Cooking with Ei is...

Disastrous?

Cringe/Nonsense chapter!

Of course, Errors is guaranteed.

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The three arrived at the Sky Castle and walked inside it. Yae jumped off from Ei's head and transformed into her Humanoid form.

"I'm hungry."She walked towards the kitchen and she didn't care about their response. The trio looked at her and shrugged their shoulders ad they followed Yae. They weren't really that hungry as Velschat and Barbatos didn't really need to eat but they're just used to eating three times a day, so eating in night is part of their lives now.

The four arrived at the kitchen, the other three just sat on the chair and let Yae cook the food but Velschat said something that made Ei wanted to get out of the place immediately.

"It's been a thousand year now but I haven't seen you cooking.."Velschat turned his head to Ei.

"Ye, I wanna taste her cooking to!"Barbatos said.

"...."Ei looked at them nervously since she didn't know how to cook, she trained hard secretly but she still couldn't, she even asked her Yae to teach her even if it damaged her pride since Yae was her pet, and she was the master. But even that, she still couldn't cook, it was as if, the whole world wouldn't allow it. She started sweating and nervously said:

"Are you guys sure that you wanted me to cook?"

"Yes?"2x The duo synched and noticed her hesitation but they didn't know why.

"Are you guys sure you will eat my cooking?"

"Yes? I mean why not?"Velschat answered.

"Yeye! Let's taste your cooking!"Barbatos was excited to taste her cooking.

"Promise?"

"Yes."2x.

Ei nodded and walked towards Yae who was chopping something and noticed Ei, she then started sweating when she saw her walking towards her and looked at the other two with blameful eyes. But she then thought of something.

'Not like I'm going to be the one that will be eating her food.'Yae inwardly smiled.

The duo noticed her look but they couldn't understand why.

'Did I do something?'They had the same thought.

...

..

.

Moments Later.

Velschat looked at the food on top of the table and smiled warily. The food was moving as if, it has life and the black thingy that he didn't know what it was, is bubbling.

And the food is giving a vibe of...

Death..

'How could a food like this exist?!?! It looked more deadly than a poison!!'Velschat regretted his decision to let Ei cook and looked at Yae who was just casually eating the food she cooked. She noticed his look and smiled smugly. She made a little 'Heh' and continued eating. Veins bulged on Velschat's head because he finally knew that Yae knows Ei couldn't cook from the start, but why didn't she warned me? it's so simple for God's sake!

"Is this your cooking?"He said and looked at Ei nervously. It was obvious that it was her cooking but maybe if he said that, he would be able to escape from hell.

"?!?!"Ei woke up from her thoughts about what if Velschat wouldn't like her cooking or what if he would.

"Yes?"She answered.

"... I see..."Velschat didn't know what to say after and just gave up. He took a plate and get a few spoons from Ei's food, and puts it in his plate.

'It's not like I'm going to pass out or anything-'

Bang!

Velschat was about to eat a spoon of Ei's cooking but the three heard a small 'bang!' from Barbatos' direction.

"...."3x Silence developed in the area when they saw him pass out, while his mouth was bubbling a black 'thingy' and it was from Ei's food.

Velschat started getting more nervous since he knew that Barbatos wouldn't die even if he was poisoned by the deadliest poison in the world. But he passed out from Ei's cooking!

How the fuck is that even possible?!?!

For God's Sake!! Barbatos is a Wisp!!

He started rethinking things like 'what did I so to deserve this?' ans if he wasn't cut off, he might rethink about how useless his existence is.

"Is he okay?"Ei was the one who cut him off.

Yae and Velschat looked at her at the same time.

'What the fuck, she didn't know that it was her fault?'The two thought at the same time.

And Ei was really confused on why Barbatos passed out...

Because it didn't happen when Yae and her tasted it...

What she didn't know was that, every time she learned more about cooking, the more bad her cooking will be...

And she had been learning for the past thousand year...

I guess it's curse for every purple haired woman?

"Yea, I think he's fine."Yae said mischievously. She thought that if Ei would know that it was her fault, she would stop Velschat from eating.

