Chapter 20

Experiencing a death in the modern age is never easy.

It affects everyone differently, some can shoulder it and move on, others need to cry at least once over it, others even cry hard for a bit, then cry a little more each time the anniversary come around. Some simply move on, not being bothered by the death of a loved one.

James was the latter, death was... Unfamiliar to him, not that he didn't understand exactly. It just never brushed with him, never bothered him. He knew death would come, and even if some form of immortality was presented to him, then it would be sure. But death would come, so he never bothered worrying about it.

He helped those who needed it, helping them get through it in the ways he could do best, even if at times it was just being there to give them a shoulder or person to cry against or scream at.

He had no problems with death... It comes for everything.

How it comes, however, in its different forms is what he had a problem with.

At first, thinking even that was not his problem, but no it turned out to be a problem. A hellish one

James didn't have a good relationship with his parents or siblings, they tolerated each other and that was it. Even his siblings hated the parents, so when the parents passed, they got together to take what they wanted from the wills, and sell the rest. Split the earnings down the middle for the four of them.

But... James was married, happily so. They were going on 15 years, having married directly out of high school, they never fought at all, only small disagreements that didn't bother them.

Stupid arguments are sure just to amuse each other, small stupid ones. But when his wife was gone, he missed it all, even the small annoyances that came with her.

James wasn't attached to animals, and he didn't want children.

Whereas his wife shared his ideals on children, rather to just experience the cool aunt and uncle route with their friends, his wife adored animals in their entirety.

Even overcoming her fear of snakes so when she worked with them, she'd be able to love them as they deserve.

He didn't mind after all, since his wife only got a dog and cat, two dumb animals but god did they make her smile.

She already smiled a lot, but when it came to them, her posting video's of them running into walls or chasing their tails. Posting them to their friends so they could melt over them as well.

Her smile could brighten the darkest moments.

He didn't interact with them much, never really bothering himself other than taking care of them when his wife couldn't.

Taking out the dog in the middle of the night so it wasn't all leaning on her.

Just because he didn't care for them, doesn't mean he didn't care for her, helping them out was a small price to pay for loving her.

Then, it happened. She started to cough, at first, it was ruled as allergies which it was due to her asthma and being allergic to everything.

Taking medication and a few shots occasionally helped tremendously, but the coughing came back a few years down the row.

A lot worse.

After seeing the allergin doctor, they ruled it as her needing to see a general specialist as the tests he could take didn't show anything.

So they sought out another doctor, the general doctor told her to come in for a specialized test, the coughing fits were so bad at times it would cause her to stop just to catch her breath.

She went in for a lot of tests, and they learned it was cancer, lung cancer to be exact.

They got it early so it was treatable, so of course, they did. It showed some progress in getting better, but it was one night when he woke up in the middle of the night did it take a turn for the worst.

His wife woke up in the middle of the night and broke into such violent coughing fit it had him worried, when he went to check on her he found her crying against the toilet when he checked the toilet there was blood.

A lot of blood.

An emergency trip later and they learned the cancer had taken a turn for the worst.

They tried everything, but James got to watch as she got weaker and weaker, the coughing alone took more and more energy.

He hated every moment of it, wishing and preying with every bit of his being that he could take it away from her, even if just a little bit, wishing he could do more in something he had no control over.

He spent all the time he could with her, making it so he could work from home most of the time except for the rare times he had to visit for a meeting.

It was when he was coming home from one of those meetings did he start to feel something was wrong, so he hurried back home. It was when he parked in the driveway did he hear his wife's dog screaming his lungs out. He was trained better than this, he would never scream this loudly, no matter how active it was outside by other dogs, at most he would just do small growl-like woofs.

But hearing this, something he hadn't done since he was a puppy caused him to get out quickly. Leaving his car on and keys in the ignition.

When he got into the house he noticed nothing amiss when he entered the bedroom, she had gotten too weak to move a lot so she was usually in the bed, resting with her fort of pillows.

The dog was in his kennel, like always after a certain time, but it was when he noticed the cat also meowing as if his heart had been removed did he get worried.

He found his wife dead in the bed, a note she had finished a long time ago clenched in her hand.

When he lost her, it was hell. Never had he cried as much as he did as that night, her body clenched in his arms, only letting go when the ambulance grew slowly coaxed him to let go.

After she had passed, life had become dull, without light.

Almost like he couldn't see in color, the only times he felt somewhat okay is when he took care of two animals, his friends and his family he had tried their best, but they left him to his mourning.

There was a shift in this seeming vision of the past as it began to twist. His mind forgot he had just witnessed it all again, and it began a new. Each time growing worst, first, it was small things, her dying sooner, or one of the two animals she cared for dying because he did something wrong. It worsened her condition.

