Ch.9:

♦︎ Opening up ♦︎

Ena



(I) was sitting in the school's backyard while crocheting and gazing at the people around me , my mind lost in a thoughtful haze.It's been 2 days now. Two days since I last saw Dave.

For some reason, today I didn't want to torture myself by remembering what I already knew of the truth . He gave up on me . He put an end to something that hadn't even started yet. I knew I may have gone too far by putting all my desperate hopes on his shoulders, but ... I sighed out of weariness, tucking some annoying strand off hair away.

I didn't have it in me anymore to even feel anything. Neither anger nor sadnesss. I felt like I was just waiting. Waiting for someone to save me from myself. Like always.

Of course, I had Lydia. Sweet, kind Lydia who probably stayed because she didn't want me to die out of need for human warmth.

"Hey Ena , what's up ? Ouch- would you be carefu- no way ! Is that you ?!" I turned around at the sound of my name among other suspicious expressions, but I saw no one behind me. I let my gaze linger a little longer before giving up and going back to my crochet work.

〜♦︎〜

Lydia

"Hey ! what are you doing? let me go !" I whispered loudly , what was wrong with him ?

"Shshh don't make any noise I don't want her to see me yet."

"WHAT ?!" I screamed utterly abashed . I mean he disappeared for how many days whereas he's been hiding like a coward and he wants me to keep this to myself ? Neva.

Dave face palmed himself out of major annoyance towards me . I couldn't care less. I looked at him my eyes glazed with fury. It didn't take too long for scalding thoughts to reach my tongue. I gave out a snort in disappointment, while shaking my head.

" I can't believe you only decided to show up so long after she needed you the most!" Before he could even counter me , I added :

"You know my anger is not so much about you being afraid of her . I'm mad because you didn't have enough courage to act on that fear and actually fight it ." I said crossing my arms. I expected some kind of outburst from him or any indignation from his part that I dared judge him while I barely knew him. But he only hung his head.

"You're right ." He a sad smile on his face. As I stared closely , a flash of shame and regret went through his eyes. He didn't say anything more and turned on his heel to head towards Ena. I felt a little shocked by his answer and the fact that he didn't try to belittle me with a snide remark or a mean comeback . His words unnerved me and woke up in me suspicions that maybe they held more meaning to them then him just agreeing with me.

I after a while of pondering with no success , I took off after him.

"Hey ! How dare you leave me behind like that ?"

〜♦︎〜

Ena

I turned my head around at the sound of footsteps , and my eyes widened at the sight of him. Is he really here ?

I abruptly stood up and had my crochet work fall to the ground. This got me to moan in disappointment at the sight of yarn getting tangled in dirt. When I meant to pick it up he beat me to it and handed it in a gentlemanly gesture.

"Sorry, I surprised you." He said sheepishly scrapping at his neck. I gave a small smile in return.

"No it's fine. I'm happy you're here already so it's fine." This must have got him from his embarrassment as he gave me a handsome smile.

"But you know whenever you don't feel like staying you can always quit.I mean if it gets too hard." I let the words trail as I figured he would understand. I didn't want him to feel committed to something that wasn't his to go through, I didn't want him to fight beside a broken soldier. What were his chances to survive? I stared in his eyes to gauge his reaction but he didn't say anything. His expression looked strained as if going on an internal battle. My glance drifted to his fist which was clenched.

I closed my eyes to brace myself for the impact of words that might crush me again. Words of rejection.

Instead I heard something click in front of my face.

"Umm hello? What's going on here are we in a stop motion or what?" I opened my eyes to find Lydia clicking her fingers in front of me in an attempt to wake me up.

"You always cut in the wrong moment don't you ?" Dave scorned her nearby.

"What wrong moment ? it's not like you were going to confess your cowardice to her anyways." Lydia stated as she rolled her eyes. Dave started fuming.

"What's wrong with you and always trying to debase me like that?!"

"Well if you were more daring and less closed off from what I've seen of you, maybe I would stop humiliating and actually consider you. Maybe." Lydia announced as she folded her arms. I didn't like how things were turning out right now.

