Bullies

"HUT-HUT-HUT-HUT-HUT-HUT-HUT-HUT-HUT-HUT-HUT!" Sir Stanley barked out the cadence as we descended the Stormhill down into Limgrave.

All who saw us stopped to bask in our radiance, and neither man nor beast could take their eyes off us. Not even the troll guarding the Stormgate.

As evening fell we came across a bonfire surrounded by a trio of sell swords of Kaiden and their horses. To a lesser man in search of a mount these fine beasts would be a welcome sight, but to a man of my tremendous stature…. well, I could simply build a chariot, but the rough terrain of the Lands between largely prohibit such travel. No, I will not commandeer these horses.

"Hello there, mountain jockeys." I greeted the men as I dismounted Sir Stanley and the man gratefully collapsed onto his face sucking wind.

"Have you ever seen as queer a sight as that, Stenka?" One of the men in scale armor with fur mantels asked another as they sat near the bonfire drinking ale from a pair of hollowed out ram's horns.

"Never in my life, Kondraty." Stenka snorted in mirth, "You there. Why do you do this thing?"

Before I could answer, the third Kaiden Rider interrupted as he continued brushing his mount's hair, his eyes as sharp as razors and his face like tan leather.

"Can't you fools see?" he asked, "Even horseless as they are, these men ride. Tell me, strangers, what is best in life?"

I contemplated for less time that it takes heart to beat and I answered him, "Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, and more money."

My words caused the jaws of the two men by the fire to drop and Kondraty, a man a thin as a whip stammered, "It's like he spoke the words engraved on my heart."

"All our hearts." the third man corrected.

The man patted his horse and turned to look at us.

"You all have the glow of grace far brighter in your eyes than any I have seen in an age." the man noted, "What purpose have you men, traveling these lands?"

I handed my helmet off to Lasky and took a stool from him to sit comfortably by the fire.

"I hear there is another man of gold here in Limgrave." I began, "A man atop the finest horse one could hope for. I travel south to fight that man and take that horse."

"You speak of the Tree Sentinel, the man positioned to greet the foul tarnished as they return to these lands from beyond the seas." the man grimly spoke, "No easy fight awaits you."

"I hope so." I laughed, "If he fails to provide the promised fight I fear for the quality of the horse that bears him."

"No fear there. Both man and beast are mighty, and move like one creature." the man nodded, "I am Yemelyan, one of the leaders among the Kaiden."

"I am Garm, Lord of Stormhill, Limgrave, and the Weeping Peninsula, Shardbearer." I introduced myself and the pair of us shook hands.

"I could feel the presence of the Great Rune, weighing down on my mind. Fortunately for these two, they lack enough mind to properly weigh down." Yemelyan barked in mockery of his companions.

"Hey!" Stenka shouted in outrage, "I know things!"

"And if you rub both the things you know together real hard we may have another fire to keep us warm tonight." Yemelyan further took the wind from the man's sails.

He took out a horn of ale for himself and watched the fire for a time while sipping before he spoke again.

"The boys and I will follow you come morning. See this battle you intend with the Tree Sentinel." he smiled, "If you are worthy then it will be the stuff of legends."

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The next morning after a brief ride south past the ruins of the Church of Elleh, Sir Stanley and I stood in front of the silent Tree Sentinel. Truly this man understood the path of drip. He sparkled like a wealthy woman's neck gold armor, paisley scrollwork, and a crest like a little bling bonzai mohawk. Even his horse wore enough classy swag to outfit everyone at the Players Ball.

Man had an oversized pimp cane with a gilded halberd on top and an exceptionally massive round shield carried in the other hand, the immaculate image of the man broken by the grasping roots clinging to it.

Sir Stanly and I drew our swords and raised our shields as my noble steed bore us into combat, leaping over the Tree Sentinel's opening charge and slash that carried it well beyond us. Both Sir Stanly and the gold armored horse wheeled around swiftly. On the next exchange the great knight lifted his halberd high and brought it down on a collision course with my helmet, but I smacked the halberd aside with my shield and delivered a thrusting riposte that the man rolled his torso back from to minimize damage to his shoulder.

Sir Stanley struck a sneaky thrust that skittered off the thick armor of his belly, but left a nice dent that signified that some force transferred to the man beneath. Neither telling wounds, but every little bit contributes to the whole.

Sir Stanley and I were knocked back when his horse quickly slapped its armored flank against us then reeled back to conceal the knight winding up a heavy thrust attack which Sir Stanley hopped aside from and the pair of us battered the knight once more with our blades. The horse and rider took a hard dive and the man slammed his heavy shield on the ground producing both an explosion of dirt and shockwave that Sir Stanley leapt over.

