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F*ck Humans Are A Bunch Of Psychos!

What the hell?! At first, we were wiping the floor with those four-limbed mammalians! But what is this situation?! What the hell is the human fleet doing in our capital solar system?! The emperor thought as he watched the live video feed of a human battleship ram his empires fleets cruiser after the battleship's canons melted down from firing nonstop from the start of the battle. Only to hear his anxious ministers report. What?! The humans are orbital dropping their ground forces and beginning orbital bombardment during a fleet battle?! What the f*ck are they nuts?!? P.S. This book is inspired by The Strongest Interstellar Commander its a great book I suggest reading it.

DRACULAVONDEATH · Romance
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50 Chs

C20

"Urgh"

I groaned in pain as I opened my eyes while feeling like my head was about to split apart from all the alcohol I drank.

Only to feel something soft and firm pressing against my back with someone's arms and legs wrapped around me like a Kuala.

I turned my head only to see Lilith's sleeping face.

As I did my brain short-circuited for a moment only for my memories of last night to resurface in my mind.

As they did I laid down on Lilith's bed.

For f*cks sake Drac! Of all women, you could have f*cked! You had to f*ck Lilith! Lilith Godamn Reed!

I couldn't help but curse at myself in my mind as I felt imaginary tears run down my cheeks.

But I must say Lilith is not only crazy about mechs but she is also crazy in bed.

I couldn't help but think after going through the wild f*cking marathon we did inside my memories only to feel and hear movement in the bed.

"Urgh..."

Lilith slowly sat up in her bed as she grabbed her head causing the blanket covering to slide down and expose her body which upon laying my eyes on I couldn't help but feel Drac junior start reporting for duty.

Stand down, trooper!

I mentally barked only to lock my eyes with Lilith's purple ones.

We both stared at each other until Lilith finally spoke up.

"Last night never happened!"

...

"You just had to tare apart my clothes!"

Lilith barked as she searched for another pair of sports bra in her locker.

"Says the one who ripped my T-shirt!"

I barked back as I put on my shorts.

...

As Lilith peeked her head outside her room after opening her doors I couldn't help but stare at her bent backs stuck-out heart-shaped ass covered in her spare sports shorts.

"It's clear"

Lilith said after finishing her scouting as she turned around only to see a tent in my shorts.

Lilith's brain froze for a moment but the more she looked the bigger an itch in her panties became until she couldn't help but swallow a gulp of saliva.

The pleasure that she felt last night was completely unequal to when she does it herself.

After all, she was a grown woman whose hormones were off the charts after her augmentations.

And even though she acted like nothing happened last night deep down she liked Dracula why else she would keep pestering her father for ten whole years?

Seeing her reaction I couldn't help blurt out.

"Round two?"

As I did Lilith slammed the door back shut with her leg as she jumped onto me like a wild beast before I could even take off my shorts.

In the end, we went on another f*cking marathon and by the end of it Lilith could barely stand straight because of how sore she was.

...

"F*ck my d*ck is sore as f*ck!"

I couldn't help but curse while taking a shower back in my office that didn't change a bit over the last ten years only for my HUD to turn on.

"Im listening what's the matter?"

I asked after accepting a call as Ares's holographic picture appeared in the top corner of my view.

"Stinky brat! You ask what's the matter?! Where the f*ck are you?!"

Hearing Are's words I couldn't help but raise my eyebrow.

"I'm taking a shower"

I answered as I turned off my shower.

"Brat do you want the rank of admiral or not?! Didn't you read the orders that I sent you over last night?!"

Hearing this I quickly opened my mailbox and there they were, the orders to report to Ragnarok hangar at 12.00 sharp and it was already 40 minutes ago.

"I'll be there in 20 Mike!"

I said while storming off from my shower as I hang up the call.

...

Hmph! This son of mine is not so good after all!

Ares couldn't help but think in his mind as he snorted only to hear his XOs words.

"Sir apart from Captain Von Death there is one more who still hasn't arrived"

Hearing this the marshal's face darkened instantly.

"Hmph! Who is it?! Who dares to be late at my son's promotion!"

