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Escape Artist

Seal master Uzumaki Naruto finally perfected a battle-use seal to rewind time for short moments. What the idiot forgot was that he tends to overdo things when in a pinch. MinaNaru, shounen-ai, slash, time travel, AU. Pairing: Namikaze Minato/Uzumaki Naruto Warnings: AU, MinaNaru, INCEST, Shounen-ai, Violence, Language, Angst, Mentions of Rape and Torture Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me, and I'm not making money off of this. Up to chapter 18 is not my story it is from a author on fanfiction.net the first 18 chapters were made by the author fiorea

Sirsniffs · Anime et bandes dessinées
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18 Chs

Watch Me Blush

A/N: Yay! I reached 100k words on this story!

Q: What's the difference between Naruto, Aka, Akashiori, and Haikage.

A: Naruto is recognized by the village as a friendly jounin and by the ANBU as a fellow Black Ops agent, Aka is a regular Hunter-nin managing one division of the Kage Kaigi team like Shikaku and Yamanaka Inokazu, Akashiori is the Hunter-nin who reports directly to the Hokage as Second-in-Command and takes high profile missions, and Haikage is the leading power in the shadows who deals with international relations and is technically ranked the same as the Hokage. It's for maneuverability in all levels of the shinobi ranks. Each character holds different amounts of power and places in different areas of shinobi affairs. Very few know of the connection between any them (e.g. Kage Kaigi members, ANBU Team 9).

Q: What happened to Minato's team in Rain the first time around, before Naruto used the time jutsu?

A: The team couldn't sense Naruto's chakra so they failed in finding him. The rest is up to your imagination.

Q: Is Shiro one of Naruto's personas?

A: No, he's a demon fox summon who can enter Naruto's mindscape because of Kyuubi.

Q: What's the deal with Kyuubi?

A: The pre-timetravel Kyuubi was only half if itself (Yang) because the Yondaime sealed his Yin half into the Shinigami. When Naruto traveled back in time, Kushina's Kyuubi (which is both Yin & Yang) merged into Naruto's Kyuubi since Naruto's seal is stronger than Kushina's. Currently, the only Kyuubi in existence is the one behind Naruto's seal, and he is both Yin & Yang.

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Jiraiya! Don't just stand there. Put some clothes on!" Sarutobi barked.

The Toad Sage's eyes widened comically when his free hand frantically patted his waist and found nothing but skin. "My scroll!"

Naruto snickered from the ground where he was curled up, clutching his cramping stomach.

"You burned my scroll," Jiraiya exclaimed, dazed. "Wait, the scroll is fireproof…"

"Pfft. Ero-Sennin, you're only thirty-something right? Isn't it a bit early for your brain to be failing you?" Naruto uncurled and stood with difficulty. "Are you perhaps looking for…this?"

The Hunter-nin pulled the massive scroll out of thin air, flaunting it at the flustered Sannin. They all watched as a wicked grin formed on Naruto's face.

"Naruto, what are you planning?" Minato knew that grin. It was the grin of the dreaded master prankster. He had learned to make himself scarce whenever it made its appearance.

As four fellow shinobi watched enthralled, Naruto unsealed a small, unused containment scroll from his pouch, sealed Jiraiya's scroll inside, reared back a chakra enhanced arm, and flung the scroll into the horizon.

Four sets of jaws dropped open.

Naruto whistled merrily.

"Y-you…" Jiraiya croaked, almost sounding like one of his toads.

"Good luck! The red light district is in that direction, so you better find it fast or else someone's going to pocket it and sell it before you're halfway there," Naruto informed him cheekily, mentally patting himself on the back. "But for your benefit, I made it so only your blood can unseal it." Naruto lifted a finger smudged with Jiraiya's blood from his wakizashi to show where he got the blood sample. "I even added a bit of your chakra signature around the scroll. Maybe if you're good enough, you might be able to trace it."

"Good enough?" Jiraiya retorted in outrage. "I'm the Toad Sage, one of the legendary Sannin, the connoisseur of gorgeous women, the–"

"Jiraiya!" Sarutobi barked as the naked man lifted his hands to his hips and straightened his back proudly, inadvertently emphasizing his uncovered crotch and chest. "Clothes!"

Naruto sniggered. Obviously, his Jiraiya wasn't as pragmatic as the he would be in two decades. Of course twenty years and a war would significantly change anyone; even five years and a war would mold Minato from the current guileless man into cunning Hokage-material. He just never imagined that Jiraiya had been this senseless in his youth. Even better was the way he responded so beautifully to the taunts. It was unfair, but it felt so good to get back at Ero-Sennin through this man, and Naruto didn't feel a single drop of guilt. In fact, he already had a long list of pranks lined up.

"Kid, I'll track you down later for our talk. You better hope I find that scroll without trouble," Jiraiya threatened him but failed to look menacing due to his nudity. Applying a henge of clothes and hair, he vanished with a furious puff.

Sarutobi could no longer hold back his guffaws. "Excellent performance as always, Naruto."

"Thanks, old man. You can stop worrying about my pranks now. I have a new victim," Naruto replied cheerfully.

