Chapter 26: Mr Pigeon vs Ms Raven

(Author's notes: Let's see how well Steel Butterfly's foreknowledge helps against Mr. Pigeon while getting some heroic assistance from Albertine Friedman, also known as Ms. Raven.

Also, kind of like how Chris got arrested for deliberately causing Fred Haprele to become Akumatized into The Mime, Lieutenant Raincomprix will end up being suspended from his job without pay until further notice for deliberately and unknowingly causing Xaiver Ramier to become Akumatized into Mr. Pigeon despite the fact that Lieutenant Raincomprix was doing his job. The reason for that is because even though Roger Raincomprix has experienced being Akumatized for the first time, he still hasn't learned to be less harsh with people who don't share the same views as he does in terms of Parisian laws, and the more his harshness goes on, the more that people like Xaiver Ramier and Adrien's bodyguard keep getting Akumatized into Mr. Pigeon and Gorizilla. And we don't want that happening anymore, do we?

Enjoy chapter 26: Mr. Pigeon vs. Ms. Raven.)

(Quantic Universe Earth 139, Paris, France, May 11th, 2015, Steel Butterfly's voice-over POV as he writes in his Rorschach-inspired journal in his lair's observation deck once again...)

Steel Butterfly's journal.

May 11th, 2015.

First journal entry today.

So, the seconds are counting down to Xaiver Ramier becoming Mr. Pigeon for the very first time.

And I'm not happy about the fact that despite Mr. Ramier breaking a Parisian law by feeding pigeons without regard for their malnourished waste being spread across the city, he still got Akumatized because Lieutenant Raincomprix was being overbearingly harsh about Mr. Ramier breaking the Parisian park law of no feeding pigeons.

Despite the fact that I worked tooth and nail to prevent Lieutenant Raincomprix from losing his job for murdering Edgar Boullogne as Rogercop in retaliation for the murder of his wife ten years ago, Roger is still overbearingly strict and somewhat power abusive when it comes to Parisian laws.

Another particular example being the confrontation that caused Anarka Couffaine to become Akumatized into Captain Hardrock just because Roger didn't do his research about music on a houseboat before going to Anarka to ticket her for "exceeding the required noise decibels onboard the houseboat."

Now that I think about it, Roger Raincomprix definitely should've been out of a job for his actions, for the things he was about to do, and for the things he said in the respective Stoneheart, Mr. Pigeon, Gorizilla, Captain Hardrock, Startrain, and Qilin episodes.

But then again, Roger could easily become a murderous vigilante/antihero/anti-villain to get his revenge on me and the Commissioner of the Parisian Police Department for forcing him out of a job just because he was being overbearingly harsh and overly strict about certain people disobeying certain laws and not doing his research about certain laws before deciding to abuse his power as a police officer when it comes to something he believes to be a crime or offense when it actually isn't. And also because of him being blinded by his police officer's drive for justice.

In any case, I'm hoping that I can show the Commissioner of the police that Roger was responsible for Xavier's Akumatization despite Xavier disobeying a specific Parisian law.

And, not that I would admit this, but I'm worried because the days are counting down to when Lila Rossi first shows up.

I'm hoping that I can pull some pranks on her before and after we officially meet her.

Another thing I'm wondering is this: is Lila Rossi actually ticklish?

I guess I'll find out when she shows up and while she's sleeping.

In any case, I remember that Sabrina, Tikki, Marinette, Alix, and Chloe are ticklish in this dimension's timeline.

But I don't wanna seem like I'm a creepy person; in my opinion, the type of creepy people that entertain tickle tortures are the kind of people that perform tickle tortures every day, or at least, many times in a row amounting to more than ten times, maybe twenty times.

But thankfully, I don't need to worry about things like that for the time being.

Let's see how well we deakumatize Mr. Pigeon while having to contend with Cat Noir's allergy to feathers.

Maybe I can remove his allergy to feathers permanently.

Must remember to test out that theory.

On May the 21st, Lila Rossi, also known as Volpina, Chameleon, Hoaxer, and Hawk Moth II, will show up in Paris in general and at Francoise Dupont High School for the first time.

She turned into a compulsive liar due to unknown reasons that were never revealed to the viewers in the original timeline of this universe back on my Earth before season 6 finally revealed her to be the Future Hawk Moth, although people were already making theories in the form of fanfiction stories even before season 5 was released.

Some people thought that Lila was making tall tales because her parents divorced when her mother found out Lila's father was teaching her to lie without teaching her about the consequences of lying.

Others believe that Lila's father died and that Lila's mother couldn't make enough time to comfort Lila and be there for her just because of her new secretary job at the French-Italian embassy not too far from the Dupain-Cheng bakery, Francoise Dupont High School, and the Rossi residence.

Others believe that Lila's parents divorced just because Lila's father knew Lila was a liar and Lila's mother refused to believe it despite the evidence to the contrary.

And those are just three examples of theories about why Lila is a compulsive liar.

Either way, because of what Lila has done or ever will do in the future if she isn't stopped, nobody cares.

Nobody cares except for me, if only by a droplet.

Is the Thomas Astruc of my world right?

Did he really make Lila to be unlovable?

Soon, Lila will start a war against me and my allies from the shadows. She'll attempt to procure lots of money to build a lair for herself if she ever manages to steal Hawk Moth's Butterfly Miraculous from under our noses in an alternate future where my plans to have Hawk Moth, Lila, and Nathalie arrested on Heroes' Day all failed.

Why does one person equivalent to Lila turning to the path of darkness from an early age matter against so many others? Because there is good, there is evil, and there is neutrality. Evil must be punished, and neutrals in any kind of war will need to pick a side before their timers run out.

