21: Ninjas~! Neat~!

[AN: Apologies for not posting a chapter on Tuesday. Something personal came up that disrupted my schedule. It's been resolved now though and I don't really anticipate any other interruptions to my regular updates. As compensation, enjoy some more Didi pictures :) ]

Kara's visit got me thinking. It was successful. Kara was, and I think always would be, a delight. It was nearly impossible to hate her. She was just so positive and wholesome.

Barbara called her 'farm-girl'. As in the female equivalent of 'farm-boy'. It fit. I knew she didn't grow up on the Kent Farm like Clark — Kal as she called him. She had a whole life — up until 15 or 16 — she remembered from Krypton. Despite being Barbara's age, she was chronologically and technically older than Clark.

But after being all but adopted by Ma and Pa Kent, Kara took to the farm-girl lifestyle rather well. She practically embodied the All-American, girl-next-door vibes. Fair of skin and hair. Sweet as sugar. Kind to a fault. She was — put simply — a wonderful woman.

I quite liked the innocently wholesome Kryptonian girl. What was there not to like? Didi seemed to agree with my opinion of her. Despite looking like polar opposites, they got along dangerously well.

Seriously, that amount of kindness in a friendship would kill even the blackest of hearts. Perhaps literally in Didi's case. They were both just so damn nice it was almost scary.

They got along like a house on fire. And it was certainly amusing to see one of the most goth girls I'd ever met and one of the perkiest become fast friends. After I introduced them to distract Didi from my foolish reincarnating youth (something that was only partially successful), Barbara and I could only watch in amusement.

Honestly, Barbara seemed kind of envious that Kara could talk to Death so casually. She did a pretty good job of that for herself but it wasn't hard to tell that she was still a bit uncomfortable with the truth of Didi's identity. It was somewhere between star-struck and subtly terrified.

Eventually, Barbara was naturally sucked back into Kara's orbit and Alice was dragged into their conversation as well by Didi. She was her usual snarky self, even with Supergirl. But I think she enjoyed having girls close to her age to talk to. Good. Making friends with Barbara and Kara would be good for Alice.

Didi was currently in the process of enrolling Alice in Gotham High. Alice had protested, of course. What teenager wanted to go back to school if they could help it? Doubly so when that teenager had magic powers and thought herself above the mundanity.

Still, Didi's decision was firm. And with how much Alice looked up to her new mother, it didn't take much for her to agree. She still grumbled, for sure, but she needed the social structure and education that high school would offer her. It wasn't like she was making friends her age here at the bar.

Alice was doing well enough at the Dead End. But she was a bit removed from actual friendships at the moment. Hopefully, meeting Barbara again and meeting Kara would change that. They'd even exchanged numbers before Kara and Barbara left for the night.

Anyway… Kara's visit got me thinking. So far, the Dead End and I had stuck mostly to Gotham. There were exceptions, of course. Alice and the wizards mostly. I wasn't sure if I should count Delirium as part of the greater DC universe. She and the rest of the Endless were kind of removed from the norm, what with them being, well, Endless.

Kara was the first hero from outside Gotham to visit. And I knew that others would inevitably follow. I was sure Superman would be paying me a visit soon enough. Maybe with the shovel speech. Batman had undoubtedly shared information about me, Didi, and the bar with the other heroes. Kara was just the first to actually visit.

So I began to think about expansion. It'd been on my mind for a while. Expanding had always been in the cards, ever since I'd opened the Dead End. But I had been content to contain myself to just Gotham for the time being.

I still had ideas though. And it seemed that now was as good a time to put them in motion as any. Maybe I could even get the jump on the Justice League and cause a bit of chaos before they realized what was going on.

Putting my ideas into motion wasn't exactly hard. It took a bit of work but not hard work. All I had to do was skip a day of sleep. It wasn't much of a loss when I didn't technically need to sleep. I just liked to. Sleep — especially sleeping with someone like Didi at my side — was one of the little things you learned to enjoy after even a single life and death.

But with Didi arranging Alice's schooling — which could only be done effectively during the daytime for some reason —, I had nothing better to do than put my idea for expansion into effect. Again, the work for that was simple. I just had to do a bit of… traveling.

Figuring out which of my many, many teleport spells worked best in this universe was a bit of effort but after that, I was off to the races. The fact that my most effective spell turned out to be a basic link between two spaces helped immensely once I'd started.

