New Perspective

After I came back from lunch, the rest of the day was uneventful. Arranged meetings, confirmed events, and arranged my boss's schedule.

"See you tomorrow!" said my workmates. I waved and uttered the same words back before stepping in my car and driving off.

I pushed my shoes to the side upon entering my apartment door, changed to my comfy room slippers, headed straight for the couch and rested my head leaning back. It's been a year since I started living alone. Somehow, I got used to the silence of just being on my own. My eyes scanned the room lost in thought. I heaved a sigh and decided to rest a bit more before cooking my dinner.

After dinner, I took a long, nice warm shower. As I come out and dried my hair up with the towel, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and took my toothbrush. "Am I ugly? I'm sure I look plain but not revolting. He didn't even spare me a glance the whole time we were at lunch today." I thought to myself.

"I'm obviously not his type and he's surely been dating those model looking ones. With that face, I'm sure he does... Well, what do you care!" I snapped at myself feeling a bit irritated that I let him cross my mind. I finished brushing my teeth, headed to the bedroom and sat myself in my comfy bed.

I'm not gonna lie, I find him good looking. But what does that have to do with anything? He doesn't want to marry me, hell he wouldn't even look at me! So as if my opinion or the way I see him would change what he feels.

Like I said, since our union has been talked about since childhood, I absent-mindedly thought that that's how it's really going to be- that when the right time comes, things will just naturally unfold themselves and we'll live our lives as how our grandparents envisioned it to be. I never once questioned it. I didn't entertain anyone let alone the thought of being with someone else cause it feels like cheating. And I assumed that Chace saw it the same way. But setting aside our grandparents' own volition, the affair is obviously one-sided. I frowned as I felt like I was robbed but mostly, I felt stupid.

I should've dated alot! Well, not like it's too late to do that. After all, he clearly made his intentions of not wanting to be with me anyways. With that renewed perspective, I suddenly felt lighter. Knowing that the other party doesn't honor the agreement means I can do the same. Shedding the weight of expectations off of my shoulder felt really good.

I smiled to myself. I'm actually free. Satisfied with the thought, I went to my dresser and reached for my moisturizer- lavender and vanilla, my favorite scent. I rubbed it gently on my skin, brushed my hair and got ready for a goodnight sleep.