybe it's better if I keep showing this courageous face of mine to my people. This will keep them at peace and they will know that they've got a strong woman as their head and they have nothing to worry about.

**

Bella and Ella came to join me at the mountain pack. And though they tried as much as they can to be lively, I could still tell they were worried about me. Worried I might do something nasty. Ella who had known me for a very long time was more worried than Bella. She knew what I could do and must be afraid I might hurt myself.

"You don't have to keep looking at me that way. Spill it out" I said

Bella stared at Ella, who nodded for her to go on. "Don't you think you should come to the fire pack with us? It's risky for you to be here alone"

I knew that was one of their reason for coming here. "I am ok here"

"You're not, Olive. We both know you're not" Ella spoke up. "The rest of the pack members are worried about you. They think it's high time you find your mate"

I frowned. "Are they thinking I can't rule them?" I asked, folding my arms.

"No. No. They just want you to be happy. I know how pained you are right now. I think you need someone else who will give instructions. You can't rule them in this state of mind. And you can't get your revenge if you are rooted here" Ella answered

I sighed. "I can't accept Nolan as my mate. I can't"

Bella held my hand. "If you can't accept Nolan as your mate. Can you at least pretend, you do?"

"Mate thing doesn't work that way"

"Just to keep the pack members' mind at rest"

"I can't pretend to accept me. I can't. And please we should not talk about this again"

I turned to leave but Ella's voice stopped me. "Do you still love him?"

I froze for a bit but pick up my courage immediately. I turned to face her. "Did I not say I don't want to talk anymore about this?" I asked, glowing. Bella held her as she tried to say something. "You should leave. It's getting late" I said and left.

I could not say what time they left but when I returned, it was dark and they were gone. I entered the only room that was available and crawled to the bed. I wrapped myself in a blanket, staring at the ceiling. I could hear the chirping of the birds. Aside from that, everything was dead silent. Ella's words crawled right back into my mind and I shivered.

I wasn't sure if I still love him but I was sure I hated him enough to stay away from him. I wondered if Ella was right about me not being in my right state of mind. Why would they suddenly want me to find my mate?. Why are they suddenly interested in my mate?. Are they already doubting my ability to rule them?. My ability to find those who had attacked our pack and take revenge?

Do they now consider me as a weakling?. My dad had trained for all this year for this. He prevented me from having female friends except for Ella for a day like this. Have they suddenly forgotten how I heard fought so many times even at a tender age?. Have they forgotten I used to be the head of the warriors?. Why are they doubting my strength all of a sudden? Why do they think I needed a mate to rule them?.

I was furious thinking about all this. I haven't done anything to make them doubt me. I couldn't cry just to show them how brave I am. I decided to stay back here alone to put things in order, just for them to know I can rule them well. To let them know I've got this. I decided to visit the fire pack tomorrow to hear directly from their mouth what they want.

**

When I got to the fire pack, everywhere seems quiet. Except for the guards by the gate, no other person could be seen. When I asked the guards what was wrong, they told me the alpha, that is Nolan had called for a general meeting and all of them had gone to the general training ground. I wondered what his important announcement was that the had called the meeting himself. I asked if my pack members were at the meeting too since I had come from the mountain pack, here to see them.

When they told me he had called everyone to the meeting ground including my pack members, I rushed quickly to the meeting ground. I needed to know why he had summoned my pack members and his together. Luck on my side, I got there just when he wanted to start speaking. I found my way to the front. When he began, none of his words interest me. All I wanted was the meeting to end so I could ask him what right he has to summon my pack members. I also wanted to talk to my pack members too. I have decided to cancel my agreement with Nolan and return to the mountain pack. I was ready to fight my battle alone without his help.

His talks though they made some sense, they were getting too long and boring. Maybe to only me, I guess. I decided to leave the meeting ground and find a place to stay until the meeting is over. As I turned to leave, I heard him say he is the ruthless alpha. Everyone gasped and I turned quickly. He was holding his mask and Martin was standing close to him. All those that work with him as the ruthless alpha, was standing close to him too.

I blinked in surprise. Did he just say he is the ruthless alpha?. "I have been the ruthless alpha for a while now. And here is my mask. A sign of me being the ruthless alpha" he said and I watched him wear the mask.

I stared at Nigel to see his reaction. He was smiling. Ella and Bella don't seem surprised too. He must have told them. Maybe he told them he was going to tell the pack members who he is. I wondered why he has decided to accept being the ruthless alpha as his true self. "Is he accepting the ruthless alpha as his true self for a while or forever?" I asked myself.

As if hearing my thought, he answered. "I Nolan Chapman has agreed to accept being the ruthless alpha as my true self and is willing to accept Olivia, of the mountain pack as my true and only mate," he said, staring at me and I froze to a spot.