I spent the day teleporting to major cities that I knew hosted heroes or interesting villains. The general population of Gotham visiting the Dead End was enough for me. While the bar could handle it, I didn't need the mundane business that, say, NYC brought me. For such a large city, New York had a surprising lack of capes.

No, I focused on cities that would bring me entertainment in some way. Metropolis and even Smallville for Superman and those in his orbit. Central City for Flash and his Rogues. Star City, Los Angeles, San Fransisco, London, Tokyo, etc. I mostly stuck to America but I did branch out here and there. The language barrier would be overcome easily in the Dead End.

In each city, I stopped to create something. A doorway that connected back to the front door of the bar. With a neon sign above each one that said 'Dead End' because the imagery made me snicker. I also weaved a subtle spell over my additional entrances. Something like a 'Someone Else's Problem' field that excluded only the people I would find interesting.

I didn't need normal people freaking out when they saw the clientele the Dead End catered to. The people of Gotham were one thing. They were used to a bit of Madness because of the city they lived in. Some guy from LA or Metropolis would probably have a panic attack dealing with half the things Gothamites saw regularly, especially within the Dead End.

My expansion efforts went largely unnoticed. The only time I felt eyes on me was in LA. And Lucifer seemed more amused than at all threatening. The doorway I left there was practically an open invitation for him. Maybe he'd come visit me and Didi soon.

In fact, while I was in town, I might as well leave him a message. Nothing special. Just an introduction and an invitation from me and Didi. If I was understanding their relationship correctly, Didi and Lucifer were quite civil with each other. Delirium even called him 'Big Bro'. Honestly, other than the whole Devil business, Lucifer seemed like a remarkably likable guy.

I left my message next to the door I'd created. A spell masked it like the door. Only this one was attuned to the cosmic being I could still feel watching me from the distance. Omniscience was a bitch to work around. He'd probably read the message already.

Oh well, I shrugged. Nothing more to it. He'd visit when and if he felt like it. I wasn't about to try and control the Devil. I can't say I've done that before and I didn't want to start with this version of him. There weren't many worse versions to try that on than the Lucifer here in this reality.

I waved at nothing as I left LA. The sensation of being watched seemed to laugh. Then I stepped through the door I'd made and ended up back in the Dead End. The sensation followed me for a moment before backing off with amusement. As if the Devil was raising a glass for me.

The Dead End hadn't opened for the night. I'd have to do that soon enough here. I'd started late but my expansion had taken most of the day. I wasn't expecting anyone of note to find those doors for a little while now. It'd be a nice surprise to have new patrons when they did though.

I stopped to examine my domain for a moment. Didi and Alice were still out. Ivy was growing more stock for her shop, last I checked. Croc and Grundy were settling into the apartments I'd made for them in the Colosseum.

Freeze and Nora were neck-deep in research. It seemed to be going… well if the amount of frost and smoke obscuring them from view in their little lab was anything to go by. It looked like Nora had finally cracked her hypothermia equation and was now taking full advantage of it with her husband. Good for them.

Feeling it in full, I had quite the faction growing here. What started with just me and Didi had grown to include a whole team of villains who didn't have to turn to crime anymore. They were all contributing positively to society in their own ways now. It always felt good when I built something unique like this.

The only one in our little faction who wasn't busy at the moment was Harley. She was sitting on top of the bar, very pointedly pretending to ignore the Joker's reflection. And it seemed she was getting immense visceral glee out of that process. Her grin as she filed her nails and utterly ignored his attempts to get her attention said it all.

Even now, the Joker's legend DIED slowly. Soon enough, he'd just be a clown in a mirror. And every time she looked into his mirror prison, Harley couldn't keep the wicked smile off her face. The only one who could hope to match Harley's joy and satisfaction when it came to messing with the Joker was Jason.

Who just so happened to also be visiting the bar at the moment. He was sat next to Harley, reading a book as if nothing was amiss. Their apparent ignorance of him was a one-two punch for the Joker. Not even the boy he'd killed humored him anymore.

"Harley. Jason," I greeted pleasantly as I walked over to the bar and started doing my usual pre-opening checks. "What are the two of you up to?"

"Oh, you know, Gothboy~" Harley singsonged. "Just enjoying each other's company. We seem to have a lot in common for some reason."

"It's truly a mystery," Jason joined with a hum. "Perhaps we'll never figure it out."

I chuckled at their antics, "Sounds about right. I'm sure the original reason isn't important anymore."

"What about you, Gothboy~?" Harley grinned. "What have you been up to today?"

