Growing up

(A/N): I know you guys have not been liking the MC so far but I assure you it's all a part of the plan! I didn't plan to make him likeable and an all-knowing God from the start. I don't believe a person could just part with their regrets or past life that easily. They need to go through change, and that change isn't that easy. I know he's been acting like a young dumbass but that's the whole thing of growing up, in his past life Anthony didn't get the chance to grow up at his own pace. He was just kinda thrust into adulthood. But now he has that second chance to try again. Thank you for reading :3

When I re-entered Diagon Alley he spotted a familiar face. It was Miss. Humongous rear and her grandson were walking along the alley. They were currently heading to the Floo Network to Floo back home. I was just about to follow them towards the Floo hearth when Neville's grandma did a full 180-degree turn with her head like an owl.

''Oh it's you kid!'' I quickly hid my bloody hand behind my back and tried to wipe it clean as sneakily as possible. Ms. Longbottom found my behaviour strange but didn't mention anything. ''Meet my grandson Neville, he's an idiot''

A very odd way to introduce your grandson but alas, it was the truth. ''Hello I'm Neville Longbottom. And you are?'' the weedlover asked me. I seemed to be a year older than Neville. Which was a huge positive. It meant that he could prepare some things before the canon happened. It also meant he had less time to screw up the whole timeline, but he was sure that he already had thrown the story off balance.

After all, every action had its consequences and I had been very busy today. ''Hello I'm Anthony'' I replied, not giving the walking fiasco much attention. ''Just Anthony?'' The little shit got me there. I have to give him that.

I hadn't paid enough attention to my family to know what my last name was but I couldn't clearly recall my family ever telling me. I had to investigate when I got back home. If I didn't get grounded into oblivion of course.

Even though a lot of events had happened not much time had passed. I wasn't really trying to waste time and did things as quickly as possible. Even if he was interfered with his shopping by the local paedophile.

''Yeah just Anthony, but I'm sorry Neville, Miss. Longbottom. I must depart, my parents are probably expecting me''

I was just about to leave them and finally relax a little when Ms. Longbottom spoke up. ''If you don't mind me bothering you Anthony, but I noticed that you hadn't bought any medicine while we were out shopping. I was wondering if you forgot to buy it?''

Oh fuck! The medicine, why were both the Longbottoms so attentive all of the sudden? I conjured up the quickest lie I could think of ''Yes I've bought it while we were seperated but I did enjoy you escorting me Miss. Longbottom''

I bowed and quickly left the premise. I didn't want them to grow wary of my lies and to be honest I had gone away for far too long. His parents were probably worried sick. Before he departed felt like a couple of eyes were staring at him. But when he turned around he only saw a black shade rushing away.

But it was too late to investigate. I had to return home immediately. I quickly got to the hearth and yelled my address ''Lillie Road 5!'' When I got home there was only my dad sitting at the dinner table. He didn't seem to be eating anything though. He kept his eyes on me at all times.

When I put a couple of steps forward I heard the noises of a roaring fire behind me and my mother stepped out of the hearth. There was a killer's instinct on her face. Like she would pull out my guts and would stitch me back up to slowly take them out again.

I linked the shade to my mum and now knew she was the one following me. I immediately dropped to my hands and knees and started begging for my life ''I'm sorry mum! It shan't never happen again!'' My mum only seemed to grow angrier by my reaction.

She scooped up a bit of air but finally began her tirade ''ANTHONY! What in merlin's beard do you think you were doing! You weren't allowed to go to Diagon's Alley and you know it! We were worried sick thinking something happened to you!''

I quickly hid my bruised knuckles behind my back but unfortunately my mum didn't fail to notice. She grabbed my arm, almost tearing my arm out of my socket in the process and inspected my knuckles.

I at first thought my mum wasn't capable of changing her skin color but I saw her grow more red by the minute. She bared her fangs at me in annoyance and continued her heartfelt rage ''Do you even take into account other people's feelings Anthony?! It's time to grow up Anthony! If you want to take the risks of an adult you're also bearing the burdens of an adult''

Tears streamed down my mum's face but she continued talking ''I love you my little bat. But please before you risk anything again. Think of me, think of our family. Your actions have been so self-centered lately and you haven't been talking as much as you used to. You just hide in your dad's study and do Merlin knows what!''

''It's time to break out of your stupor and think! The world isn't as black and white as you might think. But please Anthony, it's time to use that big brain of yours and think. Before you kill yourself'' My mum broke down and sat on a chair. Holding her head whilst weeping. And it broke my heart.

