4. Chapter 4

The week leading up to Christmas was a little bit rough in the Bishop-Deluca household because the twins brought home a nasty stomach virus that they kindly shared with Carina as well, Maya somehow dodging it even though she spent four days taking care of her family while they were sick.

It was never easy being sick, but it was even harder this time because for Carina, the feeling of nausea brought her back to her radiation treatments and the emotions of that time which made being sick even harder. She had had a bit of a mental breakdown because of it, and it reminded Maya of how helpless she felt during that time as well as she tried to help her through it.

Luckily, by Christmas Eve, everyone was feeling much better. Carina had really scored this year and had both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off, while Maya had to work on Christmas Eve until about 5.

However, Carina planned to bring the twins to the station for a few hours in the morning because the station had some activities for the community like cookie decorating, some winter themed games, a hot chocolate bar, a Santa for kids to take photos with, and toys to hand out to any kids that came through.

They had planned to take the twins to meet Santa, or Babbo Natale as they almost always referred to him as, but with the stomach virus, their plans didn't happen so both Maya and Carina were excited that the girls would get a chance to meet the person they talked about almost non-stop at this point.

Maya had to be at the station early that morning to help set up for the event so she was out the door just as her girls were waking up, everyone sleeping in a little bit as they shook off the last of their illness. She kissed and hugged them all before going to the station, leaving Carina alone with the twins.

"Mamma, when is it Natale?" Rowan asked as they cuddled in bed along with Nora.

"Tomorrow," Carina said, smiling as Rowan and Nora's eye's both got wide.

"Tomowow?" Rowan squealed, "Rweally?"

"Si," Carina laughed, "Tomorrow. But today, we get to go to the station and see Mommy and Babbo Natale."

"And Unca T?" Nora asked, looking at Carina.

"Si," Carina nodded, brushing a piece of brown hair off Nora's face.

"And Auntie Bic?" Rowan asked, "And Unca Dean and Tia Dandy and Ronnie and Yuca and Pwu and everybody?"

"Si," Carina laughed, "They will all be there. Now, are you two ready to get up for the day and go have some breakfast?"

"Si," Rowan said as Nora nodded, the little brunette always taking longer than her sister to really be awake and ready for the morning.

In some ways, it reminded Carina so much of Maya because while the blonde was up early every day, it took her a while to be ready to actually talk to anyone. Usually by the time she was back from her run, she had been awake long enough to be ready for social interactions. Carina got up, carrying Nora while Rowan walked down the stairs on her own.

Once breakfast was made and eaten, Carina took the twins upstairs to get dressed to go to the station.

Carina and Maya didn't really care about special occasion dresses for the girls, but they did like to give them options and Nora had been enjoying dresses a lot lately so Carina had picked up a few nicer dresses for her to wear if and when she wanted to. Rowan was very against dresses at the moment and only wanted pants or jumpsuits.

They also really only bought neutral colors for the girls in muted tones, though they were slowly starting to have opinions about what they wore in terms of colors as well.

Carina had bought a red dress with smocking around the collar that included Santa and while it wasn't quite the normal style of clothes they bought, but Nora was absolutely in love with it and it was what she picked to wear today.

She has also found a vintage looking Santa on a sweatshirt that she bought for both girls because of their love of Babbo Natale right now and that was what Rowan picked to wear along with a pair of red leggings.

They looked very cute in their outfits, Carina braiding Rowan's hair into two braids while pulling half of Nora's curls up, leaving the other half handing down. She also allowed the twins to help her pick out her clothes for the day, which ended up being a pair of jeans and a sweater she had bought for an ugly Christmas sweater party a few years prior that Maya insisted was too cute to be ugly.

Once everyone was ready, Carina got the twins into the car and headed to the station, Rowan complaining again that her "yegs were quished" in the car. The girls were at the age where they would be able to turn their car seats around, but Maya and Carina had been putting it off because it was safer for them to ride rear facing as long as possible. However, with Rowan's constant complaints, Carina made a mental note to ask Maya, who was a certified car seat technician, to turn them around soon.

They got to the station, the twins practically jumping out of their seats to get into the building they had been coming to since they were tiny.

"Bambine, you need to slow down and hold my hands," Carina said as the twins were about to run, "There are going to be a lot of people here today, not just your aunties and uncles so you cannot just run around with me or Mommy or someone with you, ok?"

"Otay," both girls said, holding Carina's hands.

The Italian knew that Nora would be glued to either her, Maya, or Travis all day but that Rowan would likely be a bit more difficult to keep track of. The tiny blonde seemed to think she owned the station most of the time and was in constant motion, much like her mommy. Carina walked into the station, smiling at the Christmas and just general winter décor that filled the lobby.

"Welcome to Station 19 we…oh, hey Carina," Vic said, realizing who had just walked in.