"A little project of mine. If it works out, we should be seeing more business around here soon enough," I said, leaving out what exactly that project was.

"You don't see enough business here already?" Jason asked, raising an eyebrow at me as he looked up from his book.

I shrugged, "I just like a bit of variety. Are you on the clock tonight, Jason?"

He sighed in relief, "No, I'm taking the night off. I have a date with this book — Grains: Civilization's Starchy Backbone. But other than that, I don't have any plans."

"Why don't you hang around here for a bit~?" Harley suggested excitedly. "I'll take the night off too~!"

It was my turn to raise an eyebrow, "You sure Ivy will approve of you slacking off?"

Harley waved a hand, "Ehh, it'll be fine. I've been putting in enough time at the shop lately. Appointments have been slow anyway. And I'm not happy that I've missed the last few stories outta you, Gothboy~!"

"You'll have to cut back on your hours then. We wouldn't want little ol' you to feel left out, would we~?" I teased.

"Damn skippy, buster~!" Harley shot right back. "Red told me about your time with Supergirl. Can't believe I missed that one~! That Megamind fella sounds like my kind of supervillain ~!"

Jason looked at both of us in surprise, "Kara was here?"

"Yep," I nodded. "She came by last night with Babs. I gave her a nice story of subversion and a bit of something to think about."

"Damn, it's always a shame to miss her," Jason shook his head. "She's great. Do you know if she's still in town?"

"I don't think so. Pretty sure she went back home. Not that it matters all that much when she can be anywhere in the world in less than an hour. Why do you ask?"

"You've just got to be careful when Kara and Dick are in the same city. I think she's still a bit touchy about how bad their one date went."

"Whaaaaat~?!" Harley exclaimed with a grin. "OG Boy Wonder and Supergirl have a history~? I smell gossip~! C'mon, Hoodie, dish~!"

Jason chuckled, "Not much to 'dish'. They went out once. It didn't go all that well. Nothing major. The two of them just didn't click like that. I'm pretty sure they're still friends but they wouldn't work out as a couple. At all."

"Dickie really gets around, huh~?" Harley giggled.

"You have no idea," Jason deadpanned. "Honestly, who doesn't he have a history with?"

"Hey!" Harley pretended to be offended. "I haven't gotten into those tights!"

"No offense, Harley," Jason started hesitantly. "But… even Dick has limits when it comes to sticking his… well, dick in crazy."

Harley continued playing up her indignation, "Oi~! Red and Gothboy haven't complained yet~!"

"To be fair, I don't think Sean functions on the same sense of reason as the rest of us," Jason joked.

I chuckled, "I really don't. I've never been one to subscribe to the whole 'crazy' to 'worth it' scale. Comes with the territory when you stop being afraid of death. Some of my best relationships were with batshit crazy girls. And I can only think of one time off the top of my head when one of those batshit crazy girls actually killed me."

Harley snorted with laughter, "Now, that sounds like a story~!"

"Honestly, it happens less often than you'd think. Yandere girls are surprisingly easy to deal with if you know what you're doing. You'll never find anyone more fun and loyal than a yandere," I advised sagely.

"Exactly~!" Harley chimed. "Crazy girls are where it's at~! I did my graduating thesis on them~!"

Jason didn't look convinced, "If you say so… Personally, I happen to quite like living. Death? 2/10. Would not do it again."

"Not even for some primo pussy?" I shot him a skeptical look.

He hesitated for the briefest of moments, "… Not even for some primo pussy. I think I'll stick to the tried and true 'don't stick your dick in crazy' approach if there's even a chance of me dying from something like that. I DON'T know what I'm doing and even saying you do, you still died from 'yandere' love once."

"Oh, yeah~! How'd that happen anyway, Gothboy~?" Harley perked up to ask.

"Brynhildr was just… special. A key part of her legend was to kill the one she loved. I knew it was coming when I summoned her so I wasn't too mad," I shrugged.

"Brynildr," Jason recounted flatly. "Odin's Valkyrie Brynhildr? Wife and murderer of Sigurd Brynhildr?"

"Yep," I simply nodded, popped the 'p', and didn't say anything more.

"Yeah. Okay. Why not?" Jason sighed. "I'll just put mythological figures with legends of killing those they love on the 'do not date' list. Right next to demi-goddesses who burn with passion."

"Kettle much?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't you have a thing going on with Artemis?"

"Artemis?" Harley cocked her head curiously. "The Greek Goddess?"

Jason went stiff, "Surely, she doesn't count… right?"

