Dinner with Darkness

Earth land, Ishgar, Kingdom of Fiore, Onibus.

May 11, x785.

After the duel, Alfonzo and the girls headed inside before making their way down into the game room to chat, drink, and play games. And during that time, Erza became the first of the girls to take the initiative to speak with Yoruichi. And after their duel, Erza did not seem to hold nearly as much hostility as the others. In fact, it was practically non-existent.

Another thing to take note of was the fact that Elicia also had a one-on-one talk with Yoruichi after Erza finally let her go. Though no one heard their conversation, they did hear and/or see when Elicia slapped Yoruichi, which was swiftly followed by Elicia's tight hug and river of tears. And after all that, Elicia and Yoruichi, though not as close as before, seemed to be on good terms again.

On a side note, after Elicia slapped Yoruichi, Alfonzo had to physically restrain Sui-Feng with his magic. Otherwise, she would have attacked Elicia… And gotten her ass kicked… again.

Also, a lot of wizards from Fairy Tail stopped by to wish Alfonzo and Elicia Happy Birthday. And just as everyone expected, Natsu and Gray were thoroughly confused when Elicia pulled them into hugs and thanked them for the wonderful gift. However, Gray seemed to understand after Lucy explained everything to him. Meanwhile, Natsu remained clueless.

Despite the jovial atmosphere in the game room, there were a few genuinely tense moments. And it all happened when Ur showed up. At first, it was when she made eye contact with Yoruichi, and immediately flooded the room with her magic power pressure. The second was when Sui-Feng lost her temper and tried to attack Ur for her perceived disrespect, an action that made Alfonzo face-palm.

'We had a conversation about respect being earned and not given, like, three hours ago.' Alfonzo muttered internally after seeing Sui-Feng, who was still in an attacking posture, sprawled out on the floor and encased in ice.

["I'm not sure about this, but I think she was paying more attention to whether you were going to kill her or not, back then."] Bedlam replied mirthfully.

'I guess… I mean, there's a small, somewhat inconsequential chance that I overdid it with the killing intent and magic power pressure back then.' Alfonzo replied sheepishly.

Luckily, Ur did not deem it necessary to go any further after that. However, she did let Yoruichi know that she was on thin ice…. Pun intended… Before releasing Sui-Feng from the ice.

Then, after the party was over, everyone not living in the mansion, including Lucy, went home. The following day, Elicia bunkered down in her workstation to replace everyone's battle attire with new Vibranium ones. And although she was not able to finish them for Alfonzo and all the girls, she continued to work until it was time for her and Alfonzo to head to Onibus the next day.

The next day, Alfonzo and Elicia hopped into Alfonzo's new magic vehicle, a two-seater that resembled a black 67 Camero with raised suspension, and headed to Onibus to see the play Team Natsu would be performing at the Onibus Theater.

Arriving about half an hour before the curtain was lifted, they had a chance to speak with their guild mates and wish them good luck before heading to the audience seats and getting seated in the front row. Then, the play went just as it did in canon.

At first, everything started well with Lucys Silver Celestial Spirit, Lyra, a girl with a young appearance with waist-length, strawberry-blonde hair, black eyes, and round blush marks on her cheeks wearing a long, blue dress with pink and yellow hearts printed on the waist, white, feathered shoes, and small wings and a harp on her back, sang the opening song while narrating the play.

However, as soon as Erza stepped on stage, everything went to hell, just as expected. With Erza immediately freezing up, Gray getting his character's name wrong when introducing himself, Natsu trying to burn down everything in sight in his role as the dragon, and Lucy shouting at all of them through it all.

However, there was a difference in this performance and the canon version. And that was the fact that Wendy was part of the cast. And her role was to play a servant girl who brought the daily necessities to Princess Yanderica, played by Lucy, while she was in captivity. And although it was clear that Wendy was nervous, she played her part wonderfully.

Another difference was the fact that the theater was not destroyed after the performance. And that was thanks to the efforts of Alfonzo, Elicia, and to a lesser extent, Wendy, who used their magic to avoid as much damage as possible.

Then, after the show, Alfonzo and Elicia congratulated the members of Team Natsu, who were once again showered with applause after the show, before getting back in their car and making their way to Crocus, where they would stay until Crawford Seam and Org's executions.

And that brings us to the present. Currently, Alfonzo and Elicia were making their way through the streets of Fiore's capital while looking for a place to have dinner.

"*Sigh* Even though they have Gray on their team, who actually makes an effort to not destroy things for the guild points, I don't' know how they make any money after their quests with Natsu and Erza in their team.' Elicia said with a giggle. "It's amazing they actually have rent money at the rate their going."