And finally it clicked in my mind. I was still treating this life like a throw-away life. Like a second chance at living wasn't a rare occasion. I didn't appreciate the people who cared for me and read me bedtime stories, I didn't appreciate the person who cooked me my meals or made me laugh.

I had been an idiot, a real Gryffindor, and it was time to change. I didn't realise that I was loved. I still clung on the past and didn't appreciate those who loved me in the now. I thought it was natural, who doesn't love their child. But love goes both ways. And I had forgotten that. And it's not that I had forgotten that recently but it was possible that I had already forgotten it in my past life.

Maybe my past friends and family were right. Maybe I was selfish, lazy, puny and all the other names they called me. I thought that if I just changed my attitude I could change but the problem seemed to be rooted far deeper than I thought.

After all every person has their internal struggle to overcome but I had just shelved it to the side and ignored it. I thought if I ignored it for long enough it would go away but that was most definitely not the case.

I was always scared of loving, when a man learns to love, he must bear the risk of hatred. But I had skipped the loving part and went straight to hatred. I only loved myself and no other person. I always thought that other people weren't competent enough to deserve my trust but I still craved their attention. I was a mess of a person.

But God had given me a second chance. He had seen potential in me. It was time to look inwards and ask myself the big question: who am I and what do I want? Luckily I had all of the time in the world to figure that out. Because I sure as hell didn't plan on leaving anytime soon.

I can't believe that I'm 29 years old but still act like a teenager, I make rash, life-threatening decisions that could throw away my life instantly. I had to take life seriously, and I definitely would. You'd think a guy who worked a law firm would be a little smart but right now I acted like my age. That of an 8 year old.

It was time to learn for me to love. The risk of bearing hatred was a risk he was willing to take. It was time to leave behind my old shell of a human being and become complete. I had to be open for criticism and now close down like a shell. I had this old mantra, it was a quote from Plutarch: Know how to listen and you will profit even from those who talk badly.

I saw that quote daily. Daily! But I hadn't thought about what it actually meant. But now I know. It was time to grow up and learn to shoulder other people's pain. This is quite possibly my only chance to redeem myself and for the last 8 years I had been throwing it away. But no more!

Tears were streaming down my face but they weren't for me. They were for my past life and my family from then. How naive I had been. And I was repeating it all over again. I finally met my mother's gaze and spoke.

''Please forgive me, mum, I'm s-so s-s-sorry'' I was struggling to complete my sentence. It was hard to talk through the tears, the first time I've actually cried. Not that pretense I did in my past life but now. For the first time ever, I felt a real emotion.

''Come here my little bat'' My mother spoke softly. I ran to her arms and hugged her. I hugged all my bad feelings away and started wailing. Like how a normal person would release their feelings.

''Of course I forgive you silly, I just wanted to make you realise how much I love you. If I could I would make life as easy as I could for you. But life doesn't always turn out how we want it to be, but that's okay, tomorrow is another day to try again''

My mum might be the wisest woman on the planet. She single handedly created my new mantra. I looked at her with new eyes. Eyes full of love. And then I looked at my dad, who was hiding his tears.

''I love you too dad'' I ran up to my dad and hugged him. ''I love you too Anthony, be sure to never forget that'' I looked around, at my dad, at my mum, at the table, all the little things and I noticed. That if you look really carefully. That life isn't as bleak as it seems. Everything has its own colors. And they never fade, because of their willpower, and their love.

After a lot of crying and a lot of ''I love you's'' I attempted to lighten the mood a little. ''So I presume because I learned an important lesson, I won't have to be grounded or do any tasks''

My mum's face was suddenly as serious as she could be. She gave me a deadpanned expression. ''Just because you learned your lesson doesn't mean you shouldn't be punished!''

My mum smiled after she said that though. She seemed to be relieved I actually learned my lesson and I sure as hell would make up for all my errors. Next thing I knew my mum gave me a whole list stretching from the dinner table all the way to China with all the little things I had to do to make it up to her.

It seemed like this wasn't as easy that I thought it would be. The whole being reborn thing and all. But I didn't mind. At least I actively participated in my life now and actually started to feel things, and dearly loved my parents.

Changing my ways would certainly be a productive activity and I don't know how much magic stuff I could get done but I decided that might be for the best. It might be best to enjoy life as it is now.

And I certainly had much changing to do, I didn't want to end up in Gryffindor after all. I certainly didn't have the luck of one.