And she didn't want that.

So she used her brain to the max.

'What are you saying idiot!!'Velschat looked at her angrily.

"Why aren't you eating yet Master?"She ignored his look.

"Ahh.... I'm not hungry you see.... So... hahaha~"He tensely said and laughed awkwardly but he was still throwing daggers to Yae, he wanted to avoid Ei from getting hurt because of her, being bad at cooking, after all.

"Eh? but you promised to eat them..."She looked down a bit depressed.

"No! Even if I'm not hungry, I'm going to eat it okay! I'm a man of words so I'm going to keep my promise!"He took a the spoon that already had Ei's food in it and ate it.

Num* Num.

"Mhm."He nodded and continued:

"It isn't bad at all-"

Bang!

He lost his conscious and banged his face on the plate.

...

..

.

.

..

...

Place???

Time???

In a place where you couldn't see anything but stars from afar. Thirteen non Humanoid beings was floating in space.

Their shapes was...

To those of that monsters...

"Father said that we need to have another names if we want a Humanoid form."Said by one of them.

"So we'll just give ourselves another name, and use it from now on, other than the names that Father gave us?"

"Yes, I don't really know why but Father said that, it's part of the System that he made."

"Is that really it? isn't it to easy."

"Well, yea? I mean it's good that it's easy."

"Don't mind, Kong, he just liked challenges."

"Tsk, you guys never understands me."The small gorilla so called Kong snorted.

"I don't really know what's happening here... But looked at Ghidora's left head."All of the non Humanoid beings looked at a certain small three headed Dragon.

"He looked like he found his long last idol."A huge lizard said but in truth, his age wasn't different from a baby.

"Don't say something like that Zil, I also don't understand my left head."The three headed Dragon or so called Ghidora, his middle said. His left head was looking at Kong with stars in his eyes, that even Kong himself got creeped out, his reaction was really the opposite of someone discovered that they had admirers.

"Whatever, should we name ourselves now?"The huge lizard or the nicknamed Zil said.

The other twelve nodded and started thinking names for them to have Humanoid forms.

"Aha! I will be %@$%#!"Said by a large butterfly.

"Nice choice Mothra, or from now on %@%#$."Zil nodded and also named himself.

"Mine will be %@%#."He also named himself as the others also did the same. They then started getting child Humanoid figure that would look like in his/her 6 to 7.

Only the three headed Dragon and a huge black snake was left. They might be super big in others common sense but their age wasn't different from a baby.

The Black Snake that had a green eyes while on her head was horns but it looked more like a crown. She came towards Ghidora and started slowly and softly strangling him with her body.

"What is it Ouroboros?"He just said casually as if he didn't mind that he's being strangled.

(I don't know if Ouroboros is in the Monsterverse but I added her for some super special reason :))

"I want you to name me."

"...."2x Ghidora's golden Dragon eyes met her green snake eyes.

"It's fine for me."

"That's good to hear."

"Then... Your name shall be..."He paused for seconds when he was thinking for her name and finally said:

"Mobius."

...

..

.

.

..

...

Velschat woke up from the strange dream that he got and started massaging his temple.

"What the hell is that food?"He thought that how could a simple deadly food/poison can give him a strange dream.

"Did Ei putted drugs on that food?"He said and denied it immediately since he knew that Ei wouldn't do something like that, and she probably doesn't know that something like 'drugs' exist.

Of course he don't do drugs in his past life! He only heard its existence in the news okay!

'Cia.'He asked Cia.

[Yes, Master?]

'Did you know that I just got a strange dream today?'

[What dream master?]

'So you don't know?'

[I don't know of what, Master?]

'....'He didn't ask Cia about that topic further because it seems that she really didn't have any idea about that strange dream.

That doesn't mean he's going to let it slide though.

'What happened when I was unconscious?''

[Ei and Yae carried you to your room.....]She explained the rest of what happened.

Velschat looked at his left bed side and saw Ei, he turned to the right side and saw Yae. Both of them was sleeping peacefully so he didn't disturb them and also slept...

