85. Chapter 85

One gift down, but several more to go. Dean paused on the sidewalk just outside the toy store and looked around at the other stores with a thoughtful expression. Christmas gifts weren’t really his area of expertise. Charlie had been pretty easy to buy for, but that was only because she had just shown Dean her huge collection of arts and crafts a few days ago.

What should he buy for Sam? Or for Bobby? It wasn’t like either one of them had any hobbies. He didn’t even know Jody that well; he just felt like he should get her something because she had always been kind to Dean and Sam, and she was important to Bobby. He had the same problem with Anael, since he had spent even less time with her than he had with Jody. Not to mention Balthazar, who seemed to have weird taste.

It was all a little overwhelming.

“Dean?” Castiel said in his ear, and Dean startled. He looked over his shoulder to find that Castiel was watching him with a concerned expression, which made a little of Dean’s rising anxiety melt away.

At least he didn’t need to worry about getting gifts for Castiel or Gabriel. That would have really sent him into a panic. But it did mean that he had to make sure Anael’s gift was extra nice as a thank you for both the gift idea and for helping Dean to make them.

“I don’t know what to get for Anael or Jody,” Dean admitted, and gave his daddy a hopeful look. “Do you know what Anael would like?”

Under any other circumstances, the look of utter befuddlement on Castiel’s face would’ve been amusing. Dean just sighed, realizing that apparently there were some problems his daddy couldn’t solve after all. But he supposed that he should have expected that. Even after living on Earth for several months, the concept of material objects and their inherent value seemed to go over Castiel’s head.

“I’m afraid I don’t know,” Castiel said at last. “But your uncle might.”

Gabriel! Dean’s eyes lit up. Of course Gabriel would know. He’d dated that demigod Kali for a while, so he had to have some experience with women. And he’d spent enough time on Earth to have a better idea of what was appropriate.

“Where is he?” Dean asked, looking around like Gabriel might miraculously appear.

“He’s shopping, but he’s going to meet up with us in a little while. Why don’t we focus on someone else first?” Castiel suggested. “Sam, maybe? Or Bobby?”

“I don’t know what to get for them,” Dean said, downcast. “Normally I’d say that a good knife or a new gun would make a great gift for Bobby, but he’s really cut back on how much he’s hunting since he and Jody moved in together. So now I don’t know…” He shot Castiel a pout. “And you said no to my usual gift ideas for Sam.”

“Yes, I did, and I will continue to say no,” Castiel said dryly. “Sam likes to read, doesn’t he? Why don’t we go look through the bookstore?”

Dean shrugged. “Okay, sure.”

Castiel took his hand and they walked across the street together. Dean couldn’t help making a face as they walked into the bookstore; he’d never really enjoyed reading, and the sight of all those books just reminded him that Sam had left him behind again to go to university. In the end, Sam leaving hadn’t been a bad thing – but that didn’t mean the sting of it had fully gone away either.

“You could get Sam a copy of the Supernatural books. I’m sure he’d love to read them all,” Castiel said innocently, and Dean’s head whipped around so fast that he almost gave himself whiplash.

“No!” he said, horrified by the very thought.

“I was just kidding,” Castiel said, smiling. His eyes were twinkling.

“Not funny, Daddy,” Dean grumbled. He wanted to forget those dumb books existed. At least he could be sure that Castiel wouldn’t let anyone touch them. Who knew how many people wandered through Sam’s dorm room? The last thing they needed was people figuring out that Sam was the guy in the books!

“I bet Gabriel would think I’m funny,” said Castiel.

Dean maturely stuck his tongue out in reply and let go of Castiel’s hand to wander around a little, though he was conscious of Castiel following closely behind him. The bookstore wasn’t overly crowded at this time of day, which was nice: he still wasn’t overly comfortable with crowds.

Of course, there were also tons and tons of books. Dean slowly walked through the mysteries and the romances and the thrillers and the non-fiction, realizing that he genuinely had no idea what Sam liked to read. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had seen Sam reading for pleasure. The past few years of their lives had been wholly consumed with hunting, which meant that Sam usually had his nose stuck in some old tome. But even now, Sam usually had textbooks with him instead of books that you’d read for fun.

There was no way he was buying Sam a textbook for Christmas, even if that was what Sam might have wanted. He came to a stop before a thick wall of leather-bound books, realizing that they were journals, organizers, and agendas. Maybe that would be a good gift? Something to help keep Sam organized? He did used to like to read John’s journal a lot…

He picked up one that a red leather cover. It was soft and supple beneath his fingertips, and the cream-colored pages inside were good and thick. The inside had a calendar with several replaceable pages for notes, as well as two-page spreads dedicated to each week of the year. There was lots of space to write down assignments or exams or other commitments, and it even came with a little blue pen. It also zipped shut, so that anything that was stuck inside couldn’t fall out.

“What do you think?” he asked, turning to Castiel, before realizing that Castiel wasn’t there.

Dean froze.

He scanned the aisle, but he didn’t see his daddy anywhere.

His heart started to pound against his ribs.

“Daddy?” he whispered, his hands shaking. He tightened his grip on the organizer, holding it against his chest.

It was fine, he told himself.

They were in a bookstore. A brightly lit bookstore with plenty of other people who were not demons waiting to attack.