"Auntie Bic," Rowan and Nora both said, each attaching to one of Vic's legs.

"Hmmm," Vic said, "Is there something on my legs?"

She took a step, both girls laughing hysterically. This was one part of being around a lot of firefighters that the twins had recently discovered. They loved clinging onto people's legs and being carried around like that. They had tried it with Carina before and also Amelia and Teddy and had been severely disappointed when their mamma and her friends were unable to carry them around on their legs.

"Ok Bambine," Carina laughed, "Should we go find Mommy?"

"Si," both girls said, detaching themselves from their aunt's legs.

"I think she is in the barn helping with activities," Vic said, noticing another group coming in and going to greet them. Rowan went to run toward the barn.

"Rowan," Carina said, "What did I say?"

"No wunning," Rowan said, "Sowwy, Mamma."

"It's ok," Carina said, as Rowan walked back over to her, "Thank you for listening."

The three of them walked into the barn, finding Maya standing at the entrance.

"Mommy," the girls said, running into her arms as she bent down, hugging both of them tightly.

"You both have such cute clothes on today," Maya said, smiling at them, "Did you have a good morning with Mamma?"

"Si," Rowan said as Nora played with the bugles on Maya's collar, "Yook, it's Babbo Natale on my shirtshirt."

"I see," Maya smiled, "It is very cute."

"Me too," Nora said, pointing to her collar, "I got Babbo Natale too. And Mommy, you have a Babbo Natale hat."

"That's true," Maya said, adjusting the Santa hat that was on her head, something Andy insisted they wear for this even, "Guess what? Babbo Natale is here."

"Rweally?" Rowan said, eyes wide.

"Si," Maya said, "In Tia Andy's office."

"Tan we do see him?" Nora asked.

"Sure," Maya said, standing up, "Hey Barnes, can you come do greeting for a while. I won't be long."

"Of course," the firefighter said, coming over and taking Maya's place as the Bishop-Deluca's exited the barn.

"Are you going to go see Santa?" Vic said, looking at the twins.

"Si," Nora said as both she and Rowan nodded.

"Don't forget to tell him what you want for Christmas," Vic said, smiling at them as they walked into the office.

By the window, they had set up a chair and a cute backdrop and some presents placed around the area. They had one of the retired firefighters who volunteered to come be Santa today. There was another family in there taking a picture with Santa, the station's newest probie having gotten assigned to take the pictures today.

"Hey Keller," Maya said, smiling as the other family finished and left the room.

"Chief Bishop-Deluca," the young man said, "Hello. And Dr. Bishop-Deluca. And hi Nora and Rowan. Are you ready to go meet Santa?"

"Hohoho," the man sitting on the chair said, "Do you want to come sit on my lap?"

Rowan ran over to him, but Nora just stared.

"Do you want to come over here?" Santa asked, starting to walk over to Nora only to have the little girl scream and cling as tightly as she could to Maya's pants, sobbing and saying no over and over again.

"Sorry," the Santa said, clearly feeling bad as he immediately moved back.

"It's ok," Maya said as she picked Nora up, "Really. Car, I am going to take her up to my office?"

"Ok," Carina nodded, feeling so bad that Nora was so scared.

"Why's Noa trying?" Maya heard Rowan ask as she left the room.

"Is everything ok?" Vic asked as Maya walked back into the lobby.

"Some isn't as big of a fan of Santa as she thought," Maya said, rubbing the toddler's back as she cried, "We are going to go up to my office."

Vic nodded, frowning a little as Maya walked up the stairs. She went into her office and then her bunk, sitting down on the bed with Nora.

"It's ok Piccola," Maya said, rubbing Nora's back, "I am right here."

"No Babbo Natale," Nora whimpered, "No mo."

"No," Maya said, "No more Babbo Natale. We don't have to see him anymore, ok? We are in my office and he isn't here. It's just you and me, just Mommy and Nora, ok?"

"No Babbo Natale," Nora said, picking her head up off Maya's shoulder, looking around.

"No," Maya said, grabbing a tissue, "No Babbo Natale."

"Ok," Nora said, calming down, "I no yike dat Babbo Natale. He's tarry."

"That's ok," Maya said, "I am right here. It's ok to be scared. But I am here to protect you and Mamma too, ok?"

Nora nodded, sniffling a little bit.

"Do you want to go back to the party?" Maya asked, rubbing Nora's back.

"Not yet," Nora said, shaking her head as she laid her head on Maya's chest, just cuddling there.

"Ok," Maya said, just sitting there with her oldest, pressing kissed to the top of her hair.

About five minutes later, there was a knock at the door, Nora stiffening for a second before the door opened.

"Bambina," Carina called, "Piccola?"

"Mamma," Nora said, looking at Maya.