"Probably not. It's just funny to see you squirm," I smirked.

"Oh," Jason deflated with relief. "That's good. Besides, we're not really together-together, ya know?"

I hummed, "Hmm, I suppose Alice will be glad to hear about that."

Jason froze again, "Uh… Please don't try to set me up with your adopted daughter…? Not that Alice isn't lovely! But, uh… those things should happen naturally…? Yeah, naturally."

I flashed him a grin that was all teeth, "No promises~"

"I have the strangest premonition that you're an absolutely ruthless matchmaker, Sean…"

"I'm pretty good at a lot of what I do. You should just be thankful I mainly use my powers for entertainment and teasing instead of meddling in teenagers' love lives."

"They'd be kind of cute together," Harley considered.

I grinned, "Harley, however…"

"Oh, joy," Jason sighed. "Just what I need. An insane psychiatrist meddling instead of an unknowable eldritch bartender."

His deadpan delivery had Harley cackling wildly. I had to admit it was pretty good as well. Teasing heroes would never get old. Honestly, now, I was just excited about extending my range beyond just Gotham and the Bats. Some of the other heroes' reactions to the Dead End would be absolute gold.

I wasn't actually planning to interfere with Alice's little crush — a crush that I was pretty sure Alice hadn't even noticed yet. It was just more ammunition to tease them both with. And Harley was right. They would make a cute couple. Snarky brooding Alice and tortured brooding Jason.

Harley kept teasing and prodding Jason. I chuckled and finished up opening the bar. The first guests of the night probably wouldn't show up for another hour or so. And Didi and Alice were still out. I wasn't in any rush.

A tickle in the back of my awareness got my attention. I quirked an eyebrow as I focused on it. Someone… No, a group of someones. Make that two groups. Two separate groups were trying to slip into the Dead End unnoticed. Curious, I let them.

I could feel them enter my domain. But I couldn't see them. None of the obvious entrances opened. How did they…? Ah, one group slipped in through a skylight that I was sure wasn't there before. And the other slipped in through a comically sized air duct in a similar situation.

It seemed the entrances were created when I gave tentative permission for the two groups to enter. My subconscious seemed to be setting up a joke of some kind. Or the Dead End was gaining consciousness much faster than I expected. Either way, I was curious what these two similar groups were up to.

Six shadows — three for each group — arranged themselves into positions around the bar. They were good at this whole stealth thing. Anywhere else, I might have actually had to try to notice them.

I could sense that both groups were entirely focused on me. Since no one else was being targeted, I was content to see how this played out. It wasn't like I was in any danger. Plus, their 'invasion' had shown me something interesting about my domain and I thought this would be amusing.

I knew the Dead End would develop some sort of awareness eventually. This wasn't my first Genius Loci. But usually, those kinds of awareness took longer than a few months to develop. I hadn't been looking for the signs just yet.

This 'invasion' brought those signs to my attention. For that, I was almost thankful. I could now start nurturing them much sooner than I would have otherwise. I had a few good tricks up my sleeve for 'birthing' a proper Genius Loci. It was a development to think about later and one with great timing at that.

So these two groups had earned enough of my consideration to see what they were going to do. I leaned on the bar, still pretending I hadn't noticed them. As I waited, I tapped a very specific rhythm on the wooden bartop. It was faint but now that I was looking, I could sense the distant, weakly stuttering vibrations of the Dead End following along with my tapping.

It made me smile. Then both of the 'unseen' groups of visitors to my domain made their moves at the same time. From exact opposite sides of the bar, two darts flew, cutting whistling paths toward my head. I simply leaned back ever so slightly. I saw both darts pass so close to each other that they ruffled each other's fletching.

I watched with amusement as the darts basically returned to sender. Only reversed. The dart thrown from my left perfectly found one of the bodies from the group on my right and vice versa. Immediately, all Hell broke loose.

Both groups seemed to discover the other at the same time. They assessed the opposite group as a threat to their mission — which I had to guess was my assassination. Before the darts had even landed, they both jumped from the shadows to engage each other in the middle of the bar.

Swords clashed and clanged with each other. More darts flew like sideways rain. The assassins who were injured by the initial exchange held back to deal damage from range. Their partners became a blur of motion as they fought, weaving through darts and thrown knives.

I just sat back and watched with amusement as the two groups fought over me. Or at least, the chance to assassinate me. The funniest thing about this whole misunderstanding was that both groups were dressed exactly the same. I was pretty sure they were both from the same organization. This fight was entirely blue-on-blue.