"Guys..." I tried to reason with them.

"Then would you stop being selfish and let me explain myself? I had my reasons you know."

"Then you're unlucky because for me its fail once and no trusting forever." Lydia muttered, drooping her eyelids.

"Well I'm glad you feel this way because I don't ever want to have anything to do with you." Dave said in a final tone, but as if finally realizing my silence, I heard his footsteps nearing to me, as I was staring at the ground . I heard a little shuffling as he sat to my side. Then I smelled a lavender scent before hearing Lydia settle to my other side.

I lifted my head and shuffled my gaze from left to right at them from surprise before setting my gaze back down to my lap. We all fell silent for some moment. Then Dave spoke up :

"I can't answer you yet Ena , on what you just said about going if it gets too hard. I can't probably say anything any sooner." This time Lydia didn't interject, she kept her eyes trained in front of her, pressing her lips into a straight line. I couldn't imagine what was going through her head now. Maybe because I don't know her enough ?

"I assume time will give me my answer later on." he continued, leaving me confused about what he meant.

"Does this mean you're staying ?" I asked incredulously. Why would he be so willing? But I kept this question to myself afraid I might prode him into changing his mind. Yes I wanted to protect him and everyone else around me from whatever danger was hiding inside of my body, but I still wanted him around after all. He just shrugged in response.

"What do you think?" He said in a lop-sided smirk. I looked at Lydia seeking her opinion. She looked back with a kind smile.

"I don't care as long as he acts responsible and you don't mind him. I'm not here for him. I'm here for you." I felt my eyes watering but I blinked back my tears, feeling ashamed that she should see me crying again. For some reasons, it mattered to me that I didn't appear fragile in front of them. Besides every single time that happened it was because of circumstances that were out of my control. So I didn't want them to constantly see me as some fragile porcelain, threatening to break at every wisp of wind, always teetering on the edge. So I smiled gratefully to them, a small smile.

Lydia then, let out a frustrated grunt.

"Oww, enough mulling over sad stuffs. Let's go ahead and do something fun!" she exclaimed clapping her hand in enthusiasm.

"Like what?" Dave asked, out of ideas.

"Well we are at school, on lunchtime and we are basically bored out of our minds-"

"Talk for yourself ." Dave interrupted.

" -Aaand, since you guys can get away with skipping school and I'm basically associated with you now anyways, it means I too will come off clean if we decided to do something." she said her eyes glinting mischievously.

"What are you getting at ? But anyways I knew you were only in for the benefits." Dave asked voicing my thoughts, except the last sentence.

"What I'm trying to say is let's go eat something!" she enthused.

~ ♦︎~

We were sitting at our table while waiting for our orders to arrive.

"So Dave you being your gentlemanly self, you will surely pay for us won't you ?" Lydia said mockingly while checking for his reaction. Dave just fished into his pocket muttering something under his breath.

"Can we just forget about gender roles here for a moment? Because I only have a pay for two." he said half-heartedly.

"Liar, I can see it in your eyes, I can literally see green bucks signs in them."

"That's just probably the colour of my eyes."

"You mean the money is the color?"

"Yes, the money. No the green you idiot!" Lydia burst out laughing, happy that she got under his skin. I was watching their banter, amused, as I sipped on my apple juice. They already started warming up to each other and that was conforting. I felt in this moment that I actually found people that I can trust with my life; that is to say I trusted them enough now from how they hung on to me after all they had seen already. This gave me confidence that I can trust them with my secrets.

Just then a thought crossed my mind. The diary. That's right, how was I going to go about finding it? But just why a diary ?and I didn't even know where to start from and The thing - which I suspected was something alive in me-  gave me no clues about it except the last dream I had of it.

The one where I remembered searching it for grandma, and then Mother came at me angry that I was probably going to play with it. I creased my brows in concentration. This dream was a memory deeply engraved in my brain, one of the few I struggled to remember. Times of long gone peace. Though why did I remember this particular one ?

And where could I find it for God's sake ?