"Don't go overboard." Sarutobi directed stern eyes at the blonde. "After your last Tokubetsu Jounin mission, two of your temporary team members nearly retired from field work."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. This is Ero-Sennin. He should be able to take whatever I throw at him."

"Take care. You probably know just as well as I that Jiraiya can become very hot-blooded when his masculinity is threatened."

Naruto waved off the warning with a careless hand and followed the Hokage to the remainder of his Shinobi Assessment.

"Whatever." The prankster smirked. "I'll just flash my Oiroke, and he'll forgive me right away."

Jiraiya grumbled unintelligibly to himself as he stalked down the street. The stupid kid had burned his clothes, burned off his magnificent hair, and exposed his manhood for his teacher, student, and esteemed colleague to see. He could count on the Commander to stay silent since he had an eccentric appreciation for humor, but Sarutobi-sensei and Minato were no doubt going to tease him mercilessly about the incident.

Then the brat threw away his scroll, which had landed right in the middle of a high end brothel guarded by mercenary shinobi. It had taken him hours to sneak in and out, though he had to admit, part of that was his own fault for getting distracted many times along the way.

He vowed to get revenge. Even after he had donned a new set of clothes, he had to remain under henge because his hair just Wouldn't. Grow. Back. He had immediately tried using his hair jutsu to elongate his hair, but because the fire had burned it down to the roots, there was nothing for the technique to work with, leaving his head depressingly bald and impressively shiny.

Jiraiya ducked into Ichiraku and paused before choosing the seat next to a black-haired civilian male.

"Good evening, Teuji-san, one beef for me…and one miso for this guy next to me."

The civilian jerked up from his bowl, staring at the large man with bewildered ebony eyes. "S-sir? Who…"

"Cut it out, kid. Sarutobi-sensei told me you'd be here tonight. He also told me how good you are with disguises."

The civilian stared at Jiraiya for several moments, breaking out in a large grin once he completed his scrutiny of the man. "Mediocre information gathering skills. I expected more from the 'Great Jiraiya-sama'. You should have collected, analyzed, and looked underneath the data before approaching." With a mock salute, he faded into smoke.

'…Kage Bunshin? No, expert Shunshin,' he thought dazedly, quickly sweeping the ramen stand. 'Where did he go?'

"Jiraiya-sama," Teuji announced, "here is your beef ramen, and…do you know what happened to your friend?"

"Friend?"

"Yes, I have the miso ramen you ordered for him."

"He's, uhh…well, he's…" Jiraiya scrambled for words.

The ramen stand owner narrowed his eyes. "If your friend left without paying, I will have to ask you to cover his ten bowls," Teuji told him firmly.

"Ten bowls?" Jiraiya repeated incredulously. Damn, that little brat!

As the Toad Sage walked out of the stand, the owner ran after him and called out, "Thank you for your business, Jiraiya-sama." Teuji bowed to him in gratitude. "It's very kind of you to pay for Naruto-kun's meal."

"What, Teuji-san, you knew it was him?"

"Of course I knew, you big pervert." Teuji gave him a foxy smile. "I was there the whole time!" With a puff, the 'owner' dispelled, leaving a furious Jiraiya alone in the street.

"NARUTO!"

Elsewhere, the blonde strolled contentedly, rubbing his full stomach and laughing at the perverted Sannin. He would have to do something nice for Ichiraku's owner. The entire incident had been a prank with the Hokage, Teuji, and Teuchi as accomplices.

Naruto was jarred from his triumph when he was suddenly slammed down, face mashing into the ground to eat dirt. When did he–?!

"Finally found you, insufferable brat," Jiraiya growled under his breath, grinding his foot down on Naruto's back. "We're going to talk." He hauled the blonde up and over his shoulders roughly and vanished with a puff to reappear in front of a hotel. Bystanders stared in amusement at the large man manhandling a loud, thrashing boy through the lobby.

Once they entered a rented room, Jiraiya dumped his struggling luggage onto the bed and took a seat in a chair.

"First we're going to talk. Afterwards, I'm going to get you back for my hair."

Naruto snorted. "Your hair didn't grow back?"

Jiraiya scowled. "Alright, I heard from Gamabunta that you're gotten yourself in a bind. Explain it to me."

Leaning against the headboard, Naruto calmed and looked at him expressionlessly. "I can't tell you anything without getting Jijii's approval."

"Done. I already spoke with him."

Naruto eyed the man warily and sighed, closing his eyes as a hint of his previous depression returned. "I made a time rewind jutsu seal – just for short moments. Several minutes max. But in battle, I accidentally put too much power into it and sent myself back twenty-four years. I've reviewed all the existing scrolls on time travel and dimension hopping theory, and they all say the same thing as my own conclusions." The blond opened his shadowed eyes. "I can't go back to my time, and the future – my personal future – has been erased. I don't know what happened to the others in my timeline. Maybe their lives go on, and I've only gone missing. Or maybe they've been erased too…"

"I wouldn't believe you if it weren't for Gamabunta. He was laughing about it, but I can only offer my condolences." Jiraiya shook his head solemnly. "Do you want to return to your timeline? The toads recognized you, so that could be a lead."

