Night Pain

 I looked down at my son's disappointed face, my heart ached. His excitement to go out had turned sour after the nanny said my husband had prohibited me from going out. Wanting so eagerly to lift his spirits, I turned to the nanny. "Could you please call my husband? I need to speak with him," I asked, hoping to reason with him and make him understand that I was not like before.

The nanny looked at me, slightly hesitant but finally nodded. "Okay, Ma'am." She retrieved the phone and dialed the number that connected directly to Richard's secretary.

After a few rings, a voice that dripped with arrogance answered, "Who is this?"

The nanny replied, "This is Mr. Richard's wife. She would like to have a word with him."

There was a brief pause at the other end of the phone before the secretary's voice returned, colder than before. "He's busy" she said  and with that, she hung up.

I felt so helpless and frustrated because in my former body I was not restricted from moving around since my husband knew I was not attractive to other men because of my scar. Turning back to Tommy, who was watching with wide, hopeful eyes, I forced a smile. "I guess another day, sweetheart why don't we go and play some games upstairs in my room. 

Tommy's shoulders slumped, but he nodded, trying to be brave. 

Not long after we went upstairs to play that I heard the sound of the front gate open. Tommy's face lit up immediately he heard the sound of a car coming in, he jumped to his feet, shouting excitedly, Dad is back! Mommy, Daddy is back! He bolted toward the stairs, and I, still not able to walk comfortably since I have never been pregnant before so I don't know how to move around with it went slowly behind him while shouting behind him to stop running on the stairs.

As Tommy raced down, Richard walked in, his eyes narrowing as he watched me descend the stairs. I could see the way he looked at me probably suspicious about why I suddenly started to care for tommy. When I finally reached the bottom of the stairs, I looked at Richard nervously, unsure of what to say. "How was work today?" I stammered.

He responded curtly, "Fine. My secretary told me you called. Why? What is the matter?"

"We just wanted to go on a walk," I explained, trying to sound casual. Richard looked at me skeptically, then forced a smile.

He turned to Tommy and said, "Go to your room, buddy. I have some things for you. I'll come catch you in five minutes."

Tommy's eyes sparkled with excitement. "Ok papa, I'm going to hide!" he said and ran off upstairs, giggling.

Richard then looked at the nanny and said, "please do excuse us I would like to have a private discussion with my wife.

Once we were alone, his expression hardened. "If this is just a pretense, don't play with my son's feelings. I don't want any of your miserable games affecting him. Don't use him as an excuse to go and cheat. I've already told you, just wait for the divorce. Once you give birth, you can do whatever you like. I won't care."

I felt a lump in my throat. "I just thought we could play, and I just wanted to take a stroll outside. I've been inside all day..."

Richard cut me off, "Don't start with this emotional blackmail. I won't be moved by it. So, stop it." With that, he walked away.

As Richard left the room, I watched his retreating figure until he disappeared totally from my sight?"  The words he had said and the hatred in his eyes pierced my heart so deep that I just wanted to seat and cry. As I made my way upstairs to my room, the place that had become both my sanctuary and also my prison. Closing the door behind me, the tears I had been holding back poured forth in a torrent. I sank onto the bed, burying my face in my hands, and cried out to whoever was listening to me, "Why am I destined to not experience love at all.

The sobs took over my body, shaking me to my core. I cried until I had no more tears left, and then, with eyes stinging and heart heavy, I lay down on the bed. Sleep came as a welcome escape from the emotional turmoil, but it didn't last long.

A sharp, piercing pain jolted me awake, radiating from the edge of my stomach. I tried to sit up, but my body refused to cooperate. The pain was continuous, a fiery grip that tightened with every passing second. Panic set in as I realized I couldn't bear it alone. I screamed, my voice echoing in the stillness of the night, a desperate cry for help.

The house was dark, and the silence around me was suffocating. I screamed again, louder this time, hoping someone, anyone, would hear. Moments later, Richard burst into the room, his face a mix of annoyance and concern. "What is it ? Why do you have to make my life unbearable?" he demanded.

"Richard," I gasped, clutching my stomach. "The pain... it's unbearable."

He approached, his irritation giving way to a flicker of worry. "Just shut up," he snapped, but there was a softness to his voice that hadn't been there before. He disappeared into the adjoining bathroom and returned with a cloth and a bowl of water. He soaked the cloth and gently placed it on my stomach. The coolness provided immediate relief, soothing the fiery ache.

As the cloth worked its magic, he instructed me to lie down. I did as he said, and the pain gradually ebbed away. "Keep the towel there and try not to disturb me again," he muttered, turning to leave.

Before he could go, I called out, "Richard, can't you just stay the night here?"

He paused at the doorway, his back to me. After a long moment, he replied, Just this night." He moved to the couch, settling in with a resigned sigh.

I watched him as he fell asleep. The night dragged on, and as the water in the towel dried up, the pain began to creep back. I lay there, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep.

As dawn approached, the pain grew worse, pulling me from the edge of sleep. I turned to look at Richard, still sleeping soundly on the couch. Desperation drove me to rise from the bed, despite the pain. I walked over to him and gently tapped his shoulder. "Richard, please, can you come sleep on the bed?"

He stirred, blinking up at me with sleepy eyes. For a moment, he looked as if he might refuse, but then he sighed heavily and stood up. Without a word, he moved to the other side of the bed and lay down.

I returned to my side, carefully lowering myself onto the mattress. The pain was still there, gnawing at me, but having Richard close brought a strange comfort. Tentatively, I inched closer to him, seeking the warmth and reassurance of his presence. To my surprise, he didn't pull away. Instead, he shifted slightly, placing a hand on my stomach, just as he had with the towel earlier.

The pain began to subside almost immediately, the simple touch easing the tension in my body. For the first time in what felt like forever, I felt a glimmer of peace. I nestled closer to Richard, feeling his steady breath against my back, and allowed myself to drift into a deep, restful sleep.

When I awoke, the sun was just beginning to rise, casting a soft glow through the curtains. Richard was still asleep beside me, his hand resting protectively on my stomach. I lay there for a while, savoring the moment of connection between us.