Lonely

My breathing was hot and my throat choked. With clenched fists, I held back from speaking for the fear that tears would spill out of my rage-filled eyes.

"Is the princess speechless now?" Jalen mocked still locking me against the wall.

1... 2... 3... I counted in my head, failing to utter a word. I closed my eyes and opened them up again. One of the assistant cooks in my house met my eyes.

Noting her expression, I pushed Jalen away while his guard was down. Without so much as a response, I walked away up to my bedroom and locked the door behind me. This time Jalen made no attempt to stop me or to continue our banter.

Frustration overwhelmed me as I entered my room, so much so that I had no particular thought I could assign to that frustration. The instant I locked the door, I hit the back of my fist against the wall next to the door.

Not long after standing there, my cheeks felt a warm stream flows down from them. Once the tears had started to flow, they didn't stop easily. I used it as a method of release of all my worries for the past weeks.

I felt utterly devastated and encompassed with self-loathing.

Why did I say nothing?

Why did I allow the cook's aid to stare at me in such a manner?

Why did I allow his words to get to me?

Regret and endless disgruntlement took the form of salty tears and found escape through my red eyes.

I looked into the dressing mirror on the west end of the room at a right angle to the window and saw someone I did not recognize.

Had I always been so pitiful?

Irritated by the scornful reflection, I turned away from the mirror and landed face-first on my bed. The pillow soaked up my tears and muffled my sobs until I grew tired and fell asleep.

◇ ◇ ◇

The next morning, after taking a long shower and being still couped up in my room. I sat down on my bed, my breasts to upper thighs wrapped in a towel and, opened my email to check for updates. Noah had emailed me.

[The orphanage head is free to see you any time during the week. Would tomorrow or the next do?]

Shuffling up and heading to my dressing room, I hit the keyboard screen on my phone quickly.

[This morning would be perfect.]

An excuse to leave this house and a way to escape my thoughts had presented itself, I spared no time into catching hold of it.

I tossed my phone on a table and pulled out an outfit to wear. A few minutes later, a reply had come in.

[Noted. Appointment scheduled for 10:00 am]

I responded with an auto-generated reply and locked the phone, setting it back on the table and getting dressed up.

I was out of the house quickly, without giving anyone except the driver a heads up.

The GPS got the driver and me to our destination. The ride in general was silent on the outside but noisy up in my mental shelter.

I replayed the argument over in my head again. I should have just kept my mouth shut, at least then, I could have been out of his sight with no hassle after the meal. Not to be too masochistic I prided myself in the few jabs I threw at him.

Just as my mind was preoccupied, my phone rang. Caller ID, 'Jalen'.

I cut the call. With a face expressing disgust I forced my thoughts onto a train of positive things.

The Car pulled up to Hope's Passage Orphanage, noticeable by the small signboard at the forefront of their lawn. The orphanage was a cream-painted three-story building with red pillars at the center signifying the entrance.

I looked around and found most of the surrounding was inhabited and serene. I observed the environment as I strolled towards the front door. A few steps away from the entrance, someone opens up.

A blond-haired, fair woman opened it ahead of me. She was skinny to the point I wondered if it was possibly a disorder. She looked up at me and smiles cheerfully, waking away my first impression of malnutrition. When she smiled her high cheekbones rose up. She was a fairly attractive woman.

"You must be the princess!" she cheered bringing forth my hand for a handshake. I respectfully declined and responded with a curt nod and smile.

"Yes. Are you the head of the Orphanage?" I inquired stepping inside the building.

Everything inside was up to standard and common-looking.

"No, I'm afraid not. I'm his assistant, Miss Riley. I'll lead you to his office now." She answered and stretched out her hand to the east wing for the sake of my guidance. I passed a few class-like rooms before getting to that office.

"He was caught up in a call with another royal, that is why he could afford to be rude and not come meet you at the entrance. I hope you were not offended." The lady kept a safe distance behind me as she laid out the excuse.

"I understand. It's no problem." my reply was brief, part of me was still absorbing the atmosphere. Another part wondered which royal he was speaking with.

I walked into the office and met an elderly man seated in a chair, the name tag on his desk read "Dr. Gerald Jones".

He stood up promptly and gestured for me to sit down. After exchanging pleasantries we spoke about the school in general and how my asking for affiliation with it would increase the funding of the establishment and allow them to better aid the children.

Dr. Gerald was ecstatic about my proposal and had no objections. Since everything had been sorted out easily, he took me around a tour of the place.

Three floors, the first where the head of the orphanage's office was, was for housing a sickbay and classrooms, the second was bedrooms and the third was for the same purpose as the second, only older kids stayed up there.

During my visit, the kids were in the backyard hanging out in their makeshift playground. Dr. Gerald offered me a chance to greet them but I declined, decided to come officially some other time with gifts.

My job was done here, I was about to leave when I notice a child playing all alone in one of the rooms on the first floor.

I looked into the room by the door, alongside Dr. Gerald and Miss Riley. The little girl sat on a mini chair with crayons drawing something on paper. Taking a good look at the room, there were paint colors and clay works littered around. It was an art classroom and the girl appeared lonely.

"This is Yena, she is a bit antisocial. She prefers staying indoors and drawing." Miss Riley informed me, noting my interest.

I smiled to myself. How nice and cute.

"It's a shame," Dr. Gerald started to my left, "She has shown a bit of talent yet there is no one to teach her as we are short-staffed."

I nodded in understanding. Along with funding, I would provide staff for them so it wouldn't be a problem.

With everything cohesively settled, I left the orphanage. I had taken a liking to the place already, I made a mental note to include it into the year end charity event I would host.

My mind was a lot more calm by the time I was off. Instead of going back home, using my recently found level headedness gotten from business talks I called up a curator I was familiar with.

If was the same curator that handled Haziel's exhibition a while ago.

"Hello," the person replied after answering the call.

"Hi." I replied.

"Princess Fiona, it's nice you called, what can I do for you. I actually just got some astonishing works for you that I believe would suit your taste."

"That is alright, I will pass by the gallery now we could speak about it when I'm there if you are around." I replied with enthusiasm.

"Great!" the young woman replied on the other end.

With that I instructed Nicolas to drive me to the gallery.

The fundamental reason for my call was to inquire about Haziel's number. I was in the right state of mind now. I could sort out what happened that night with him.

However, turning down an offer to view art was simply not in my nature. As how rejecting to eat candy was not in a baby's nature.

I pulled up to the gallery. It was after noon and the place was not busy at all. I entered through the back entrance, let in but the curator and went upstairs to where her office was.

The office had a glass door and leaning against it was none other than the artist I was searching for.

I cursed my previous thoughts as I froze in place coming face to face with him.

Seeing his handsome and composed nature did nothing except make me remember my pitiful performance at his home.

My clearheadedness from before crumbled in a blink of an eye before Haziel's presence.

Sort out that night with him my foot. I would rather the ground swallow me up.