Naruto was silent for one long minute. "…Yes…and no. I want to see my friends so badly. They're my family, you know. But now that I've gotten to know people in this time, I feel like I can't abandon them to what's to come… Ero-Sennin, it gets bad. Really bad. There are wars, destruction, and death. Now that I realize this Konoha is just as real as mine, I don't want this Konoha to suffer through that." His jaw clenched in miserable frustration. "Damn it! I got attached. I don't want you and Minato and Kakashi and the others to feel the pain. Now that I've seen everyone's smiles…"

Jiraiya studied the man staring down at his fists, finally seeing more to the mischievous brat than his pranks and smirks. "Naruto, you're a good man, too selfless for your own good, and I want to thank you for that. I don't know if I could have made the same decision. I don't think many could."

Naruto jerked at his future/past godfather's words. "Th-that means a lot to me." He raised his eyes to meet the Toad Sage's. It was bright with unshed tears, filled with relief as a weight fell off his shoulders at having another person who knew and supported him.

A shaky grin formed on his lips. "I'm making you help. I'm going to work you hard, Ero-Sennin. I used to be your student, but this time I get to pull rank and order you around."

Jiraiya snorted in exasperation. "I took a dumb kid like you as my apprentice? I must have the worst luck, only second to Tsunade; neither of my apprentices turned out to be fellow perverts."

It was Naruto's turn to snort. "Be glad. If we were, we'd steal all the women and you wouldn't get any action or research."

Jiraiya glared.

The two shared several minutes of comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's company.

"You seem close to Minato."

"He's my father," Naruto mumbled, "And he wouldn't leave me alone."

"Your father?" Jiraiya burst out laughing, thumping the arm of his chair with a heavy hand. "This is gold! I almost feel sorry for him."

Naruto looked affronted. "What? I might not see this Minato as my dad, but I'm sure I can be a great son!"

"That's not it," the large man took gulps of air. If my intuition is right, Minato likes you, even if he doesn't realize it yet. "Nevermind, Naruto. Nevermind. You'll find out sooner or later." That boy never lacked courage and determination.

Jiraiya changed the topic immediately.

"So Sarutobi-sensei tells me there's a war coming our way and that you're working to reduce the damage to Konoha. What have you got?"

Naruto shot him a final glare before shifting into half Akashiori and half Haikage. Jiraiya noted the change in demeanor with interest. "I have formed alliances with Waterfall, northern Rain, Sunagakure, and several smaller shinobi villages in the west. They have agreed to refrain from participating in skirmishes unless absolutely necessary. We also have confirmed a handful of villages in armed neutrality. I have Kage Bunshin scattered around the western villages and territories as lookouts to report any suspicious activities. Earth Country was slightly more difficult to infiltrate since they have already begun preparations for war – or at least for battle."

Akashiori frowned. "I am afraid my actions over the past eight and a half months may have hastened Iwa's plans. I have been slowly chipping away at their capital and monetary inflow. With the quarterly financial reports being compiled at this time, they have probably noticed the drop in exports as well as the many trade contracts which were not renewed. I can only hope this will extend the time necessary for preparations and delay their attacks."

Jiraiya whistled his regard. "You've been a busy little ant."

The Hunter-nin gave the man a flat look. "This is war, Jiraiya. If I could, I would put a stop to this entire affair. However, it is impossible to halt Iwa in its path, short of starting a civil war. I have been planting criminalizing evidence against the Tsuchikage and Iwa Council, but there may not be time to create enough political strife before Iwa initiates the world war."

"What can I do to help?"

"I need you to establish yourself in Kusa in the pretense of gathering research material for your next Icha Icha book." Akashiori grimaced at his own idea. "In my Past, Icha Icha had the power to end a war. I believe publishing one can kill three birds with one stone. You will be able to move around freely to monitor Kusa activities, reduce the citizens' productivity, and increase monetary outflow from the Kusa economy. Money is the main driver of the world, and it is the focus of my plan to reduce the severity of this war."

"Have you considered assassinating the Tsuchikage or Iwa Council members?"

"I have. However, it is too early to do so. There needs to be more political turmoil in Iwa. Otherwise, suspicion will befall Konoha or one of our allies instead of an internal party." Akashiori sighed. "That is my progress up to this point. My next move is to deal with our internal politics and Hanzou," he almost snarled the last word.

The Toad Sage didn't comment. He had been told of Naruto's imprisonment and his mental fragmentation, but he had little knowledge on psychology to be of any help.

"If you can, I want you to head out for Kusa within two weeks. In the meantime, I would like to experiment with the toad summons." The blonde's demeanor shifted again, returning to the easygoing Uzuhara Naruto. Tension in the room dissipated with the shift.

Jiraiya nodded his assent. With the talk of war complete, his shoulders relaxed and an impish grin returned to his face. "So tell me about Minato."

Naruto looked at Jiraiya quizzically. "Why?"

"Ohhhh, I just want to know what you think of your father."

"Hmm, like I said, I don't really think of this Minato as my dad. But he's awesome!" Naruto said excitedly. He told Jiraiya about all the things they had done together, how Minato had been supportive throughout all his mental and emotional issues, and what he had taught the time traveler in the Ninja Arts. Jiraiya watched the younger man fondly, affection and protectiveness filling him even though they had only met half a day ago. Could this be the Child of the Prophesy? He had thought it was Nagato or Minato, but he immediately recognized that Naruto was special, not because of a kekkei genkai or genius of the mind but because of his natural ability to change people for the better. The coming revolution that the Great Toad Sage had predicted of was a major change to the ninja world, and Naruto seemed to have all the qualities to bring about the world's salvation.

