55. Chapter 55

His daddy and uncle were mean and stupid and Dean did not like them anymore.

He slumped forward, panting and fatigued from his struggles. When Castiel had first set him down in the swing, Dean hadn’t really understood what was going on. He’d dangled there like an idiot, legs forced embarrassingly wide by the plastic part between his thighs, feet skimming the ground, staring at Castiel in confusion. It was the kind of bucket swing that really little kids used on a playground because they didn’t have the core muscles necessary to hold themselves up on a regular swing, but which Dean didn’t need.

Castiel had clasped the tray around his waist and then stepped back, lifting his right hand to hit some kind of control. To say that Dean wasn’t happy when the swing bounced, causing his wings to flutter, was an understatement. He’d squeaked, hands clutching at the tray around his waist, half-expecting the swing to flip him ass over head. But whether due to the build of the bouncer or angelic mojo, he’d remained surprisingly steady.

Then Castiel walked away and left him. Dean was outraged. His first course of action was to grab for the arch overhead, but he couldn’t stretch far enough to reach it even when he braced his feet against the floor. His second was prying at the tray around his waist, but it remained stubbornly in place. And it only took him a few seconds to work out that he couldn’t remove the bucket swing without removing the tray, because they were hooked into each other.

Each time the swing bounced – it seemed to be set to move about once every thirty seconds, barely giving Dean the chance to rest between bounces – his wings moved accordingly. He couldn’t even figure out how to stop them. The muscles in his back quivered uselessly. Even reaching over his shoulder and physically grabbing his wings didn’t really help, because they twitched so much when the seat bounced that he might as well have not been holding onto them at all. Besides that, his wings were still sensitive enough that holding onto them hurt.

Needless to say, Dean was not a happy camper. Struggling so much had tired him out, and he was dismayed to find that the bucket swing was high enough that he couldn’t reach the floor even when he bent double. The tray prevented him from tipping forward, so the front bars were just out of reach. And apparently, while the stupid swing would go up and down with abandon, it wouldn’t move forwards or backwards. So he couldn’t even grab onto something to drag himself free.

Dean was well and truly stuck. He scowled as the bouncing kicked in again, straightening up and grabbing the ropes for better support. Trying to pull himself up the ropes didn’t work either. He had the upper body strength to do it, but the tray was just a little too snug around his waist and the diaper was too bulky to fit through. Squirming made the diaper, slightly damp from sweat, rub uncomfortably against his thighs and dick, and he finally slumped again.

The realization that he was well and truly stuck until Castiel came to free him did not sit well, especially because he couldn’t see his daddy. Dean lifted his head, looking at the door to the kitchen. Unfortunately, he was angled in such a way that he couldn’t see inside. He had no way of knowing whether Castiel was in there or not. He had to be, right? There was no way Castiel would lock him in here and leave.

“Daddy?” Dean called cautiously. There was no answer. Dean rubbed his thumb against his bottom lip, trying to ignore the first flutter of panicked unease. He’d mostly gotten over the terror of not having Castiel in his sight that had developed after they were attacked by the demons. But he wasn’t used to this kind of silence. Since this whole thing had started, Dean was very rarely left alone unless he was napping or sleeping. He tried to tell himself that it was fine, but the truth was that he didn’t like it. Especially not when he was trapped.

The bouncer bounced him again, jarring loose a sob. He muffled it by sliding his thumb in his mouth and sucking, staring intently at the kitchen. Where was Daddy? Why wasn’t he in the room? Did he know that Dean was mad? Dean wasn’t that mad. He didn’t like the bouncer, and he definitely didn’t like how little it made him feel, and his back and shoulders were aching, but he didn’t hate Daddy.

What if Daddy left?

That thought made his lungs squeeze tight in his chest. The room grew blurry as hot tears spilled over, rolling down his cheeks. Panic laced through him and Dean started to struggle again, unable to hold the gasped sobs back anymore. He wanted Daddy. He had to make sure that Daddy was still here –

“Dean!”