He just had to find Castiel.

He walked to the end of the aisle on legs that felt kind of weak and peeked around the corner.

There, looking at a display of children’s books, was Castiel.

Dean didn’t even think twice; he threw himself at his daddy.

“Daddy!” he cried out.

“Dean?” Castiel caught him up quickly, arms and wings wrapping securely around Dean. It was the sort of warm, snug embrace that Dean craved, and he buried his face in Castiel’s shoulder, shaking from head to toe.

There was a familiar tingle of grace, and then Gabriel was saying, “What happened? What’s going on?! I felt Dean’s distress.”

“I don’t know,” Castiel said, sounding bewildered. “He was looking at the books and then all of a sudden…” His hand slid comfortingly through Dean’s hair.

“I looked around and you weren’t there,” Dean whimpered. A little part of him was embarrassed for what was clearly an over-reaction. Castiel hadn’t disappeared; he’d stopped to look at some books and Dean had wandered away from him.

But at the same time, Dean couldn’t help himself.

“Oh, Dean, honey, I’m sorry. I was right here,” Castiel murmured. “I’m sorry I scared you.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Dean’s head.

Dean wanted to say that it was okay, but he couldn’t. He also wanted to tell Castiel that he was sorry for freaking out, but he couldn’t say that either. He turned tear-filled eyes on his uncle, who smiled back at him.

“It’s all good now, right?” Gabriel said, ruffling Dean’s hair. “How is the shopping going?”

“We picked out something for Charlie. Dean was looking for something for Sam,” Castiel told him.

Gabriel looked around and then stooped down. When he straightened, he was holding the organizer that Dean had picked up. Dean hadn’t even realized that he’d dropped it when he’d spotted Castiel.

“Was this what you picked out for Sammy?” Gabriel asked Dean.

Dean sniffed and nodded.

“It’s very nice,” Gabriel said. “I could emboss Sam’s name on the front of it if you like. Maybe in gold?” He smiled at Dean again.

After contemplating that for a moment, Dean nodded. He thought that Sam would like that, and gold lettering would look pretty against the red leather.

“I’m sure Sam will love it,” Castiel said, shifting around. Before Dean had the chance to panic, Castiel lifted him up. Dean wrapped his legs around Castiel’s waist automatically, clinging to him even tighter. He had lost interest in talking for now and tucked his thumb in his mouth.

“What had your attention, baby bro?” Gabriel asked Castiel.

“The children’s books. I thought some might be appropriate for Dean,” Castiel said, turning to look back at the display. Dean rested his head against his daddy’s wing as Gabriel and Castiel talked about the books. Their conversation was boring, but at least the books were very colorful and pretty to look at. They were in various languages, including Enochian.

Soon Dean found himself staring at the Harry Potter books. The series was a lot more interesting than he would have thought they’d be. He had bulked at them initially, thinking they were just kid’s books, but they weren’t. He and Castiel had finished the series a little while ago and they had since moved on to another series, but Dean would forever cherish those nights he spent in bed while Castiel’s comforting voice read him the tales of Ron, Hermione, and Harry.

Sam would probably like the series too. In fact, now that Dean was thinking about it, he was pretty sure he remembered Sam talking about it at one point. There might have even been a time when Sam had a ratty old copy of one of those books hidden in his duffel bag. What had happened to that book? Had Sam ever gotten the chance to finish it? Had he ever finished the series at all?

When was the last time Sam had read something just for fun?

Dean made a soft noise in the back of his throat. Both Gabriel and Castiel looked at him.

“What is it, kiddo?” Gabriel asked.

Dean looked at the display. Gabriel followed his gaze, raised an eyebrow, and pointed to a book at random. Dean shook his head. So Gabriel kept pointing at different books, with Dean shaking his head each time, until finally Gabriel’s finger was underneath the display for the Harry Potter books. It was a very nice collection, with a specially designed box to hold all seven books, and Dean nodded his head hard.

“We have those books already,” Castiel said, sounding a bit puzzled.

Dean shook his head again and pointed to the organizer that Gabriel was still holding. Understanding lit in Gabriel’s eyes and he gave Dean a proud smile as he picked the collection up.

“I think the kiddo wants to get these as part of Sam’s present,” Gabriel said.

“Ah,” Castiel said, now smiling too. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, Dean. Sam will like the books just as much as you did.” He hugged Dean again.

“So that’s Sammy and Charlie crossed off your list, you said?” Gabriel tucked the organizer and the collection of books beneath his arm. “Who’s next?”

Castiel looked at Dean, then back at Gabriel. “Why don’t we stop and have a break?” he suggested.

“I could go for a milkshake,” Gabriel said.

“You just had breakfast a couple of hours ago,” Castiel pointed out.

“That was then, and this is now!” Gabriel said, waving off that concern. “I’ll go pay for these and then I’ll meet you outside.” He winked at Dean and headed back up the aisle. Castiel followed but turned to go outside instead of towards the cash registers like Gabriel.

“I really am sorry, Dean,” he murmured as they stepped outside. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

It’s fine, Dean couldn’t say. Instead he tightened his grip around Castiel’s neck and hid his face against Castiel’s wing, hoping that Castiel would understand. Judging by the arms and wings that tightened around him, he thought that his daddy just might.