"Uh… What. The fuck. Is going on…?" Jason asked.

He and Harley were watching from the sidelines like me. Only, they didn't have any warning before this fight suddenly kicked off. To them, they were happily bickering one moment and the next, two groups of assassins were fighting a death match while they sat in the proverbial splash zone.

"Ninjas~! Neat~!" Harley cheered, utterly unconcerned with the danger the fighting might pose. "Where'd they come from~?"

"Oh, God," Jason face-palmed. "I think I recognize those uniforms…"

I whistled softly, "They're good."

They were. I could tell that much from the precisely thrown darts that started this misunderstanding. But especially with those swords of theirs, the assassins were damn deadly. Luckily, they were remarkably evenly matched. So while blood was spilled, none of them had lost their lives just yet.

Both doors into the Dead End burst open at nearly the same time. Barbara as Batgirl came through one in the front. Damian as Robin came through the other — the backdoor. The assassins didn't stop their intense combat for a single moment.

"Sean!" Barbara cried, breathing a little heavy from the rush she was in. "You're being targeted! League of…! Assassins…"

She trailed off as she noticed the fight taking place in the bar. I looked between her and the fight, smirking a bit, "Yes, I noticed."

Struck silent in surprise, she came over to the bar with the other three of us, "What the fuck…?"

"That's what I said," Jason agreed.

"This is entirely unprofessional," Damian said, having ghosted over to us at the same time as Barbara. "I will have to report this to Mother and Grandfather. I realize that they are just foot soldiers but I expected more from them."

"Damian, are you here to warn Sean as well?" Barbara asked, trying to make sense of the scene we were all witnessing.

"No," Damian replied plainly and flatly. "I am here for my headpats. If Mr. Barkeep couldn't even survive the attempts on his life, he would be laughably incompetent. I did not assess him as such. It is good to see I am right. As always."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, little guy," I chuckled.

"Arranging for the two teams after you to fight each other instead of focusing on you is impressive. I am impressed," Damian said bluntly. "Now, where is She Who Gives Exquisite Headpats? I have been absent recently and I would like to catch up on the satisfaction I've missed."

"Sorry, bud, she's out at the moment. I've been practicing if you want to settle for me though," I offered.

He paused for a moment and then nodded, "Very well. Only one. Then I shall wait for Lady Didi. Prepare to prove yourself, Mr. Barkeep. If you do well enough, I may grant you a title as well."

Harley giggled, "I freakin' LOVE little Robin~! He talks so cute~! Little Lord Robin~! Oh, God, I want like THREE of him~!"

I laughed along with Harley as Damian held himself ready for headpats. He looked like he was going into battle. His expression was set in stone behind his mask. His head was raised as if he was challenging the gods to come down to his level and say that to his face!

"Dammit, Damian," Barbara groaned. "You just got back!"

Damian turned dead eyes onto her, "Silence, wench. A spinster like you would never understand the Golden Truth of Headpats."

"Oh, you're such a little shit!" Barbara exclaimed with sheer indignation in her voice.

"So, is she a spinster or a wench?" Jason asked with palpable amusement. "Those two things are kind of mutually exclusive."

"She is a fool," Damian replied with a voice as cold as ice.

"Yeah?! Well… Well, I've gotten more headpats than you since you're off in San Fran with the Teen Titans so much these days!" Barbara shot back, sounding quite pleased with herself.

Damian turned to me and asked, "Is this true?"

I nodded. He turned back to Barbara with narrowed eyes, "This means war, Carrots…"

"Wha-?! Because of my hair?!" Barbara sputtered.

"It seems the carrot does have critical thinking skills after all. Unimpressive though they may be," Damian sniped smoothly.

"No, that's it! You're getting the wedgie to end all wedgie, you absolute fucking brat!" Barbara snapped.

"Yeah, show him why the previous Robins wore their undies on the outside~!" Harley cheered Barbara on.

She and Jason were laughing like mad. Everyone was basically ignoring the ninja fight happening in the background at this point. It seemed the assassins themselves were slowly starting to realize that and come to their senses. I smirked. I didn't want to be one of them when their masters came calling.

With a polite knock on the door of the Dead End, it seemed that calling was coming now. It obviously went unnoticed in the chaos by all but me. I opened the door with a thought just as Barbara lunged at Damian. The voice of the person who just entered stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Not like that, my child. You lunge with your hips and feet, not with your upper body."

