Chapter 19.

"I'll go. Mukhang busy kayo." I put a msile in my lips at akmang aalis na when Syd caught my hand.

"Babe. No. Dito ka lang." There's frustration in his voice. Ramdam ko ang tensyon sa kwarto na iyon.

With the smile still evident on my lips, hinarap ko sya. "Mag usap na muna kayo ni Reese." Nilingon ko si Reese. I can see how from being confident, bigla ay para syang nahiya.

Umiiwas sya ng tingin sa amin and she was caressing her right arm using her left hand.

Syd's jaw tightened, ramdam ko din na humigpit ang hawak nya sa kamay ko. Tiningnan ko iyon tapos ay inangat ko ang mukha ko upang tingnan sya.

"Syd.."

"Si Reese ang aalis, Babe." Matigas na sabi ni Syd.

Nilingon ko si Reese. Nakita ko na nagulat sya sa sinabi ni Syd. She looked at him, still not believing what he said.

"Nakita mo naman, diba? Nandito ang girlfriend ko. So please lang, Reese. Wag ka na pupunta dito. I love her at ayoko na isipin nya ulit na may ugnayan pa tayo. We're through." Bawat kataga na binibitiwan ni Syd ay puno ng emosyon. His grip is still

I'm still torn between the thought na affected na affected pa rin si Syd with their past. Pero ako ang pinili nya ngayon. He could have let me through that door and let Reese stay but ako yung pinili nya na maiwan.

I saw Reese got her bag from the sofa and left without a word.

When the door shut after she left, automatic na hinila ako ni Syd at ikinulong sa mga bisig nya. Sobrang higpit ng yakap nya sa akin, at ramdam ko ang tibok ng dibdib nya at yung kagustuhan nya na yakapin ako.

"S-Syd.."

"Hindi ko na sya mahal, Angelique. Ikaw na. She's from the past." Muffled na sabi nya. He was kissing me in my hair.

"I-I know.." Sabi ko na lang. "What's Jaden got to do with this? I heard his name.."

Humiwalay sya sa akin. Hinawakan nya ang balikat ko with his hands. "Nung naging kami ni Reese, naging sila rin ni Jaden."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko.

Then Syd smiled bitterly. "While she was playing with me, she was played by Jaden."

"W-what do you mean?"

Syd sighed, tapos umupo sya sa sofa na nasa gilid lang namin. Hinila nya ang kamay ko at napaupo ako sa tabi nya. I guess i'm ready to listen to what he would say.

"I fell in love with Reese when i was sixteen years old. Four years ago. Kakalabas ko lang sa rehab." Humarap sya sa akin. "I-I had issues before, Angelique. K-kaya gusto ko umiwas sayo kasi alam ko na malalaman mo, and i don't like being attached to anyone before." Yumuko sya ulit. "Si Reese yung nandyan nung pakiramdam ko, nag iisa lang ako. I was mad at everything. Pero si Reese, masayahin. Kahit sinusungitan ko na sya, nagtatyaga sya sa akin."

"Magkakaibigan na sila noon nila Jaden. Ako naman.. well, pinatira nila ako sa mansion nila kahit ayoko. Wala naman ako choice noon. When my mother died, hindi ko alam kung sino ang Tatay ko. Bigla na lang may sumulpot na nagke claim na anak nya ako. Ayoko sumama sa kanya. Kung anu anong regalo ang pinapadala nya sa akin pero tinatapon ko. Lalo ako napariwara. Yung mga barkada ko before, umiwas ako sa kanila. Napunta ako sa ibang group."

"I admit, i took drugs. I did bad things, Angelique. That was my time. I was a mess. Hanggang sa may muntik na ako mapatay." Tinitigan nya ang mga kamay nya na tila hindi rin sya makapaniwala. "I was lost and i have no direction. Nakulong ako, pero napalaya din ako after two hours. That's what you get when you have a very powerful father."

"Sapilitan nila akong pinasok sa rehab. Doon ko napagnilay lahat ng ginawa ko. Alam ko, if my mother is alive, ayaw nya rin na mapariwara ako ng ganito. Sinama nila ako sa mansion. Hindi ko nakasundo ang ina nila Jaden at Zel. She's.. far from what i thought she was kapag kaharap ang ama ko. Mabait lang sya kapag kaharap si Daddy. Pero kapag wala, basahan ang turing nya sa akin. Good thing Jaden and Zel treat me like i was really their big brother. They respect me. At iyon na lang ang natira na pag asa ko habang nasa kanila ako."