"In here," Maya called, nodding at Nora.

"Hey," Carina said, coming into the room, "Is everything ok?"

"I think so," Maya nodded as Nora reached for Carina, the Italian taking her in her arms, "Someone just doesn't like that Santa as much as she thought she would."

"I don't yike dat Babbo Natale," Nora said with a grumpy face."

"That's ok," Carina said, chuckling a little, "Did Mommy help you feel better?"

Nora nodded, smiling at Maya.

"We just sat here and cuddled," Maya said, standing up and walking over to her wife and daughter.

"Mommy gives the best cuddles, huh?" Carina said, looking at Nora who nodded.

"Mamma gives pretty amazing cuddles too," Maya said as Carina wrapped her arm around her wife, "Now, should we go back to the party? Maybe go find a certain uncle?"

"Unca T?" Nora said, eyes wide, "Yet's go find him."

Carina laughed as Nora wiggled out of her arms, heading toward the door, waiting for Maya or Carina to come with her.

"Where is Rowan?" Maya asked as the three of them walked out of the office.

"Andy's cousin brought Ronnie and Luca just as we were walking out and Rowan wanted to go play with them," Carina said, "Michelle offered to take her. I figured I would go find them once I checked on Nora."

"I'll go," Maya said, "Travis is in the beanery. Go take Nora in there. I am supposed to be helping in the barn anyways."

"Aren't you the boss?" Carina said, "Don't you get to decide what you do?"

"I do," Maya nodded, "And I decided I would be in the barn today."

Carina laughed, giving her wife a quick kiss before going into the beanery with Nora.

"Unca T," Nora said, seeing one of her most favorite people ever, "Hi."

"Hi Bean," Travis said, stopping what he was doing and bending down as she ran into his arms, "How are you?"

"I don't yike dat Babbo Natale," Nora said very seriously.

"She isn't the biggest fan of the Santa that is here today," Carina explained, "But that's ok, right? We don't have to see him anymore."

"Si," Nora nodded, giving Travis another hug, "I missed you Unca T."

"I missed you too Bean," Travis said, "Mommy said you weren't feeling too well last week."

"I growed up," Nora said, nodding, "But I'm all bedder now. No more ick tummy."

"Good," Travis said, tickling her stomach a little, "Because I don't like when my bean is sick."

"Hi Aunt Carina," Pru said, the seven-year-old coming over to the Italian.

"Hi Pru," Carina said, giving the little girl a hug, "I like your shirt."

"Thanks," Pru said, showing Carina her sweater that had snowflakes all over it and glitter sprinkled on it too, "My Auntie Yemi got it for me."

"It is beautiful," Carina said, "Are you having fun today?"

"Yeah," Pru said, nodding, "I am helping Uncle Travis with the cookie decorating station."

"That's fun," Carina smiled, knowing that Pru loved helping with anything and everything around the station.

"Oh, wait, I have to go," Pru said, seeing another family walking into the beanery, going over to them.

Pru was such a social little girl and Carina smiled as she watched her take the hands of the two kids who had just walked in with their parents, guiding them over to an empty spot on the table before going over to Travis.

"Here, I can take her," Carina said, reaching for Nora.

"No," Nora said, shaking her head as she held onto Travis.

"She can help me," Travis said, handing Nora a bowl of frosting, "Nora, can you carry this for me to give to the people at the table?"

Nora nodded, holding the bowl with two hands. Carina smiled as she watched Travis, Nora, and Pru all bringing the items to the people who had just sat down at the table.

"I'm helpin Unca T Mamma," Nora said, smiling a toothy smile, "You go find Mommy and Owan."

"Wow, ok," Carina said, looking at Nora, "I think I should probably stay to help Zio Travis."

"No Mamma," Nora said, "He's my Unca T. You go find Mommy."

"I am fine here with them if you want to go check in with Maya and Rowan," Travis said quietly as he walked over to Carina, "I mean, you can stay up here if you want to, but we will be ok."

"Ok," Carina agreed, "I will go check on them and then come back up."

"Sounds good," Travis nodded as Pru walked over to the next group of people who walked into the station.

Carina made her way downstairs, finding the barn even more busy than it was earlier. Luckily, her wife was easy to find and Carina walked over to the engine where Maya was standing by the door to help kids get in and out.

"Hi Bambina," Carina said, wrapping her arms around her wife.

"Hey," Maya said, turning around to face Carina, "Where's Nora?"

"She's upstairs with Travis helping with cookie decorating," Carina said, "She told me to go hang out with you and Rowan because she was good with Travis."

"That girl and her Unca T," Maya said, shaking her head with a chuckle, "Well, Rowan is over there with Andy and Ronnie playing bozo buckets."

"What?" Carina said, confused.

