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Flowery Bastard Winning at Life

Man reincarnated in DxD as Merlin's descendent. "What do you mean original Merlin was a respectable wizard?!" Merlin said as he took a puff out of his Divine Blunt. Infrequent Updates since I am writing as inspiration comes. 7(?) Girls Harem(One for each day!), Non-Violent MC, OP Powers, Essence CYOA, What Romance?.

TurkishJesus · Anime et bandes dessinées
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47 Chs

Chapter 30

AN: It had to be done...

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Working on creating Fou helped me a lot in the way of creating the Dungeon Core. I am about to have a working prototype soon enough.

"Hey, Merlin." A slender arm wraps around my shoulder.

Looking up I see Vali, I peck her lips without replying. This should fluster her long enough to let me tidy my desk.

"Yes, Vali?" I ask as she finally reboots.

"Ahem, I was going to ask if you wanted to join me in today's watching?" She asks while taking out a pack of popcorns.

The watching she mentioned is just Tiamat training Isamu. I don't know what she said to Vali but, Vali is holding a grudge.

Seeing that I have nothing else to do I nod and get up. I might as well watch Issei equivalent get beaten.

_____

SupremeMaid: Merlin, I want you to meet with Rias when you can make time okay? Also, look how cute she is here CuteRiasAge8.jpeg

FloweryBastard: Nee-san, I said. I am not interested...

SupremeMaid: Then I'll keep going until you are. Also, fix your nickname!

FloweryBastard is offline.

_____

I need to make a plan to hitch Rias off with someone else... But how? Isamu is the only one with enough plot armor and she's a female unless...

"Merlin you have a really scary expression on your face..."

"It is nothing Vali-chan."

"Chan!?"

..

"Get up Hyoudou! It's just 10KM and you're already down. How pathetic." Tiamat scolds Isamu.

"I have huff been running huff non-stop you devil!" She complains.

She activated her Sacred Gear after some months' worth of training(Issei was 17 and a devil in canon when he unlocked Boosted Gear, Isamu is 16 and still human). According to Tiamat, the first thing Ddraig did upon waking up was scream like he saw the worst nightmare of his life.

"I am a Dragon, she is a Devil." Tiamat points towards us, Vali specifically.

Isamu doesn't comment on Vali nor the fact we are eating popcorn, it seems she is used to Vali watching her.

"So old hag, who is that handsome fellow?" Isamu points at me.

"That's my husband Isamu. Also, who are you calling hag!? Run another 10KMs now!" My wife smiles brilliantly.

"Yes, ma'am!"

Once Isamu got completely wasted, she wasn't even able to walk. Despite her brutal training, Tiamat doesn't want Isamu to die, so whenever training ends she tends to her until she is back on her feet. So we're having a picnic while she recovers, well she's recovered enough to eat already.

"What is your dream in life Isamu?" I ask cryptically. Artoria would have started running if she saw my current expression.

"I want a harem!" I smile at her answer, it is good that her personality is the same.

"Don't you already have a reverse harem?"

"Those guys are lame, I refused to sleep with them the other day and they just told me they don't need me." She frowns before she sneers. "Then I found them sleeping together. It seems they gave up on females completely." I ignore the last part for my sanity's sake.

"So how are you planning on getting a harem?" This time Tiamat asks.

"I mean there's magic, there must be something that can bless me with a retractable futa..." Isamu starts telling us her dream but... "Forget about that." Tiamat cuts her.

"Huh?"

"Unless you become a strong being capable of changing genders, it is impossible." Tiamat shuts her down.

"That's weird, considering the amounts of perverts in this world someone would have figured how to do that." I mutter while doing calculations back in my mind. I am going to make the impossible!

"I don't know the reason but there's a fatal lack of pervy magic. I know someone tried the futa deal but it didn't work." Tiamat explains.

I have solidified my plan, it is ready. I can already hear thousands of readers puking at the idea but it has to be done...

"Man I wish I was a futa..." Isamu mutters.

"WISH FUCKING GRANTED!" I MUST HAVE THE TITLE OF DICK WIZARD!

The world stops as I cast my magic as if the whole reality focused its attention on this historical moment. Heavens roars warning me not to go against the natural order of things but I also feel support from a faraway realm boosting me up.