"What's wrong Ena? You look quiet thoughtful." Lydia remarked from my side, thus clearing my thoughts. I gave a fleeting smile.

"I was just thinking about something important."

"Well I figured that much after you zoned out of our conversation. Which I remarked you do quiet a lot." I just nodded in agreement.

"Well are you going to tell us about it ?" She asked expectantly. Feeling suddenly overwhelmed by the thought of exposing myself to them yet again, I subconsciously started munching on my bracelet. I guess it's still hard for me to open up spontaneously.

"Hit her hand away from her mouth." Dave suggested as Lydia complied.

"Hey!" I exclaimed in indignation, surprised that Lydia actually obeyed him.

"Sorry but I had no choice. That looked kind of messy. But I have a feeling it's from hunger ." Lydia said somehow justifying herself.

"By the way Dave how long do you think it will be before they bring us our food ?" she asked Dave changing the topic much to my relief. Though I spotted Dave with a doubtful look before I hurriedly reached for my juice.

Just then the waiter came and put our plates in front us. We took to eating in silence, enjoying our meal.

After some time , I felt an intense stare burning through my forehead. I lifted my head in time to meet Lydia's eyes. I stared a minute into her eyes before she broke the stare down and turned to Dave.

Pointing to his plate filled with chicken wings and fries, she asked : "You gonna eat that ?" Her eyes glimmering with hope.

Dave protectively pulled his plate closer to him, a scowl on his face.

Then she pointed with a pout to my own plate equally garnished. But I too responded by taking my plate to myself.

She hung her head as if deeply hurt by our refusals.

" You guys are such stingy , gluttonous meanies." She accused us moodily.

Dave took on the task of arguing with her about how wrong she was, just  as my phone rang. Reading Ann on the caller ID , I picked it up.

"Ena , is school over yet or can you just come over and relieve me from my boredom." I heard her beg even before I can answer.

" Well I can't right now , I'm out with friends-"

" Or you can just use your A-list privileges to skip and wait what did you just say ?" The shock was evident in her voice.

"Well um, I said I was just having lunch out with my friends." I said nervously, feeling a little taken aback by her reaction. Truth being she always overreacted.

" Wait did you say friends as in the plural? " it was only now I finally realized my mistake, I thought as I felt myself sweat profusely.

What I feared the most until now was about to happen and I was helping with it.

"Now that you're questioning it I'm kind of unsure of what I've just said too." I said growing gradually confused and anxious about what to do.

Then she made a deafening squeal making me put the phone away from my ear. It was surely loud enough for Lydia and Dave to get distracted from their discussion.

They saw a mixed look of exasperation and shame on my face which was far away from my usually composed demeanor. I looked away, my cheeks feeling hot, and still thankful to the fact that my blush was invisible. Why does she always have to embarrass me even when she's not physically there?

"Hello? Ena are you there? please turn the speaker on. I want to talk to them." It was too late. There was no turning back. I knew there was no use stalling her because this wasn't a request but an order. Still-

" Ann please now's not the time for this-"

" Ena? I'm waiting ." she announced her tone a calm determination , which reminded me that she never ever took a harsh or yelling tone with me. Maybe because Mother filled up that job well.

After a few second - too short- of internal debate I reluctantly turned up the speaker.

" Hey Ena's friends!! How are you babes? I wanted to thank you so much for being a part of Ena's life now and I can't wait to meet you guys, say this afternoon ?" her question hang a few minutes in the air, as I was melting faster then ice cream under the sun from shame. I would assume Dave was completely astonished, seeing as Lydia just burst into laughter. I forgot they -Ann and her- were of the same clan.

" Of course that's totally cool with me. " she affirmed her agreement to the invitation. Dave on the other side, seemed like he was having a hard time recovering.

" Is that your mom ?" he asked unsure of what to think. I shook my head vehemently denying this assumption. I was so sorry for the twins having to deal with her as a mom.

" Was that a boy's voice I heard? Even better! Aww I can't believe my girlie is already stepping into the path of romance. " Lydia's laughter now sounded like she was choking and putting down the phone, I hurriedly reached over to her with a glass of water, animated by the hope of temporarily deviating the attention from myself. Barely.