"The game where you throw the balls into the buckets," Maya said, helping another kid down from the engine, "It was on a kid's TV show that was on forever. I don't know."

"Ok," Carina said, shrugging, "Well, I am going to go check on her."

"Sounds good," Maya said, nodding as she stopped a kid from falling down the steps of the engine.

"Hey," Carina said, walking over to where Rowan was playing.

"Hi Mamma," Rowan said, tossing a ball at the buckets, frowning when she missed.

"It's ok Patatina," Carina said, crouching down next to her, "You can try again. It's ok to miss."

Rowan nodded as Carina stood back up, the toddler missing the bucket again.

"Hello Andy," Carina said, smiling at the captain as she turned to look at her.

"Hey," she said, "How are you?"

"Fine," Carina said, "Much better than we were a week ago."

"I heard," Andy said, shaking her head, "Those daycare bugs are evil."

"Si," Carina nodded in agreement, "But we are better now. How are you?"

"Good," Andy said, "Luca is bursting at the seams for Christmas this year, and Ronnie is pretty excited too."

"Oh, so are Rowan and Nora," Carina agreed, "Though Nora was completely freaked out by Santa here so I'm not sure how excited she is now."

"Oh no," Andy said, "Luca was terrified Santa until this year I think. Ronnie though, that girl has absolutely no fear."

Just then, they heard a commotion coming from the game.

"I tan't do it," Rowan cried, kicking over the bucket and throwing the ball.

"Ok," Carina said, kneeling down next to her daughter whose face was red, little arms crossed and an angry scowl on her face, "Patatina, that is not how we act. What's wrong?"

"I tan't do it," Rowan said again, though this time, tears started filling her eyes, "I tan't get da ball in da tucket."

"That's ok," Carina said, noticing Maya coming over to them, shaking her head to let her wife know she had it handled, "You are trying. You have never played this game before and it will take time to learn. It's ok. Let's come over here and take some deep breaths ok?"

Rowan nodded, following Carina into the turnout room.

"Ok," Carina said, "Now, are you ready to take some breaths or not yet?"

Rowan nodded, Carina kneeling down and helping her take some deep breaths, the toddler calming down quickly.

"Good job," Carina praised, "Now, it is ok to get angry. I get angry, Mommy gets angry, everyone feels angry sometimes. But, it is not ok to throw things or kick over toys because it can hurt other people and make it hard for them to have fun. Do you understand?"

"Si," Rowan nodded, sniffling a little bit, "I'm sowwy I ticked da tucket and frew da ball."

"That's ok," Carina said, "Now, I think you need to go help clean up the bucket and tell Anderson you are sorry because he was running the game, ok?"

"Tan you tome wif me?" Rowan asked, biting her lip.

"Of course, Patatina," Carina nodded, "I'll be right here."

Rowan took another deep breath, before taking Carina's hand and walking out of the turnout room and over to Anderson, the game already righted and other kids playing.

"Da tucket is all ok," Rowan said, looking up at Carina.

"Si," Carina said, "But you still need to go apologize to Anderson, ok?"

Rowan nodded, holding tightly to Carina's hand as they walked over.

"I'm sowwy I ticked the tucket," Rowan said, looking up at Anderson.

"It's ok Rowan," Anderson said, crouching down, "I know the game is hard. Do you want another turn? I can help you. Or Mamma can."

"Mamma," Rowan said, backing up into Carina, grabbing her hand with both of her hands.

"Ok," Anderson said, nodding at Carina.

"Thank you," Carina said to him, earning her a smile.

"Mamma, tan you help?" Rowan asked as she stepped up to take her turn.

"Of course," Carina said, crouching down and helping her throw the first ball, the two of them missing, "It's ok. Let's try again."

The picked up the second ball and managed to throw it into a bucket, much to Carina's surprise because she was usually terrible at these kinds of games.

"We did it Mamma," Rowan said, eyes wide as she turned and hugged her.

"We did," Carina said, hugging the toddler back, "I am so proud of you for trying again."

"Here you go," Anderson said, giving Rowan a sticker, "Good job."

Rowan took the sticker, bolting across the barn toward Maya, Carina chasing after her.

"Patatina, you cannot just run around the station today," Carina said as she caught up to her.

"I was going to Mommy," Rowan said, pointing to Maya.

"You still cannot run," Carina said, "There are too many people here and you or someone else could get hurt."

"Otay," Rowan said, "But now tan I show Mommy?"

"Si," Carina nodded, walking over to Maya with Rowan.

"Mommy, yook," Rowan said, holding up her sticker that looked like a pair of turnouts, "Just yike you."

"I see," Maya said, picking Rowan up, "That's so cool."

"Tan I go in da endine?" Rowan asked.

"Sure," Maya said, "Uncle Dean is in there."

