Rooftop Meditation Session Interrupted by Florida Man’s 'Semen' Request 

Chapter 35 - Rooftop Meditation Session Interrupted by Florida Man's 'Semen' Request 

Early morning of the next day, loud noises echoed from Felix's rooftop. However, everything on top was invisible and blurry to onlookers on the streets. 

"WOOO!!" 

Jane felt like she was in paradise. While being naked, she jumped into the entrance of a water slide, sliding through the enclosed tube as water guided her. Soon, Jane emerged from the exit and fell into a swimming pool. Addicted to the thrill, Jane climbed out and rushed back up the stairs to play on the slide again.

Meanwhile, Felix watched over his naked wife from the helicopter pad, smoking and relaxing. Unlike before, Felix savored each roll, focusing on his breathing. Each cigarette took a minute to burn to a crisp.

*DING* 

<Your lifespan has increased by one year.> 

<Your mana has increased by 60.>

Felix sighed. Treating smoking as a breathing meditation was exhausting. He closed his eyes and waved his hands to clear the toxic air. Fortunately, he was downwind, so Jane wasn't affected by the lifespan-reduction poison.

While Felix enjoyed the view and his cigarette meditation, Adam stood in front of his store, searching for a way to contact the house owner. He knocked the door and shouted. 

"Hello? Is there anybody inside?" 

The cement golem noticed the butler but, instead of welcoming the guest, went to the rooftop to see Felix. Being immune to mana poison, the golem sat in front of Felix and mimicked his master's movements.

"Semen!"

"…"

Felix stared dully at the golem, unable to comprehend its language. "What do you want?" 

"Semen!"

"…"

Felix slapped his forehead and gave up on comprehending the cement golem's language.

Seeing that Felix didn't understand, the golem grabbed Felix's arm and pointed towards the front store. 

"What's below?" Felix asked. 

"Semen!"

"…Forget it."

Felix walked to the edge of the building and looked down. The scenery was distorted and warped by the space distortion array, but he managed to see Adam's face. Recognizing the man with a scar, Felix rushed down to meet him.

Coming out of his store, Felix, in his casual clothes, greeted Adam. 

"What's up?" 

"Sir," Adam laughed dryly and whispered, "Please visit our lord. There's an urgent matter we need to discuss." 

"How urgent? Today?" 

"Yes. Our city scout detected an army approaching from the north. They will reach the city in a day or two."

Felix raised his eyebrwos, a sparkle of flame and roast-pork-scented smoke coming from his nostrils. 

"Alright. I'll be there in a moment."

…

After changing into formal attire, Felix followed Adam to Robert's mansion. Upon arrival, he was guided to a meeting room on the third floor, a place he had never visited. Inside, he discovered a dozen men in fancy clothes or knight armor, and Sierra next to Roland and Robert. 

When Felix arrived, everyone turned to look at him. A knight approached and saluted, straightening his arm and clenching his fist.

The 6'8" knight's muscular body reminded Felix of bodybuilders on steroids. His heavy armor was as thick as his arms and hands. Standing in front of Felix, the latter felt like a character from a certain Titan anime. His blond hair, western facial features, and stern look also resembled one of the characters.

"I'm the commander of Terra City's defense, Sinnet. I've heard about your achievements, sir mage! Thank you for helping us capture the Turo spies the other day!" 

Felix awkwardly raised his arm, mimicking the salute, "…Hail Sinnet? You're welcome?" 

Sinnet laughed and lowered his arm, then slapped Felix's back. "Hail me? No, hail you! We've been waiting for you!"

Robert coughed and reminded everyone they were in the middle of a briefing. "Sir Ariel, come sit down. We're about to discuss the formation and battle plan."

Felix quietly followed Robert's gesture, walking to his seat at the far end of the long meeting table next to a nobleman in brown clothes. The nobleman nodded at Felix but didn't introduce himself. Felix pursed his lips and took his seat, noticing another socially awkward middle-aged man in the meeting. Sinnet returned to his seat opposite Felix, smiling with yellowish teeth.

Robert shook his head slightly and explained what had been discussed earlier. 

"I'm sorry for calling you here, Sir Ariel. We have a situation. The Turo House has mobilized an army and is heading toward our city."

Felix nodded and continued listening. Robert shifted his gaze to the long table, where a map and a dozen tokens were arranged. The rough geography of Terra City and the northern forest were highlighted. In the western forest, a triangle token with a small red flag faced Terra City. West of the red token, a green triangle token pointed at it, puzzling Felix.

"From our discussion, we have an ally in the Black Forest. The monster queen has promised to send reinforcements to flank Bill Turo's forces tomorrow. However, we want to avoid siege battles as it implicates our citizens."

Robert pointed to the northern road, connecting to a detour dirt road. He placed small rocks on it. 

"I'm going to send a small task force to delay the Turo Army's march. This unit will comprise mages and archers. We will hit them, cause chaos, and return to the city before they can react!"

Felix thought to himself, 'Guerrilla warfare? Okay, I like that.'

"Sir Felix Ariel," Robert looked up and asked Felix, "Could you help us?" 

Felix shrugged, expecting the request. "What do I need to do?" 

"There are two things we need your help with. First, we wish to invest in your artifacts to arm our soldiers. Do you have anything we could use in this situation?"

Felix smiled, not minding releasing some of the guns he had created. He ejected 10 M1903 Springfield rifles and placed them on the table. 

"Will these do? How many do you need?"

Robert gazed at the rifles and gulped. Roland, sitting next to his son, remembered the weapon and whispered to him, "Those are the weapons I talked about. We need them."

Robert silently listened, but the room filled with commotion. Everyone was stunned when Felix suddenly pulled out the guns. 

One nobleman exclaimed, "S-Spatial magic?!" 

"SPATIAL MAGIC?!" Some knights, including Sinnet, were also astonished. All eyes were on Felix. They thought that Felix was a high-leveled mage. 

Robert regained his composure and controlled the conversation. "A-About those, we need… a hundred." 

"How much will you pay?" Felix ignored the crowd and only conversed with Robert. 

"…We don't have much gold left. How about 10,000 gold coins?"

Felix pursed his lips. Robert offered less than Bill Turo, who easily paid 2,000 gold coins for two defective products. Unsatisfied with the offer, Felix negotiated for a better price. 

"My artifacts need ammunition. I want 50,000 gold coins for 100 guns and 5,000 special rounds. This does not include additional shells for training."

Roland and Robert's faces turned ashen as their gold reserve was only 20,000 coins. They shook their heads, unable to afford it. 

"Can we barter trade?" Roland attempted to bargain. "We have mana crystals. How about 1,000 mana crystals for your guns? One crystal is worth 50 gold coins in the capital city's market."

"Mana crystals?" Felix raised his eyebrows, bemused. This was the first time he heard about them. 

Roland, noticing Felix's subtle change in expression, grinned and brought out a palm-sized glowing crystal from his pocket. 

It emitted colorful lights, similar to what Felix had in his inventory. 

"…Isn't that?" 

Felix recognized it. Jessica also confirmed it. 

<That is similar to what you have.>