Elf On The Shelf

Lyra awoke to the cold, unforgiving feel of metal against her wrists and ankles. Her eyes fluttered open, and she quickly took in her surroundings. She was in the kitchen of Hell's Kitchen, cuffed to a chair. Her heart pounded as she realized the gravity of her situation.

Across the room, Victor stood over a butcher block, expertly slicing the elf's body into manageable pieces. His movements were precise and practiced, as if he were dealing with nothing more than a slab of beef. Lucien leaned casually against the counter, sipping a large glass of blood, his vampire fangs glinting in the dim light.

"Always start with the main cuts," Victor explained, his voice calm and methodical. "If you butcher the carcass correctly, you get the best cuts of meat with minimal waste."

Lucien nodded, swirling the blood in his glass like a fine wine. "And waste is such a tragedy, isn't it? Especially when you're dealing with premium ingredients."

Victor glanced at Lucien, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Yes, well, it's a bit more delicate with...special ingredients like this. The muscle tissue needs to be treated carefully to retain its unique flavor and texture."

Lyra's mind raced as she tried to process the scene. Victor's hands moved with practiced ease, each slice of his knife precise and deliberate. The elf's body was being reduced to a variety of cuts, each laid out neatly on the counter. He was...so impressive!

"You see, Lucien," Victor continued, "it's all about respecting the meat. If you butcher it haphazardly, you lose the essence of what makes it special."

Lucien took another sip of his blood, his eyes flickering with amusement. "I'll take your word for it. I prefer my meals a bit more...liquid."

Victor chuckled softly. "To each their own. But there's an art to this. Every cut has its own character; it's like the signature of the butcher."

Lyra couldn't suppress a shudder as she watched the scene unfold. Victor was so cool! The casual manner in which Victor and Lucien discussed butchery and blood was deeply fascinating. She tugged at her restraints, testing their strength, but they held firm.

Victor glanced in her direction, his expression unreadable. "Ah, our guest is awake. Good morning, Lyra."

Lyra swallowed hard, trying to mask her fear. "What...what are you going to do with me?" she asked bashfully, earnings a glance from Lucien.

Victor set down his cleaver and wiped his hands on a towel. "That depends. You've put us in a rather difficult position, you see. We don't take kindly to stalkers, especially those who might threaten our operation."

Lucien smirked, his fangs flashing. "Indeed. But we're willing to listen if you have anything useful to say."

Lyra's mind raced as she tried to think of a way out. "I...I didn't mean any harm. I was just curious." she said. She took a deep breath, her cheeks flushing. "I... I followed you because I fell in love with you at first sight! When I saw you at the restaurant, I couldn't help myself. I had to know more about you!"

Lucien, who had been calmly sipping his glass of blood, suddenly choked and burst into laughter. "Oh, this is rich! You've got a stalker with a crush, Victor! I knew you had admirers, but this is too much!"

Victor raised an eyebrow, clearly taken aback. "You fell in love with me? At first sight?"Lyra nodded, her face reddening even more. "I know it sounds crazy, but I couldn't help it. There was something about you that drew me in."

Lucien doubled over, clutching his sides as he laughed. "This is priceless! Victor, the stoic butcher with a secret admirer! What are the odds?" Victor shot Lucien a stern look, though there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Calm down, Lucien. This is serious." he murmured.

Lucien wiped a tear from his eye, still chuckling. "Serious? It's hilarious! I mean, of all the things to expect, this wasn't on the list."

Victor ignored him. Turning to Lyra he asked her: "Do you understand what you saw tonight?"

Lyra hesitated. "That you're not just a chef. That there's more to Hell's Kitchen than meets the eye."

Lucien chuckled, shaking his head. "You have no idea how right you are."

Victor's gaze hardened. "We can't have you running around with this knowledge. So here's the deal. You can either work with us and keep our secrets, or you can become another ingredient in our kitchen. Your choice."

Lyra felt a chill run down her spine. She looked between Victor and Lucien, weighing her options. "Alright," she said finally. "I'll work with you. I don't care if you hurt me! Eat me if you want! I'll prove my loyalty, Chef!" she yelled with awkward fervor. Lucien fell on the floor laughing, rolling around and holding his stomach.

Victor rubbed his temples, kicking Lucien. "Lucien, help me uncuff her." he said dejectedly.

As they freed Lyra from the chair, Lucien couldn't resist another jibe. "Fell in love at first sight, huh? Well, Victor, looks like you've got yourself a fan club."

"A club? Who else is there?" Victor asked, perplexed.

"Hee hee, not telling you!" Lucien replied, sticking his tongue out.

Victor shook his head, sighing. "Let's just focus on getting her settled in. We'll deal with the rest later."

As she got up, Lyra turned to Victor, blushing.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" she asked, biting her lips. Lucien almost roller his eyes at her behavior, but waited patiently to see where this would lead; this was, perhaps, the funniest thing that he's seen in the last century.

Victor signed again. He looked at the meat on the counter and then at the magistone refrigerator.

"Yeah, I guess. Help me get the rest of this elf on the shelf." he said, pointing at one of the shelves of the walk - in refrigerator.

Lucien's laughter echoed through the restaurant and onto the alleys outside.