Then it got worse, friends and family passing as well, and it only continued to get worst.

It was during these moments of emotional hell that did more than just his hell continue, as the visions of watching the entirety of the Uchiha clan die, and then seeing his own parents killed for an endless amount of time did something finally clicked, a scream left him, enough emotions released at once to last him a life time as the world shattered around him.

As the scene calmed and he began to regain his ability to think within this dream world did he focus, recalling the memories of before he arrived in the naruto world.

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After a long time in his depressive state, did he slowly return to live his life again, life breathing back into his very being as he tried, she had always wanted him to continue to be happy even after her death.

He would never move on from her, as she would always have a place in his heart, and even now he could hear her scolding him for holding her so deeply.

He had lived his life though, enjoying it with his friends and family, moments he would forever remember as he slowly grew older, watching their families grow. Eventually, the animals passed away, and each of old aged as he grew older.

After so long, so many good memories, did he finally pass away. Not of old age, despite him having definitely been old when he finally passed away. No, he chose to pass away when he felt the best when he was still himself. When he could still enjoy the memories of his loved ones.

It took a long time to convince people to allow him to do it, but honestly when your in your late 70's, it's hard for the young people to argue with you. It wasn't until he traveled out of America did it become much easier to find someone willing to do it.

After he passed away, he woke up in the prime state of his body and health, sitting at a table with snacks and drinks that smelled divine, feeling a comfort he hadn't felt since he held his wife in his arms at night before they rested.

''You lived... a lovely life."

He looked up when he heard someone, across from him was a beautiful woman, her skin a warm tanned color and dark hair, her eyes held so much love in them, a love he could barely grasp himself.

"I..." He felt nothing that would warn him against this woman, he had already died once, and now of all moment he felt like he needed to hide nothing.

''I did, didn't I? There was some really rough times... But I enjoyed every good moment that came out of it."

The woman smiled, he was having troubles.

This woman felt like a mother to him, far more then a mother then he ever had to start with... He felt to this woman like he had live a life full of love for her.

''That comes with my title... I am 'Life' Goddess of all that is living... Goddes of all that is love, to me, you are another one of my many sons... I have so many, but I love you all so much, all of you having stories of your own.''

He nodded, feeling better about that. Was it weird he was talking to a Goddess? Maybe, but technically he was dead.

''If you're the Goddess of all things living... Can I... Can I ask?''

She smiled deeper, the snacks and drinks vanishing as she reached across the table to take his hand, her skin soft as she rubbed her hand over his knuckles and wrist. Such a small movement brought so much comfort.

''How she is doing? Of course you can... She has moved to her next life, and she is enjoying it to the fullest, everyday hoping that when you finally cross, so will you.''

''She kicked up a fuss, didn't she?"

The woman chuckled softly, nodding slowly. ''Yes she did, she argued she would wait here for all eternity if she had to... But that is not how it works I'm afraid."

He nodded, leaning back into the comfortable chair.

''Has she found love?"

She broke into a few giggles. ''Yes she has, her love of animals only so much stronger as she was reborn as a druid in a fantasy world... She fell in love with a fisherman.''

He smiled, his eyes closing as he relaxed. Not sure of how much time passed before he spoke.

''I thought it might be harder to accept the fact she's moved on but... It actually feels better she has."

Life smiled softly, still holding his hand. ''You are the few of my children who has been able to... Whereas I wish with all my ability you could stay together forever, you must move to your next life, in a different world. It is entirely random, but I promise you will enjoy it... It is only because of the many good deeds you did, and your ability to tough it through and enjoy your life not once, but twice in the same life am I able to let you cross with your memories.''

''Will I find love again?"

''Of course, you will... It will get easier as your transfer, your memories, and love of her will cycle into a new life. It will fade with time, and it might be hard at first... But I leave you with this information.''

When she spoke, it wasn't her voice, it was the voice of his wife. Like a recorded message, hearing her without the weakness, and in the strength of her prime brought him to silent tears.

''Live your best life James, just remember. Don't be so serious, and if you end up in the same world as Jason Momoa one day, lick his abs for me.''

He started to laugh, his tears quickly turning into happy tears as he broke into laughter, that was definitely the woman he loved.

After a few minutes did he relax once more, smiling. ''I'm ready.''

''You will gain memories of the world you live in, including the memories of the person you end up inhabiting... I wish you luck James, enjoy your life to the fullest..."

Just as the place around him began to darken, the last words he heard were.

''I hope you enjoy being able to be a ninja, to put your talents from another age to use."