Ares snapped.

"It's Lilith Reed the commander of Einherjars onboard ODMT battalion"

Just as Ares was about to call the secret police onboard Martian to drag Lilith over he stopped as an Idea surfaced in his mind.

Wait a minute! Taking a shower? A man and a woman missing both at the same time? Hehehe it seems like I'm about to have a daughter-in-law.

After all, Ares was young once too and was quite experienced in relations between fellow service members.

Ares thought as he couldn't help but start snickering only for his face to morph into one that looked like had just eaten shit.

For f*ck sake son! Of all the women on Martian did it have to be a Reed?!

The gloomy Ares couldn't help but curse at his son's poor choice.

...

Just as I stepped onto the train leading to Ragnarok dressed in my latest issue white service uniform that I found in my office after looking for my old one I saw Lilith wearing her service uniform with medals for her accomplishments on alpha century prime step in too with shaky steps.

I saw Lilith shoot a glare full of hatred toward me as she limped towards a seat and sat down.

"You know I can piggyback you"

I said awkwardly while scratching my hair as I sat down next to her only to receive another glare full of hatred.

For f*cks sake, woman you're the one who jumped onto me!

I couldn't help but curse in my mind as I felt wronged after all I was sore too while hailing up the marshal.

"Speak!"

"Cough* Dad lieutenant colonel Reed can't come to the ceremony because..."

Just as I was racking my brain on the excuse I should come up with Ares cut me off.

"Understood!"

Ares said and hung up.

Huh?

I couldn't help but exclaim mentally at how easily Ares agreed no questions asked.

...

F*ck! It really is a Reed!

The depressed Ares with black lines all over his face couldn't help but curse mentally after hanging up his son's call.

...

"You can go back I took care of it"

I said while looking at still pissed off Lilith only to receive an HMPH! from her.

...

"I marshal Von Death for the selfless sacrifice shown in the battle of alpha century and actions that lead to the defeat of the Holy Briaan Empires fleet I raise Captains Von Death's rank to Admiral!"

Ares said loudly at the top of his voice with pride evident in it after all it was his son and he was the youngest Admiral in UNOE history from this day on, so how could he not be full of pride thou his women's preferences are quite questionable but it's alright overall his son is still the best.

As he pinned the four stars on my shoulders and after that gave a full power punch to my chest but just like last time I didn't move an inch.

As he did the hangar packed full of military personnel erupted with deafening applause as the military reporters and civilian ones started taking pictures to commemorate this historic moment.

Which would later be considered the real turning point of human history by the UNOEs historians.

"Congratulations son, but did it have to be a Reed? You know that their whole family is a bunch of crazies right?"

Ares said as he shook my hand.

Hearing Ares's words I couldn't help but crack a wry smile.

It seems like this old dog has a really keen sense of smell.

I thought while telling an excuse.

"It's complicated"

"Complicated huh? Alright good luck with the reporters"

Ares said while grinning evilly.

Tch! This bastard father of mine!

I couldn't help but curse as I stepped down to face the reporters that had millions of questions.

"Alright, alright everyone please keep quiet I have some breaking news!"

I barked as politely as I could because I was currently being live-translated.

Hearing this the reporters pushed their microphones even closer to my face.

"My father and minister of service General Hana Grey are going to marry by the end of this year."

I said with an evil smirk on my face as an act of revenge for leaving me to deal with these bloodsuckers.

"BASTARD!"

I heard Ares scream as he quickly ran over and pushed me aside.

"Ahem! Don't mind my son he is still recovering from his injuries which include a SEVERE HEAD TRAUMA! So don't take his words to heart"

Ares said as he emphasized the severe head trauma while giving me a death stare to which I just innocently shrugged my shoulders only for his pupils to start glowing blue which was a sign of his HUD being turned on.

"I'm sorry I lied because I didn't want to ruin my surprise proposal I am getting married after all and it's by the end of this month"

"Hahaha...!"

I couldn't help but burst out laughing upon hearing Ares's words who changed his tune after receiving a call from Hana, its about time this dog of mine settled down.

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