They talked for what felt like hours. When Naruto's eyelids dropped shut and head slumped to the side, Jiraiya realized that under all that responsibility and troubled past, he was just a boy with a heart of gold who craved acknowledgement.

The Toad Sage looked around the hotel room wondering what he should do with the boy. He summoned a toad and hesitated for a moment before sending it off to Minato. The ANBU Captain was sure to misunderstand…

Seconds later, Minato appeared in front of Jiraiya in a flash of yellow. Whoa, that was fast!

As soon as Naruto's unconscious form entered Minato's view, he snapped his head to his teacher. "What did you do to him?" Minato demanded.

"Brat! Just because he's here doesn't mean I did anything," Jiraiya defended with raised hands.

Minato narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He stepped over to the bed to look down at the Hunter-nin sleeping peacefully against the headboard and reached out a gentle hand to brush aside golden bangs. He carefully gathered his friend into his arms, whispered a quick thank you before flashing away.

Still lounging back in the chair, Jiraiya scratched his bald head. 'Where did I go wrong,' the greatest skirt chaser in history lamented. 'On top of not being a pervert, my apprentice is attracted to men…'

"I think I need a drink and get laid," Jiraiya muttered to the empty room.

A week later, Naruto found himself huddled behind a bush, carefully hidden from view and bored out of his mind. He'd exhausted all of his chakra manipulation training, learned the theory behind the jutsu scrolls he'd brought, and lost two games of shōgi to Kyuubi in his mindscape.

Twenty seven feet away, behind the window, Uzumaki Kushina sat on her couch watching some girly TV show. How could someone so energetic be so boring?

'You know the fault is yours, kit,' Kyuubi interrupted his thoughts. 'She is feeling out of sorts because of your proximity.'

'I know, but couldn't she do something else, like train? Or at least watch a better show than The Ninja Bachelorette? It's disturbing!'

'Not everyone is obsessed with getting stronger.'

'I'm not obsessed. I'm diligent.'

Kyuubi's silence transmitted his skepticism.

'Anyway, how far along are we in breaking the connection? It's been a month of constant stalking. I don't think I could stand another day of this.' He batted away several insects attempting to crawl up his shirt and standard issue shinobi pants.

'You are in luck. I can feel that we will finish absorbing all of my residual chakra in her seal either today or during the next session. You will need to be prepared for the severance. I cannot predict what will happen when the process is complete.'

'You don't know?'

Kyuubi growled. 'Of course I don't know. I have never before been in this situation.'

'Right…'

Several hours later, Naruto was dozing behind the same bush while his mother ate ice cream from a large tub. Damn, he wanted some ice cream too.

Suddenly, his body was doused in pain. It felt like his limbs were being pulled apart in four directions, like his consciousness was being flattened and stretched close to breaking point. The pain continued to grow as he lost his sense of what was up and down.

It took all of his power to dull his scream into a moan. Kyuubi howled within him, suffering even more than his host as his very chakra twisted and stretched beyond comprehension. Naruto vaguely heard a scream in the background, barely recognizing its source.

Mom…

An intense spike of pain burst through him, and abruptly it was gone with a sharp, snapping sensation. He lay boneless on the ground, only managing to take shallow breaths by the will of that tiny sliver of conscious thought which had survived the ordeal.

'K-Kyuu?'

The responding groan was almost too weak to hear.

'I'm guessing that was the severance?'

A grunt came with a little more strength.

'It kind of felt like a rubber band snapping.'

They didn't move for another several minutes until Naruto lurched to sit up. "Shit, mom!" Ignoring the ache, he whipped around to look through the window. He saw that she had fallen off of the couch on her back, body twitching and hair a tangled mess as if she had been convulsing violently.

Naruto crawled several feet, then shakily stood to stumble over. He cut out a large piece of the window with fingers covered in unsteady chakra and tumbled inside. It was now time for him to put his deception techniques to work by pretending he didn't feel like he'd been fried by a lightning jutsu.

"Mom, mo–…Uzumaki-san." He hesitantly touched her shoulder, only then realizing the usual tug in his stomach was gone.

Naruto almost hyperventilated there. He was touching his mother. He was finally touching his mother!

The woman didn't move until he shook her gently. A soft moan signaled her return to consciousness and her eyes blinked opened. They were a beautiful deep blue.

"…Minato?"

"Um… I'm not Minato."

"Then who…?" Kushina asked weakly.

"I'm Uzuma– Uzuhara Naruto. I heard a scream from inside and saw you convulsing."

"Uzuhara? Uzuhara…" Kushina's lips pursed. "And you thought it was okay to break into my home?" She demanded.

"You were collapsed on the floor," he explained.

"Who said you could come in?" She asked fiercely.

"Wha…? I was worried!" Naruto replied just as hotly.

"That's no excuse!"

"Are you crazy?" Naruto stared at her incredulously. "Yeah, it's not an excuse; it's a legit reason!"

"How do I know you're not a thief or murderer?"