"Oh, God…" Barbara froze, shuddering at the voice.

Jason had a similar reaction, "No…"

"Mother," Damian greeted the voice. "What a pleasant surprise. I was not aware you were in town."

The woman whom Damian greeted so fondly walked like a panther. Deadly. Powerful. Graceful beyond belief. She moved with slinky strides that made her seem to glide across the floor. Each step was made with purpose, a confidence that could have only belonged to the Daughter of the Demon. Without seeming to try at all, Talia al Ghul made quite the entrance.

She was decently tall for a woman, perhaps 5'8". The way she held herself made her seem even taller. She looked vaguely Middle Eastern but it was impossible to pin down her cultural roots any further than that. It was quite possible the people she resembled most closely had been lost to time.

A long, flowing dress obscured and hugged her figure in equal measure. Loose enough to hide a veritable arsenal of weapons if she wished. At the same time, it perfectly showcased one of her greatest weapons: her body. Silk clung to her tight enough to show off lithe muscles and voluptuous curves.

Then there was the expression on her face. A calculating mien, one that betrayed an intense intelligence and ruthlessness better left unmatched. Those sharp eyes didn't miss a single thing, taking in her surroundings, the assassins fighting, all five of us at the bar, and the trophies that decorated the wall behind us. And while she might not recognize them, she obviously didn't miss the show that last detail represented.

Her eyes landed on me. I stared right back at her. Those piercing brown eyes of hers were as sharp as any blade. I'd bet dimes to dollars that her tongue was just as cutting. She must have cowed thousands of men and women with that gaze alone. I was unphased.

She'd have to do much, much better than that to make me flinch. While she was impressive, I'd seen the same thing several times over. She was far from the first deadly beautiful ninja woman I'd come across.

Her gaze was razor-sharp but it had nothing on the special eyes of the Uchiha. Much less the overwhelming forces of nature that were Uzumaki women. Kushina's fiery glare and temper would give anyone a run for their money. And Mito Uzumaki would run absolute circles around Talia. Both physically and mentally, the canny old bitch.

So I really wasn't bothered by Talia's piercing look that would have pinned other people to the wall. Something she quickly noticed. And seemed to approve of if the minute twitch of her lips was anything to go by. It was so small that even I barely noticed but she almost smiled.

She turned to the assassins fighting in the middle of my bar. I had to assume they were her subordinates. Barbara had said as much when she burst in here shouting about the League of Assassins. Or at least half of them were.

As if Talia's gaze alone could stop time, the ninjas in our midst froze. In an instant, they sheathed their blades and turned to kneel in Talia's direction. She let them stew in the silence for a few long moments. Even the stoic deadly assassins began to shift and fidget.

Finally, she said, addressing only half of them, "Who are you? I only sent one team."

The group that was originally on my left spoke as one, "The Demon sent us."

Talia's voice was cold and impassive, like Damian's on proverbial steroids, "Why?"

"To test a potential step-grandson-in-law."

With amusement, I followed that somewhat convoluted trail of familial titles back to me. I couldn't help but snort and shake my head.

I'd only had one interaction with Talia — over the GCWO forums — and no interactions with the legendary Ra's al Ghul. Talia had certainly left an impression even before I met her in person just now. And it seemed that Ra's was just as… family-oriented as Talia was.

They had very unique ways of showing it. But it seemed that Ra's had claimed the Bat kids as his own just as Talia had. Perhaps it was an aspect of their culture then.

As in, Talia had claimed them first — based on her more obvious relations with Bruce, Damian, and even Jason to a certain extent — so Ra's was given no choice but to do the same. For some reason, I doubted the Immortal Demon minded gaining a terrifically competent son-in-law and five (and potentially more) terrifically competent step-grandchildren.

I wonder if Batman knew he'd been wholeheartedly adopted into the al Ghul family. Probably. Talia, at least, wasn't shy about her claims to the Bat Family. I'd have to pick his mind about that the next time he showed up. It'd been a little while since I'd seen him now.

Talia sighed, muttering to herself so lowly that I was surely the only one who caught it, "Dammit, Father… I said I would handle it. All you've caused is confusion and failure."

Shaking off her frustrated thoughts, Talia glared at her ninja subordinates, "And why, pray tell, would that mean you are fighting your own kin?"

"They started it!" All six of the assassins replied as one this time, sounding oh so much like petulant children.