But like I once said a couple of journal entries ago, like Rorschach, even in the face of Armageddon, I will never compromise.

But there is so many evil people out there deserving of vengeance and retribution, and there is so little time.

However, now that I think about it, no matter if Lila was made to be unlovable or not, the reason why she started allying herself with Hawk Moth in the first place is because Marinette, as Ladybug, abused her identity to harshly call out Lila on her lies in front of Adrien instead of trying to be comforting and try to steer Lila in a more morally upright direction. And that was just because Marinette was always willing to abuse her powers to keep other girls like Chloe Bourgeois, Lila Rossi, and Kagami Tsurugi among others away from Adrien, all because Marinette put Adrien on a pedestal and believed him to be a prize to be won, and also because of the stupid identity rule and the love square that would eventually come to be reinforced by Marinette meeting Master Fu at the end of the Volpina episode and the beginning of The Collector. Although admittedly, some fanfictions depicted Lila refusing to listen to reason despite Ladybug taking a more gentle approach.

But either way, no matter if Lila would've listened to Marinette's more gentle lectures from different fanfictions on my Earth or not, that still doesn't make what either of them did right.

Now, I'm not saying that I actually approve of Miraculous Ladybug fanfictions from my Earth under the category of Marinette Salt or Marinette Dupain-Cheng Bashing, but that doesn't change the fact that they are also fanfictions written by people who disapprove of even Marinette's actions in the original timeline and they wanted to not only entertain people who also hate Marinette, but also to show people what could've happened if Marinette's actions in the original timelines got worse and she eventually had to suffer the consequences for them. Including being stripped of the Ladybug Miraculous and being stripped of her Guardianship of the Miracle Box. Simply because Grandmaster Su-Han has the ability to revoke rogue Guardians of their guardianship over the Miracle Boxes for any actions at all, and while making sure to either have the disgraced Guardians keep their memories as a reminder of their failures and misdeeds or making sure to permanently erase said disgraced Guardian's memories as a precaution for just in case they find a way around the anti-Miraculous wielding curse placed upon either themselves or their fellow disgraced Miraculous users.

But in any case, no matter if we gently point out Lila's lies when she first shows up or Marinette chooses to disobey me, I intend to do something nice for Marinette during her fourteenth birthday in a couple of months from now when it comes.

I haven't ironed out the details, but I'll come up with something.

But in any case, I intend to make sure that regardless of whether we bust Lila's lies gently or not, we record her meltdown and put it on our servers as the first piece of evidence that Lila is a monster that deserves to be permanently locked up until she dies of old age or by being murdered by a fellow prisoner just because Paris has long since continued to outlaw the death penalty.

Never despair, never give up, never surrender.

I leave my troops in my base to discuss their plans for the future, to discuss how to best use their Miraculouses, and so forth.

I'm going to make sure Lieutenant Raincomprix learns the hard way that his actions have consequences and his words are hurtful enough to get someone Akumatized just because some of them have more sensitivity than Mr. Ramier.

(Third person POV...)

At Francoise Dupont High School, in Ms. Bustier's classroom, Mr. Damocles was giving an announcement.

He said, "You only have one day to work on your best fashion piece, and it must be one of your own design. In ten hours, your finest presentation will be judged by none other than the great fashion designer, Gabriel Agreste, the father of our very own student Adrien Agreste. In fact, Adrien will model the winning design in his next photoshoot. And now, to announce this year's theme: derby hats."

Marinette smirks inquisitively as she whispers, "(Softly) Derby hats, you say?"

Chloe looks at Marinette and Alya, and she gives them a thumbs-up gesture.

In the courtyard, Marinette is pacing while looking in her sketchbook and talking with Alya.

Marinette sifts through the pages as she states, "Okay, good news. I literally have many derby hat designs to date, Alya. And it's not just derby hats, either. I've got top hats, caps, even two-horned hats. You need a beret? I'm your girl. A sombrero? No problem-o. But a derby hat? Let's just say I would need a little more finesse to create a derby hat since I haven't done such a thing in five to seven years, give or take."

Alya looks over the pages that have a derby hat, and quietly wonders to herself how Marinette always came prepared for occasions like these.

Alya stated, "I have to say, girl, you've really come prepared like a Girl Scout."

Alya hands the sketchbook back to Marinette as Adrien comes up.

Adrien remarks, "Wow, Marinette, those are such awesome designs. I didn't know that you had such fashionable talent."

Marinette replies, "Thanks, Adrien. They're pretty much off the hook, right?"

Adrien smiled as he replied back, "Yeah, and good hunting. Maybe I'll be wearing your derby hat at Dad's next photoshoot."

Adrien leaves and Marinette sighs wistfully.

Marinette heads off.

Chloe is watching from the shadows, hoping to put her secret sewing and knitting skills to good use.

What she didn't tell even her father or Sabrina was that Chloe secretly took her free time to learn how to sew and knit anything that a person can wear.

She may not have the experience that Marinette has by a few days from the times that they each learned how to make clothes when they were each five years old, but Chloe hoped that her own skills will be more than enough.

Everyone looks over to see Marinette almost runs into a wall, managing to stop two seconds early.

Marinette leaves to her "secret garden of inspiration," aka the Trocadéro.

Meanwhile, in Hawk Moth's lair, the window screen opens as the supervillain-slash-terrorist of Paris says to himself, "The time has come for all of us to find our next victim to Akumatize, my wickedly evil little akumas. The time has come to find our next supervillain to prey upon Ladybug and Cat Noir. Their Miraculouses must be mine! And if I get Steel Butterfly's Miraculous before I make my wish, that'll be a big bonus to make sure that none of the heroes nor the police nor the French government would dare to challenge me after I'm done."