Dave just shook his head, but accepted her invitation anyway.

"Okay then it's all settled I'll have Lone know, see ya later! Kisses!"

And just like that she wreaked havoc in my life. Over again.

~♦︎~

Barely a few seconds after I rang the bell, the door flung open to reveal Ann in her most sumptuous attire : her favorite blue jeans and a regular long sleeved shirt. If I didn't know better I would think she had been waiting all this while behind the door. I surprised myself with my unusually sharp internal sarcasm of stress.

I was still fidgeting from where I stood hiding her short stance from the others behind me when Lydia squirmed her way inside the house, thus leaving an open gap for Dave to follow suit.

How rude! They didn't even wait for Ann to invite them in. I could have taken this as my chance to convince them to run away !

" Well Ena ? Are you just going to have evening tea with the door porch ?" She asked mockingly with malicious eyes , knowing full well what my hesitancy was about. I shot her an accusing glare.

" Argh ! Come on ! Just enter already I won't act that bad. I promise!" I dubiously looked at her .

" Is Mawa on household chores duty today ?" She nodded.

" Then I'm finished." I said aggravated already and willingly marched into my doom.

~♦︎~

We settled into the backyard, since Ann considered it and I quote 'A lot more enjoyable and relaxing'. I couldn't agree more, seeing as the sunset was painting the horizon dreamy hues of red and orange. The air picked up as a soft breeze, wafting the petunia's scent around and making some of their petals fall , signalling to us the weather of early autumn.

I raked my gaze upon my surroundings, taking in the efforts Ann put into setting the table with her finest tea set and extremely fragile ceramic teapots, the table embellished with her newest Turkish drapes, as if we were actually receiving distinguished personalities.

Upon a thought I realized they really did distinguish themselves from others because they accepted me when everyone else did the contrary.

I looked their way and remarked how Lydia seemed at unease because of the atmosphere of refinement. I could almost read on her forehead her fear of breaking one of the dainty teapots judging from the sweat pearling at her forehead and how she still didn't touch her tea that was already cooling .

Dave, on the other hand and much to my dismay, looked like he was in his element and gracefully took a sip from his tea, his little finger pointed, all the while staring into my eyes. I broke into an involuntary laugh of surprise. This gave Lydia a heads up to look at us from her little bubble of worry, and she finally gave us a small smile.

Ann just then appeared with Lone by her side carrying a tray of cookies and baked mini cakes. Lone was still wearing her school uniform. Which meant that she didn't take the time to perform her ceremonial after-school bath session and change into comfortable clothes. Which meant that she was genuinely and unusually worked up by something she found intriguing. Which meant that I was undeniably screwed. My despair sore into unmatched height when I spotted Mawa walking behind holding hands with the twins trudging beside her. They were probably annoyed that they were torn away from their tv shows.

"Eh, Lord je suis foutue." [I am finished ] My French came up indicating my deep rooted distress.

Soon enough the twins seemed to have spotted us and seemingly more-so Dave as they came rushing towards him abandoning Mawa's hands. Upon reaching us I saw glinting in their eyes expressions of delighted surprise and excitement. With their small height they propped themselves up on their tiptoes and just stared dreamily at Dave.

" Hey mister , are you our Ena's boyfriend now ?" They asked eagerly. I silently sunk into my seat. If I'm going to dive, I might dive in silent dignity. Then he smiled , looking charmed by apparently innocent faces. They were not innocent. They are little conniving smart-pies.

" Well, even though for some reasons everyone keeps pairing us up , no we are not together."

" And I wouldn't allow that to happen." Lydia pipped in.

" I wouldn't either!" Lone agreed , as she hit her hand on the table and menacingly stared at Dave.

" Big sister Lone! Be kind to the mister he's our friend !" the twins said fiercely defending him.

" Avasia and Haina this is adults' talk I forbid you to interfere." Lone answered them back bossily.

" enterf- fair en- ...what ?" Haina stuttered.