Actually, that only seems to apply to Natsu." Alfonzo replied with a smile. "I mean, I still have no idea where that guy even lives. As for rent, most of them don't need to worry about it, right? I mean, Lucy somehow scrapes by. Erza lives with us, and Gray keeps the damage down enough that he can afford his place. As for Wendy, I heard that Erza gives her a portion of her own earnings to make sure that she can afford the rent at Marin's old spot."

"I guess you're right." Elicia replied with a nod. "Now that you mention it, though, I've never seen Natsu's place, either. Do you think he just lives in the guild hall?"

"Who knows." Alfonzo replied with a shrug. "As long as he's not destroying the town, it really doesn't matter where he lives."

"Yeah." Elicia replied with a smile. "By the way, Fonzie, what do you want to eat?"

"Hmm…" Alfonzo hummed in response while rubbing his chin contemplatively. "I'm kind of in the mood for Caribbean."

"But that's food from our old world." Elicia said with an eyebrow raised. "If you don't cook it, where do you expect to find food like that in this world?"

In response, Alfonzo smiled cheekily in Elicia's direction. However, before he could answer her question, he caught sight of a tall, stunningly beautiful, blonde woman with blue eyes walking in their direction. And his expression immediately changed to one filled with apprehension.

"Huh? Fonzie, what's wrong?" Elicia asked before turning her head in the direction of Alfonzo's gaze.

And as soon as Elicia caught sight of the blonde woman, her expression changed in the same way as Alfonzo's.

"Oh, if it isn't Alfonzo Marcus and Elicia Taylor." The blonde woman, Darkness, said while flushing slightly at the expressions Alfonzo and Elicia wore. "What brings you to the capital on this fine day?"

"Damn, we had to run into this degenerate, didn't we?" Alfonzo muttered under his breath.

Although Darkness should not have been close enough to hear Alfonzo's muttering, the blush on her face intensified while she began to fidget.

"Oh, its Darkness." Elicia said with a smile while nudging Alfonzo in the side with her elbow. "We came to Crocus to witness the execution tomorrow."

"I see." Darkness replied with a nod. "That is quite---

"Actually, since you seem to be off duty, should we call you Lady Lolatina, instead?" Elicia asked while tilting her head innocently.

Immediately, Darkness' words ground to a halt along with her movements. Then, with a cramped smile, she replied to Elicia's question.

"Please, I'd prefer if you continued to call me Darkness." Darkness replied.

"Oh, I see." Elicia replied with a smile. "Well, we were on our way to have dinner. Would you like to join us?"

As soon as that last question left Elicia's mouth, Alfonzo leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Lici? What the hell are you doing?" Alfonzo asked quietly. "Although seeing her antics in KONOSUBA was hilarious, I'm not built to deal with them in person."

"Calm down, Fonzie." Elicia said with a reassuring smile. "I had an idea. And I wanted to test it out. Just follow my lead, okay?"

"*Sigh* If you say so." Alfonzo replied while shaking his head.

Meanwhile, Darkness had frozen on the spot. It was quite rare for those who knew of her… proclivities… to actively invite her to spend time together. So, she was on the verge of tears. But at the same time, she could feel the disgust Alfonzo had for her, so she was shivering in excitement while the blush on her face deepened. It was quite the jarring contrast to anyone who could see her at the moment.

"I would be honored." Darkness replied after getting herself together.

"Good, then you should follow us." Elicia replied cheerfully. "Fonzie wanted some rather unique cuisine. And we were just about to head to the restaurant that serves it."

"Unique cuisine?" Darkness asked, her curiosity peaked.

"Yeah, but it can be quite spicy." Alfonzo replied, taking on a polite tone like Elicia. "If you can't handle spicy food, I wouldn't recommend it."

"Oh, don't worry, I can handle spicy food!" Darkness exclaimed. "The feel of your mouth and throat burning from the inside. The expectations of those around you to finish, despite the fact that you feel as if you may pass out. The fear of… Ahh… being forced to finish everything on your plate even when you can't handle it. Oh~~~ I love spicy food."

Hearing that, Alfonzo and Elicia could only smile wryly while Alfonzo shot Elicia a skeptical glance.

"Trust me." Elicia mouthed while Darkness was lost in her delusions.

"Lady Lolatina, please, follow us." Alfonzo said after shaking his head.

Meanwhile, after being called by her real name once again, Darkness immediately snapped back to reality. Then, she put on a slight pout.

"Please, I insist you call me Darkness." Darkness replied.

"Oh, my apologies." Alfonzo said with a glint of amusement flashing in his eyes.

With that, Alfonzo, Elicia, and Darkness started walking once again. And during the walk, Elicia spoke with Darkness about fashion. More specifically, the white sundress and matching low heels Darkness was wearing on her day off.