I could see Talia's eye twitch. No, I could practically feel it. If I was in her position, I would have done a lot worse. Thankfully, I was watching from the sidelines so I could laugh at the incredulity of this whole situation instead. That reply was just pure gold.

"Out!" Talia ordered. "I'll do it myself, you incompetent! Toddling!! Juveniles!!!"

Her voice raised with each insult until it sounded like a demon's wrath was visiting the Dead End. An appropriate description, I thought, considering Talia's lineage. Thankfully, for their own safety, the assassins obeyed immediately, darting out of the bar in less time than it took to say a sentence.

"Holy shit~! Did you hear those goons~? Fucking all like 'they started it'~! I can't~! I woulda smashed 'em flat~!" Harley was cackling like mad right along with me.

"You need better subordinates, Mother," Damian commented helpfully.

Talia gritted her teeth then let out a long exhale to calm herself, "… I am now aware of that, Dāmi. Rest assured they will spend the rest of their days in the fight pits, thinking about what they've done to deserve such reproach."

What happened next made all of us do a double-take. Damian blushed. An honest-to-God, cheeks red, eyes averted blush. Much like an all too innocent child instead of the spiteful, chuunibyou, murder machine we all knew and loved. Well, maybe 'loved' was a bit of a stretch in Barbara's case.

"… Please do not call me that in front of the others, Mother," Damian mumbled, only just barely audible.

"I birthed you, child. If I wish to call you 'my blood', I will," Talia chided gently but firmly.

"I think… I'm missing something here," Barbara said, still taken aback by the sight of Damian blushing.

Thankfully, Jason explained, "It's a cultural thing. In Arabic, it's common to use internal organs as terms of endearment. 'Dāmi' or 'Daami' means 'my blood'. Noticeably, not pronounced the same way as 'Daymi'. I think Damian's full name translated literally means 'blood of the demon'. By shortening it, Dāmi works as a nickname in both English and Arabic."

"Very good, my second eldest son," Talia nodded. "I see you have been keeping up with your studies. I am proud."

Barbara groaned, "Talia. We're not your child-…"

Jason cut her off, "No, I'd much rather be claimed by Talia than by Bruce."

That gave Barbara some pause but Talia didn't miss a beat, "You are your father's son as well, Jason. Even with your perceived grievance with him."

"Perceived?! He let me die!" Jason vented with a shout.

Talia was unmoved, "You got better."

Now, it was Jason's turn to groan, "I hate this family…"

"Just like Alice~" I teased in a singsong voice. "You two are perfect for each other~"

"Alice?" Talia's interest was obvious. "I am unfamiliar with that name. It was not in the information we gathered on you, Mr. Barkeep."

"Didi and I adopted her recently," I answered her technically unasked question. "She just as 'teenager troubled' as Mr. Broody Pants Jr. here. I'm mainly teasing him but I do think they would make a cute couple."

"And what makes you think she is good enough for my Jason?" Talia asked imperiously.

"Other than the fact I've decided she's my new daughter?" I raised an equally imperious eyebrow right back at her. "Maybe because she's Didi's daughter now as well. Ah, you might be more familiar with Didi by the name 'Death'. Of the Endless."

Talia paused, seemingly reevaluating everything she thought she knew, "… Understandable. I suppose you're correct. This does sound like a suitable arrangement for my second eldest son. Shall we begin talks of marriage or wait for the children to come to that conclusion themselves?"

"Oh, God, not you too, Talia…" Jason groaned.

"Join the club," Barbara muttered.

"Ah, yes," Talia nodded as if reminded. "My original reason for coming. Tell me, Mr. Barkeep, how has your relationship with my eldest daughter progressed? I assume having multiple wives won't be an issue?"

Barbara went bright red off to the side and seemed to be at a complete loss for words.

I shrugged, "It hasn't been an issue so far."

"Heyo~!" Harley chimed, eagerly raising her hand.

Talia hummed, "Perfectly reasonable from a man of your status. To be honest, I'd expect nothing less than a harem from the Prince Consort of Death."

"Cool title," I grinned. "I think I'm going to use that one."

Barbara finally found her tongue again, sputtering, "It's not a-…! Don't call it a harem!"

"It's a harem," Damian said, his tone as blunt as a club.

Harley looked at Barbara sheepishly, "Sorry, Girl-Bat. It's kind of a harem."

Jason just smirked at Barbara, "Heh."

"There's nothing wrong with a harem," Talia 'consoled' her. "Plenty of important men have relationships that function that way. I believe Father has had several over the centuries."