Naruto gaped. "If I was, I'd have already left or killed you!"

"You bastard, what gives you the right to shout at me?"

"You started it!"

The two glared at each other in an angry staring contest. Neither gave in, knowing instinctively that the first to look away would forever be the underling.

A soft cough sounded to their side.

Both Naruto and Kushina redirected their glares to the offending person. "What!"

Jaguar stood outside the window with his head tilted to the side quizzically. Naruto was sure the man was smiling underneath his mask.

"I felt an enormous spike in chakra in this area and came to investigate," the ANBU said calmly. "Is everything alright?"

Naruto turned his head to Kushina.

"What are you looking at me for? I'm fine."

"You're the one lying on the ground, looking like you'd just gone through the blender."

Kushina huffed. "I'm fine," she said even as she winced when her body twitched again.

"Fine, my ass," Naruto snorted.

"Then get me on the couch and get Minato," she demanded. "I know who you are. Minato won't stop talking about you. He goes on and on. Naruto this, and Naruto that."

The blonde growled. "Fine. ANBU-san, can you watch her until I get back?"

"Hey, teme! Aren't you going to put me on the couch?"

"No, baka. You can crawl up on your own." Naruto glared as he climbed back out the window. "ANBU-san, don't move her. She can do it herself."

Then he disappeared in a loud, angry shunshin.

Several awkward minutes later, he was back with Minato in tow.

"Minato, can you help me up? Your friend wouldn't listen to me."

Minato frowned as he placed her on the couch. "Naruto, can you tell me what happened?"

Kushina glared. "Why are you asking him?"

"Oh, right. Kushina, what happened?" Minato corrected himself.

She told him, making sure to add the part about Naruto's break-in.

Naruto huffed. "Yes, I broke in. But I was worried. Anyone would have done the same."

"Kushina…calm down," Minato said gently. "I'm sure he was only trying to help."

After a few moments of silence, she gave in grudgingly. "Sorry, Uzuhara-san. I must be in a bad mood from what just happened. Thanks for coming to my rescue. Even if you didn't really do anything," Kushina whispered the last comment under her breath.

'Kyuu, is my mom really this rude?' Naruto asked.

'She could be, but very rarely and not often to this degree. Typically, she only acts this way to people who have wronged her severely or towards enemy shinobi.'

'But I just met her! How could I have done anything wrong?' Naruto asked incredulously.

'You have stolen much of Minato's time from her.'

'What? That's it? It's not like I was doing it on purpose.'

'She feels…' Kyuubi sighed, suddenly feeling an odd kinship with Jiraiya. 'Nevermind, you will find out sooner or later.'

'Just know that she will calm down within the next five years. Although you have lost much of your childhood gusto, your personalities still share enough similarities to clash.'

Naruto groaned. 'So basically, my mom acts towards me like I did towards Sasuke…'

'…Yes, that is an apt way of phrasing it.'

Naruto watched Jaguar perform a medical diagnosis on her. "Namikaze-san, I don't see anything wrong. Uzumaki-san is in perfect health."

"Do you still hurt anywhere?" Minato asked.

"Not anymore. I want your friend to fix my window."

Naruto rolled his eyes and picked up the glass without comment. Using his chakra which had restabilized its flow, he melded the piece back into the window.

"There," he sighed.

"Thank you," Kushina replied curtly.

Minato looked helplessly between his two irritated friends, finally seeing the truth to Naruto's claim about emitting 'anti-girl pheromones.'

"Since you're okay now, we'll be going." Minato slung his arm over Naruto's shoulders. "I've been looking for this guy all day." Turning to the smaller blonde, he spoke enthusiastically. "I found an cool jutsu you might be interested in."

'Ouch…that is adding insult to injury.' Kyuubi chuckled. 'Kushina will not take this lying down.'

Naruto groaned inwardly.

"Can I see it too?" She asked sweetly.

Minato had no concrete reason to reject her request, but anxiety grew within him as he watched her eyeing Naruto suspiciously. He feared an explosion going off sometime soon, especially from Kushina's fiery side.

After Jaguar left, the three pored over Minato's katon jutsu scroll. Or attempted to.

"So, Uzuhara-kun, what do you do?"

"Uhh, I'm a Tokubetsu Jounin."

"What division?"

"Infiltration and Reconnaissance."

"Interesting, so you're good at tricking people?"

"I guess yeah. I'd have to be for my work."

"I see… How did you two meet?"

"Minato helped me out a lot a few months ago. He was also my Shinobi Assessment combat opponent."

"I bet you got your ass handed to you."

"We tied."

"No way, I don't believe you."

"I'm not lying!"

"If you're so good, why haven't I seen you around before?"

"I was away on a long-term mission."

"What about Academy? You're a year younger so we should have passed each other at some point."

"I studied on my own and did not enroll."

"Didn't enroll? Or did you fail?"

"Kushina! Why are you–"

"I chose not to enroll due to extenuating circumstances."

Minato whipped around with wide eyes. This wasn't Naruto anymore; Kushina had triggered Akashiori to the surface.

"Kushina, that's enough," Minato snapped.

