THIS DAMN LIFE
Haneul felt a lump form in his throat as he struggled to process the doctor's words. "Stage 4? What does that mean exactly?" he managed to ask, his voice barely above a whisper.
"It means that the cancer has spread beyond the lungs to other parts of your body, such as your liver and bones," the doctor explained gently. "Unfortunately, it's quite advanced."
Haneul's heart sank. His already hoarse voice cracked as he asked, "Is it treatable?"
The doctor's expression softened with understanding. "Given the extent of the spread and the late stage of diagnosis, treatment options are limited," he admitted. "At this point, our focus will be on managing your symptoms and ensuring your comfort."
Haneul understood immediately what that meant. He- he was going to die. At that realization, he felt his whole body tremble. He felt so lightheaded that he couldn't think properly. He didn't even know what to feel at this moment.
"How long... how long do I have?"
"I wish I could give you a definitive answer," the doctor replied solemnly, "but with stage 4 lung cancer, it's difficult to predict. Based on your current condition and the aggressiveness of the cancer, I would estimate you have about three months left."
Three months. The words hung heavy in the air. Haneul only had three months left to live.
"We'll do everything we can to support you during this time," the doctor reassured him. "We'll explore options to manage your pain and keep you as comfortable as possible. And if there's anything else you need or any questions you have, please don't hesitate to ask. We're here for you every step of the way."
"Thank you, doctor," Haneul mumbled, then he stood up. "But there's no need for that."
Then he turned around and walked out of the doctor's office.
"Mr. Kang, please wait!"
He heard the doctor called. But Haneul ignored that and continued walking.
Three months. He only had three months to live.
A bitter laugh suddenly escaped his throat. He didn't feel sad or angry about that news. He just felt... numb. All the sadness and anger he had in him had already dried out. This dying body could no longer bring itself to feel anything. The last bit of emotion he had disappeared the moment his comatose sister died.
Last week, in this same hospital, Haeun - his younger sister, experienced cardiac arrest and subsequently flatlined. The doctors were unable to revive her, and she was declared as dead.
He was at work at the construction site when he received the news. When he arrived at the hospital, the only thing that welcomed him was his sister's cold body. He couldn't remember what happened or what he did after that.
A nurse told him that he was beside himself. He was wailing and shouting beside his sister's hospital bed. And then, probably because of too much emotion, he fainted.
When he woke up, he moved mechanically, as if on autopilot. Arranging his younger sister's funeral with a detached efficiency. Three days later, he found himself burying yet another family member—the last remaining one he had.
Ten years ago, a car accident took away the lives of his parents. His sister was with them at the time, and the accident left her in a coma. He was only 18 back then, barely an adult.
The doctors told him that the chance of his sister waking up again was very low. So, it's better if he pulled the life support now. Not just for him, but also for his sister. They emphasized the importance of allowing her to rest peacefully and sparing her from further suffering.
But Haneul couldn't do it. How could he when Haeun was the only one left he could call family? So, he decided to keep her on life support. To afford that, he did not continue college and started working right after he graduated from high school.
He worked all kinds of jobs, mostly in customer service. Because he was thankfully gifted with a nice-enough face, he could be easily hired for jobs that involved interacting with others, such as working in restaurants or cafes. Of course, the income in those jobs wasn't exactly enough, so he also had to do other side jobs.
Because of his appearance, there were times when he was approached to do... unsavory things. Of course, he refused. Even at his lowest point, he refused to compromise his dignity by resorting to selling himself for an easier way out. How could he ever look his parents in the eye if he did that?
But even those kind offers disappeared as years went by. With all the jobs he had to go to in a day, it's hard to take care of one's self. His once good looks slowly deteriorated.
He had been working and working, that's all he had done. He couldn't even take one step towards the dream that he had buried in his heart since he was a child. He worked just so he could keep his sister alive. Slowly, it became his only reason to live.
That's how his life had been for the past 10 years. And now, even that worthless life seemed to be ending.
Haneul stopped in his tracks when he saw his reflection on the floor to ceiling glass wall of the hospital. With tangled black hair, a frail body that seemed like it could be blown away by a breeze, and dark circles under his eyes, he looked nothing like his former self. Now, anyone who saw him would just think he was sick.
And according to the doctor he spoke to earlier, he was.
He probably wouldn't even know that he was dying if not for him fainting in this hospital last week. They did a perfunctory test only to find out that something was wrong with him.
Lung cancer. Ha!
It seemed that his years of smoking had led to this. Not only did smoking destroy his vocal chords, but it also destroyed his lungs. But what could he have done? Smoking had become his only way to cope with the exhaustion of each day. Even now, he couldn't wait to light up a cigarette.
Haneul continued walking. Each of his steps was heavy. He kept on walking, and walking, ignoring all the surrounding sounds.
"Look, isn't that Jung Taeyang?"
"Wow! He's so handsome!"
He heard the voice of a group of girls nearby. This made Haneul stopped walking. He subconsciously followed their gaze and saw a huge billboard of a handsome man wearing a suit. He was smirking at the camera, as if he knew that people would still find him handsome even if he did.
The man on that huge billboard was shining brightly. A stark contrast to him, who was drowning in dirty, murky water.
He felt something wet drop in his hand. He looked down at his palm and saw a few more droplets fall. It was only then that he realized that he was crying.
Oh. So, he still had tears left to cry.
Was he sad because he's going to die? No. There was nothing for him in this life, so he didn't mind if he died today or tomorrow. It wouldn't really make much of a difference.
He cried out in anger and frustration, mourning all that had been taken from him. The past 10 years felt like an endless nightmare rather than a life worth living.
Before he could wipe away his tears, Haneul heard a panicked scream beside him.
"Sarang-ah!!!" a woman shouted, looking with widened eyes at the road.
Haneul glanced in that direction and spotted a young boy, about four or five years old, chasing after a ball. His heart skipped a beat as he also noticed a truck heading straight toward the child.
Without a second thought, he dashed forward, overtaking the woman who had shouted moments before. Surprised by his own agility, he reached the boy just as the truck closed in. With quick reflexes, he shoved the child out of harm's way without hesitation.
He felt a huge impact hit his body and then he floated mid-air. All he could think of as that happened was...
'This damn life is finally coming to an end.'
Before his eyes closed, the last thing he saw was Jung Taeyang's gray eyes staring down at him from that damn billboard, as if mocking the life he had lived.
***
Pronunciation of some names:
Kang Haneul - Kang Ha(↑)-nul(↓)
Kang Haeun - Kang Ha(↑)-yun(↓)
Jung Taeyang - Jung Te(↑)-yang(↓)
*The arrows represented voice intonation.
***
AUTHOR'S WORDS:
Hi! This is Tyramisu! I've really been wanting to write an omegaverse for a while now, but I just haven't been able to choose the right setting for it. Like, should I write it in a medieval/fantasy setting or a modern one? Things like that. But when I was choosing between the two, it was a time when I was kind of into idol korean novels. So, I was a bit influenced by that and just wrote a BL idol novel. LOL.
If you have read my two other BLs here (The Return of the God Level Assassin and The Number One Star in the Interstellar Era), you're probably already familiar with my writing style. I don't really put smut in my novel. So, even though this is Omegaverse, don't expect very detailed R18 scenes. It will also be very slow burn. (⌒_⌒;)
Anyways, thank you for reading chapter 1! I hope you will be interested enough to continue the novel. ^^