Volume 1. Chapter 5 - The Non-Gladiator

There were two demons in front of me, very similar in build to a human, one was taller, and the other was broader and more muscular. From the conversation, I immediately realized that it was better not to joke with them, and my intuition also told me that any wrong move could turn me into a barbecue.

And that's why I made the most logical decision!

- I give up, - I raised my hands, at which they looked at me askance.

Am I doing everything right?

- And what is it?

- What is he doing?

 I give up.

- Are you giving up? ...Ha Ha Ha!!! An interesting devil! It's a good thing we didn't kill you right away!

Phew, at least I saved my ass for a while.

- Well, did you see it, did you see it? Usually they immediately fall down and ask for a prayer, but this one is kind of weird!

- Yes, yes, and what I was saying is that you constantly want to chop everyone into minced meat. Sometimes it's worth looking closely, maybe playing, and only then killing.

- …

I don't like their conversation anymore.

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!!

Apparently that chicken came out victorious, it would be nice if she attacked those guys so that I could escape.

- KUOWOWOWOW!!!

- Oh, she's making a lot of noise! Go deal with her," the broader one said.

- Yes, I just wanted to do it.

He had a scabbard on his belt, from which he took out a massive sword. That chicken ran towards him with a loud scream at full speed, but after one swing of the sword, only half of the chicken remained, and then small pieces.

- Not bad, I released the stress.

- Yeah... hey, where are you going? – he drew attention to me.

- ... I…

That's bullshit!!! I thought while they were busy with that partridge, I could easily escape, but who knew they were so strong!

"... I'm... doing push-ups," I started doing push-ups.

For a long time, I realized that demons like funny and funny weirdos, which means maybe they won't kill me yet.

"Hmm... ha HA Ha HA! Let's take him with us!

- Yes... he's funny, I think he might come in handy.

Very good. I even exhaled as I realized again. It's hell... and there's never anything simple in hell.

I already understood that I would most likely be shoved into some shit again, but I hope it will be better there than with demonic beasts, and I have no choice. How right I was, only as always it was even worse there.

***

There was a lot more, but I'll try to tell you everything briefly. We traveled through the wasteland with those demons for about three days. To call this adventure fun would be a real blasphemy, unless of course there is a god in hell. What happened? Well... the endless desert, the landscape, which was already starting to make me sick. So, and also... yes, demonic beasts! But if only they were there, there were two more demons, but with them ... it definitely wasn't boring…

- Ahahahahahaha! Stupid animals! Come on up! – cut down all the demonic beasts first.

"Well, well, don't worry, I'll just take your skin off..." the second one tormented the little animal.

And among these two, I was the most adequate.

Are all demons so fucked up?

Fortunately, I was cunning and not stupid, and thanks to my fucking and dancing skills, I was able to get them interested in me. It sounds strange, but at least it saved me from being skinned, and then cut into a barbecue.

Unfortunately, I couldn't even ask them anything, because, you know, I was afraid that I would be killed, hell after all.

And so a couple of days later we came to some houses with strange and incomprehensible shapes.

Is that... feces?

Fuck, houses are in the form of shit, fuck it.

Of course, I was least interested in such houses, because…

- I bet 1000 on his victory.

- 300!

- And for a dead man?

- No, he's definitely going to die.

- I agree, where did they get it at all?

- Our people speak in the wasteland.

- There are only demonic beasts in the wasteland, where would a demon come from?

- Yes, fuck knows!

You probably have a question, but don't worry, you're not alone, I also have a question right now what the fuck... I mean?

Those two demons took me somewhere, and then they put me in the arena, and in front of me stood another younger demon, only with a weapon.

- And so, the bets are accepted! The battle begins!

- Wait a minute! What the fuck…

But I didn't have time to finish, because that younger demon had already attacked me.

Wait... the arena, the opponent, the stakes... it looks like gladiator fights.

Holy shit! No, wait, is this serious now!? Stop, stop, stop... no… That's bullshit!!!

My opponent was wearing light armor and had a sword with him, and I... where'S MY WEAPON??? I only had a knife.

Well... maybe you should just stab yourself so you don't suffer? And then everything got so bad, no matter where I run away, I always get into an even bigger mess. Hell, factory, sadist, beasts and in the end I became a kind of gladiator, and in order to survive, I will have to fight even stronger demons…

- HOW DID YOU FUCK UP!!!

I had a moment of weakness, but how could I afford it? No, I still have to get even with angel and that bitch, and this is a good opportunity to replenish my strength. The main thing is not to find out about the system, but I can just save points.…

- Heh heh…

He attacked, but I just dodged. His attacks were simple, so with my dexterity, I could easily read them.