Dean started to cry in earnest as his daddy rushed across the room, holding his arms up. “Daaaddyyyy!” he wailed, fighting to get closer even as Daddy reached for the controls and switched them off. The bucket swing stilled, and when Daddy touched the tray it fell away like magic. He gripped Dean under the arms and lifted him up until Dean could get his arms around Daddy’s neck and cling to him, sobbing.

“Dean, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Daddy was running a hand up and down his back, feeling around the base of Dean’s wings for damage. The touch, soothing as it was, made his muscles ache worse, and Dean cried harder.

“Whoa, what’s all this?” Uncle Gabriel said from behind them.

“I don’t know. I was in the kitchen gathering grace for some bottles when I heard him start to cry. He was panicking.”

“Maybe he didn’t like being trapped.”

“Daddy gone,” Dean gasped out, tremors running through him. “Daddy –”

“What? Dean, I wasn’t gone. I was just in the kitchen.” Daddy tried to pry him away so that he could look at Dean, but Dean refused to let go. His cries escalated when Daddy persisted, so Daddy gave up and just let him cuddle closer. His wings wrapped around Dean’s lower body, holding him in place.

“I thought he’d want privacy for the bouncer because he’d be embarrassed,” Daddy said to Uncle Gabriel. He sounded distressed. “I didn’t think he thought I’d leave!”

“Maybe it was just too much at once,” Uncle Gabriel said. “He’s probably sore, even though he wasn’t in there very long.” He put a hand on Dean’s hair and stroked it comfortingly. Dean unclamped a hand from where it was clutching Daddy’s shirt to reach for him with a whimper. Uncle Gabriel shushed him and stepped closer, letting Dean grab onto his wing.

It took a long time for Dean to calm down. He had a headache by the time he finished crying himself out, and he laid limply in Daddy’s arms, one arm around Daddy’s neck and the other still holding onto Uncle Gabriel. They pried his hand free of Uncle Gabriel and Daddy carried him over to the couch, sitting down with Dean in his lap. Dean kept his eyes on Uncle Gabriel, uttering a wordless protest when Uncle Gabriel disappeared into the kitchen.

“Hey,” Daddy said, cupping his tear stained face and looking into Dean’s eyes. “Baby boy, it’s okay. We will never leave you alone. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“Daddy,” Dean whispered.

“I’m right here. It’s okay,” Daddy murmured. His voice rumbled through his chest where Dean’s ear was pressed, and it was comforting to hear. He closed his eyes and slipped his thumb into his mouth.

“Look who I found,” Uncle Gabriel said, walking back into the room. He was carrying a bottle filled with water in one hand and the kitten in the other. He set the kitten down on Dean’s lap. She stretched luxuriously, then sauntered up Dean’s chest, little claws leaving pin-pricks of pain in Dean’s skin. She perched there, blue eyes staring unblinking at Dean, then reached out a paw to tap him on the nose.

Dean giggled in spite of himself and heard Daddy and Uncle Gabriel chuckling. Daddy pulled him up a little, careful not to dislodge the kitten, and guided the nipple of the bottle into Dean’s mouth. He latched on, drinking the water eagerly. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he was until this moment, but his throat was dry and scratchy from crying. The water was wonderfully cool and helped to soothe the last of the panic, though being in Daddy’s arms and having Uncle Gabriel hovering nearby was most important.

“There you go,” Daddy said softly. “That’s my good boy. You’re doing so well, Dean.” He kept his eyes on Dean but spoke to Uncle Gabriel, adding, “I never expected him to react like that. I’m not sure the bouncer is such a good idea.”

“Don’t write it off, Cassie. This was a bad first experience yes, but Dean needs to exercise his wings. We both know that. Next time, one of us will just stay in the room with him.” Uncle Gabriel sat down beside them and wrapped his wing around Daddy’s shoulders, mostly silver feathers mixing with Daddy’s black feathers.

Daddy sighed. “I was so sure he’d want privacy.”