Meanwhile, at the Trocadéro, Marinette telepathically asks Steel Butterfly for inspiration for a new derby hat.

Steel Butterfly answers, "You could make a derby hat with a pigeon feather. It's a total original that hasn't been made just yet."

Marinette telepathically asks excitedly, "A pigeon feather derby hat?!"

Steel Butterfly telepathically replies, "Yes, but you absolutely cannot use an actual pigeon feather because Adrien is allergic to actual feathers."

Marinette has a shocked expression on her face, signifying that she didn't know about Adrien's feather allergy.

Then, Marinette looks up and sees a man walking by, the man in question walking like a bird walking with their wings tucked against their bodies.

Steel Butterfly telepathically advises, "That's Xaiver Ramier, also known as Mr. Pigeon under Hawk Moth's control. As Mr. Pigeon, Xaiver has the ability to control pigeons through his pigeon whistle, and in the next two years in the original timeline, during his seventy-second Akumatization, he had the ability to turn people into raven-pigeon hybrids. And in the chronological timeline's future, Lila-slash-Future Hawk Moth Akumatizes Xaiver into Monsieur Rat, a rat-themed supervillain with the ability to control rats just like the Rat King. But thankfully, if my plans go well, all of that will never happen in this timeline."

Marinette watches as Xaiver takes out a brown paper bag, and blows his pigeon whistle.

A kit of pigeons fly to him while Marinette dodges an incoming pigeon.

Xaiver throws food for the pigeons and says, "Well, happy day, happy day! Splendid is the afternoon day!" A pigeon lands on his arm and Xaiver continues, "Ah, Edgar, you fancy one." The pigeon does a spin in flight. Xaiver remarks, "Fantastic, dazzling performance."

Suddenly, Roger Raincomprix, the former Rogercop, comes up and says, "Scram, you winged rats!"

The noise and movement causes the pigeons to fly away.

Steel Butterfly telepathically sneers in his demonic voice, "Even after being lectured about taking people's feelings into consideration and even after being saved from the Rogercop incident, Roger Raincomprix is still an annoying, harsh and inconsiderate son of a b**** no matter if he's doing his job the right way or not."

Roger says to Xaiver, "How many times do you need to be told, Mr. Ramier? No! FEEDING! The pigeons! It's strictly forbidden. If everyone feeds them, they'll leave their waste everywhere!"

Xaiver replies, "But, who's going to feed my poor pigeons?"

Roger replies back, "All the park keepers and park rangers know about you, Mr. Ramier. You're banned from every park in Paris. Leave now or I'll call the authorities – oh, wait, I'm the authorities. GET OUT!"

Xaiver walks away sadly.

Steel Butterfly telepathically snarled, "If I were the Commissioner of the Parisian Police Department, I would fire Roger, lock him up, and have him executed on his fifty-fifth birthday. But even if I could do that, Paris has long since abolished the death penalty. And not to worry; I plan on doing something much worse."

Marinette telepathically sneers, "Please tell me you don't actually plan on having Lieutenant Raincomprix fired from his job."

Steel Butterfly replies, "Of course not. I'm simply gonna have him suspended without pay until further notice. It'll teach him to take into consideration that not everyone shares the same views on Parisian laws as he does and also to take into consideration that being overly strict and overbearingly harsh can lead to Mr. Ramier and Adrien's bodyguard Gustavo constantly getting Akumatized. After all, if people like Mr. Ramier and Adrien's bodyguard keep getting Akumatized just because of Roger, that'd be making our jobs harder."

Marinette telepathically replies, "That's a good point."

Meanwhile, at the Seine, Xaiver sadly sits down on one of the benches.

In his lair, Hawk Moth remarks, "Poor Mr. Ramier. The feeling of injustice, such easy prey for my Akumas."

He takes a butterfly into his hand, gently covers it with his other hand, and infuses dark Miraculous magic into the butterfly, turning it into an Akuma.

Hawk Moth sends the Akuma on its way and says, "Fly away, my little Akuma, and Akumatize him!"

The Akuma makes its way towards the Seine.

Once the Akuma butterfly arrives, it flies to Xaiver and merges with his bird call.

Xaiver looks ahead in anger and the butterfly symbol flares onto his mask as he hears Hawk Moth say, "Mr. Pigeon, I'm Hawk Moth. Neither this police officer, nor any other of the park keepers or any other of the park rangers, should stop you from taking care of your friends. After all, what would Paris be without pigeons? What would pigeons be without you?"

Xaiver chuckles maniacally and he becomes Mr. Pigeon.

Mr. Pigeon flaps his arms like if they were wings, makes pigeon noises, and runs off.

Meanwhile, at the Trocadéro, Marinette finishes her sketch drawing of the pigeon-feather derby hat.

Marinette quietly exclaims, "Yes!"

Marinette holds up a drawing of the finished derby hat design, and Tikki looks at it with amazement.

Tikki remarks, "Now, that's a derby hat!"

Marinette replies, "Well, I certainly aim to please, Tikki."

Later, in Marinette's bedroom, Marinette is working on the derby hat and manages to successfully make a fake pigeon feather so as to avoid giving Adrien an allergy attack.

Of course, for humorous effect, Marinette slightly poked her finger with a pin, but thankfully not hard enough to accidentally draw blood. And at the same time, Tikki walked towards Marinette while carrying a red apple.

Marinette takes the apple and takes a bite out of it.

Meanwhile, Roger is doing his patrol when suddenly, a large swarm of pigeons descends upon him and attacks him.

Roger cries out in shock, fear and horror.

Meanwhile, Miguel is walking to the Dupain-Cheng bakery, but he sees multiple cars being held up by large amounts of cluster flocks of pigeons.