But... it's simple, very simple!

Rose, the animals, those two fuckers, they were all very strong, but... this one doesn't seem to be their category.

It was enough to dodge to pass under his arm and carry a knife into his neck and that's it…

"So where's my essence?"

Yeah, did you think it would be that easy? – my subconscious told me.

Yes, that demon was still alive.

- Come on.…

.

.

.

Am I... alive? I'm alive. I'M ALIVE!!!

No matter how much I beat that demon, he didn't die. I thought he was a weakling, but who knew that I was just stupid!

And what happened next… Well, of course it was even worse.

There were new opponents, and they were also putting up demonic beasts, and in the middle of all this chaos was me. Hi, I'm a sinner-demon, will I get hooked? It was only thanks to nigerendae's skill that I could somehow hold on... at least until today.

After many fights, me and a couple of other demons in the same position were just put in a row, which made me wonder why?

We didn't have to wait long, because a tall and obviously noble demon came out in front of us, whose long arms were shackled in armor, and his legs replaced hooves. His overall height was over two meters, and what attracted me most about him was the unusual mustache, which did not suit him at all.

- So, you have been gathered here for…

I didn't listen any further, because…

- Kha!

- Uh-huh…

- What…

- Aah…

The demons standing next to me suddenly fell and died.

How so, you ask, to which I will only smile maliciously and answer, poison.

All the other demons were already running around in a hurry, trying to figure out why everyone except me had died.

Of course, I put poison in their food, they were my next opponents, and strong ones. I didn't think they'd all die, but it's even better this way.

If there is no body, there is no matter, of course, there are bodies, but no one will be able to find out that it was me, and they don't need to, because this is hell.

And how was it? I just happened to find the right demon. But what about the payment? I will add that she was dementia, and quite beautiful, and for a long time you don't have to think that she asked me... for my little finger of my left hand. That's a bitch, but I was willing to pay the price.

- Oh no, everyone died, how is that? – I was feigning surprise.

The demons chatted a little more until the one with the mustache decided everything at once.

- Well, since everyone is dead, then let it be just him.

Yes! There are no opponents! So I'll be the winner or something, but the main thing is that there are no opponents!

- Today is our last day! – He spoke up.

Yes, yes, I'll be able to get out of here soon.

- And in the end, unfortunately, our other demons died.

I don't even know who is to blame for this.

"And therefore, only he will compete with a thousand demonic beasts.

Yes, yes... stop.

- Let the fun begin!

- M-wait a minute…

 GRAAA!!!

- OOORRKKKK!!!

- GOOOOOOOO!

- SCHEEEEEE!!!

Fuck... well, yes, I forgot that this is hell, a place where your expectations will be destroyed by the huge ass of Hades, who will also shit on you and laugh, and you will get out of all the shit yourself.

- Uh... it's going to be tough.

Clutching my knife tighter, I ran straight at them.

.

.

.

- Whoooooo!

- Whoooooo!

- Whoooooo!

The audience was clearly unhappy, because an incredibly boring sight was happening in front of them.

I was not an idiot and clearly understood that I would not be able to stand up against a thousand animals in any way, well, just in any way, and therefore I chose the most optimal tactics for myself, time-tested.

- Ha! Stupid animals!

I was throwing rocks.

Yes, I had to destroy part of the arena a little, and stupidly hang around the edges, which made the other demons unhappy, but somehow I didn't give a fuck about them. I would have died anyway, so it was the only thing I could do.

[Essence obtained]

It's a pity that I can't just devour them, because I was also given essence for eating flesh. But if I do that, it's obviously not going to end well.

And then three hours later.

- The winner…

- Hooray…

- Finally…

- Fuck it, let's go somewhere else!

Ahahahahahaha!!! Take a nap! I'm as indestructible as a cockroach! Did I tell you how I once slipped away from the gangsters' entourage? No, well, listen to me…

.

.

.

I appeared before His Majesty with a mustache.

"You're a smart demon."

- ... Well, yes.

"He's also very strange," his voice changed dramatically.

Okay, I have a bad feeling about this.

- ... Maybe.

"Ha..." he gasped.

So, why did my point shrink sharply?

- You already own the system, don't you?

- …

BLAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!

"... Well... maybe…

"Yes, definitely, and your karma is... so pure," he licked his lips.

... But for what?

- I'm buying you, now you're mine, darling.

Why is it always like this?

"Well, now," he was already stretching his arms.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

An evacuation plan is urgently needed!!! Any ideas?