"Ok," Rowan said as Maya helped her up the steps.

The girls played in all the trucks often when they came to visit, but at almost three, those trucks were the coolest things ever.

"Is she ok?" Maya asked, having seen Carina take Rowan into the turnout room.

"Si," Carina said, "She just got frustrated she couldn't get the ball into the buckets. But we went and calmed her down and she's ok. We took care of it."

Maya hummed, brow furrowing and Carina knew what she was thinking about.

"Bambina, hey, it is not a bad thing," Carina said, "I love that she has your determination and drive and desire to always do well, and we will help her to learn to use it to find whatever success she wants but also, we will be there to teach her how to fail well and to not be too hard on herself when things don't go as planned. I know you had such a hard time with those attributes in yourself growing up, but that is because Lane took advantage of them and weaponized them against you. We will not do that to Rowan. We will guide her and nurture her and make sure she has all the best support she needs."

"How do you always know exactly what to say?" Maya asked, crashing into Carina's chest for a hug, feeling very needy in that moment.

"Because I know you," Carina said, rubbing her wife's back, "And I love you."

"Mommy," they heard just then, Maya turning and seeing Rowan standing at the steps of the engine, Maya opening her arms as Rowan jumped into them.

"Was it fun?" Maya asked, squeezing Rowan a little tighter than normal.

"Si," Rowan said, "But Unca Dean didn't yet me do the yights or the wee woo."

"You can come visit another day when there aren't so many people here and I will let you play with the lights and sirens," Maya said, kissing Rowan's cheek.

"Mamma, where's Noa?" Rowan asked.

"She's upstairs with Zio Travis, helping him and Pru with the cookie station."

"Can we do dat too?" Rowan asked.

"Sure," Carina said, "Let's go."

"I'll see if I can sneak away and join you guys soon," Maya said as Rowan got down from her arms.

Carina and Rowan walked upstairs, Carina holding her hand as they walked into the beanery.

"Hi again Auntie Carina," Pru said, coming over to them, "Hi Rowan."

"Hi Pwu," Rowan said, letting go of Carina's hand and giving her cousin a hug.

"Mamma," Nora said, running over to them, "I'm helpin Unca T and the people wif the tookies."

"You are?" Carina said, smiling at her, "That's so nice."

"Hey Carina," Travis said, coming over to her, "Hey Bug."

"Hi Unca T," Rowan said, hugging him too, "Tan I mate a tookie?"

"Of course," Travis said, guiding her over to the table with Carina.

Maya eventually joined them, all of them staying in the beanery for the rest of the morning, helping with the cookie decorating. The community left and Miranda Bailey along with Tuck and Joey, brought in lunch for the station so they could enjoy a Christmas Eve lunch together. Carina and the twins stayed for lunch before the Italian took them home for their nap.

While they were sleeping, Carina got things ready for the evening. They had a tradition of giving the twins a box on Christmas Eve that had pajamas, a Christmas movie, a Christmas book, and special snacks for during the movie. Carina got those boxes wrapped while the twins napped and also made sure everything was cleaned up in the living room. She also made lasagna which had been a Christmas Eve tradition in the Deluca house when Carina was growing up.

By the time all of that was done, she heard the pitter patter of little feet coming downstairs.

"Hi Mamma," a sleepy Rowan said, coming into the kitchen.

"Hi Patatina," Carina said, picking her up, "Did you have a good nap?"

Rowan nodded as she snuggled into Carina. The Italian went into the living room, sitting down on the couch with her, just allowing Rowan to wake up a little bit.

"What's dat?" Rowan said, pointing under the tree.

"Those are presents for you and your sister," Carina said, "You can open them after dinner."

"How about now?" Rowan said.

"How about after dinner?" Carina countered, earning her a frown from her daughter.

"How about we go play with play doh?" Carina suggested, knowing that was something Rowan loved that she didn't get to do often.

"Otay," Rowan said, following Carina into the kitchen.

About twenty minutes later, Nora also came downstairs. This wasn't uncommon for her to stay in bed, even after she was awake for an hour, just to let herself wake up. She would sometimes look at books or play with her toys, but she liked her time alone when she woke up.

Once Nora was awake, Carina decided to bake some cookies with the twins. She had meant to do it earlier than Christmas Eve, but between work and being sick, she had been too tired for most of the past week. She was a little tired this afternoon as well, but she knew the twins would insist on putting out cookies for Babbo Natale tonight, and she was not about to say no. They made a torcetti which Carina always made with her Nonna around Christmas, the girls enjoying helping Carina twist the cookies. They set them aside to rise, Carina pulling out markers and paper to let the girls draw while she cleaned up.

Around 4:30, Carina put the lasagna in the oven and started getting everything ready for dinner.

A little after five, the door opened.