Eventually, Alfonzo led the ladies to a certain restaurant a few streets off the main street.

"Here we are." Alfonzo said with a smile.

Hearing that, Elicia and Darkness looked up to read the shop sign.

"Ah, I get it." Elicia replied with a nod of understanding.

"Hmm… I can't say that I've ever dined here before." Darkness said while looking up at the sign. "Sixth Sense Restaurant and Lounge. Well, if it has the name Sixth Sense on it, it must be of incredible quality. Or so say the other businesses with the same name." {A/N: Shameless plug, I know...}

"Well, then, let's go in." Alfonzo said with a smile.

A moment later, Alfonzo opened the door to the restaurant and held it for Elicia and Darkness. And to his surprise, Darkness looked a bit uncomfortable to have Alfonzo being so gentlemanly with her. Still, she entered the restaurant.

"So, that's it." Alfonzo muttered. "Her switch shouldn't get flipped as long as we don't do anything insulting. Why did I never think of that?"

After thinking aloud for a moment, Alfonzo followed the ladies into the restaurant. Then, he got a table for three. And when they were led to their table, Alfonzo made a point of pulling out both Elicia and Darkness' chairs for them, making Darkness even more uncomfortable.

Then, after they were all seated, the hostess explained the specials for the day and took their drink orders before leaving them to browse the menu.

"So, what is this unique cuisine you mentioned, Mr. Marcus." Darkness asked in a slightly awkward tone.

"Oh, please, just call me Alfonzo." Alfonzo said with a friendly smile.

"And you can call me Elicia, or just Lici if you prefer." Elicia added energetically.

"Very well, if you insist." Darkness replied with a nod and a small smile. "Then, Alfonzo, which of these dishes is the one you were referring to?"

With that, Alfonzo flipped through the menu until he came across the page he was looking for. Then, he turned his menu towards Darkness while pointing at two entries in particular.

"I'm actually trying to decide on one of these." Alfonzo said.

In response, Darkness leaned forward slightly to read the dishes' descriptions.

"Let's see… Jerk Chicken or Roti with Goat… I must say, I've never heard of either of those dishes." Darkness said after reading the names of the two dishes. "But I must admit, they look quite delectable based on the images provided with the description. And they seem to be quite spicy, as well."

"Yeah, they're pretty spicy." Alfonzo replied with a nod.

"Well, how about this." Darkness said with an excited gleam in her eyes. "We can both order one. Then, we can split them. That way, we both get to try both dishes."

Hearing that, Alfonzo and Elicia were surprised. However, they went along with the idea. Even so, Elicia, who was not the biggest fan of spicy food, ordered something much milder from another region's cuisine.

Eventually, the waiter arrived with their drinks and took the table's orders. And while the trio waited for their food, they continued to chat. And all the while, Alfonzo and Elicia spoke as politely and cheerfully as possible, which made darkness a bit uncomfortable. Especially since she was looking forward to the disgusted gazes she usually received from the two.

'What's going on here?' Darkness asked herself. 'They're acting totally different then usual. AS if the way I usually act doesn't bother them at all. That should be a good thing, right? I mean, it's like they've accepted me for who I am. But why does it make me so uncomfortable?'

What Darkness did not know is that she could feel the underlying disgust that Alfonzo and Elicia felt for the way she usually acted. However, because they were both wearing such perfect masks, she could not tell.

Unfortunately, all of Alfonzo's and Elicia's hard work was ruined once the food arrived.

"Well, let's eat." Alfonzo said once he and Darkness had divided their orders between them.

"Yes, let's." Darkness said as she elegantly cut a piece of Jerk Chicken before putting it in her mouth.

Immediately afterwards, Darkness eyes lit up as her cheeks reddened.

"Oh~ my~ God~~~~~!" Darkness exclaimed loudly. "It's so spicy! Mmm~~~! It feels like the inside of my mouth is being melted away! And I'm losing sensation in my tongue! Ahn~~~! Such torture! Oh, and when it slides down my throat… Mmm~~~~~!"

As she shouted all her discomfort, Darkness continued to eat while moaning loudly and squirming in ecstasy.

Meanwhile, Alfonzo and Elicia stopped their movements completely with expressions of disbelief on their faces. Then, when Darkness eventually passed out from an overload of both pain and pleasure, they sighed in unison.

"*Sigh* I guess shutting down a Darkness-level pervert is impossible." Alfonzo said in an exasperated tone while Darkness' unconscious body twitched at his words.

"She's like a natural disaster." Elicia added. "Stopping her is impossible, you can only hope to contain the damage."