Miguel instantly teleports into Marinette's bedroom without being seen or filmed and he says, "Marinette, we got a situation. Xaiver Ramier has been Akumatized into Mr. Pigeon, just as I knew he would be."

Marinette turns on her computer and turns on TVi news to see Nadia Chamack reporting.

Nadia says, "Pigeons have taken over Paris. This is just as easily one of the many alarming situations giving Parisian authorities cause for major, big-time concern."

Nadia touches her earpiece to signify a news update.

Nadia continues, "Yes, I've just been told that someone called "'Mr. Pigeon"' is making an announcement."

Mr. Pigeon appears on screen and remarks, "Oh, dreary day, poor Parisians. (makes pigeon noises) Sorry to ruffle your feathers, but Paris now belongs to the entire pigeon population of the whole city! Flap flap! (makes pigeon noises again)"

Marinette exclaims, "Paris needs us! Tikki, Spots On!"

Marinette becomes Ladybug.

Miguel states, "Leppey, Elegant Wings Live!"

Miguel becomes Steel Butterfly.

Steel Butterfly sends out a Tenshi and the Tenshi merges with the raven claw necklace of one Albertine Friedman.

Steel Butterfly says, "Ms. Raven, I'm Steel Butterfly. I'm granting you the powers and abilities of a raven. In exchange for this gift, you must help me, Ladybug and Cat Noir deakumatize Mr. Pigeon. Do we have a deal, Ms. Raven?"

Albertine/Ms. Raven replies, "Yes, Steel Butterfly."

Albertine becomes Ms. Raven, a heavily-armored raven counterpart of Mr. Pigeon, complete with a set of heavily-armored raven wings to allow Ms. Raven to fly.

On the Parisian rooftops, Ladybug, Steel Butterfly and Ms. Raven land on a rooftop to see swarms of pigeons flying while making the shapes of airplanes.

Ladybug remarks, "Now this is weirder than weird."

Steel Butterfly replies, "Yep. If I remember correctly, some of Hawk Moth's Akumatized victims are absolutely absurd while many others are extremely dangerous, especially when they take on the form of Miraculous users like Volpina, Lady Misfortune, Cat Blanc, Shell Shock, Rena Rage, Queen Wasp, and Miracle Queen."

Ms. Raven remarks, "I have a feeling this battle is gonna take a while to finish with us as the winners."

Cat Noir says from a ledge above them, "Birds of a feather, flock together."

Steel Butterfly states, "Glad you could join us, kitty cat."

Cat Noir suddenly sneezes and falls to where the three primary fliers are.

Cat Noir stands up and explains, "Sorry; I'm allergic to feathers."

He sneezes again, and Steel Butterfly recoils in disgust.

Steel Butterfly angrily states while handing the cat hero some tissues, "Keep these on you at all times, will you?! In case you forgot what I told you yesterday, I'm a big neat freak and a germaphobe!"

Ladybug remarks sarcastically, "And your allergy to feathers is sooo helpful."

Cat Noir takes the tissues and replies, "Tell me about it."

He sneezes into the first tissue and blows his nose.

He crumples up the tissue and Steel Butterfly disintegrates it with a small, but safe fireball.

Cat Noir also states, "But these birds are only part of the problem we're facing. Right now, as we speak, all of the park keepers in Paris are vanishing without a trace."

Ladybug exclaims, "What?! We have to track down Mr. Pigeon ASAP."

Ms. Raven asks, "And how exactly are we going to do that?"

Steel Butterfly muses aloud, "I have an idea, and it might just work. And since everyone else except for Corvo is unavailable, and since Corvo is gonna be our eyes in the sky, we're gonna have to find a way to pull this off with just the four of us."

In the Place des Vosges, Steel Butterfly is wearing a park ranger outfit and cap with his helmet and mask removed, having used his replica of Megamind's Disguise Generator for the disguise effect.

As Ladybug, Cat Noir and Ms. Raven watch from their hiding spots, Steel Butterfly takes out a stun rifle, cocks the weapon, starts marching back and forth, and he starts whistling to the tune of the full version of "The Star-Spangled Banner."

Slightly bewildered, Ladybug asks, "Is... is he actually whistling to the tune of the American national anthem, The Star-Spangled Banner?"

Ms. Raven answers, "Apparently so. If this is any indication, I'd say Steel Butterfly's civilian and superhero identities are both staunch patriots, even though he's a superhero, not a military-sanctioned super soldier attempting to serve his country like Captain America."

Ladybug remarks flatly, "Fantastic. Our leader was chosen to lead this team, and he turns out to be from the United States."

Steel Butterfly growls in response, shutting Ladybug up.

A pigeon watches from a street lamp, and before Steel Butterfly can take aim, the pigeon flies away.

Steel Butterfly remarks, "Great. Mr. Pigeon is gonna be alerted to our presence and he's gonna come in a swarm of pigeons."

The pigeon lands on Mr. Pigeon's arm and coos the message into his ear.

Mr. Pigeon remarks, "Steel Butterfly, Ladybug, Cat Noir and some sort of raven-themed superhero? How unexpected, but well done, buddy-boy. Pigeons will reign supreme! Power to the pigeons!"

Mr. Pigeon makes pigeon noises as he jumps off his perch, and the pigeons make a platform as they carry him off.

Meanwhile, back at the Place des Vosges, as Steel Butterfly continues marching back and forth like a soldier, Ladybug asks, "Where is he? He should've been here by now!"

Steel Butterfly points up and asks rhetorically, "Does that answer your question, Ladybug?"

Everyone sees a swarm of pigeons fly overhead.

Cat Noir sneezes again.

A bunch of pigeons form a big ball and start carrying Cat Noir away as he tries to run.

They try to grab Steel Butterfly as well, but he teleports out of the way just in time.