"Mommy," Rowan and Nora said, jumping down from their seats.

"Hi Patatina," Maya said as she took off her shoes, "Hi Piccola."

"Dere's pwesents unda da twee," Rowan said, grabbing Maya's hand and dragging her toward the tree.

"I see," Maya said, laughing a little bit. "Mamma said we tan't have dem til afta dinna," Rowan sighed. "That's not in that long," Maya said as Carina walked over to her, "Hey Babe." "Hi," Carina said, giving her a small kiss, "How was the rest of your day?"

"It was good," Maya said, "I mostly just did paperwork I got behind on last week. How was your afternoon?"

"It was normal," Carina said, "I just put them down and then got ready for tonight and then they got up and we played with play doh and markers."

"That sounds like fun," Maya said, giving Carina a kiss.

"Si," Carina nodded, "Dinner is almost ready."

"Ok," Maya said, grabbing her work bag, "I am going to go upstairs and put my stuff away and then I'll come help."

Carina nodded as Maya went upstairs.

"Bambine, it is time to put away your markers please," Carina said as she checked on the lasagna, seeing it was just about done.

"But we need to do colors for Babbo Natale," Rowan said.

"Ok, I am going to set this five-minute timer," Carina said, grabbing a sand timer Maya had bought to help in situations like this, "When it runs out, it is time to clean up, ok? So finish up your pictures."

"Otay," Nora nodded as she looked at her markers, picking up a purple one, little tongue sticking out of her mouth as she concentrated on her drawing.

Carina was always impressed with how well the twins held their markers, neither of them ever really going through the whole fist holding stage.

By the time Maya came back downstairs, Nora was done with her picture and Rowan was almost there.

"Yook Mommy," Nora said, holding up the paper, "I maked dis for Babbo Natale."

"It's so nice," Maya smiled, "I'm glad you drew him a picture. Are you not scared of him anymore?"

"I dust don't wanna see him," Nora reasoned, "He yooks tarry."

"I see," Maya chuckled, "Well, we can put this out tonight."

"Wif the tookies," Rowan said, capping her marker.

"Yeah, we maked tookies too," Nora said, grabbing Maya's arm and dragging her over to where the cookies were rising.

"Wow, you guys were busy this afternoon," Maya said, picking Nora up.

"Si," Carina laughed, pulling the lasagna out of the oven, "But now, they have to clean up their mess."

"You heard Mamma," Maya said, putting Nora down," Go clean up."

"Otay," Nora said, going over to the table while Maya went to help her wife.

"What do you need me to do?" the blonde asked, inhaling deeply as she smelled the lasagna, "Damn, that smells so good."

"Grazie," Carina smiled, "Um, I think we just need the table set. I made a salad to go with the lasagna, but that is ready."

"You are amazing," Maya said, leaning in and giving her wife a kiss.

Maya went over to the table, encouraging the twins to clean up their markers which they were doing well. Once the table was cleaned off, Maya sent the twins to wash their hands while she cleaned the table and got it set for dinner. It didn't take long for dinner to be on the table and the whole family to be sitting around it, eating and talking together.

Once dinner was over, Maya went to clean the kitchen, Carina popping the cookies into the oven to bake before going to find the twins.

"It's afta dinna," Rowan said as Carina walked into the living room, "Tan we open our pwesents now?"

"Let's let Mommy finish cleaning up the kitchen," Carina said, "Why don't you go get a book and I will read to you while we wait."

"I don't yike waiting," Nora sighed, crawling up into Carina's lap while Rowan went to get a book."

"I know," Carina said, "But it is just a little wait, ok?"

Nora nodded, putting her fingers in her mouth as Rowan came back with a Gerald and Piggy book.

Just as Carina finished reading it, Maya walked into the living room.

"Mommy's done," Rowan said, looking over at her, "Now pwesents?"

"Ok," Maya said after looking at Carina and getting a confirmation nod from her, "Let's open them."

They all sat down on the floor, Maya giving Nora and Rowan their boxes while also handing one to Carina.

"What is this Bambina?" Carina said, clearly confused.

"Something I got for you," Maya shrugged.

"I didn't get you anything," Carina said, feeling bad.

"That's ok," Maya said, "Go ahead girls."

Nora and Rowan tore into their boxes, squealing when they saw the pajamas and other treats inside.

"A mobie?" Nora said, holding up the DVD case.

"Si," Carina nodded, "That is a movie Zio Andrea and I used to watch at Christmas time when I would come visit him and Nonna for Christmas."

It was Frosty the Snowman which was one of Andrea's absolute favorite Christmas movies after he moved to the US. He had made Carina watch it probably 5 times that first Christmas he had spent in the US when she had come to visit. She still wasn't great with her English at that point, but she had learned some from that movie and it made her happy that her brother was so happy.

