100% Calculated Course Of Action

I have come to the realisation that running your mouth can bite you in the ass at the most unexpected of times, in ways you wouldn't expect it to.

This is not to say it has happened to me, but I've seen it happen too many times for me to write it off.

What I mean is, me staring down a 12 something year old blonde girl who's glaring at me like she wants to snap my neck and make my head a trophy because I randomly called her a dumbass for arguing with somebody in the hallway is not a case of me running my mouth, no, it was a calculated decision.

I don't make mistakes.

She took off one of her white gloves and threw it in my face. She then tilted her head upwards so that she had to look down at me, putting her other hand over her chest, "Let us see where the confidence to insult one such as myself comes from."

Fighting her allows me to showcase some modicum of ability as the head of the Matou family, and potentially drives off certain unsavoury elements.

I repeat, this is not me getting high on copium after messing up.

Anyway, what's with these people and their obsession with old-fashioned clothing?

The blonde in front of me is wearing a sleeveless frilly, two piece, blue dress and has similarly coloured ribbons in her... drill-shaped hair? Did she walk off a construction site? Or is it a projection of the 'noble' stick lodged up her behind?

I glanced at Waver, who just shrugged at me with amused eyes, "You made your own bed... maybe not run your mouth next time in a place filled with posh 'gentlemen'."

Such betrayal, I even respected you, you traitor!

"Well, then, introduce yourself, or do you not know basic manners?" The girl tapped her foot impatiently, crossing her arms under a chest that just wasn't right for a 12 year old... what the fuck do they feed them?

"No need to get your fragile ego in a twist. I'm very scared of you already." I held my hands up disarmingly, there's too many people looking at us right now like we're zoo entertainment, "I'm Shinji Matou."

 "Hmph, very well." She tossed a lock of her blonde hair, "What did you mean by your earlier words?"

Oh my God, I thought the dumb blonde thing was just a stereotype.

Hm... maybe the nutrition meant for her brain is going to her udders... Yes, Shinji Matou does not like to be challenged.

I dismissed her question with a wave, "Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about."

Thankfully, I sent Caren away or this girl and her bloated ego would most likely be reduced to a crying mess in public.

What? You think I'm exaggerating?

That demon made Shirou run away with words, words. She picks up on insecurity and trauma like a dog and then rips your entire being to shreds with words while 'praying' for you.

"F... Flattery will get you nowhere."

Have humans always been this stupid? Have we?

I'm understanding Cortana's views more and more with each passing day.

...Or maybe it's a kid and it's not that deep.

"My name is Luviagelita Edelfelt." She announced with another flamboyant gesture, closing her eyes, "I had heard of the fate of the Matou, but grief is not something that will make me forgo an insult to my house."

I deadpanned at her, practically feeling the pride wafting off her being.

And a few moments passed in utter silence until she opened one of her eyes to look at me, "W...Why aren't you saying anything?"

"I mean... I wouldn't want to harm your sense of self worth more than your upbringing already has." I think Caren rubbed off on me.

She paused again before tilting her head, "What is that supposed to mean?" 

I glanced at Waver again and the fucker just shrugged... again.

"...Do you want the duel or not?"

"Yes. You must be taught to control yourself, for your own good."

Yeah, definitely.

-

"I roll a nat 20 and cast magic missile while adopting your goblin tribe!"

"Umm... what?" Luviagelita paused for the umpteenth time, raising her head from her wrestling stance to stare at me with lost eyes.

I pointed my finger at her, "You activated my trap card! I use Pot of Greed and draw Dark Magician in attack mode!"

"..."

I have deduced that magi are uncultured swine that I do not want to be associated with.

Luviagelita led me to one of her family's training 'dojos' to beat some sense into me, except with magecraft.

I've inferred that she's using reinforcement magecraft from the azure lines on her arms and legs... and the fact that she kicked me a few seconds ago and launched me through the wooden roof... then blew through the wooden planks under her when she stomped her foot in victory.

I'm not really hurt though.

"How are you not hurt?"

"Nanomachines son, they harden in response to physical trauma. You can't hurt me." I pointed a thumb at my chest while glancing at Sakura who was standing a ways off with Waver, acting in the capacity of an officiator.

Dear sister, I can see that you want to strangle the blonde but it's not worth the trouble.

Now, for the hardasses, the first problem that came with engaging in a 'match' like this where magecraft is allowed was, obviously, the fact that I can't even use magecraft.