I wrapped the storm winds around us and we both thrust our swords in a powerful rocket attack that the man blocked with his shield. The resulting gong sounded like a pair of cannon balls hitting a church bell and if not for his brilliant horse's foot work it would have knocked the man clean out of the saddle.

The remainder of the fight consisted of the man and horse working their moves into brief chains which Sir Stanley and I defended and punished until finally the man riddled with wounds slipped from the saddle and I leapt from my stirrups, taking his place.

For many hours that horse bucked and rolled and slammed into buildings, trees, and cliffs to dislodge me but as the sun set its resistance failed and the tireless beast submitted to my control.

"Excellent work my Lord, and a fine steed." Yemelyan applauded our return, "The lads and I would like to swear ourselves to you and your cause, and convince the other Kaiden in the area to do the same."

"The stables should have been fixed up in Stormveil by the time we return. We can house many horses and their riders." I answered, "Kneel and swear your oaths."

The three Kaiden mercenaries swore themselves to my service and received my promises of protection and shared prosperity. When they stood the man considered Sir Stanley.

"If we may delay your return to the castle, my Lord, I know where we may 'procure' a mount for Sir Stanley the Steel Steed." the man offered.

"Tell me." I smirked at the knight's moniker.

"What do you know about the Night's Calvary?" he grinned back at me.

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I named him Argent for his dapple gray coat under all that gold armor, and Argent is a real bully of a horse. He took every chance to slam and kick the stallion hidden under a billowing black garb as I battled halberds versus the extra large extra armored Nazgul looking warrior.

Well, I too bullied my opponent who simply was not on the level of the battle fought previously under the light of the sun. Using the heavy golden mace-like counter balance at the bottom of my haft I smacked the man's helmet hard enough to crater it and sent the man to the ground before driving the beautiful flattened helix spike on my halberd head into his neck.

Sir Stanley quickly brought the battered horse under his control, and the now nine Kaiden riders who'd trickled in over our journey once more applauded the effort. They never much cared for any combat we may encounter, but the men from the northern mountains always appreciated the acquisition of fine horseflesh.

We camped for the night east of the bridge on which I felled the Night's Cavalryman. As we rested a procession passed us by. Two trolls with chains impaled into their chests pulled a large dark wood carriage followed by the shambling bodies of many emaciated men.

Another Kaiden rider broke off from this procession and joined our party.

"Look at them all. The golden grace just a dying spark in their eyes, only a step removed from the foul tarnished, but so much worse off than even those vile things." Yemelyan spat as we watched them slowly amble on.

"I feel so terribly sorry for them." Sir Stanley commented as he rested on a bed roll.

"Not for too much longer." Yemelyan grinned, "They trudge always onward, looking for a Grace Given Lord that will set these lands to right, not just squabble and fracture the world like the demigods. And here we have found him!"

"Here!" the many Kaiden shouted together in response.

I'd seen the golden glint in their eyes grow brighter as we traveled together as Lord and sworn subjects. It was the sign of grace growing within them. Sir Stanely's eyes actually glowed now, quite a site in the dark of the night.

"Fix these blighted and dilapidated lands and the light of hope will return to them over time. They'll be men once more." the leading Kaiden assured, "They just need a master that cares for more than just the accumulation of power."

"Power is absolutely a pursuit of mine." I responded to the man, "I just happen to be a very greedy man. I want everything, not just power. I want riches and adoration, love and glory. I want a world worth conquering and a land worth ruling. I will restore the faith of all who follow me, no matter how faded, for my own faith is more endless than the sea. More boundless than the sky. Deeper than the earth."

"They felt that way." one of the riders stated, "They all felt that way about Marika, and now look at them. Why are you different?"

I laughed at the question, honest though it was, "Because, I don't need faith in Marika. Not when I have faith. In. Me."

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Despite feeling like Torrent should have become Elden Lord after hauling me around everywhere, the noble horse yak thing is a tad small to be carrying Garm into battle. He is also super squishy making mounted combat not as fun as it could have been.

I honestly have no idea how long it is between the end of the wars during the Shattering and the Tarnished of no renown arriving. It seems like it should be very recent considering the state of the battlefields the Tarnished finds, many of them seemingly having happened with weeks of his or her arrival, but the only mentioned time frame comes from Ranni's narration and she says an entire age has passed. My best guess for that is a hundred and twenty years at least.

Obviously this has to have something to do with the laws of nature getting bent by the Elden Ring, as a hundred and twenty years of growth would have absolutely overgrown everything without human hands tending them.

There is no way in hell Garm gets a hundred and twenty years to play with before that go getter lights a fire under his ass, so I believe that I will give him just enough time to truly master his holdings of Stormhill, Limgrave, and the Weeping Peninsula.

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