"Uzumaki-san, I will take my leave. I sincerely apologize for disrupting your evening." The Hunter-nin stood gracefully. "Minato, I am being dispatched for a mission tomorrow morning and must begin preparations. I will hopefully return in a month."

After a respectful nod of his head, he vanished without sound or smoke.

"Hmph! What a jerk."

Minato turned to Kushina evenly, but his eyes flashed with fury. "No, you were the jerk. I don't know what's gotten into you, but the way you acted was uncalled for."

"How can you trust him? He just pops out of nowhere and befriends you."

"I'm the one who befriended him. Naruto's the most kind-hearted, trustworthy, and loyal person I've ever met," he defended. "You don't know what he's gone through for this village, and I won't tolerate anyone slandering him."

"And what about me? What about what I've gone through for this village? Did you forget my little tenant?"

"I know for a fact that his hardships are many times worse than yours."

Mouth dropping open, angry tears collected in the corners of her eyes. "…Minato, you clueless idiot!" She stormed out of the room.

The ANBU Captain was at a loss. He'd never seen the redhead so hostile towards someone before. He didn't know what to do in this situation or which problem to fix first. Hell, he didn't even know what went wrong! Kushina had suddenly attacked Naruto, who had held himself back from attacking her back. Minato knew Naruto had been angry from how he switched to Akashiori for control over his emotions.

Women are impossible to figure out.

He activated the Hiraishin seal he had convinced Naruto to leave on the back of his neck, but as he was about to exit the dimensional void, he smacked into an invisible wall, tossing him onto the floor in the hall outside of Naruto's room. What the…

Moments later, the door opened. Naruto leaned against the wall just inside the door frame and crossed his arms, an amused smirk forming on his lips.

"Why, hello, dear friend. Find anything interesting down there?" He teased.

"What was that?" Minato asked as he picked himself off the ground.

"My seals trump yours," Naruto replied proudly.

"Seals? In your room?"

The younger blonde chuckled. "Do you want to come in?"

"Can I really?"

"You'll be the second visitor, after Sandaime-Jijii."

A burst of happiness rushed through the Captain. Naruto trusted him enough to share another private part of himself.

"I'll key your chakra signature in." Naruto opened his door invitingly and expertly scratched intricate symbols onto the frame. "Careful. It'll feel weird."

As Minato crossed the line of the door frame, vertigo hit him for an instant. The feeling passed once he was completely inside.

"Take off your shoes. Welcome to my humble abode."

Minato swept his eyes around the room which had a floor plan that was a mirror image of his own. Naruto had plants in every corner and at least one on every elevated surface. The bed was messily made, and scrolls and notebooks filled the bookcase. The desk was also littered with half completed seal tags, ink, and various writing utensils.

"Are those seals on the walls?" He walked over to study one.

"Yup, my best privacy seals embedded with traps and defense mechanisms that respond to ill or dubious intent," Naruto explained. "The fact that you aren't incapacitated or unconscious right now shows you're friendly."

"These are brilliant. And they're keyed to certain chakra signatures?"

"Only you, me, and Jijii can get in this room unless the intruder knocks down the entire wall, which I've also reinforced with seals." Naruto gestured for the other over to sit on the bed. Once they were settled comfortably next to each other, Minato glanced at Naruto apologetically.

"Sorry about Kushina. I don't know why she…"

Naruto shrugged. "It's alright. I'm over it. I'm sure she has her reasons. We both seem to get riled up really easily, so a fight breaking out will probably be a common occurrence."

Minato frowned but dropped the subject when Naruto bumped shoulders reassuringly.

"What's your mission tomorrow?"

"Iwa," Naruto exhaled deeply. "I'm going to steal a few important documents and plant a few lies about conspiracies."

"You're going alone?"

"Yeah. A one week trip each way and two weeks sneaking around."

Minato stamped down the urge to object; this was an important mission – one which, out of the Kage Kaigi team, Naruto was best suited to complete.

"I'm coming to get you if we don't hear from you every few days. Don't you dare get rid of my Hiraishin seal on your neck."

"Stop mollycoddling me." Naruto complained, though secretly pleased by the attention. "Does it even work over such a long distance?"

"I'm not sure, but that won't keep me from trying."

The Hunter-nin hung his head in resignation. "Do whatever you want. I doubt I could stop you."

Minato grinned in triumph and roughly ruffled Naruto's hair. "That's right, Naru-chan. Get used to it." An arm naturally found its usual place over Naruto's shoulders. Naruto grumbled at the nickname, wondering when he had stopped seriously protesting it.

Naruto snorted inwardly. It was futile to protest anything Minato did; the man would just repeat the action until you either surrendered or began liking it.

Like the fingers running gently through his hair. He couldn't help the sigh of content that escaped his traitorous lips. Was Minato channeling chakra through those fingers? They were soft and soothing, so much so that he leaned into the touch despite the proud corner of his mind barking at him to shape up.

He hummed blissfully when Minato's warm chakra washed over his body.

"Mmmm…feels good…" He mumbled tiredly.

Minato studied those half-lidded azure eyes with a smile. It was precious times like this when he forgot that Naruto was a jaded Hunter-nin and competent leader. The younger blonde was rarely off guard even if he acted shocked or clumsy, but there were more and more moments between them where he revealed his adorable, unguarded side.

