Fall of the Rain

Standing there, more manly and formal, was the guy I loved. The one who left me, the one who broke my heart. My friend, my teacher, my love, my pain, my joy, my past – Lance.

His face is more angular, firmer than the last time I checked. He stood there with all his glory, and I was kind of blinded by his elevated charm.

A long second passed and my mind couldn't process anything. It was like I was standing inside the cage of a fierce lion, or locked in place with the stare of my predator. I couldn't breathe. When I saw the realization dawn his face, my body shook with different emotions.

"B-Blaze?" he asked breathlessly as his eyes sparkled with unmistakable joy. He didn't wait for my reply, instead, he closed the gap between us and crashed his body on mine with all the strength he could muster without hurting me physically, emotionally was another thing.

Shocked and caught by surprise, I didn't respond.

"Blaze… Blaze! I missed you… I missed you so much you can't even imagine how much I do! How did you get here?"

Here it is, the familiar warmth I'm yearning for, the arms I longed to wrap myself with. My heart throbbed and rejoiced, until it came to the point that it can't function properly anymore because of conflicting emotions.

The longing and emotion battled like there's no tomorrow. Soon enough, one outwitted the other and I said the words that surprised him, as it did to me.

"Get off…" I croaked soft as a whisper. I felt his body turn rigid, but didn't even flinch.

"What're you saying? I'm here now… I can explain-

"I said get off me!" I pushed him away as hard as I could. He stumbled backwards. My heart pumped with adrenaline, either because of the effect he still has over me or because of my anger. But one thing is for sure, the pain he inflicted triumphed over all the emotions I feel for him. His eyes widened in disbelief.

"Blaze? Aren't you happy to see me?" his voice croaked and pained colored every word he said. My heart flinched.

"Who cares?" I almost snickered at him to somehow show my hatred. But I guess I still couldn't afford to do it.

"What's all the commotion Joed?" a still half-asleep Rico said as he descends the stairs, his hair sticking out in every direction.

I froze even more if it was possible. Rico scratched his eyes as he reached the last steps and turned to him.

"Ri-" he started to talk but was cut-off by Rico when he finally saw me standing beside the mysterious piano.

"Irish? Honey!" what are you doing here so early in the morning?" he beamed and approached me, his arms open for a hug. I gingerly complied. When I pulled away, he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

It was kind of awkward, I mean, totally awkward. My fiancée and I were standing not even 5 meters away from the person I loved, having a chaste expression of our relationship. I can almost feel a hole on my face, caused by Lance's bipolar stare.

"I came here to give this back to you… you left it at my place…" I handed him his pouch. He took it eagerly with a look of relief. I smiled at him.

"Thanks, I'm looking all over for this…" he thanked me. Then an awkward second of silence followed.

"Um, by the way…"

Oh this is it. I mentally cringed. He looked back and forth between my face where I guess a mask of ease rests and to Lance's rigid posture.

"You look kind of disturbed, did something happen between you two?" he asked with a look of worry. So, the mask didn't work? Sigh.

Disturbed is an understatement Rico, I added mentally. I tried to formulate a viable reason for this. He raised an eyebrow when I failed to answer. I looked at Lance's bewildered expression as his eyes saddened; my heart felt a pinch or two. I did all I could to ignore it.

"Um… it was a mistake… he thought I was a thief, and I mistook him for a robber or something like that… so… yeah…" I reasoned quite unsurely. He laughed so hard that I thought his lungs would burst.

Is my alibi that bad? Nothing is funny in my opinion, and judging by the way Lance's shoulder sank, he probably thought the same.

"Ok, ok… sorry… ha-ha… Joed, I mean Lance… sorry dude, I'm not used in calling you by your real name. My eyes widened in disbelief.

"Joed? You mean, he is the pianist best friend you were talking about?" my voice raised a pitch from surprise and dread.

"Yeah… is there something wrong?" he asked me curiously. I just shook my head and stared dejectedly on the floor.

"Weird… maybe it's because of the way you guys first met…" he said, sighed, and pulled me close.

"So Lance, this is Irish Rivera, the love of my life, my god sent fiancée…" the room went dead silent, the one where you could almost hear a feather drop. I drew my eyes to look at Lance and I saw his fist form a tight ball – the way it always did when his in pain or in agony.

"Hey, you two look like you know each other… do you guys?" he looked back and forth between our distorted faces.

My throat went dry. Can I say it? Can I really say the truth?

"No…" I managed to utter. Lance's head snapped up. With a face smooth of any emotion, he confirmed my answer.

"Yeah… this is the first time I saw her…"

---

Great. Just great. It's so great that I wanted to punch someone on the face, or maybe strangle someone until he drew his last breath. Sigh.

Why did he have to come back after all these years? Why did he have to hug me fiercely and say those words? Why did he have to be so damn charming that I was stunned to silence? Most of all, why do I feel so crazily happy and agonized the same time?

Seriously, can somebody slap me over and over again until I return to my senses?

After the incident, I immediately excused myself and rushed home with my tail between my legs. I ran with my heart stupidly and hardly pounding that I could almost feel it reaching 20 meters ahead of me, my breathing in shallow puffs, and my knees almost giving out.

And now, one hour later, I'm curled up on my bed, soaking the mattress with tears. I'm crying because I'm angry. I'm crying because I hate him. I'm crying because I missed him so much and that I know I still love him. Stupid, stupid heart of mine. I can't even explain outright how I'm feeling.

Rico must be worried about me. I sensed it when he let go of my hands so that I could go home.

I'm so sorry Rico. Sigh.

I jumped from surprise when my phone alarm went off. It's time for my mom to be home. I quickly got off from my bed and ran to the bathroom to at least fix myself.

The woman on the mirror facing me is a mess. Her raven hair is sticking out in different angles and her eyes are puffy red from crying. I could do something for my hair, but the soreness of my eyes would be hard to hide.

Not long after I changed my clothes and combed my nest like hair, I heard the doorbell rang. It must be mom, I thought.

I checked myself on the mirror one last time. I look decent, but my eyes are still quite red. Never mind. I heard the doorbell ring again and I rushed down the stairs. When I opened the door, I almost slammed it close again when I saw who's on our porch. Lance, and he has a weird stuff on his hand stuck out for me to take. I didn't dare to look at his eyes again.