"When i met Reese, naiinis ako sa kanya. She's annoying. Pero nahulog ako sa kanya. Akala ko, tuloy tuloy na. Somebody accepted me for what i am. One month na kami noon, pero kami lang ang nakaka alam. She said she wanted to let others know about us when the time comes. Nagulat na lang ako one time, Jaden told me about Reese. Sabi nya, matagal na sya kinukulit ni Reese at pinagbigyan nya na kaya naging sila. Jaden was just laughing about it. Hindi ko sinabi sa kanya noon yung relasyon namin ni Reese. Ayoko isipin ng kapatid ko na kawawa ako."

"I confronted Reese about it, pero nag drama sya. She explained things. Sabi nya, biruan lang daw yun, ganito, ganyan. Ako naman si tanga, naniwala." Kita kong nag shift yung mga mata nya into anger. He's remembering painful memories para sabihin sa akin. "I love her so much then. Lahat ng sinasabi nya, naniwala ako. Hanggang sa hindi ko na kaya yung ugali ng ina nila Jaden at Zel. I was frim when i told Daddy na aalis na ako. Wala na sya nagawa. Nagsimula na rin naman mga chismis noon since may anak sa labas si Daddy. Sa akin nasisisi lahat."

"Ginawa ko kung ano ang gusto ko. Hinayaan ako ni Daddy. Alam nya na ayaw ko ng pinapakealam. I learned things. Nakikipag kita minsan si Jaden. Kinikwento nya si Reese. Nasasaktan ako kapag sinasabi nya kung gaano ka patay na patay sa kanya si Reese. Hindi lang ako nagsasalita, but it was painful. Yung babae na mahal na mahal ko, basura lang sa kapatid ko. I made a decision. Sinabi ko kay Reese na tigilan na lang namin yun. Namulat ako sa katotohanan. Matagal na nga may gusto si Reese kay Jaden. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pinatulan nya pa ako. But recenlty, nakuha ko na."

"I learned not to commit again. I'm a man, i have my needs. At may mga babae na willing sumama sa akin. Sila na nag ooffer. I knew the drill. They knew it too. I was okay with it pero nakilala kita. I admit, i was just teasing you. I know you like me. At isa kang challenge, Angelique. Nagkaka gusto na ako sayo nang ma realize ko na gusto ka din ni Jaden. I wanted to backed off." Umiling iling sya. "Alam ko, si Jaden ang pipiliin mo. He was better than me. Nag aaral sya, i'm not. He's the legitimate child, i'm not. He's perfect, i'm not. Ayoko na kapag nahulog na ako sayo, tsaka ko malalaman na si Jaden na naman at hindi ako."

"When i saw you in the hotel.. I know you came for me. I knew it the moment i saw you. I decided to talk to you and sort things out, pero nawalan ako ng lakas ng loob. I just like you. Paano kapag hindi sapat iyon? Paano kapag sa huli, masaktan lang din kita? You were different from the girls i was with. I knew it. Tapos nandoon si Jaden. He rescued you. But what i feel was true. Nagsinungaling man ako noong nasa hotel na tayo when we first made love, that's because i am already sorting my feelings already."

"Selfish na kung seflish pero ayoko na makasama mo si Jaden, si Lay o kahit sino pa." Muli syang humarap sa akin. Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya as he got my hand. "Angelique. I'm not as perfect as my brother, pero mahal kita. Ikaw na yung mahal ko. I made mistakes, i never denied all of it. Pero nandito na tayo. " Pinisil nya yung kamay ko. "Mahal mo rin naman ako. Let's just be together."

Titig na titig sya sa mukha ko as he was saying all of it. I feel the sincerity, the intensity. His beautiful face is the evidence of how he loves me. Of what he really felt for me.

"Please. Give me this chance. I'm a mess, but i will be better."

I cupped his face using my hands and planted a kiss on his lips.

Kita ko yung pagka gulat nya. Napa awang ang labi nya hanggang sa sumilay yung ngiti nya.

Bigla nya akong yinakap. "I love you Angelique. Thank you for the chance. I nevew knew i would love someone like this. Masyadong mabilis, but i am sure. All of the pain from the past was worth it when you came to my life." May saya sa boses nya while he was saying it habang yakap nya ako.

I hugged him back.

Pakiramdam ko, sasabog yung dibdib ko sa sobrang saya. Hindi na muna ako mag iisip ng kung ano, hindi ko na muna iisipin ang mangyayari after my decision to give him another chance. Our chance to be happy.

Itinuloy na lang namin yung pag inom ng beer habang nag uusap ng kung anu ano. I can never be more satisfied. Lahat ng agam agam ko, nawala. Maybe what happened to us was just a challenge, to make us more stronger. O kahit ano pa man yan, i'm still glad we lead into this.

"Ang lakas mo uminom." Nakangiti pero naiiling na sabi nya.