Ladybug asks aloud, "What the—"

Ladybug, Steel Butterfly and Ms. Raven fly after the pigeons.

The pigeons reach the top of the Grand Paris Hotel.

They drop Cat Noir off on the roof.

Cat Noir dusts some pigeon feathers off his armor and he sneezes again.

The pigeons look at him as Ladybug, Steel Butterfly and Ms. Raven land next to him.

Cat Noir asks, "Where on Earth is that bird-brain, Mr. Pigeon?"

Ladybug muses in response, "He's gotta be here somewhere..."

Steel Butterfly calls out while pointing behind them, "Found him!"

Everyone looks at Mr. Pigeon being carried by a swarm of pigeons.

The butterfly symbol flares on Mr. Pigeon's face again as Hawk Moth says, "If you want to give Paris back to the pigeons for good, you must rid the city of those four pests first."

Mr. Pigeon sounds his bird call, and the pigeons start to circle around the four flying superheroes.

Ladybug remarks, "Call me crazy, but I actually feel like bird seed all of a sudden."

The pigeons form a swarming shield to keep the four heroes boxed in.

Cat Noir asks, "Got any bright ideas, bug?"

Ladybug retorts, "You're the cat, don't you eat these things for breakfast?"

Steel Butterfly answers for Cat Noir, "Actual cats eat certain birds and have been responsible for certain birds going extinct for hundreds of years, but in regards to Cat Noir actually eating a bird, he technically doesn't count because he's a human being, not an actual cat."

A gigantic cage is brought down over the four fliers, imprisoning them in place.

Ladybug exclaims, "Look!"

Steel Butterfly growls in anger.

Mr. Pigeon makes pigeon noises again as he remarks, "Turpy day. I'm so ruthless. Hehehehehehehe."

Hawk Moth telepathically says again, "Excellent! Now, take Ladybug's Miraculous, Cat Noir's Miraculous and Steel Butterfly's Miraculous!"

Mr. Pigeon states while making bird noises again, "Your Miraculouses, you three. Give them to me or face the wrath of my feathered friends."

He sounds his bird call again and some of the pigeons on top of the cage start banging the top of the structure.

The other pigeons turn around and point their behinds at Steel Butterfly, Ladybug, Cat Noir and Ms. Raven.

Mr. Pigeon asserts, "Dada-dee, on the count of three, my beloved pigeons will commence fire. You can still save your sorry skins by handing me your Miraculouses. One, two..."

Steel Butterfly activates one of his Dragon Butterfly clawed gauntlets and calls out, "Fist Of Steel! Dragoclysm!"

As his clawed gauntlet and his destruction magic bubbles, Steel Butterfly uses his Dragoclysm to destroy the bars of the cage.

As the pigeons fly away, Mr. Pigeon cowers back towards the edge of the rooftop of the hotel while the four heroes advance on him.

Cat Noir remarks, "Well, well, well. Looks like the pigeon is really a chicken."

Steel Butterfly adds, "And a scaredy-cat. He's a chicken-cat."

Steel Butterfly imitates a chicken clucking and then a cat meowing in fear.

Cat Noir, Ladybug and Ms. Raven laugh hysterically.

Mr. Pigeon replies, "Me? I'm not flying away. I'm just killing two birds with one stone."

He sounds his bird call again and jumps over the edge of the roof.

Some of the pigeons manage to catch him, and then they lift him back up and take him away while making the shape of Santa Claus' sleigh.

Mr. Pigeon makes more bird noises as he remarks, "Merry Christmas! Hahahahaha!"

A flock of pigeons dive towards the four heroes in the shape of a Christmas present, and they run inside and close the door behind them to stop the pigeons.

A large bulge from the other side of the door forms as pigeons slam into it all at once.

The four heroes relax themselves for a moment at the foot of the stairs.

Ms. Raven then asks, "Doesn't Mr. Pigeon know that Christmas is not for another half of the year?"

Steel Butterfly answers, "Apparently, he meant it as some sort of combination of an insult, a mockery, and a joke. Not even gonna think about laughing at it."

Ladybug then asks, "You think the pigeons that dented this door will be okay?"

Steel Butterfly shrugs as he replies, "Not that I care about these partridges, but they'll be fine when either of the two of us uses our Miraculous cures."

Outside, Mr. Pigeon calls out, "I'm not done with you yet!"

Mr. Pigeon rides his pigeons away from the hotel as the pigeons form an airplane shape and Mr. Pigeon makes more bird noises all the while.

Steel Butterfly teleports himself and his three companions back to the rooftop of the hotel.

Cat Noir asks, "Hey, how come I'm not sneezing in Ms. Raven's presence?"

Steel Butterfly answers, "Because Ms. Raven's feathers are metallic."

Cat Noir replies, "Oh. I see."

Everyone notices the pigeons flying in the same direction.

Ladybug remarks, "That's odd, the pigeons are flying in the same direction. We better follow them."

Steel Butterfly calls out, "Hold it! Cat Noir, I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to sit this one out."

Ladybug, Cat Noir and Ms. Raven exclaim in unison, "What?! Why?!" "What?! Why?! "What?! Why?!"

Steel Butterfly explains, "Because, if we try to sneak attack Mr. Pigeon, a draft of feathers will be blown into Cat Noir's face by the wind. Therefore, he'll sneeze again, Mr. Pigeon spots us, and boom; our sneak attack fails."

Ladybug states, "I'm sorry, kitty, but he has a point."

Cat Noir states, "All right. Good hunting, you three."

Cat Noir starts to fly home, but then Steel Butterfly says, "On the other hand, maybe I can remove your allergy to feathers permanently. This is for just in case we fail to apprehend Hawk Moth before the New Year of 2016 and his reign of terror continuing for another three to four years consists of constantly Akumatizing Mr. Pigeon."