But he didn't forget to put his two hands on their thighs of course....

...

..

.

Slap!

"Ouch! What are you doing so early-"

Slap!

"Ouch!"

Velschat was punishing Yae for not telling him that Ei is super expert on making poisons. Her stomach was resting in his thigh so he could slap her ass easily.

Ei was already out of the room and took a bath so they are the only people in the room, Yae was a sleepy head after all, so she woke up late and thus, she woke up from the slap and in this position.

Slap!

"Sta-"

Slap!

"Ouch!"Her eyes started getting teary and looked at her Master with those eyes. She looked so pitiful.

Velschat stopped for a moment when he noticed her look, he smiled and said:

"Did you forget that I'm also your master?"

"I didn't! Of course!"Though, it wouldn't happen but even if she surpass Velschat, her loyalty towards her Master wouldn't fade. It's just that, a Fox's mischievous trait wouldn't just go somewhere away from her after all.

Slap!

"Ouch! I said stop!"

"Then why didn't you tell me that Ei couldn't cook? or rather, he made a poison for me."

"It was your fault!"

"How so?"

"Master Ei wasn't planning to cook for you from the start! But you asked her to!"

"Mhm... Now that I think of it... You're right about that..."

Those words made Yae relief but...

It was only for a moment.

"Sike! That's the wrong answer.'

Slap!

"Ouch!"

"I was asking the reason why you didn't tell me that Ei couldn't cook."

Velschat punished Yae for minutes until she fully admitted her sins...

...

..

.

Yae stands up from his thigh and rubbed her butt. She looked at her master with angry and teary eyes.

"Aight, let me heal you, come here."He raised his two arms and made a position to made it looked like he's ready to recieve a hug. Yae came towards him as she knew that he had the ability to turn anything into gold, so pains and bruises wasn't excluded. She felt a two hands in her butt as her pain slowly fading.

"...."But he didn't remove his hands even though she's fully healed, which made her deadpanned at him.

She didn't refute and sighed as she said:

"Why haven't you touched me yet, Master?"

"What do you mean? I'm touching you right now look."

Yae felt his grip to her ass got stronger.

"You probably know what I mean so don't play dumb Master."

"...."He didn't know what to say for a moment because he was taken back on her seriousness right now.

"We've been together for a thousand year but why do you ask now?"

"You're fucking Master Ei like a rabbit once a week, and it's getting annoying now, but at the same time I'm also jealous."

"....I'm worried about her feelings."Velschat answered.

"You know how emotional she is right?"He continued and gave a chuckle after when he remember the time they were still kids.

"....I see... It will take a long time for me to be accepted right?"

"Probably... But."He removed his hands to her ass and puts it to her cheeks.

"That doesn't mean we can't do this though."He made her face come closer to his, as their lips met.

Yae didn't say anything and enjoyed it, she circled her arms on his neck and then felt a tongue forcing itself to come inside her mouth, she let it in, and rolled her eyes from the sensation and the pleasure it gave.

Lewd sound from their kisses lasted seconds in the whole room until the kiss broke, it made a string of saliva as they looked at each other calmly.

"This isn't different from cheating."Yae said.

"I won't say anything about that."

"It's probably because your common sense is broken."

"Probably."

The two of them chuckled after and continued flirting for minutes until they goes outside the room and saw Barbatos that was still sleeping in the couch since Yae and Ei was too lazy to put him in his room.

...

..

.

Few years later.

The trio looked at the baby in Hu Jintao's arms.

"My wife gave birth to her yesterday. The three of you could have come since we made a little celebration."

"Your invitation is pretty much appreciated but can we know...?"Venti looked at the baby with questioning face since he didn't know if it was a girl or a boy.

"Her, she's a 'her' and her name is Hu Tao.'

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I'm shameless. So give me all your powastone! It would also encourage me writing and at the same time you will receive my Eternal LOVE!

Also!! Hu Tao is not going to be part of the harem!! She will be like a daughter to the mc!!

[Convince me here if you want her to be one of the harem.]