Barbara blushed as red as her hair and seemed to go catatonic, barely stringing together six words, "What have I gotten myself into…?"

"Can't 'cha listen, Girl-Bat~?" Harley tittered, somehow managing to sound teasing and matter-of-fact at the same time. "You've gotten yourself into Gothboy's harem~! One of us~! One of us~!"

Harley started up the chant. Strangely enough, I was the only one who didn't join it. I chuckled, sure, but Talia, Damian, and Jason joined Harley almost eagerly.

Damian's voice was as dead as ever, "One of us."

Talia sported a great, big, motherly-teasing grin, "One of us!"

Jason was trying to get the chant out through his laughter, "One of-… Haha~! Us!"

Barbara turned to me with desperate, pleading eyes, "Sean…? Help~…?"

"There, there, Dear," I soothed. "I'll accept you even knowing how irritating your family is."

"Idiot…" Barbara let out a noise somewhere between a sniffle and a laugh. "You're all going to be the death of me."

"Well then, I suppose it's a good thing that Didi likes you," I chuckled.

Barbara stopped to gape at me as my words set into her mind. Talia smirked, "See, Daughter? There are benefits to being in Death's Harem."

IIIII

In geosynchronous orbit above Earth, a massive satellite sat, seemingly motionless. It was a marvel of engineering, a bastion of justice. The Watchtower — as it was called — acted as the main headquarters for the Justice League.

And in one of the many decks of the Watchtower, there was a meeting room. One that was currently occupied by 12 of the many heroes who watched over Earth. The meeting room itself held a round table, made of indiscernible material.

There should have been no head to the table, and yet, somehow it felt like there was. On one end of the 'head' sat Batman. On the other, Superman. Around and beside them, the founding members of the Justice League plus a few others filled out the table.

Kara Zor-El was one of those others. She sat near Wonder Woman — one of the founding members of the Justice League and her good friend. She was only a few places away from her cousin Kal. As upbeat as ever, Kara chattered lightly with Wonder Woman and wondered what this particular meeting was about.

The others at the table were wondering much the same thing. It'd been called at the last minute. It was just lucky that nothing else important seemed to be going on for the moment. Most of the gathered members sat mostly passive, with a few exceptions.

The Flash leaned back in his seat, propping his feet up on the table. No one was willing to call the man who lived in slow motion on his poor manners.

Green Arrow was reading a newspaper that oh so conveniently concealed the comic book inside. He knew he wasn't fooling anyone and he didn't particularly care. This meeting had interrupted his 'me' time and he had only just started the newest Spider-man issue. Marvel comics were a guilty pleasure of his.

And so around the table, it went. John Constantine was grumbling to himself. He needed a smoke and he was debating with himself if it was worth it to just light up right here and now. Aquaman was doing little party tricks with a bottle of water. Black Canary was humming a tune to herself. Zatanna absently filed her nails. Martian Manhunter sat as still as a statue. Green Lantern looked like he was trying to copy the Martian's stoicness. All he succeeded in doing was making himself look constipated.

And as mentioned before, Kara chattered curiously at Wonder Woman, "What do you think this is about? Has Bruce told you anything?"

Wonder Woman — Diana — shook her head, "Nothing. It is not too unusual. I am sure we will find out in due time."

"Oh, well~!" Kara smiled. "Did I tell you what I did last night with Barbara?"

Smiling fondly at her younger friend, Wonder Woman shook her head.

Kara continued, "Well, we went to this little bar in Gotham called the Dead End-…"

Before Kara could tell her friend any more of the story of her night, Batman began the meeting. With a few practiced flicks of his finger, he sent a file to each member sitting at the table. They showed up on tablets that were embedded in the meeting table's surface.

Flash groaned, having to take his feet off the table to look at the file. He blurred into motion, reading through the file in less time than it took to blink. Then he went right back to resting with his feet up, only now he was grinning slightly.

Kara looked at the file for herself and gasped, "The Dead End?!"

Diana laughed heartily, "Hahaha! It seems I'll be hearing your story either way, Kara!"

"Why's this bar so important, Bruce?" Superman — Clark — asked, having read the file almost as quickly as Flash did.

"Oh, God-…" Zatanna paled in realization.

John Constantine finished for her, "Dammit! I knew that place would come back to bite!"

Batman — Bruce — continued unphased, "The Dead End is a bar that opened recently in Gotham. It has seen success, thanks in no small part to the abnormal and anomalous occurrences that surround it and its owner, Sean Caine-…"