Cat Noir brightens as he exclaims, "That's a much better idea!"

Steel Butterfly places his clawed hands on either side of Cat Noir's head and says angelically and demonically, "I hereby remove your allergy to feathers of every type permanently so that you will not suffer any allergy attacks in the presence of organic feathers again!"

There is a flash of golden-yellow light before it recedes and Ladybug asks worriedly, "Did it work?"

Ms. Raven proposes, "Let's find out."

Cat Noir opens his helmet, and coincidentally, a pigeon feather blown in the wind brushes against his face, but he doesn't feel anything related to allergies at all!

Cat Noir exclaims, "It worked!"

Steel Butterfly's expressible faceplate morphs into a victorious smile.

Later on, at the Grand Palais, Ladybug, Ms. Raven, Cat Noir and Steel Butterfly follow the pigeons to a building.

They look inside to see Mr. Pigeon surrounded by pigeons and a cage full of park keepers, including Lieutenant Raincomprix.

Ladybug remarks, "So, that's where Mr. Pigeon is keeping all of the park keepers he's kidnapped."

Steel Butterfly replies, "Yep, the Grand Palais."

Cat Noir suggests, "Let's head to the back and then up to the roof. It'll help us avoid detection."

The foursome quietly runs around the outside.

Steel Butterfly stops to stun a watching pigeon into unconsciousness before it can snitch to Mr. Pigeon.

Steel Butterfly explains on the roof, "The Akuma's in his bird call. If we can get that thing and destroy it, we'll be able to capture and purify the Akuma. Okay, Ms. Raven, you open the window. Ladybug, use your yoyo to grab Mr. Pigeon and yank him up to the roof. Once that's done, I'll freeze him with my pause button and Cat Noir will use his Cataclysm to destroy his bird call."

Ladybug replies, "Sounds like a plan."

Ms. Raven opens the roof skylight and Ladybug throws her yoyo around Mr. Pigeon, yanking him onto the roof.

But before Steel Butterfly can freeze the pigeon man, Mr. Pigeon manages to flip away and sound his bird call.

Two large flocks of pigeons form spheres around his hands.

Mr. Pigeon remarks, "Deedly-dee-dee, come closer, I've got a bone to pick with you."

Ms. Raven sneaks up behind him and knocks him out with a simple hit to the head with a metal baseball bat.

Mr. Pigeon drops to the floor.

Cat Noir remarks disappointedly, "Well, that was simpler than I thought."

Ladybug replies, "Yep. It really was."

Once Ms. Raven picks up the bird call and hands it to Steel Butterfly, he smashes the bird call with his fist, but he doesn't even feel the pain due to his absolute invulnerability to physical harm, due to his superhuman strength, and because of the fact that his gauntlet gloves are made of metal.

The Akuma flies out of the bird call.

Ladybug does her usual spiel and uses her Miraculous Ladybug.

The bird call is fixed, Mr. Pigeon becomes Xaiver Ramier again, and Lieutenant Raincomprix is returned to the Trocadéro.

Xaiver asks, "Huh? What happened? Where am I?"

The four heroes do their signature fist bump.

In Hawk Moth's lair, the terrorist of Paris growls, "Wretched pigeons, wretched Steel Butterfly! I'll destroy every one of you!"

The window to his lair closes.

Later on, at Francoise Dupont High School, everyone is getting ready to present their hats to Gabriel Agreste.

Marinette stands tall and proud with Alya by her side.

Chloe looks at her own derby hat, which looks like a red and blue version of the first derby hat that was invented in 1849.

Nathalie comes up to Mr. Damocles and says, "Hello, Mr. Damocles. I am Mr. Agreste's executive assistant, Nathalie."

Mr. Damocles replies, "Hello, miss. Pardon me from asking, but where is Mr. Agreste?"

Nathalie holds up a tablet with Gabriel on video call.

Gabriel answers, "I'm here."

Mr. Damocles states, "Ah. Hello, Mr. Agreste. Welcome to our school."

Gabriel says from the tablet, "Adrien, please take Nathalie around."

Mr. Damocles, Adrien and Nathalie go up to see Juleka and Rose's mechanical derby hat.

Mr. Damocles says, "As you'll see, Mr. Agreste, our students have poured their hearts and souls into their projects."

Mr. Damocles and Adrien escort Nathalie to see Marinette's hat.

Gabriel looks over to Marinette and remarks, "Hmm. Very exquisite creation. You definitely have the laboring hands of a hat maker, Marinette. Congratulations on your demonstration. You're the winner."

Marinette takes a humble bow and replies, "Thank you, Mr. Agreste."

Gabriel smiles as he announces, "Adrien will wear your derby hat on our next advertising campaign."

Adrien puts his hand on Marinette's and remarks, "You did an awesome job, Marinette."

Adrien puts on the derby hat and he doesn't sneeze.

Thinking of a quick cover story to lead Hawk Moth astray, Marinette says, "Before you ask, Adrien, I became aware of your allergy to feathers, so I made a synthetic feather."

Adrien replies, "Thanks, Marinette."

Gabriel remarks, "Even better. You certainly have quite the talent, Marinette. I wish to see you at the next photoshoot... in person."

Marinette nearly faints, but Adrien catches her.

Adrien says, "Forgive her, Dad, but as you can see, Marinette tends to be like this when she's given praise by her favorite celebrities."

Gabriel smiles fondly as everyone progresses.