"Hindi naman." Tumawa ako. "Weak ka lang talaga."

"Of course not!" Tanggi nya. "Gusto kita ihatid mamaya. So hindi ako pwede uminom ng marami."

Nagkamot ako ng ulo. "Kahit wag na. Magtataxi na lang ako. Magpahinga ka na lang."

"May dadaanan ka pa ba?" Kunot noo na tanong nya sa akin.

Umiling ako as i was drinking in my glass. "Wala, didiretso ako ng uwi."

"Edi pumayag ka na na ihahatid kita." He drank on his glass too.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Fine."

Bigla nya kinuha yung kamay ko at hinila. Pinalapit nya ako sa kanya and he hugged me in the waist from the bacl. Naka upo kami sa kama nya while our glasses were in the tray.

"Thank you so much for the chance, Angelique. Akala ko titiisin mo na ako eh." Nasa balikat ko ang baba nya. We were so close.

"Nah, last na 'to." Tumawa ako.

He started giving me wet kissed on my neck.

"Syd.." I called him.

"Hmm."

"Wala ka na balak mag aral? I mean.. you're still young, at kahit saan mo gusto, your dad can surely afford to let you."

"Of course. Dad actually wanted me to take a degree in Harvard."

Napalingon ako sa kanya sa sinabi nya. "What? Harvard?"

"Uh yeah." He sigjed. "Pero pinag iisipan ko pa. When my mom's still alive, gusto nya na mag fine arts ako. But that was just a wishful thinking. Mahirap lang kami, so parang hanggang pangarap na lang talaga. She died after i graduated High School."

"You were fifteen at that time.." Nagtataka na tanong ko. Graduate sya ng High School at fifteen?

I heard him chuckled. "Medyo na accelerate ako ng isang taon."

"Woah." Gulat na sabi ko. "Really? That's nice! Kaya mas sayang kung hindi mo itutuloy."

"You want me to go to Harvard?" Bigla ay nagseryoso sya.

Nawala yung ngiti ko. Paano ako makaka oo o hindi? We just reconciled, and i don't know what to say, seriously.

"G-gusto mo ba mag Harvard?" Balik ko sa kanya.

"I'm still thinking about it. But would you let me?" Kunot noo na tanong nya.

I bit my lower lip.

"Don't do that, Babe." Saway nya sa akin.

"Sorry." Ngiti ko sa kanya. "Nasayo naman yan. Kung gusto mo, go. I mean, bakit aayaw ka pa sa opportunity?" Sabi ko na lang.

"Yes or no, Babe." Walang ngiti na tanong nya.

I sighed. "No. Ayoko malayo ka. Pero.."

"Then i'll tell dad, no. Madami pa rin naman Universities dito sa Pilipinas na pwedeng pwede."

Tumango ako. "But if ever, walang kaso sa akin." I still insisted.

"Nah, you said No. Ayaw mo." Natatawa na sagot nya. He gave me more kisses on my neck.

"Pero ikaw yung mag aaral, not me."

"Ayaw ko rin naman malayo sayo. Kaka ayos pa nga lang natin, gusto mo na ako umalis."

Tumawa ako. "Of course not! Ang sakin lang naman, that's a huge opportunity."

"Yeah, well. Harvard won't go anywhere."

Ayaw nya pa sana ako pauwiin pero i insisted. May pasok na bukas at hindi ako nakapagpa alam ng maayos kay Mommy. We make out a little at nag ayos bago kami bumaba sa lobby. We waited for the vallet for his car at agad naman kaming naka alis.

I was memorizing his side profile while he was driving. He's just breathetaking. Ang feminine ng features nya at the same time ang gwapo nya. Like he said, he's a mess. But he's a beautiful one.

"Gwapong gwapo ka na naman sakin." I heard him said. Hindi sya naka tingin sa akin, pero naka ngisi sya at busy sa pagda drive.

"H-hindi no." Tanggi ko pa.

Inilipat ko sa daan ang tingin ko.

I heard him chuckle.

"Babe.."

"What?" He was still concetrated on the way.

"When can i see you again? Bukas, pwede?"

"Excited?" Kunwari ay natatawa na sabi ko.

"Susunduin kita?"

"Babe, may dala akong sasakyan. Let's meet somewhere else na lang."

Nagkasundo kami na mag dinner na lang ng sabay bukas. I'm loving the idea na para kaming nagsisimula ulit ni Syd.

Binigyan ako ng maka pugtong hininga ni Syd before he went home. Hindi mapuknat ang ngiti sa labi ko as i got out of the elevator. I got my keys out and went inside para magulat nang may makita akong tao sa sala na naka upo sa sofa.

"J-Jaden?"

He stood up then smiled at me awkwardly. "H-hi Andrea."