Chapter 5

His hands were on the table that gave a small distance between the both of us, tapping carefully as his dark blue eyes searched mine. I could tell that Nic was trying to be careful, but he was always so protective of me. The truth was the Lycans had no business with werewolves and being the Luna of a pack, it seemed I had broken that pact.

We were in the living room of his cabin. It wasn't a very big mansion or fancy in anyway like the pack house, but one could look at the two huge lycans that hovered over both us, scrutinizing me, that they were just as armed as we were. One of them had a scar that ran across his face, and something about him reminded me of my lovely old Gentry.

It had been over two years since Nic and I had seen each other, even though he was my rejected mate. Werewolves couldn't marry lycans, but sometimes I wondered if the moon goddess had made a mistake when she bound our souls together. I couldn't stop looking at him now, I couldn't stop wanting to get closer to him, but I didn't know if it was the same for him.

Nic took a deep breath before speaking, his fingers clasped together under his bearded chin.

"Damn it, Helena. Well what do you want us to do now?"

Although I had told him everything that happened to me, I wasn't really expecting him to do anything, I knew it would be unfair of me to ask him for any help, especially since we hadn't seen each other for so long.

"I know, I'm sorry for barging in on you uninvited-" I looked up at the bulky men standing over me, one of them scoffed at what I was saying. I hadn't even said much yet. "I just need to bide my time here. You know? Hide from all that's going on around me."

"What if your Alpha comes here?" He asked coldly, never taking a second to break eye contact. "With the rest of the pack?"

"Odd chances that they won't." The big guy with a scar said flatly.

"In fact, we should expect the whole lot of them here before dusk." The other big guy said. "I think it's best we stay out of werewolf business."

"Please… I can't go back, and without your help, I'll be dead." I needed them to see the desperation in me, and the fear I couldn't fully express.

"Should that be any of our concern?" Was the bitter retort I received from Gentry the third.

Nic simply stared at me, as if considering the fact that I wasn't worth the trouble.

"Logan, Cain, make space for the Luna at our lodge. We'll figure this out." He almost mumbled and the two lycans only nodded reluctantly as Nic turned his gaze to me.

"Thank you, Nicola." I said, glassy-eyed and emotional.

He rose up and left the living room, trailing the two hefty lycans behind and leaving me all to myself.

I always knew somewhere deep down, Nicola Orenzo had grown to hate me. It wasn't the expressive kind of hatred, it was the kind that slowly burned even after so many attempts at quenching it.

I rejected him the day I found out that we were fated together, and I never forgave myself for the shame I felt when I knew it. He had sensed it too, all those years ago when we were seventeen, that I had betrayed him. I didn't believe anything I would ever do would make me earn his forgiveness for it. I remained thankful to him for letting me keep in touch with him.

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The lodge had an eerie feeling to it, the distinctive smell of killers stinging my nostrils as I came to the realization that everyone who passed by me, staring curiously at the stranger before them, was a lycan. The architecture of the Manor was in every way better than Bloodmoon's pack house. It suddenly dawned on me as I was being led to the room I'd be staying in that lycans weren't at all the lesser hierarchy. In fact, I completely understood that they were far more poised in sense of class than we werewolves were.

Cain and Logan had left me in the hands of the Manor's owner, an elderly man of about average height with wrinkled fingers that were wrapped around the handle of his walking stick as he walked me to a vacant guest room. With everyone staring, I figured they all knew who I was and I was a bit bewildered why I hadn't been attacked yet.

"Do they know?" I asked the Manor's owner who turned to look at me with a confused stare.

"Who?" He asked, confusion creasing the old skin of his forehead.

"Everyone's staring." I pointed out.

"Oh, well yes. Everyone knows. Nic had to make the information known, that a werewolf would be staying with us for some time… until further decisions are made, that is."

Further decisions.

"And am I safe?"

He kept quiet until we reached the top of the spiral stairway that gave way to a large hall with doors to separated rooms. We came to a closed golden brown door and as he unlocked it, without looking at me, he said, "You're about as safe as you believe yourself to be."

The door creaked open and with it was the revelation of ancestral peculiarities. The furniture, the paint, the antiques and even the vintage duvet folded by the side of the mattress gave all its beauty away. It felt like something royal as I stared at the unique oil paintings hung over the wall. I hadn't noticed when the old man slipped the key onto the side table and went out of the room, leaving me to bask in stupid awe.

I strolled into the bathroom, the silver sink and bathtub were cleaner than any silver I'd seen and I decided to have the soothing feel of warm water running down my body. When I was done, I put on the same ripped dress I had worn in my wolf state. Luckily, it wasn't too torn and I could still wear it indoors if I wasn't called.

I wondered what time dinner was as my tummy rumbled, craving all the food I could get. I placed my hand over my stomach, slightly protruding now, as I paused to listen for a miraculous heartbeat.

I dropped my hand in shame, my mind playing back the memories of my insanity. I had lost my baby- no, I had killed my baby, and not even the moon goddess could forgive me. I laid my head down on the soft double pillows and patiently waited for a knock on the door. A knock on the door, and a very familiar face behind it giving me a reason to hope yet again. My eyes closed and I drifted off to sleep.