" I beg to differ missy but these are my kids to reprimand!" Ann protested.

" With my permission to do so!" Mawa claimed from where she stood, sinking her arms onto my chair from behind. Please , oh please , let Dave have forgotten about me , let them all forget I even existed-

" Mawa please stay out of this I'm serious right now and I need to know what sort of intentions this guy has towards my sister."

" And I'm telling you , Lone, that there's nothing and there won't be anything. Right Ena ?" Lydia asked turning toward me. Ena ? Ena who ? What Ena ? What's an Ena?

My mind was reeling as I felt panick rise through me, I felt lightheaded and so hot right now. Was it maybe one of my fits starting again ? For some reason a feeling of gratefulness washed over me and I almost loved it that my illness would save me from embarrassment.

I felt myself throw my head back as if it were too heavy for me to bear. Then I heard some commotion , coming from afar. Suddenly everything went dark, a beckoning  painless dark pit.

~ ♦︎ ~

" Is she waking up ?"

" Yeah I think so , her eyes are blinking." At the mention of that , I kept my eyes shut.

"No need to fake it Ena, we saw you're awake." It was Mawa's voice forcefully trying to pull me back into a reality I wanted to escape. I didn't think I'd have the courage to face Dave ever again.

But knowing Mawa, I knew I had better get up, and show at least that I was okay. Despite being overbearing and harshly straightforward , I knew my condition affected her as much as the others. But still, even though she knew how hard my fits could get on me, she just wouldn't allow me to get myself weakened by them. Almost as if I didn't have a right to just feel my pain.

I sat up from the couch , and found everyone looking at me with worried eyes. I knew what they were thinking.

" It wasn't one of my fits and you guys should know it," I said pointing to Ann , Mawa and Lone " So it's not today I'm going to go from it." I said gloomily. Then I tucked my knees under my chin and stared off.

I decided to give them the silent treatment for the shame they made me go through. I heard someone sigh among them, then a murmur along the lines of let's go now , as there echoed away retreating feet. When I thought I was left alone, the seat at my side dipped.

" Won't you talk even to me ?" I heard Lone ask. I decided to be stubborn. She sighed.

" -Kay fine , you're right to be mad at me right now. I admit I went a little far.-" I snorted at that.

"Okay I literally went overboard but , really I was worried ." I waited for her to elaborate while feeling her gaze on my head. Still I refused to look back.

" Ena... I don't know if you realize but this whole getting new friends thing concerns me as much as you... and frankly a guy well, a boy can be maybe more trouble than a girl, you know ?" I finally raised my head to look at her , question marks all over my face.

" What I am trying to say is,"- she started with a sad smile on her lips, tugging at my fingers with hers as she would always do when she gets nervous- "if he hurts you , that one feeling might be more painful then anything you've ever felt until now." I thought about how every manifestation of my illness seemed to drive me to the edge of death only to be pulled back forcefully.

" I doubt it. Besides how would you know ? You're only 12 and I don't think you had ever experienced that kind of love before."

"For me any human related love is the same. Be it for family or friends or a special someone. So if what I feel for you , out of attachment, when you go through one of your fits , is anything like this type of love , then it might be painful." She finished as she squeezed my hand gently. I felt myself torn between tears and an overwhelming sense of happiness and security my sister always made me feel.

I couldn't understand how she always managed to find the right thing to say all the time. It almost made me feel useless to her as she was always being there for me. Like I was always taking and giving nothing back in return.

She used her thumb to wipe away my tears.

" I don't like what you're thinking right now."

" Am I that readable ?"

" Don't I know you well enough ?" She said smiling slightly. Then she made herself confortable on the couch, pulling her feet up and snuggling her head into my neck. She still held my hand in hers, opening my enclosed fingers and tracing the lines of my palm. I looked at her doing almost entranced.

" I hate conflict." I suddenly felt the need to say, referring to the dispute they had with Dave. Though she knew that more than anyone else.She didn't answer me back for a moment.Then she said :

"Did you know that you can guess your destiny from the lines of your hand ?"

