Autumn Goodbye

11

I kept forgetting when I started to take everything lying down.

I used to smile so brightly in the photo.

Before high school, my trophies were placed everywhere in the house.

When I was very young, I did not understand what failure meant.

Because I seemed to have some talent in numbers and math.

When my peers showed off their calculation skills, I had already begun exploring more profound knowledge.

I handled every test difficult for children with ease.

No matter how complex the problems were, I seemed to be able to solve them. With that talent, I won all kinds of awards when I was young.

I was soon called a "prodigy," and countless praises boosted my ego.

I had never failed before, and I could not understand why a child my age couldn't even solve such a simple equation.

When I participated in training out of town, I met Willow Albertine.

She was living in the same dormitory as me. We soon became friends.

I noticed her because she cried on the first day of the training.

I handed her a tissue, and then we became friends.

She didn't rank high in the class, but she craved to win, so I had seen her burn the midnight oil more than once.

The pressure of training was tremendous because the people around us were all outstanding students of our age.

That being said, it was a piece of cake to top the chart.

Even the then-principal called me a genius he'd never seen before.

Later on, Willow and I fell apart over something.

Then, when I reflected on it, I found it was something so small.

However, we didn't want to talk to each anymore.

At that time, I was young and didn't know how influential I was.

Since I was good at studying, the teachers liked me, and my classmates followed me.

When I stopped hanging out with Willow, some started to bully her.

I had never cared about what kind of impact I had on her.

I was so absorbed in scoring high on my tests that I didn't even know when she became all introverted and reticent.

Come to think of it, it might be that day.

At the end of every training, there would be an exam, and I still got first place while Willow ranked next to last.

When she took the test paper, she turned sideways and elbowed me out of the way.

I was baffled. After all, we used to be good friends.

"You can't blame me for your bad grades. You're the one to blame for making such a simple mistake. Why did you hit me?"

Of course, I was annoyed and fought back.

She didn't answer, while several classmates who usually hung out with me spoke up for me one by one.

From then on, Willow talked even less and would stare at me strangely whenever she saw me.

One day, she called me and asked me to go to the entrance of a building.

I thought she wanted to be reconciled with me, so I met her without hesitation.

…

I remembered it was November when frost was hanging on the branches, the day before a national competition.

When I reached the destination, I didn't see anyone.

Two minutes later, she sent me another text.

"In my next life, can I be smart like you?"

Come to think of it, I realized no matter how big a disaster was, a spark was all it took to ignite it.

The seed of sin fed on everyone's whispers.

Willow Albertine jumped off the building in front of me.

Do you know how a person's face would be distorted, and body twisted when they fell from the 11th floor?

Can you imagine a pair of bulging eyes staring at you in a pile of meat pulp?

I couldn't eat any solid food for the next month.

I couldn't look straight at anything related to numbers. For a long time, whenever I closed my eyes, I saw a twisted, bloody face.

I couldn't think, and my hands would tremble as soon as I saw numbers. Ultimately, I tried to protect myself by erasing that cruel memory.

But subconsciously, I knew that I had to atone for my sins.

If only I had discovered that something was wrong with Willow earlier.

If only I hadn't talked back to her.

If we hadn't quarreled, if I hadn't stood by and watched, if I had stopped my classmates, would she not have stepped on the rooftop at all?

It was all my fault.

Someone like me couldn't be more tortured.

If someone wanted to punish me, then I would accept.

I didn't have the right to struggle in the first place when I had someone's blood on my hands.

Therefore, my hand, which was holding the photo, trembled. After a while, I reached out my other hand to desperately hold it down.

Memories flooded back to me. I seemed to see that horrifying face again.

When Willow died in front of me, my first reaction was to run.

I buried that memory deep in my heart, thinking no one would find out.

However, Loren did.

12

Do whatever you want to me.

Because I can take everything.

"People like you deserve to go to hell, right?"

He stood in front of me and bent down with a warm smile.

He lifted his hand and rubbed my head gently. Only then did I feel his warmth and sober up?

I forgot that he was a bad guy, a very bad guy.

He tilted his head and smiled wickedly.

"I bullied you not because of my sister, but purely because you were such fun, but..."

He regained his composure and looked serious for a split second.

"What should I do about you?"

…

Loren seemed to have changed.

In the afternoon that day, people flung paper balls at me like I was a target, but I didn't move.