However, the thing is, nanomachines exist in a realm of technological advancement that might as well be magic to the unlearned eye.

For reference, a learned eye doesn't exist in this world, except maybe the Second True Magician.

Their misconceptions will only be reinforced by their lack of understanding when it comes to science and technology. Magi refuse to use technology because 'anything those fools can do, magecraft can do better'... which made sense in ancient times but not anymore.

I'd like to introduce them to lighters and flamethrowers some day.

Anyway,

The nanomachines inside me can easily mimic the visual of activated magic circuits... maybe real ones if I ever get the chance to dissect someone with them. Anyway, the point is, there's red lines all over my skin so no one can really tell the difference.

"Nano-what now?"

"This."

Much like Kazuma, I too consider myself a shining example of true gender equality that hopes to inspire the hearts of all.

So, when she lunged at me, I easily stepped to the side with the help of my copiously enhanced body and jammed my elbow into her back while at the same time burying my knee in her gut.

Oooh, I am ashamed of myself for almost feeling sorry for her.

So, I corrected the mistake by grabbing her head and shoving it through the floor much like she did mine.

Know the pecking order, swine.

I like ruining people mentally but that doesn't mean I can't physically make them reconsider their life choices.

Sucking it in, she jerked up and swiped at my legs with her own instead of catching her breath... I can respect that.

Only... Nanomachines son!

Come back when you can kick through Tungsten!

I looked down at her calmly, "Is this over? Cause I'm pretty sure I broke a few of your ribs. You need medical attention."

"...Y-Yes." She relented with a long sigh, lowering her head in shame to stare at the ground, "You are right in looking down on me."

Know the difference between heaven and Earth! You bug!

Sighing, I put a hand on her shoulder, "Come on, you did pretty good. You were up against the wrong person. I can see that you've worked really hard."

Honestly, why did God make me such an angel?

Also, gaslighting goes hard as hell.

"You mean, you think I'm... skilled?" She looked up curiously, "And the matchup was wrong? Are nanomachines a specialised defensive spell? Or is it body enhancement?"

"Uhh... both?"

To be honest, it'd be kind of funny if the whole magical side of the world thinks I'm using magecraft.

"Hm, I see." She put a hand to her chin.

Also, she's taking a one sided loss way too well for an egotistic brat.

"I apologise for my rude remarks." She interrupted my profound thoughts... but she's blonde so it checks out, "Rest assured, I will not keep my loss a secret."

"...Where'd your ego go? Aren't you gonna be a sore loser?" I prodded out of pure curiosity.

She looked up and smiled, putting a hand over her heart, "My pride is not so frail as to fall apart over public image. To lose to an overwhelmingly superior magus, is not a thing for an Edelfelt to regret. You've given me reason to work harder... N-Not to say that I...I don't treasure your acknowledgement of my hard work."

Bro, you're 12.

What the fuck?

"The Clock Tower will know that you deserve your position as the Matou head in the eyes of the Edelfelt." She nodded in approval before standing up to her feet and dusting off her clothes.

...You have broken ribs, stop being this nonchalant.

Aaaand she's walking away like nothing happened, "I accept my loss but next time will be different, Shinji Matou."

Holy shit she just did that cool protagonist walk away wave.

"That was a good move, Shinji." Waver patted my shoulder, putting his cigar to his mouth, "You encountered the Edelfelt family heir and won her approval."

Of course, everything was 100% calculated.

I definitely didn't wing it.

"You got lucky she doesn't think losing is disgraceful like many of the others here do." He smiled slightly, "And she'll defend your reputation too... because it got linked with hers... That's an extremely smart play on your part."

I looked up at him, and then pointed at the door she left from, "She's 12, right?"

"She's from a long line of magi, what were you expecting?" He chuckled at my confusion, "Come along."

Before I could follow him, I felt something tug at my sleeve and turned around to spot a little head of purple leaning against my harm, "You're not... hurt, right, Nii-sama?"

If you're going to call me that, do it the right way... Fulfil one of the fantasies of every man out there goddammit!

"Actually yes I am."

She trembled slightly.

"I can't believe you think we're not close enough for you to call me Nii-chan."

I'd like to think she smiled at that, "Then... Nii-chan, are you hurt?"

"No, your brother's strong even without his tongue."

Yes, more and more emphasis on us being siblings.

"Now come on." I grabbed her little hand and followed behind Waver.

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