" Are you into mystics now ?" I asked incredulously. She's usually more of the rational type of person.

"After all that happened , might as well consider these things an option."

" You mean what I did to you ?"

"It wasn't you. I keep telling myself that every single time I stare at you. And the fact that you can still be a crybaby is proof enough that it couldn't be you okay ?" I smiled at her brave words and kissed her hair.

"I love you."

"I know."

"You're idiot for saying that."

"And you're a bigger idiot for not letting me lecture this guy on having good manners with girls." At the mention of Dave , heat crept up my cheek. Lone turned to my side to feel them just as I slapped her hand away.

" I felt that ." She said mockingly referring to my blush. I just puffed in frustration.

"No what you felt was the shame I'm going to be living with for the rest of my life. Thank you for ruining my first ever friendship with a boy."

"Hmm , I wouldn't say he thinks the same but whatever."

"What makes you say that ?" She pointed at the window. I saw Dave conspicuously hiding behind the back window from where he could be seen but couldn't see us. I think Ann had these made for a certain person.

" I wonder how he knew where to watch from. I'm guessing he just discreetly went around the house to try and find a way to spy." I recovered from my surprise and tugged at Lone's hand.

"I think you should talk to him." I suggested feeling a strong need for lone's approval of him. I wasn't sure but I thought that when someone cared enough for you , I mean a friend, they would go at great lengths to make sure you're okay.

" What ? You want me to call him out on spying on us ?"

"No I mean in private . As in for you to make an opinion about him." She blinked a few times before a sly smile appeared on her face.

"Oh ? Now you actually think worthwhile my long affirmed suggestion ?"

" What is it with you and heavy English lately huh ? But for real I care about what you think of him and ... I need to make sure you're happy with the type of people I hang out with."

"To any outsider I would seem like your mom right now. So I'm just going to bask into that fact."

"Let's not forget that doesn't mean you have me wrapped on you finger." She just shrugged in response. Then turned serious.

"Okay. But you know that first impression is not everything to a person's character right ?" I nodded.

"And I want you to know that whatever be your opinion of him , I'm keeping him." I added.

"Look at the little girl growing up all of a sudden!" She cooed puffing her face.

"Idiot , I'm four years older than you." I said rolling my eyes. She nudged me playfully and I broke into a smile. Ah ! Would it that my life be that enjoyable all the time !

~♦︎~

Lone

As I was approaching , I knew he heard my presence from him suddenly looking up to me. I saw him abruptly stand up , as if somehow foreseeing what was going to happen.

Despite putting on my face a calm demeanor it still seemed that he was intimidated. I looked around him and found that everyone had deserted. Was it that Ena told them to scatter away earlier ? She had gone out before me after our chit chat, leaving me to ponder about what I was going to tell him.

Dave.

Strange how he easily made himself a place in Ena's heart . What could have possibly happened that Ena felt safe around him, so much so that she would trust him with her life , her life's secrets ?

I knew my sister better than everyone else. And I obviously knew about her painstaking timidity and awkwardness toward guys. I also knew that it was the hardest thing for her to open up about anything much less her illness and I was perfectly sure that she being her wary self she wouldn't accept them on any other ground unless they saw a manifestation of them and actually stuck around. That meant for her that she could be secure that they would stay by her side no matter what.

That was all good, except that my Ena was naive. She still couldn't understand that no one would accept to undergo any other person's emotional baggage unless they had ulterior motives. No one was that selfless. They had to have some kind of reasons to be here. I loved my sister with unconditional love but that doesn't have to apply to any outsider. And I intended to find out their reasons.

I came to stop in front of him. I looked at him and he looked straight back having seemingly lost his apprehension. I couldn't detect in his gaze any ounce of malice, though I was expecting to. I didn't exactly start off as friendly to him in a first impression. Still his eyes looked determined somehow, from the way his brows where intently brought together. But determined for what ? Even though I was thankful to the observational skills I shared with my sister, I didn't know enough about him to guess beyond this. I broke the stare first.

" I'm sure you must have guessed what went through my head in the few moments I was looking at you even though I made it quiet clear already, and you don't seem like the usual idiot too."