Carina had actually pulled it out when Mamma had died, even though it had been April, because she had been desperate to see Andrea smile again. It had worked, and it became a bit of a tradition what when one of them was going through something, they would watch Frosty the Snowman together.

Carina was a little surprised actually that she hadn't gotten it for the girls earlier, but with them being almost 3, she felt it was a good time to introduce it to them.

"I have a mobie too," Rowan said, holding up her DVD, "Wif Babbo Natale, but he's dreen."

"That's the Grinch," Maya said, laughing.

"Yook," Nora said, "Tandy and poptorno."

"And a book and jammies," Rowan said, holding up her Christmas pjs that were blue with Santa and candy canes on them.

"That's right," Carina said, "We can put on jammies and eat popcorn and candy if you want."

"That doesn't sound like something Nora and Rowan would like to do," Maya said, shaking her head, "I bet they just want to go to bed."

"No," Rowan said, standing up, "No, mobies and poptorno."

"No bed," Nora also said, "Yet's watch da snowman."

"What do you think Mamma?" Maya said, looking over at Carina.

"I think that sounds like a great plan," Carina said, laughing.

"Ok," Maya said, looking at the twins, "Then let's get your jammies on."

"Wait," Rowan said, "Mamma, you have a pwesent too."

"Oh yeah," Carina said, picking up the box, "Bambina, what is this?"

"Just open it," Maya said, helping Nora stay steady as she took off her clothes.

"Fine," Carina said, peeling back the paper, "You really didn't need to do this."

Maya just shrugged, watching her wife open her present.

"Wait," Carina said, pulling back the tissue paper, "What are these?"

"Dey yook yike mine," Rowan said, picking up the pajamas, "And tandy for you too Mamma."

"Bambina, what did you do?" Carina said, taking out the pajamas.

"I thought we could all match," Maya shrugged, "I don't know. I know you have looked at the adult versions of the pajamas we get for the girls every year, but we never get them and you always think they are so cute so I thought we should do that this year."

"But what about you?" Carina asked.

"Oh, I have some upstairs," Maya said.

"We are going to be the family in the matching Christmas pajamas," Carina said, laughing.

"Yep," Maya nodded, smiling.

"I love it," Carina said, looking back in the box, "And is this Italian hot chocolate?"

"It is," Maya nodded, "From the coffee shop down by the Sound."

"Oh, they have the best mix outside of Italy," Carina said, groaning a little bit.

"I know," Maya said.

"Grazie," Carina said, leaning over and giving Maya a small kiss.

Just then, the timer for the cookies went off, Carina getting up and going into the kitchen while Maya helped make sure the twins were getting into their pajamas, miraculously avoiding meltdowns, before going into the kitchen with the popcorn the twins had to pop it.

"Here," Carina said, holding out her hand, "I can do that. You go get in your matching jammies."

"Ok," Maya said, nodding, "You get yours on too."

"I will," Carina said, taking the popcorn.

Maya headed upstairs, getting on her pajamas that matched Carina and the twins. She honestly couldn't believe she was now one of those people who did the whole matching pajamas thing with her wife and kids, but something about it made her feel happy, mostly because Carina and the twins were happy.

She thought she looked a little bit ridiculous, but the smiles on the twins' faces when she walked down the stairs made it all worth it.

"Mommy, we match," Rowan said, running over to her.

"We do," Maya nodded, smiling at the toddler, "Do you like them."

"Si," Rowan said, "I yike matching you and Noa and Mamma."

"I yike it too," Nora said, reaching for Maya to pick her up, "I lub you Mommy."

"I love you too Piccola," Maya said as Nora kissed her cheek, "Should we go find Mamma?"

"I'm right here," Carina said, coming out of the bathroom with her pajamas on, "Oh my goodness, look at you Bambina."

"Mamma," Rowan said, running over to her, "Now we all match."

"I'm so happy," Nora said, practically beaming.

"Thank you for doing this Bambina," Carina said, bringing her wife and other daughter closer to her for a hug.

"Tan we have poptorno now?" Rowan asked after a minute, making everyone laugh.

"Of course, Patatina," Carina said, setting her down.

Maya also put Nora down before she and Carina went into the kitchen to get everything ready.

Within a few minutes, the popcorn was made, the twins had their candy, and Carina had a mug of Italian hot chocolate which she knew full well Maya would be stealing sips of.

After getting a cute family picture, they settled on the couch, The Grinch in the DVD player. Maya and Carina were sitting next to each other, Nora and Rowan still a little too excited to sit down, instead standing near the couch without actually sitting down.

"They are so funny," Maya said, pointing to the twins who were enthralled in the movie.

"They are," Carina nodded, taking a sip of the hot chocolate.