Minato's smile widened when Naruto scrunched his nose endearingly and rubbed his eyes.

"Mina…"

Minato replied by burying his face into Naruto's messy hair.

"I…alarm clock…seven…"

"I've got it," Minato answered, reaching over to set the alarm before shifting closer to the smaller blonde. "Do you want to get under the covers?"

Absently, Naruto pouted in displeasure at the suggestion and shook his head slowly. He raised languid arms to wrap loosely around Minato's waist, holding him in place. Minato chuckled softly and caressed Naruto's sensitive whisker scars with a feather-light touch, delighting in the shiver which ran through the smaller blonde.

"Naru-chan, you're unbelievably cute…" Minato whispered.

Naruto growled weakly and tightened his arms. "…'m not cute."

Minato gently spread chakra from his finger to Naruto's sensitive cheek, watching curiously for his reaction. Naruto shivered again, then sighed contentedly and responded with a little nudge of his own wild chakra.

"Not fair...chakra warm," Naruto almost purred, cheeks heating up as soon as he uttered those words.

'I know, Naruto,' Minato thought with a mental smirk, 'but I never knew I was a tease.'

He felt Naruto's breaths even out and held the precious bundle protectively – or was it possessively – through the night.

The sun shone through a thin break in the grimy curtains as Akashiori woke for his fifth day in Iwa. On the first day of his infiltration, he had picked out a jerk of a jounin called Hagetaka to study. By the third day of his observation, he was disgusted by how much of an asshole the guy was, but the jounin was placed relatively high in the ranks; he had access to the Tsuchikage's command center as well as the civilian police. And because the man was so foul, many of his colleagues took extra care to avoid him.

Perfect.

Akashiori killed the man without remorse and placed a long-lasting henge on himself with his repaired henge seal tattoos. He moved into Hagetaka's disgusting apartment and took over his job outlined on a messy schedule taped to the refrigerator. The only hard part was acting like a douche. He really felt terrible for the people he had to insult, inwardly wincing at each tearful apology and hateful glare he received. How the hell did the guy live like this?

Akashiori/Hagetaka stomped arrogantly through the Tsuchikage Tower's halls, heading for the archives. Once he managed to slip inside, he headed for the financial records. Skimming quickly through the last three years, he noted that the budget for shinobi affairs had escalated two years ago. He would need to acquire a copy of inventory records, the shinobi training curriculum, and roster of Iwa's active shinobi as well.

The Hunter-nin used a variant of the Shuriken Kage Bunshin no Jutsu to create physical clone copies of the documents which he would transfer to real paper later on. It was time to return to insulting people. Later that night, he would visit civilian bars under nondescript disguises to gauge reactions to the controversial information he had planted and maybe start several rumors about a political opposition gathering support in the shadows.

As the second week of his Iwa infiltration – third week of his mission – began, homesickness hit him like a ton of bricks. He sent Shiro to Sandaime-Jijii and Minato every two days to give updates and pass on documents, but something inside him was urging him to return to Konoha.

His Naruto persona missed spending time with Minato and the old man and Kakashi and maybe even Sakumo. He missed passing Iruka and Ibiki and others on the streets. He missed seeing Ichiraku's Teuchi doting on baby Ayame and Uchiha Mikoto proudly pregnant with Itachi.

He really missed Konoha as a whole.

Akashiori threw himself into his mission. He collected legitimate dirt on the Iwa council members, secretly donated money and the incriminating information to the opposition, caused one of the key war strategists to commit suicide (assassinated her), sabotaged several shipments of explosive tags and containment scrolls, and won large amounts of money from several casinos. And this was all done right under the Iwa ANBU's noses.

It was time to pull out.

He trashed Hagetaka's apartment, set the man's decaying body on fire in the bedroom, and wrote derogatory messages on the walls and door. The result looked like a murder by someone who hated Hagetaka's guts and wanted revenge for years of suffering the man put the culprit through.

Relieved at finally begin able to go home, Akashiori snuck out of the village walls in the form of a common eagle. Several miles away, he landed behind a rocky landform to transform back into a casual traveling shinobi, stretching out his sore arms and trying not to ruffle his non-existent feathers.

However useful, he hated flying as a bird. Someday, he was going to figure out how shinobi from the Land of the Sky flew with chakra.

Three days of careful maneuvering later, just before arriving at the Earth Country and Waterfall border, the Konoha Hunter-nin sensed a shinobi approaching rapidly.

Shit, Iwa Hunter-nin.

Akashiori decreased his chakra output to that of a chuunin. He didn't bother speeding up; that would only prolong the chase and expose his skills to the enemy who would end up reporting back to his Commander. It was best to take care of the guy once and for all.

The Iwa ninja flashed in front of Akashiori, kunai in both hands.

"Foreigner, identify yourself," the Iwa Hunter-nin orderd with no emotion in his voice and dead eyes.

Akashiori frowned. It seemed Hunter-nin everywhere were the same, tortured souls.

"I'm a simple, travelin' ninja," he answered, switching his formal speech to a coarse drawl and gesturing offhandedly to his bulging bag.

"Which village are you affiliated with?"

"Pfft, who wants ta belong ta some dumb village? I'm a free soul!"

The Iwa-nin shifted awkwardly. "What is your business in Earth Country?"

