Stupid System

Is this death? Why is it so dark?

Desmond thought while feeling floated in the darkness. The sensation was like drowning in the water without dying.

Where is my body? I can't feel anything.

He was startled when he heard a voice in his head.

[Welcome player, to the system of power]

"Wh-what? Who is it?" Desmond frantically asked hearing the monotonous and robotic voice.

[I'm your new integrated system]

"Integrated… system? What does that mean?"

[It means I'm your system, bozo]

"Wha-what? System? How could the system talk? Aren't the systems supposed to only show the status screen?"

[Oh… I'm not your normal system. I'm the special and more advanced version.]

"Like the system from web novels?"

[Not from the web novels, the real and better version]

"What better version? You seem like the same one as them."

[What? You're comparing me to the like of a fictional work. I'm already disappointed in you and now you're making it worse]

System's prideful voice rang through the darkness. Even though he has encountered so many bizarre things in his superhero life this is the first time he is encountering something like this

[What, you unhappy with what I said?]

"You're very… strange. Aren't systems supposed to help the holder and not berate them?"

[Yeah… no! We are not slaves of the holder and we are not here because you're chosen by any entity or something… I mean technically you're chosen by someone but it doesn't matter what matters is that you're a big loser.]

"Why the fuck are you so annoying. Can I change my system? Hello…" He called out loudly. "Can I change this shitty system with something good?"

His voice was only met with the snickering of the system.

[LO LO LOL. Good luck with that, bozo. Nobody is going to hear anything at all. Especially since you're now in the void]

"Void? What's that? And who is the one who chose me?

[I can't answer all the questions but what can I answer is that the Void is a place between the afterworld and the living world]

[After world and living world? Like before and after death?" He confusedly asked. Even though this was bizarre and the system was rude, he was glad there was someone he can talk to in this endless darkness and loneliness.

[Yes. Something like that.]

"I see. So, I'm not dead."

[Yes and No]

Desmond furrowed his brows when he heard the answer.

"So will I live again? Like, reincarnate into another world with the cool system or something."

[Yes.]

"I will have my own super cool leveling system…"

[Yes]

"I will defeat the greatest threat present there…" His voice gets excited and excited by each passing moment.

[Yes]

"Then I'll have all the girls added to my harem…"

[Yes]

"SO. FUCKING. COOL!" He danced in his mind since he can't control nor feel his body. 'This is it. My breakthrough from this violent and fucking world.'

[Exciting, isn't it?]

"Yes! And system, you're really the best system out there." He joyfully spoke.

[HA ha. Thank you for your praise, host but I've to pop the cherry though]

"What cherry?"

[The things that you envisioned just right now; about the reincarnation and the harem…]

"Yes, what about it?"

[That ain't gonna happen, fucker. Your pip dream about leaving this world is just a … dream. You're not going anywhere.]

"Wh- what? You bullshit system. What are you even doing here if I'm not going to reincarnate?" He was angry at the useless system that made all of the horny teen's dreams seem to come true and then shatter them.

[You're going back in time… to your world. But fear not. You will not be alone for I, be with you… always]

"Oh… that is my biggest concern and what do you mean "Back in time.?"

[It's just as I said. You'll be transferred to some point in your life and start from there.]

"Isn't turning the time more harder than reincarnation? I mean, in reincarnation, I'll be the only one to have any effect but on turning time, the people of that entire world would be affected by it." He confusedly asked.

[You've read so many idiotic novels, idiot.] System disappointedly said.

"What do you mean by that? and stop calling me 'idiot,' I have a name, you know?"

[All right, listen well, idi—Desmond] Desmond got really attentive after hearing the system's seriousness.

[You already are someone from this world, someone who has etched his presence in this world from a very young age. So in regression, you won't have that much problem in the celestial world but if you were to reincarnate into an unknown world, you will be an anomaly there. A variable. The complete fate of that world can be changed by you, triggering unknown events with your presence that can destroy that world and the beings in it.]