However, he was furious.

He began to forbid others from gossiping about me and couldn't bear to see me talking to boys.

Everyone sensed his change, but he seemed the only one who didn't.

The girls in the class fancied Loren.

On a morning when we were asked to assemble in the main hall, they dragged me to the corner while Loren, a "good student," gave a speech onstage.

There was a small room in the back.

The speaker was loud, and they dragged me all the way without being noticed.

The girl in the front slapped me hard in the face.

"You vixen, how did you seduce Loren?!"

"Can't you just die?"

When they cursed me, I kept remembering my past.

I remembered how I "summoned" my "girls" to bully Willow.

Was she also in such pain at that time?

I could not be forgiven at all.

One picked up a bottle from the ground and banged it over my head.

It was such a small bottle, but probably because of its protruding edges, it hurt so much.

"Hey, what's that face? Are you looking down on us?"

The intense pain made me cover my forehead, but my dull reaction angered one of them.

"Hey, Daisy, do you want to use this?"

A girl picked up a scrap steel pipe on the ground, weighed it, and glared at me.

"I have to teach her a lesson!"

At that moment, I still wondered if they knew they were dealing with a real human being.

A heavy, dull pain hit me, and my head was numb.

Once, twice...

"Hey, she's... she's bleeding..."

Someone clearly panicked.

My vision became blurry as I wobbled, and the shadow fell from above my head instantly.

The expected pain did not come.

I heard a muffled groan by my side.

…

Percy grabbed his right arm after taking the blow. He was looking down, his face hid behind his thick bangs again.

Behind him came the voice of a teacher.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

Our teacher also came. Many students gathered around to watch the fun, and the girls hurriedly threw away the tools.

I shook violently as a dark red color blocked my vision.

... Hell, that was a lot of blood.

"Can't you fight back?"

I felt someone had caught me, and my blood-stained his clothes. It was Loren.

He was not gentle and even sounded a little exasperated.

"Fight back! Are you going to stand there and let them hit you?"

I looked at his face out of focus and suddenly laughed.

"What...

"You were the one who taught me not to resist, Loren.

"They followed suit because you've been bullying me."

It was you.

You started all this.

…

First, I went to the school infirmary and then was transferred to a hospital.

My parents rushed into the ward to check on me and then held the teachers accountable for the poor management.

Later, they made a scene, calling the girls' parents over. In the end, all of them were driven away as they were disturbing the patients.

Only Loren and I were left in the ward.

The sunlight outside the window gently fell into the room, hiding behind an azure curtain.

He spoke softly, perhaps not to me.

"What should I do about you?"

…

Loren's bizarre change toward me gave me a bad feeling.

Come to think of it, the way he looked at me seemed to have changed some time ago.

I hated how he stared at me as if I belonged to him.

Hence, I avoided him for the next few days after I recovered.

Meanwhile, Percy suffered a lot for taking the blow for me because he didn't show up for days.

When he reappeared, he was still cowering in a corner.

I wanted to express my gratitude to him. After all, he was injured because of me.

But I knew that if I got closer to him, I would get him involved again.

Therefore, I could only find a chance during a P.E. class and sneak into the classroom to stuff a box of biscuits into his bag.

Unexpectedly, he was just lying prone on the desk.

He didn't go to class.

He seemed to be asleep.

In fact, from the back, he didn't look weak.

It was just his timid face that made a lot of people stay away from him.

His hair looked soft. He seemed to have cut his hair a little shorter. For some unknown reason, I wanted to feel his hair.

But before I could reach it, my wrist was clutched.

He didn't wear glasses. At that moment, the dangerous look in his eyes made me freeze on the spot.

…

After seeing that it was me, he let go.

He put on his glasses.

"What?"

His voice was so crisp, something I didn't notice before.

I pointed at the biscuits at the corner of his desk.

"Well, thank you for taking a... blow for me."

He stared at my bag of biscuits and didn't respond.

To be honest, I was a little scared by his eyes just then.

It was awkward to stay anymore, so I waved goodbye to him, ready to slip away.

But I heard him sigh.

Even though he was in his glasses, he didn't look as silly as before. He looked me in the eye with his hands in his pockets.

"Be careful of Loren."

After warning me, he lay back on his desk and continued his nap.

... Be careful of Loren.

Of course I knew to be careful.

But he's my brother.

How can I shake him off when we live under the same roof?