Sir, any attempt will be doomed to failure, he is comparable in strength to Rose, if not stronger than her.

fuck! Comrade Commander, do you have any ideas of salvation?

There is one option.

Which one? Faster!

Remember our ancient wisdom, which has always helped us survive, since childhood, when our father was drunk, we used three methods to save ourselves.

Commander…

The first one is to hide, he won't find you if you hide well. The second one is to run, you will have time to escape, you will be saved.

Commander, but escape or hide-and-seek is impossible here.

I know there is a third option – to fuck.

The commander?

I'm launching the command! Open the mitt and start the verbal diarrhea!

"Hey, there's a problem," I began.

- I don't care about that.…

- I'm already busy.

He stopped, and I continued.

- You know such a demoness with red skin and big breasts, she also shoots cold.

- Huh?

"Well, I was her slave, and she... already took everything.

Of course not.

- Is she? He was clearly not in the mood anymore.

- Yes, and she also said that I was only her, and that anyone who wanted me would get their ass kicked, she even gave me the system to know.

"...is this bitch crazy?"

Ha ha!

- Yes, and I've also heard about you.

"About me?" From her? What did she say?

- What… You are a thin impotent man with a small penis, and you'd rather just die in her glacier than try to get close to any demon.

- Hmm! What else did she say? – clearly angry.

- ... What… Your moustache is disgusting.

- HAAAAA!!!

The sharp cold hit me, and gusts of wind threatened to rip off my skin.

- WHAT DOES THIS BITCH THINK SHE IS?!?!

- Heh…

Something that has always helped me out.

All that remains is…

- GIRBID!!! A voice came from outside.

- SHE!?

Is she?

- THAT BITCH! It looks like you were telling the truth, little imp, I'll deal with her, and then we'll play.

- Yes…

How well everything is going.

Two strong demons came out to fight, and all the surrounding demons were also interested in the fight, and only one demon was sitting alone and had a sly smile on his face.

- It's time to farm the essence.

***

(Mini-supplement Chapter 5.5)

It wasn't that weird. I was sold to the gladiator arena, where I am actually a gladiator. And to say that it's fucked up is to tell the truth, it's fucked up. Fighting strong demons and demonic beasts doesn't seem to be that scary, but the possibility of dying is really scary. And I have even more chances to die, because I am an ordinary sinner, not even a demon, and I only have a knife from a weapon when my opponents have shields, swords and armor.

That's fucked up.

Fortunately, at least they fed us, and they paid for the victory, which is why I still got some hope.

While fighting the demons, I accidentally found their weak spot, it was their neck, but not the carotid artery, but a completely different place. Demons absolutely don't give a fuck about blood loss, which I've already found out, but if they get their spine pierced, then at least they can become paralyzed.

And so, I saved up money and strength by fighting in the arena, until we were told that next time the strongest arenas would fight among themselves for the opportunity to become a servant of some hybrid.

Who is this hybrid?

But what was important was that I wouldn't be there.… More precisely, I thought so.

It was a fiasco.

I knew for sure that I would be fucked there, so I abruptly began to look for a solution, which appeared quite unexpectedly.

A short demoness with brownish skin and hooves instead of legs, if you don't take hooves, then she looked quite sexy, but I was interested in something else.

- Medicines?

- Yes, medicines.

"Is there poison?"

- ... Yes, only for an additional price.

It was a small market set up next to the arena, where gladiators and ordinary onlookers often went. Of course, in the market in hell you could find everything, food, weapons, potions, mana crystals... parts of demons, slaves, souls and all sorts of crap, the name and purpose of which I did not know, so I was even interested.

Honestly, I was still attracted to a couple of slave beauties in the form of succubi, but I wish I had money.

- How much?

- How much will you give?

I gave her the middle finger.

"Mmm... the imp's finger, it'll do for me."

- ... Huh?

"But that's not all," she began to say playfully, "There's something else you can pay me with.

- W-wait a minute…

Although, she's pretty sexy, it won't be bad, only here… I hope I don't get infected with some kind of sore.

- Do you have condoms?

- What is this?

Fuck.

- And medicines for diseases of the STD type.

- Eh? Well, it seems like there is.

- Give me one, and then we'll start paying for the poison.

- Hmm... you're interesting, imp.

And then... it was a good night, and I woke up without a finger, but at least with poison. And then everything was simple, I poured poison into their food in front of them.

Of course, you have a question like, what? And I will answer, many demons are very naive! It was an unimaginable surprise for me, but it is true! Just tell them that it's a flavor enhancer and that's it!

So, we were already assembled, and I could only wait for the result to finally announce itself.

It's so hard to hold back a smile.

But if I had known how it would turn out…