Tell

A crowd of students gathered by the bulletin board outside of Chen An's classroom. Their math teacher had posted their exam scores, and mixed reactions of satisfaction and disappointment made its way through the crowd.

Lu Xi Xi had her arm linked with Chen An's and tried to push through to the front of the group but to no avail. "I guess you don't even have to check, Chen An," Lu Xi Xi whined, her voice muffled by the commotion.

An opening let up, and the pair made their way to the board. Chen An's eyes automatically found her name near the top of the sheet, the number two printed next to it. Drifting to the entry above, she found Li Jun Jie's name, the characters appearing larger as if mocking her. Chen An couldn't believe she had ever been concerned about Li Jun Jie's studies.

"Better luck next time, An An," the owner of the name came to mock her too.

Chen An reached behind her and pulled at Li Jun Jie's jacket, causing him to fall forward, his face now only centimeters apart from hers. "I would punch you right now if I wasn't afraid you were going to pass out again."

Turning his head toward her, Li Jun Jie's breath fanned over her ear, and Chen An fought the urge to squirm. "So, you're still worried about me, An An?"

Before Chen An could really punch him, Lu Xi Xi's voice caused them to separate quickly. "Congratulations, Li Jun Jie! Nothing unexpected, for sure."

Li Jun Jie nodded, coughing awkwardly as he shifted beside Chen An.

"Could you tutor me in math, Li Jun Jie? I'm struggling a bit," Lu Xi Xi asked, pointing to her name next to the number eighteen on the list.

"Why don't you just ask Chen An?" Li Jun Jie replied, not picking up her hint.

Lu Xi Xi looked to Chen An for help.

"We can study together this weekend," Chen An offered.

Appearing hopeful, Lu Xi Xi beamed at Li Jun Jie. "What do you think?"

He shrugged, already making his way into the classroom. "Why not?"

The café by Chen An and Li Jun Jie's apartments was always quiet on the weekends, their usual office worker customers skipping out on their morning dose of caffeine for sleeping in. Its owner was a chic young woman who lived in Chen An's apartment building and who always gave Chen An a free slice of cake when she came in during her shifts.

Chen An, Li Jun Jie, and Lu Xi Xi occupied a table in the back corner, their textbooks covering its small surface. Only the relaxing jazz music streaming from the café's speakers filled the silence, each of them working through the math exercises on their own.

Having finished before the other two, Li Jun Jie picked up Chen An's cup in his boredom, the condensation dripping off the side and leaving a ring on the table. Before Chen An could protest, Li Jun Jie took a sip from her straw before promptly coughing.

"What is this, Chen An? The drink of the devil?" Li Jun Jie looked at the cup as if he had really met a demon.

Chen An snatched the cup out of his hands. "Serves you right for stealing my drink."

"Drink?" Li Jun Jie asked incredulously. "Are you sure that isn't just a cup full of sugar?"

Chen An took a long sip, savoring the sweet liquid mockingly. "It's my special grape juice. You can enjoy your dirt water if you want."

Lu Xi Xi cleared her throat, breaking up their childish squabble. She gestured to a problem in the practice set. "Can you teach this to me, Li Jun Jie?"

"Can't you ask Chen An?" he answered impassively.

Looking to Chen An again for help, Lu Xi Xi's eyes widened as if to plead her.

Chen An glanced back and forth between them. "Uh... I don't really get it either. How about you explain it to the both of us, Li Jun Jie?"

Li Jun Jie huffed in annoyance but brought out his notebook, scribbling down notes as he went through the steps. "First, you need to separate the variables, y and x. Then, you take the integral of both sides of the equation." The answer seemed to reveal itself magically, and he boxed it in a perfectly drawn rectangle.

Lu Xi Xi tried to follow his guidance, confused. "How do I separate the variables in this question?"

Chen An watched as Li Jun Jie leaned closer to Lu Xi Xi, pointing out her mistakes. "You can't do this step here. Try this instead."

Lu Xi Xi nodded but didn't seem to look all too interested in his explanation. A pink blush rose to her cheeks, but Li Jun Jie didn't seem to notice, focusing on solving the problem on her paper.

After writing the solution, Li Jun Jie returned to his spot in his seat and turned his attention to Chen An. "Did you finish the problem yet, Chen An?"

Breaking out of her thoughts, Chen An stared down at the blank paper in front of her. "No, not yet."

"Come on, Chen An. This is the easiest one. Do you still not get it?" Li Jun Jie seemed to scold her, his gentle tone with Lu Xi Xi replaced with an irritated one.

It felt a little unfair then, how Li Jun Jie treated Lu Xi Xi so nicely compared to Chen An. But, Chen An said nothing and began working through the problem on her own.

The sun hung low in the sky as the late afternoon rolled around, casting a dreamy glow on the plants that seemed to overflow from their hanging pots. Li Jun Jie had left the table to use the restroom, and Chen An and Lu Xi Xi continued to work through the math exercises.

"Chen An," Lu Xi Xi broke the silence suddenly. "Do you think Li Jun Jie likes me?"

The question startled Chen An, and her pencil wobbled against the paper, nearly breaking from her tight grasp. "I don't know. You should ask him."

"But, from your opinion," Lu Xi Xi prodded. "You've known him for much longer than I have. What do you think?"

Chen An didn't want to think about Li Jun Jie, but those invasive thoughts flooded her brain anyway, and she felt as if all of the air had been knocked out of her lungs. He had been patient and kind to Lu Xi Xi while teaching her how to solve the equations. Li Jun Jie had always been hostile in Chen An's memory; it was unlike him to help her so willingly unless he thought of her differently than how he thought of Chen An.

"I think so," Chen An responded breathlessly after what seemed like an eternity.

"Really?" Lu Xi Xi nearly jumped from her chair, her face lighting up brighter than Chen An had ever seen it.

"Do you like him too?" Chen An asked hesitantly, though she already dreaded the answer before the question left her mouth.

Lu Xi Xi nodded, and Chen An could feel her heart drop to the pit of her stomach, like she had swallowed a heavy stone. There, it twisted and tightened until Chen An's body went numb, and she felt that this was the closest she had ever been to drowning.

"I'm going to confess to him at the Mid-Autumn Festival celebration." Lu Xi Xi reached her hands out to grab Chen An's, forcing Chen An to meet her hopeful eyes. "You'll help me, right, Chen An?"

It took all the strength in her body not to pull away from Lu Xi Xi's burning grasp. Chen An couldn't say it was unexpected: it was painfully obvious that Lu Xi Xi had feelings for Li Jun Jie. In truth, Chen An had always thought the two suited each other. They both came from influential families with great talents of their own. Lu Xi Xi was so vibrantly beautiful that even flowers were envious, much less the dull falling leaves.

And Li Jun Jie — Chen An's mind became jumbled whenever she thought of him — was the kind of boy that only those like Lu Xi Xi could reach. It was the way of the world: only flowers could bloom through the snow, while leaves withered with a single touch. Even then, Chen An didn't know why there remained such an aching feeling in her chest.

But, in the way that fate intended, what Chen An felt didn't matter. She had no place in their story. Indeed, the winter always chased the blooming spring while leaving behind a wistful autumn.