Later that afternoon, the Commissioner of the Parisian Police Department had announced that because of Steel Butterfly's evidence of the cause of Mr. Pigeon's Akumatization, Lieutenant Roger Raincomprix was hereby suspended without pay until further notice. And to be sure that Mr. Pigeon's Akumatization doesn't happen again, Lieutenant Raincomprix was assigned to take a course on how to best approach someone breaking a law while living in a city terrorized by a supervillain-slash-magical terrorist who preys on negative emotions on a regular basis and how to best handle anyone breaking small laws as long as the person in question is not a repeat offender.

Roger didn't like it, but he knew he had to be better, even if it means being somewhat lenient with certain law breakers like Xaiver Ramier.

That night, another Akumatized villain arose: Cornelia Sanderson, also known as Earth Beast, a supervillain with the same powers and abilities as John White/The Beast, Earth Mover, and Beast from the X-Men.

In the battle, Steel Butterfly proved able to manipulate the world's primary five elements of earth, fire, water, wind and metal as part of his innumerable superpowers.

It took well over twenty minutes, but Earth Beast was finally deakumatized.

Then, Steel Butterfly said to his two protégés, "The next Akumatization to avert is Max Kante, also known as Gamer, a video game supervillain with the ability to control a mechanical battle suit from the video game Ultimate Mecha Strike III and respawn the mecha from the previous level where it was defeated. And at the same time, Gamer absorbs people as green video game power-up orbs to upgrade his battle suit all the way to the unbeatable fourth level."

Ladybug, Cat Noir and Steel Butterfly made plans to make sure that Marinette doesn't enter the video game competition so as to not accidentally humiliate Max by winning the video game as part of qualifying.

(Steel Butterfly's voice-over POV as he writes in his Rorschach-inspired journal as he makes his way to the local cemetery once again...)

Steel Butterfly's journal.

May 11th, 2015.

Second journal entry today.

Xavier Ramier as Mr. Pigeon was easy to deakumatize.

And in particular, I literally removed Adrien's allergy to feathers permanently not only to help with deakumatizing Mr. Pigeon, but also to prevent any future allergy attacks just in case any girl would have the audacity to tickle torture Adrien with feathers among other things. In addition to the sneezing attacks Adrien had in Mr. Pigeon 72 in season 4, if in the event we're unable to apprehend Hawk Moth, Mayura, and Future Hawk Moth on Heroes' Day this year.

And because of what Lieutenant Raincomprix did, he's hereby suspended without pay until further notice.

But I have a feeling that somehow, he's not gonna learn his lesson.

I thought about Lila Rossi's ambiguous backstory on my way to the same cemetery where I paid my last respects to Maxence.

It could be possible that Lila's parents were indeed divorced. It's possible that Lila's father is indeed dead.

But I have a feeling that even if either of them or if both of them are true, then Lila's backstory is more tragic than I thought.

All the same, if either versions of Lila's backstory are true separately or in unison, then what?

People from my Earth made puzzling references to other members of Lila's family mentioned in fanfiction stories.

Some of them involved both of Lila's grandparents being devoutly religious and strict about raising their kids and grandkids in the Bible, particularly the thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor part of the Ten Commandments. Or in modern terms, you shall not lie.

Some of the other references to Lila's family also involved Lila's grandmother being an old farmer and overall extreme technophobe who despises modern technology and has some connections with the Italian police to arrange for troubled children to work on her farm as opposed to being thrown in prison.

Some involve Lila's father being portrayed as a cheater on his wife, or being past-tense dead for years, or divorced from Lila's mother due to their respectively different views of how to discipline Lila for her actions, etc.

And at least one involves Lila's uncle being just as much of a big fat liar in his youth and adult years as Lila was, and at least a few of them portray Lila as she is: still as much of a liar even after Lila does willingly become the new Hawk Moth.

Even so, some of those fanfictions about Lila stealing the Butterfly Miraculous trouble me. Especially because some of them involve Lila revealing to her mother her true colors before killing her to prevent any form of future interference and/or to prevent being ratted out.

Might Mrs. Rossi and the rest of Lila's family be at risk of being targeted by Lila shortly before or after she becomes Hawk Moth II?

Like I said in journal entries gone past, in this Miraculous Ladybug universe with some elements of the Watchmen comics and movie but without masked vigilantes or magical superheroes being outlawed, without the promise of thermonuclear war on the horizon, without those like Ozymandias working behind the scenes to bring a peaceful utopia to the world at the cost of millions of innocent lives that include former masked vigilantes, and without the horrible alterations in history featured in the world of Watchmen, there are so many questions and very little answers.

But like I also said in past journal entries, nothing is not salvageable. Nothing is hopeless, not while there's life.

In the cemetery, as much and far as I remember, all the white crosses stood in neat rows, and with neat chalk marks on a ginormous scoreboard.

As soon as I saw the grave of Marinette's distant great-great-great grandmother in the cemetery, I paid my last respects on her behalf quietly, without needing to hear the priest's scripture reading this time since I know it by heart, having heard some of the same scripture readings in funerals gone past over and over and over again back on my Earth and during my time travel training for thirty-two thousand and fifty-six years on this version of Earth.

Thanks to my godlike photographic memory, I remember what needs to be said about the people buried here. Even if the scripture readings come out in French.

Marinette's distant ancestor... buried in the cloudy dusk.

Is this what happens to us without supernatural powers related to longevity or immortality?

A long life well led or ill-led with no time for reminiscing of the past, while leading an active, healthy lifestyle well into seventy years of age, with memories of how to live a good life physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, so that when our time comes, only our relatives, close friends, classmates, teachers, coworkers, and old acquaintances leave flowers and make short, sweet, heartfelt, and genuinely feeling speeches about us in their lives years into the past.

Peaceful lives outside of the world of superheroes ending peacefully. Those people die in bed.

That's one of the few but many things that fate allows.

