Path: New Course

Oscar's POV:

Why is this happening to me? I thought I had talent. How did my core become defective? I didn't get a mid-grade or even a low-grade. Talentless?? Where do I go from here? My prospects have all become a mirage.

Since we got back from the ceremony, I've been in my room, cradling my head. From the moment I heard that news, a splitting headache hit.me, one that just won't go away.

My parents have tried comforting me with words, saying this is not the end for me. This problem is not set in stone... Most of their words merely pass through one ear and flow through the other, my brain doesn't seem to register it.

I didn't go to the banquet because I felt there was no need to. Even though my friends were there I couldn't felicitate with them. I hope they understand.

I've been in my room for a while, they are back already. Either I spent a lot of time sitting down or the banquet didn't take long.

Hearing a knock on my door, I stood up to go open it.

"Mom, how was the banquet?"

"Knowing about it won't do you any good. I can see from your face and your lack of enthusiasm that the result hit you hard."

"Is it that obvious?"

"I've never seen you like this, even when you were stuck with tough problems in the past, you didn't…"

"This isn't just a problem mom, this is bigger, my future as a mage is gone. I can only be regarded as a failure from now on."

"When did you ever care about what people said about you?"

"I always did."

"Huh?"

"Every human cares what they say about them, even when they act like they don't. Why should I be any different? I just didn't care because there was nothing wrong to say about me, I was proud of myself, of what I would become. But now…I'm just a…"

"Stop!"

"??"

Mom sat on the bed and pat the side indicating for me to sit.

"Oscar"

"Mom?" I answered back in surprise. Mom had never called me by my name before. She always called by the nickname she coined for me; 'Ossie'. Her tone this time around was stern.

The atmosphere became serious, I felt a little tense, seeing a side of my mother I hardly see. It made me think I did something wrong.

"Don't belittle yourself, wallowing in self-pity doesn't suit you. You are who you are for a reason. Setbacks may happen from time to time but you shouldn't let it deter you from your goal, instead you should let it drive you forward. Take a look at what you have been able to accomplish, what makes you think you can't go past this obstacle? You have done the improbable before what stops you from doing it again?"

"Uh?"

"You don't know."

"Um…"

For the first time in my life…

I felt stupid.

What was the reason for pushing myself? Wasn't it to ameliorate the use of mana, while going against the odds? Haa… I sighed inwardly at my foolishness.

"It seems you're beginning to understand."

"Yes, I am."

"Look within yourself, think of what you can do to improve then act on it."

"I understand now, thanks mom, I really needed this."

"That's my boy."

Mom wrapped me up in a close embrace, squeezing me in the process.

Ugh, is she trying to reform my bones? My mood was the only thing that needed improvement not my skeletal structure.

"I'm alright, you can let go now."

Hehe, don't tell me you are feeling too shy to hug your mother. No matter how much you grow, you'll still remain my little Ossie.

'Ugh...I know'

"You said?"

"N-nothing" 'Does she read minds now?'

"Okay, we are here for you anytime you need us Ossie."

"Yeah, thanks."

After she left, I heaved a sigh of relief. That brief conversation made me see things a bit clearer. The goal didn't change, the approach just did. Surely, I'll get through this. Time to go clear my head a bit, I need to train. I'll find a way to solve the issue later.

*****

It's been four months now, I've been training and sparring with the guards. Things still feel the same, but I think the reason for that is because I no longer go outside. Becoming a total shut-in wasn't what I planned but having to grapple with social anxiety is not my forte. One thing that has left me puzzled is the fact that none of my friends reached out to me, only Marcus and…Myra of all people came to see me. Marcus' visit wasn't unexpected but Myra's had me confused. It was two months ago.

*******

I was at the sparring grounds when a servant came to inform me of a visitor. I thought it was Paul, Josh or maybe the both of them. So I told the servant to let the visitor in.

"Good evening Oscar, how are you?"

"It's nice to see you...Myra."

"Okay, now that didn't feel genuine, were you expecting someone else?"

"Actually, I was. You were the last person I expected to see here."

"Why? Because we don't talk?"

"Yeah, adding to the fact that you don't talk to anyone. I'd say my reaction is justified. However, it would be inappropriate for me to welcome a guest in such a manner. Let's head to the garden, we'll be able to converse properly there."

"Alright"

"Do you need anything to drink?"

"Water would be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

"So what brings you to my abode? Don't tell me you came to condole with me on the news of my talent. You are not the sympathetic type."

"Straight to the point are we? That's a bit harsh but not untrue. I know it might not be proper for me to ask this but, what are plans?"

"Huh? Plans?"

"Yeah, your plans."

"Plans for what?"

"Don't play dumb."

"Oh alright. The truth is, I've still not figured it out yet. What I need to do, to fix this. My province has everything I need but fire mages mostly deal with war strategies and combat skills. Medical knowledge is not our strong suit. I thought about going to the imperial region to seek help but I..."

"But you'd not be offered much assistance or aid."

"Exactly, the subtle rift between my family and the kingdom would make them refrain from helping me entirely."

"True, what about Duke Zach's province, surely they also specialize in healing and medical research."

"But we're not on good or bad terms, just neutral."

"Right, and that's why I came."

"What?"

"I have another question for you."

"Are you planning to enroll at the academy?"

"No I'm not."

"Just as I thought."

"Hmm?"

"May I hear your reasons for that."

"I hope you are not trying to convince me, I already talked to Marcus about this. There's nothing for me at the academy if I can't use magic."

"But you can."

"You call that magic? Actual magic requires a spell even the silent ones requires minute incantations and gestures."

"Correct."

"I can't do either, so there's no point in getting admitted."

"Hmm"

"I know you don't talk much but please stop responding with short sentences. It's annoying."

"Okay"

"??"

"Alright, fine. I've heard you. Well, the reason why I came to meet you is that I have proposition for you."

"I'm listening."

"What do you think about studying at the Iyun province?"

"I've not thought about it. So I don't know."

"Oscar, you have a brilliant mind, most of your ideas show sagacity which is a talent that cannot be ignored."

"I appreciate the compliment."

"I'm not complimenting you, I'm stating the obvious."

I just shrugged, urging her to continue.

"We dark mages may seem secretive."

"Well that's because you are."

"For good reason. We are also capable of healing though not in the way you might think."

"Go on."

"We carry out research on different fields. If you haven't noticed the kingdom still uses the knoll technology from ages ago without any sort of improvement on it. Why do you think so?"

"I think even if they abhor it, they don't have a choice but to use it."

"That's part of it, however, the reality of the situation is, they don't know how to improve it."

"That might be true, but how do you know?"

"I have my ways."

"Oh don't give me that." I rolled my eyes.

She chuckled before going on to explain.

"We have been making minor breakthroughs in our research. Especially in the medical field. In spite of that."

"The King doesn't care, does he?"

"No, he doesn't. The light mages have wondrous healing abilities, so a breakthrough like that doesn't interest them. In fact,.it would only put a hamper on their influence."

"You have a point, the only information that might draw their attention is an invention of new weaponry."

"Exactly, which is why I had to meet you today. What do you think about medical science?"

"???"