ExE is helping me! Boob Goddess needs an advocate here and Isamu fits the bill! Normally I don't like someone meddling in my business but I'll let this slide. As if angry at my defiance lighting strikes around us scaring Isamu but I hold firm.

Utilizing every bit of magic knowledge and cheats I cast 'THE FORBIDDEN' spell.

*Poof*

Everything reverts as if nothing happened. I sit back and sip my tea like I haven't done anything wrong. To be honest, turning her into a male would have been easier than this...

Isamu is already behind a tree checking her new brother out. I can faintly hear Ddraig's cries of sorrow.

"Merlin what the fuck!?" Vali yells.

"It had to be done..." I stand my ground.

{*Albion Sobbing*} Even Albion cannot laugh at his rivals suffering.

"Why?" Tiamat gently asks, she has a hopeful expression, she is hoping I would have a logical explanation.

"He probably wanted the title." Angelica hits the nails on the head.

"That's not untrue but I also need her to seduce a girl to stop Grayfia from breathing down our necks."

"Who is that girl?"

"Rias Gremory." Girls go silent. They, of course, know who that is. Most importantly they're also victims of Grayfia's constant messages about how nice Rias is. Not even Gabriel was spared from Rias' childhood photos.

"To think you would go this far to protect our family." Tiamat is crying. I can see Vali and Angelica holding each other with solemn expressions.

"I can finally get back at those two idiots by getting a harem!" Isamu yells, causing Vali and Angelica to broke down and cry as well.

"Uhh did I say something wrong?"

"No, just promise me you won't use that gift for evil."

"Yes, sir!"

..

I am back at Golden Dawn because Le Fay is having her last test on Fairy Magic. Once she passes this she will be graduating from my class.

She's writing furiously like she's on a timer. She got that from her other classes. My tests don't have a time limit like others, you just need to answer the questions, with mental boosting spells being a thing it doesn't take long anyway, then again not everyone can use them.

Of course, I will keep giving her homework on other things but I will no longer have a responsibility towards her. While it doesn't matter in the end, I won't be implicated once she betrays the organization to go after Arthur.

I hear, he already left House of Pendragon, it is only a matter of time Le Fay follows her brother.

Soon little Le Fay gives me her paper. She hasn't made a single mistake. "Well, you aced it, Le Fay, I have nothing else left on what I can teach you about Fairy Magic."

"No way..."

"Yes, you're graduating from my class. Well, considering I only ever had two students that I can't call it that..."

"Sensei... Will you keep teaching me?"

"I can send homework but I have a project going that needs my full attention."

"I see."

"Well, what do you want as your graduation present?"

"Eh? There is something like that?"

"Just in my class."

"Well, hmm I have never been to an amusement park... Can we go?" Le Fay asks shyly.

I raise my hand in a manner to say wait for a second and pull up my phone.

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FloweryBastard(CertifiedDickWizard): Arthur why haven't you taken your sister to an amusement park so far?

MeganeSwordsman: What is an amusement park?

FloweryBastard(CertifiedDickWizard): Did you guys grow up in a castle away from civilization?

MeganeSwordsman: Yes.

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I put my phone back and rub my eyes. I mean seriously? Even I have been to an amusement... Well, that was my past life and I was six years old. I doubt that counts.

"Well, I don't mind going."

"Yes! Can we invite Arthur nii-sama?"

"Sure." I agree, with that. For a second I thought Le Fay was trying to lend a date with me. She's 14 now and I keep seeing her reading romance books, I got scared for a second.

..

I had a sudden realization about why supernatural doesn't go to regular Amusement Parks. Because rides are boring compared to what they're used to, the speed seems slow, horror house looks hilarious.

Even bumper cars were boring to me. The Ferris Wheel was enjoyable though but that's for a different reason.

After all, Angelica is here as well hehehe. At least Le Fay and Angelica seem to be enjoying, I and Arthur not so much.

Currently, we're eating some fish and chips, Le Fay finally got tired so we're going to leave after this.

"So how was it, Le Fay?" I ask.

"It was less impressive than I expected but it was fun nonetheless."

"This whole thing felt like a double date, to be honest." Angelica comments while I quickly conjure some invisible air shields to protect us from the spit out food. The siblings are not in love with each other but Angelica loves teasing them.

"You had to tease them didn't you?" I turn to Angelica, she just gives me a peace sign.