"Your sister would call me a crapiot but , yes I understood from your face that you didn't quiet like me. But I want you to know I'm going to change that."

" Change my impression of you ? Why ? So my sister would appreciate you better ?"

" No." he started as he crossed his arm. He had a mean built not too muscular but not too lanky either. " Why not because I actually want to get to know you. Why not just because I want to be your friend ?"

" Do you seriously think I'm stupid enough to believe that ? That you'll just see my sister go through scary , creepy behavior all of a sudden and just accept her in friendship? Just like that ?" I snapped my finger in emphasis.

I saw flash across his eyes a brief look of fear. I knew it. I knew that he ought to have had some fear , he must have wanted to run away at some point. I have to admit I'm not always strong myself but my love for Ena always brought me back to her . Always. So I couldn't understand him.

It seemed my assertion shut him up because he looked at lost for words. Then his expression turned morose his hand gripping the chair nearby.

" I think it's enough teasing him already." Lydia introduced herself coming from the house. I just crossed my arms in response and narrowed my eyes. Is she coming to his rescue ?

She came to stand near him and put a hand on his , which made him look at her. She gave him a small smile.

" Lone look, I'm sorry but I think you did too much prodding into his intentions already. We both got it that you like your sister very much and you're hellbent on protecting her but we're not the bad guys here." She said gazing at me intently. I remained silent, returning her gaze.

"We want the same thing you want; help her get out of this bad phase or whatever , fits, you name it, but we just want to help that's all. We've seen some good in her and felt that she deserved friendship just like anyone else. We too are outcasts you know ? So why not just be there for each other ?"

I directed my gaze to the ground , reflecting. Lydia's words sounded sincere, yet I couldn't help but pick up a piece that didn't fit quiet right. Maybe I was just paranoid, after spending my whole life staying on guard for my sister. It may be that I'm just not ready yet to share some of that weight with other people. I closed my eyes tightly and pinched the bridge of my nose.

" It's not that hard Lone you know ? To let go." I heard her voice approaching and felt her hand pull my own away from my face. I stared into her brown eyes. She smiled. Suddenly feeling my tiredness overwhelming my being , I felt my eyes water. I rapidly blinked back my tears and looked away.

Why is it so easy to give into that voice ? Is this what my sister felt back when she was still trying to trust her ? What's it with this Lydia that makes her presence so comforting ?

I suddenly snatched my hand from her grasp, feeling somehow threatened. I took a short deep breath. There was still something I needed to know.

" What does friendship really mean to you ?" Lydia audibly took a step back.

"For me huh ?" I looked at her waiting. She smiled slightly. Something so easy on her. "I guess it's the thing that helps you move forward . That makes you grow up and mature , the one feeling that helps you find a way to yourself, discover a new you. Why do we like each other's as friends ? Why do we choose one person over the other ? I don't really know."

" I happened to meet you sister along with Dave on a day she needed help and I though that was a sign you know , that we met so we can be a support to each other. But the truth is actually I knew her from long before. I actually knew about many people from afar but you don't need to know all that . Anyway what I'm trying to say is I understand you're worried and you don't trust us and you're right to feel like so."

" I can't lie about the fact that being friends with Ena's got its benefits too." I heard Dave snort at that.

" But all you need to know is now that I'm with her I'm never letting go. No matter what you do." She said the same determination as with Dave shining through her eyes.

Her words were more confident than his and she seemed like she knew what she was getting into from the very beginning . I couldn't help but somehow feel like I could trust her. I still didn't know about Dave . I guess I'll have to keep an eye on him. He doesn't seem like too much of a threat anyway.

~♦︎~

"You'll probably never know Lone, but the day I met your sister was the day I was saved from myself."

Authors note: hey guys I'm back again after a very long pause .( sorry I still don't have a posting schedule but I'm working on it). Anyway did you guys ever go through a phase of questioning your friends before you got close? Or did you get along just like that ?

That's all for today ! Bisous

Le jasmin est une fleur que danse la rosée.

Arielna.