“It wasn’t a bad thought. Any other time, he probably would. This is a stubborn, proud Winchester we’re talking about, right baby boy?” Uncle Gabriel tapped Dean’s nose, just like the kitten had. Dean wrinkled his nose and batted his hand away, swallowing the last of his water.

“Is your back sore?” Daddy asked.

Dean didn’t have to think very hard before nodding. His muscles, particularly those in his upper back, were very sore. It reminded him of when John would put him and Sammy through training when they were kids. Sometimes the training was so intense that Dean would end up throwing up or blacking out. And it always ended with pain of some kind, whether it was aching muscles or a sprained ankle or powder burns on their hands from holding the gun wrong.

John hadn’t possessed much sympathy. His answer was usually either telling them to man up, or – on days when Sam’s tears got to him – a bottle of Tylenol chucked in Dean’s direction. The pain lessened as they got used to the intensity of the training, though even now there were days when Dean would feel the burn if he hadn’t worked out in a while. Or at least he used to. He blinked up at Daddy.

Castiel. Not Daddy. What had Dean been thinking? He wasn’t supposed to be calling Castiel ‘Daddy’ inside his own head! Was he? Dean frowned as Daddy smiled down at him, eyes crinkling at the corners. He was confused now. He knew that he shouldn’t be thinking of Castiel this way, but Castiel was his daddy now. It was embarrassing, but… was it bad to let that barrier melt away?

“Turn over. I’ll rub your back a little bit. That will help.” Daddy – no, Castiel set the empty bottle aside and put his hands on Dean’s shoulders, mojoing Dean’s shirt away. Uncle Gabriel scooped the kitten up and held her on his lap as he helped Dean to roll over without falling and placed his hands on Dean’s bare upper back. Dean slipped his thumb in his mouth, tensing a little in the expectation of pain.

But it didn’t hurt, not really. Da – Castiel knew just where the worst of the knots were and he dug the tips of his fingers in unerringly, rubbing just hard enough that it stung. Dean relaxed with a shaky breath, letting Daddy massage the worst of the tension and pain away. It felt even better when Uncle Gabriel took Dean’s free hand and put it on the kitten, encouraging him to pet her in the same way. The kitten immediately began to purr, her fuzzy body shifting beneath Dean’s fingers.

“I think we’ll give you a hot bath tonight,” Daddy said, trailing his fingers down Dean’s spine. “Would you like that?”

Dean nodded. “No bouncer,” he added around his thumb, just in case Daddy hadn’t gotten the idea. Just looking at the bouncer made his tummy do flip flips. He shivered and huddled a little closer to Daddy.

Daddy laughed a little. “Not today, but we’ll try again tomorrow. You want to be able to fly to heaven someday, right?”

“No,” Dean said, shaking his head. He was perfectly content on Earth.

“But just think,” Uncle Gabriel said, leaning down to grin conspiratorially. “If you don’t learn how to fly, you won’t be able to scare the pants off Sam by showing up behind him when he’s not expecting it.”

“Gabriel!” Daddy said.

Dean considered this. Okay, that was pretty tempting. But still – “It hurts,” he said in a small voice, feeling very stupid. He was a hunter. He was used to pain. Clearly, they had been babying him too much. He braced himself for Gabriel to laugh again and tell him to man up.

Instead, Gabriel just gave him a tender smile. “I know it does, kiddo. And you have no idea how much your daddy and I wish we could spare you that. But if you give it a chance, I promise it’ll get better. Soon you’ll be able to flap your wings and it won’t hurt at all.” He ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Getting to that point might suck, but it’s all worth it.”

“Okay,” Dean whispered. He wasn’t sure, but Daddy and Uncle Gabriel wanted it and he wanted to make them happy.

“Okay,” Uncle Gabriel agreed, still smiling sadly. “Now close your eyes and let Cassie rub your aches away. I’ll get supper on.”

“Pie?” Dean said hopefully, peeking up at him. Uncle Gabriel was nodding almost before the word was out.

“One pie for our brave little boy, coming your way.”