CHAPTER TWENTY

Cassie's POV

"Hay...."

I sighed as i wait for her. With a frappe in my table, I opened my phone and connected it in the wifi service here. I am at a cafe waiting for my mother. Nakumbinsi ako nila Mikay to talk to her para pag-usapan yung mga dapat pag-usapan.

I am currently dozing myself with SNS until someone seated in the seat in my front.

"Sorry anak natagalan ako, kanina ka pa ba naghihintay?" I glanced at her, and I felt my tears start to fall off again.

And in my front i saw my mother whom I haven't seen for past months, and to tell the truth I miss her.

"Oh, you came." Sabi ko at nagsip sa frappe na inorder ko.

"Hindi naman po ako masyadong naghintay. Halos kararating ko lang po." Sabi ko at iniabot sa kanya yung menu ng cafe.

"Have you eaten? Kumain na muna po tayo bago tayo mag-usap. Nagugutom na rin po kasi ako." Sabi ko at tinawag na rin yung waiter.

I saw her smile a bit and started searching for a meal in the menu.

Everything was going well. Hindi pa naman ako nagbebreakdown. Maybe because hindi pa nabibring up yung dapat naming pag-usapan ngayong araw. We have finished our meals and we are currently having our deserts.

"Ma, can we talk about that?" sabi ko habang kumakain ng ice cream.

"About what?" sabi niya.

"About your reason why you left me and my father." Sabi ko at tumingin sa kanya.

Bigla naman siyang natigilan at iniiwas yung tingin niya sa akin.

Nagstart na ring magkaroon ng awkwardness sa pagitan naming dalawa.

"Come on ma, I want to know. So who's the lucky guy?" sabi ko at tinignan siya ng seryoso.

I saw hesitation plastered in her face, but I think gusto na niya ring sabihin sa akin ang lahat. She took a deep breath and say.

"It was the man of my dreams before. It was my first love."

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Habang nakahiga ako ngayon dito sa kama ko, I still can't digest everything my mother have told me.

-START OF FLASHBACK-

"Kaya ko kayo iniwan ng papa mo because nakipagbalikan ako sa first love ko." Sabi ni mama and here I am, starting to breakdown.

She continued talking eventhough she also started to cry.

"He's my high school sweetheart. Sabi nga ng mga friends namin mukhang kami na talaga para sa isa't-isa." She said and kumuha siya ng tissue to wipe her tears.

"But something came up, kailangan niyang pumunta ng states para doon niya ituloy yung studies niya. Eh that time I also don't like long distance Sabi niya at uminom na muna ng water bago siya tumuloy sa pagsasalita.

"And that was the time that I have met your father." Sabi niya at napakapit naman ako sa mga tuhod ko. Pinipigilang bumagsak ang mga luhang itinatago ko.

"We've met in the library, and that was the day na alam kong magkakaroon na naman ng lalaki sa buhay ko. After niya akong suyuin ng ilang buwan, sinagot ko siya at ilang taon rin kaming naging couple bago namin naisipang magpakasal.

My life with Ben was perfect then I gave birth to you." She said at tinignan ako.

"Ilang taon rin akong naging masaya sa piling niyo dalawa, but I know that deep inside, I'm still longing for someone. Someone I missed, my first love." She said while crying.

Hindi ko na rin mapigilan ang lumuha, mabuti na lamang at nasa tagong table ako pumwesto. Ilan lang yung taong nakakakita sa amin ni mama.

"At first, tinanong ko yung sarili ko. Talaga bang mahal ko si Ben, o ginagamit ko lang siya para makalimutan yung taong una kong minahal? At nakuha ko yung sagot the day in November last last year. Inaya ako ng mga kabatchmates namin nung high school na umattend ng homecoming. At first I hesitated to come kasi alam kong makikita ko siya roon, but naisip kong kailangan kong pumunta kasi I have to assess myself if I've already moved on from him."

"Alam mo ba nung time na nagkaharap kami? I felt the same feeling that I have for him noong high school kami. I again felt the 'butterflies in your stomach' feeling. And, I don't want to say this but....." sabi ni mama at tumingin ng diretso sa akin.

"The time that we have met, I forgot na may pamilya na ako, nakalimutan kong may asawa at anak akong babalikan pag-uwi ko." Sabi niya at nagpunas ng luha.

"I'm so sorry anak, but eversince I met my first love, I felt genuine happiness. I felt like I am in cloud nine. Na parang isa pa rin akong dalaga. Kaya napagpasyahan kong patagong makipagkita sa kanya. We endured every struggle just to see each other. Until the time has come that I have to go with him." Sabi ni mama at uminom ulit ng tubig, then kumuha ng something sa bag niya. Yung yung wedding ring nila ni papa at isang envelope.

"Heto, I promise na susuportahan pa rin kita dahil anak pa rin kita. Pero huwag ka nang umasang mabubuo pa ulit ang pamilya natin kasi hindi na mangyayari iyon anak. Hindi ko kakayaning saktan pa ulit ang papa mo. I now finally found my happiness, goodbye and take care." Sabi niya and tumayo na. Leaving me dumbfounded. Nakatulala lamang ako, hindi kumikibo at patuloy na bumabagsak ang mga luha galing sa mga mata ko.

-END OF FLASHBACK-

Napabuntong hininga ako at tumingin sa mga kisame ng kwarto ko. Pinag-iisipan kung paano nasabi ni mama ang mga ganoong mga bagay. Ang daming mga tanong ang pumapasok sa isipan ko, but I chose to not to think about it at natulog na.