Desmond was at a loss for words at the revelation. What the system just said made sense. After all, being a variable can trigger some unexpected events anywhere. He knows it very much too. Almost too personally.

Home Bringer was an anomaly. That guy was closer to a god than men. Which also brought so many problems with him. The crime rate of the world before his arrival was relatively low but after his arrival, the crime rate jumped to an all-time high which was a problem, faced by the entire world.

"I see… So why am I the one who should go back? I mean, why me? And what is this celestial world?" After some time, he squeezed his words out.

[You're selected for various reasons that I cannot speak. The same goes with the celestial world but know this you may not be the only one who might regress.]

"Wait… there are others like me?" He was getting a bad feeling from this.

[Yes, that is correct. It is not known if some of them have already regressed but I'm sure I may not be the only one who was assigned for the regression]

"Wait a minute, I don't know why I'm regressing nor do I know anything about you or your celestial world. I don't even know about the other regressors. Shit! What the fuck am I even supposed to do?" He vents out his frustration.

[Live! Live the life you chose to live. That is all I can say right now. Make use of the future knowledge you have. You'll know your purpose in time.]

"Oh… you really are a shitty system, aren't you?"

[Fuck you!] Throughout the entire conversation with the system, this was the only time Desmond was able to feel any emotion coming from the system.

"Ha ha ha…" He laughed. It was a genuine laugh. Something he hasn't done for the past few years. He was glad at least someone was with him and he was glad to piss off the shitty system.

"So, are we just going to sit here and exchange vulgar words or are we going to fuck some superheroes?" He wiped the tiny little droplet of tears from his eye. Unknown to him, he was feeling his body just fine and he wasn't floating, he was just suspended in the air. "Whoa, I could move."

[Very well. Prepare for the regression, Desmond]

"Hey system… what should I call you?" He asked.

[Whatever you want]

"Oh… whatever I want, you say?" A sinister smile crawled through his face. If someone from his world was to see this, they would've immediately attacked him thinking he was some idiot villain.

"Very well, since you gave me permission, I would like to change your name to 'Gonorrhea."

[Very wel—what?]

"I said, I like to change your name to 'Gonorrhea."

[… Ar-are you sure, Desmond?] The system's robotic voice again faltered.

"Oh yeah, haven't been so sure about anything else." He happily replied. He was enjoying humiliating the system very much.

[… Very well. Name changing to 'Gonorrhea.']

[Are you sure about it, host]

"Yes."

[100 percent sure, host?]

"Yes! 100 percent sure."

[Y/N]

His eye twitched with annoyance. "System… I'm one hundred percent sure about it. Just change it. don't ask anything else and just change."

There was a moment of silence before the system replied.

[Name changed successfully…]

"All right, let's go back to my home." He clasped his hands together and smacked his lips.

[…Alright. Setting destination.]

[Complete]

[setting time. Random.]

[complete]

"Oi, why time is random. Can't you pinpoint the time I want?"

[…Fuck you and please enjoy the moment, Desmond]

"What!? What are you plotti…"

His sound trailed off as a whirlwind of suction force sucked him through the eternal darkness.

Desmond was feeling very light-minded. He wasn't feeling really good, and though he wanted to curse the damn system, he wasn't able to do that since he can't even think properly.

All of it ended suddenly and he jerked to the front. Bright light entered through his eye. He shut them close. He could feel he was falling but suddenly something grabbed him by the stomach. He could feel it.

Have I traveled back in time like that stupid system said?

"Easy there. Are you feeling alright?" A familiar sound entered his ears. He knows that sound too well. He crooked his head at the sound. He was just like remembered. Though slightly young but still the very same.

"Thank you, John. I just felt…" His eye wandered to the place or the cemetery. It settled on a coffin in front of him which had an inscription on it;

GRAHAM SHEPHEARD

1970 – 2022

Forever be in hearts.

'No, no, no… not this day.'

His first day back seems to be already drenched with sorrow just like the stupid system said.