As Carina looked around the room at her wife and daughters, she felt this overwhelming feeling that someone was missing from this night, that their family was missing some important member. She had thought she wanted three kids since she married Maya, but she had never felt this much like they needed to grow their family. She had spent the better part of the last three weeks telling herself that it would be fine if they only had two, but suddenly, she knew that their family wasn't done. She tried not to think about that too much at the moment, trying to stay present with the family that was here right now.

"You ok?" Maya asked, noticing something didn't seem quite right with her wife.

"Yeah," Carina nodded, pulling herself out of her head, "Yeah. I'm fine."

"You sure?" Maya asked, brushing a piece of hair off her wife's face, "You look…I don't know…overwhelmed maybe?"

"We can talk about it later, ok?" Carina said.

"Alright," Maya agreed, pulling Carina a little closer to her, rubbing her shoulder, "I'm right here, ok?"

Carina nodded, kissing her wife's cheek.

Watching the movies with the girls ended up being an experience, Rowan having about a million questions and Nora eventually telling her to be quiet because she just wanted to watch the movie. Maya ended up with Rowan curled up in her lap so she could answer the questions for her while Nora curled up with Carina, happy to just suck on her fingers and watch the movie.

Once they watched both the Grinch and Frosty, they helped the twins put cookies on a plate for Babbo Natale along with a glass of milk before taking them upstairs to read books before tucking them in.

After the girls were asleep, Maya and Carina brought the Christmas presents downstairs, arranging them under the tree. They decided to set up the Montessori playset so it was ready for the morning while leaving everything else wrapped. It took a little longer than they anticipated, but by 9:30, everything was ready for the morning, Maya and Carina curled up on the couch together, just enjoying some silence.

"What were you thinking about earlier?" Maya asked, breaking the quiet of the night.

"It was silly," Carina said, shaking her head, not sure if she wanted to have this conversation tonight.

"Tell me anyway," Maya said, kissing behind Carina's ear, "Nothing you think is too silly for me, especially not if it is making you feel overwhelmed."

"Fine," Carina said, "But I need you to know that no matter what happens, it will be ok."

"Ok," Maya said, "Are you ok?"

"Si," Carina said, "I am fine. Earlier, I was just…I…I felt like someone was missing from our family…like we are missing someone important." It was quiet for a minute and Carina was worried she had made her wife upset. However, just as she was about to backtrack, Maya spoke up.

"Thank you for telling me that," the blonde said gently.

"But if you don't feel like that, or if it doesn't happen, it will be ok," Carina said quickly, basically cutting her wife off, "It was probably just me being stupid or sentimental or emotional for no reason. You know the holidays always make my emotions all over the place and I don't want to make you feel bad or like our family isn't enough or anything like that because I love you and I love our girls and I am so grateful for what we have."

"Can I say something now?" Maya asked when Carina stopped.

"Si," Carina said, taking a shaky breath.

"I felt the exact same way," Maya said, moving so she was facing her wife, "Tonight and kinda a lot over the past few weeks. The first time was when we were all in bed the morning of your scans and I just…I don't know…it felt like there was someone who wasn't there who should have been in that special moment. I can't explain it but it felt like we needed someone else there with us to make our family complete. I know we have talked about what will happen if things don't work and if we want to keep going, but I just…"

"You know someone is missing," Carina said, bringing her hand up to Maya's cheek.

The blonde nodded, leaning into Carina's touch.

"We will grow our family," Carina said definitively, both of them needing to hear that out loud.

"We will," Maya nodded, moving so her forehead was pressed against her wife's, grateful that they were on the same page out this, feeling validated by the fact that her wife felt the same way she did.

"I love you," Carina said, pressing a kiss to Maya's lips.

"I love you too," Maya said, pulling back a little and smiling at her, "Do you think maybe we should go…"

"Practice for growing our family?" Carina asked, already knowing exactly what her wife was thinking.

"I'm glad we are on the same page about that too," Maya said, standing up and pulling her wife up with her, hands roaming down her body.

"Not down here," Carina said between kisses, "Upstairs."

"Fine," Maya said, not breaking contact with her wife as she guided her toward the stairs, the two of them heading up to their room to continue their practice.

What did you think? I wasn't really planning on writing this, but it just is what happened when I sat down to write the past few days. I hope you liked it. In the next chapter, we are going to jump back into trying to grow this family again, but there will also (hopefully) be so sweet moments with Rowan and Nora. I am heading into finals week for the semester which is shockingly not as stressful this semester as it maybe should be (I think part of that is that my program is such a shit show and I just have to block out how I feel most of the time in order to survive), but I will probably write to procrastinate the studying I do have to do. I also then get one glorious week off before starting semester 4 so I am really hoping I can get some solid updates in in the next two weeks, but we shall see where life takes me. Anyways, thank you so much for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos! You all rock!

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