"Duh, I'm travelin'." The traveler rolled his eyes. "Seein' the sights, tastin' the food, sleepin' under the stars – ya know, travelin' stuff."

"I will need to search your bag."

"Wha! But I didn' do anythin'," the traveler exclaimed. "I ain't causin' trouble so lemme go."

"If you resist, I will eliminate you."

"Bastard, what's your problem. Ya got some long stick up your ass."

The Iwa-nin tightened his grip on his kunai. In a blur of movement, he was in front of the trespasser, slicing his neck with a kunai. The head fell to the ground with a disturbing thud.

Then the head and body burst into water.

Water clone! The Iwa-nin jumped back instantly, his eyes flickering side to side in search of the real body.

"Suiton: Mizurappa (Water Trumpet)!"

With a loud roar, the traveler shot a large jet of water through his hand. The masked shinobi leapt aside, retaliating with chakra enforced shuriken.

"So you are from Water Country," the Iwa-nin stated while watching his opponent dodge the throwing stars.

Akashiori snorted in his mind at the wrong assumption. "That's right, but it was damn boring there. Water everywhere. I ain't goin' back!"

"You are correct, foreigner. You will die here today."

"Doton: Kengan no Jutsu (Fist Rock Technique)."

An arm encased in rock flew at Akashiori, just missing his right thigh. The traveler snapped his hand to extend a whip formed by water. 'Suiton: Suiben' was a technique known to Kirigakure hunter-nin, and Akashiori wrapped it around the Iwa-nin deftly, trapping him in the air to prevent him from escaping into the ground.

"Raiton: Jibashi (Electromagnetic Murder)!"

Without missing a beat, he channeled waves of lightening through the whip to shock the Iwa-nin. It was the same jutsu Naruto had used on Minato during his first Combat Assessment, but this time he held the jutsu for an entire minute.

As soon as Akashiori released the jutsu, the Iwa Hunter-nin crumbled to the ground.

"Doton: Domu (Earth Spear)…"

The masked shinobi muttered, causing chakra to flow through his body and harden his skin to increase his defensive power.

Akashiori tutted. "Are you a rookie? That jutsu is weak against Raiton, and I just fried you with a lightning attack."

"Y-you are more than a simple traveler."

"Finally figured that out? You're a little slow. There's a move I've been itching to try out in a real battle."

"Raiton: Kuropansa (Black Panther)!"

Black lightning in the form of a panther charged at the downed Iwa-nin, electrocuting him with potent electricity. A final scream tore out of the Hunter-nin, and he slumped to the ground never to move again.

Akashiori sighed in disappointment. "Too easy." He spread his chakra over a one mile radius to sense any escaping audience members, but when he felt nothing, he looked down at the crackling corpse and snapped his fingers. The body burst into Black Fire, and after several moments, only ashes remained.

"Doton: Doryuu Taiga (Earth Flow River)."

He transformed the scorched ground underneath the ashes into mud, erasing any evidence of the Konoha Hunter-nin Corps' secret fire technique. The battle ground looked like the aftermath of a fight between an Iwa shinobi and a Kumo or Kiri shinobi.

Satisfied, Akashiori resumed his travel and finally arrived at Konoha after another four long days of travel. After crossing the wall, Naruto stopped on a rooftop and took a deep breath of the evening air, reveling in the familiar smells. The Konoha-style buildings and the chakra signatures of Konoha shinobi washed away his homesickne…huh? Who the hell is–

"Oomph!"

Someone barreled into him, landing him several feet away on his back. That someone sat on top of him, straddling his hips and grinning down with bright azure eyes and straight white teeth.

"Ughhh…" Naruto groaned at the pain of hitting roof tiles with the weight of a full-grown man on top of him. "Minato, that hurt."

"Welcome home, Naru-chan."

"Are you a dog? Can't you greet me like a normal person?"

Minato's grin widened as he caught sight of a tiny upward twitch on the left corner of stubbornly frowning lips, and although Naruto's face expressed irritation, his eyes were smiling. Minato bent down to set his forehead on Naruto's.

"But that wouldn't show how happy I am to see you."

Naruto sputtered and a light pink dusted his cheeks. "Baka, get off."

Minato climbed off him and helped the embarrassed Hunter-nin to his feet. The ANBU Captain circled the blushing blonde with a critical eye, poking at the rips and scuffs on Naruto's clothing to check for injuries. Naruto looked at his worrywart friend strangely.

"Uhh, remember? I have abnormally fast healing," he pointed out.

Minato faltered, then rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Sorry, I'm just concerned. I know you don't report all if your injuries because of that."

"…thanks," Naruto smiled gratefully, still trying to adjust to having so much attention showered on him. "Thanks for caring. It's good to be back." He gave one of Minato's golden eartails a shy tug before snatching his hand back.

Minato quirked his lips in amusement. "Are you reporting to Hokage-sama now?"

"No, Jijii's letting me rest first. I already gave him everything through Shiro, so all I need to do is write the formal report," Naruto replied, rolling his fatigued shoulders.

"I really missed this village," he confessed quietly. Then he turned to Minato and gave him a foxy grin. "I'm also really hungry. You're treating me to Ichiraku!"