this will make you laugh

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

-. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

- If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"

- The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

- The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets

- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

-. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

- War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."

- The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

- At every party there are two kinds of people those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other."

- "If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else."

- Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."

- My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right."

- "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target

- Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away."

- Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy."

- Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born

- Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

- The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."

- Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem

- I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives."

- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile."

-A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

plz comment is you laugh and hope you have a great day day