Chapter 7

The rest of the week was a blur. Not to mention disappointing.

I expected Isabella to snap at me anytime. But instead, she avoided me like plague. Sometimes I went to the extent of staring at her like a creep to provoke her anger, but she just ignored it.

Even gorilla-man (or JJ, as informed by my fellow worker whose name I forgot) did not jump on me, as I had expected, to defend Isabella's shattered honor.

Guess I should not have such high expectations from my colleagues in the field of drama.

My blurry mind suddenly got cleared as I saw the date.

It was the anniversary of that day.

The day I wished never happened.

The day I wished to forget.

The day my father died.

All these years had passed but I can still feel the pain of that day as if it had happened yesterday. Nothing could erase the grief that the incident gave me. No matter how many alternate scenarios I played in my mind, how many times I thought of it all a dream, I could never escape from the reality.

A disaster that could have been prevented by me.

It was my stubbornness that took the life of a rightful, virtuous human being.

An understanding and caring man who was always willing to do anything for the well-being of the people around him.

And I killed him.

Ever since that day, I could never come even close to forgive myself for what happened.

At least this time it was a Saturday. So I would not have to excuse myself from work for two days straight and think of some stupid reason.

It was odd that the only thing that helped me get through this day was something as trivial as coffee.

I was afraid to sleep on this day. Afraid to close my eyes for even a minute. Because as soon as I lose consciousness, the memories of that day haunt me.

Memories that envelop me like smoke in a burning room.

Choking me with every breath.

Paralyzing me with every step.

Killing me a little bit every day.

Until the paralyzing memory consumes me and leaves me defenseless as I let the haunting emptiness engulf me.

It was quite funny how several cups of coffee and a book keep someone's mind distracted for some time.

The words of the book were unable to reach my brain and eventually lost into the vast abyss along with several other menial incidents that had happened in my life.

I was reading, turning the pages, following the lines, but still unable to grasp even a single word. The bitterness of the coffee left an unpleasant flavor in my mouth. But it was the least of my concern because even though I try to avoid it, my mind always leans towards that particular day which I try so hard to forget.

I proceed to refill my empty cup after my last sip when I see that I have run out of coffee. I look at the clock and see it was already 1:30 am. Too late to go to the shops.

Finally, I decide on having a dreadful sleep filled with nothing but pain and despair.

Glancing at the book on the table, I see the title.

The Fear

How appropriate.

The Enemy

The Dead

The Fear

The Sacrificed

The Fallen

Guess now, I should just sacrifice myself and fall. Maybe then I would find some peace.

But I could not be any more wrong. Because as soon as I lay on the bed, what I experienced was fear in its purest form and there was no hint of peace.