Is it something in the personalities of those who live outside of the superhero multiverse like me and the people of my Earth where superheroes are fictional and masked vigilantes with the right equipment and lots of money among other things are generally frowned upon?

Maybe, maybe not. Who knows?

But either way, even the police have to do what they can to maintain order in our cities and our countries.

Other people inside and outside the superhero multiverses bury their heads between the swelling teats of satisfaction and fulfillment, kittens squirming underneath a mother cat and a cat bed system for shelter... but there is no shelter... and the distant future of uncertainty regarding whether or not more biblical prophecies will be fulfilled is bearing down like an express train driving down the rails at no less than over two hundred and sixty miles per hour.

The Comedian from Watchmen understood in his own sick, twisted way. Sure, he treated it like a joke, but he understood in his own way.

Heckle, even my former colleague Funny Man understood, but not necessarily in the exact same way that the Comedian understood.

Both of them in their respective universal streams saw the cracks in modern human society, they saw the tiny men in masks trying to hold it together. They both saw the true faces of the twentieth century and the twenty-first century, and yet they chose to become reflections and parodies of both. No one else saw the joke, but then again, nobody said that it was a good joke that wasn't crude, or void of obscenities and swearing, or void of using the Lord's name in vain.

I heard this Watchmen joke once, and I think most who read the comic books or watched the 2009 film adaptation will be familiar with it: a man goes into his doctor's office. He tells the doctor that he's depressed. He tells the doctor that life itself seems to be metallic and barbaric. He tells the doctor that he feels lonely in a menacing world wherein what lies ahead years into the future is indistinct and ambiguous. The doctor replies, '"Your treatment is uncomplicated. The great funny clown Pagliacci is in the neighborhood tonight. Go and see him. That should lift your spirits."' But the man just bursts into tears and says, '"But doctor, I am Pagliacci."' Like Rorschach said, it was a good joke. Everybody who heard the joke laughed. There was a roll on a snare drum. And then curtains.

In any case, the next Akumatization to avert is Max Kante, also known as The Gamer, The Gamer 2.0., The Gamer 3.0., and Pegasus with the Horse Miraculous.

As long as I live in this Quantic Universe, Max Kante will never become Pegasus!

For you see, he was one of the few of Marinette's classmates to believe Lila's lies despite being the smartest kid in their entire school.

HMPH! For a smart aleck, he's a total dummy for believing that a paper napkin could gouge out his eyes!

Well, I have a remedy for that. I'll reveal it later, but for now, I have to iron out all of the finer details.

Anyway, up next after the averted Gamer incident is Jalil Kubdel, aka The Pharaoh.

I hate that guy to an extreme.

The reason for that will come in the journal entry after Gamer's Akumatization is averted.

Anyway, my meeting with Ethereal Phoenix left a bad taste in my mouth.

She literally is scared of coming out of hiding to fight crime once more despite being healthy and active.

She says that she's worried her family will find out.

And while I can't say that I'm happy for her, I still believe that she should've not quit when she was given the opportunity to continue fighting crime alongside the United Heroez.

Quiver is just as bad; a flippy flabby coward who sits whimpering in his basement day in and day out.

I don't know why there aren't more and more superheroes across the world compared to Marvel Comics and DC Comics, specifically in terms of Marvel and DC cartoons and movies such as Justice League Unlimited, Justice League Dark: Apokolips War, Ultimate Spider-Man, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Avengers Endgame, The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, and the first Injustice video game.

But nevertheless, heroes aren't just made; they're also born.

And I don't necessarily mean in the natural way carbon-based life forms are born.

But in any case, I will continue my journal entries for the foreseeable future.

If this journal is confiscated in the event of my being incapacitated, it will magically and irreversibly be erased to prevent any foreknowledge from being abused by rogue Time Guardians or anyone else of similar categories.

Now, what I intend to do in order for Max Kante to not get Akumatized into The Gamer is simple. Elegant. Doable.

Simply put, I'm going to tell Marinette all about how it happens and what to do to avoid it happening. Even if she doesn't get approached to participate in the Ultimate Mecha Strike III video game tournament that Francoise Dupont High School is hosting.

Granted, she might not try to prevent Max from getting Akumatized – oh wait, that's right, she's going to do what I told her to do anyway.

Sometimes, Marinette tends to do the opposite of what we say, for both good and bad reasons.

Eh. Either way, this temporary phase of doing the opposite of what we say, especially in situations that involve spending time with Adrien, will come to an end. And I sure hope so.

Because if she rubs Max the wrong way and thereby cause him to get Akumatized, I ain't going to save her ass.

I know what you might be thinking. You might be thinking, "Isn't that harsh? I mean, she's your protégé, she's your teammate, and most of all, she's one of your favorite heroes."

Well, let's just say most of Marinette's bad actions starting from the Origins episodes by catching herself before she can reveal her identity to her partner has secretly somewhat soured my opinion about Marinette in general.

And besides, some fanfiction writers who write accusation/revenge/betrayal fanfictions with Marinette as the main target due to her actions would happen to agree with me.

BUT, in this timeline, because there's no identity rule and no love square whatsoever, those who love Marinette in spite of her flaws – after all, she's only human, and all manner of human beings have flaws, and this'll continue until Judgement Day – would agree that my universe's iteration of Marinette similar in some ways to the one in the fanfiction What if we had known each other first and fallen in love second is much better than Canon Marinette and her many fanfiction counterparts where she suffers the consequences for stalking, theft, abuse of power, and so forth.

Now, I know that most people don't like a big majority of the primary, secondary, tertiary, minor, and so forth of the characters just because of the writers and Thomas Astruc making them the way they are back on my Earth, but that doesn't change the fact that, given the evidence of time travel and interdimensional travel being real, I intend to make sure that my counterparts and other allies I've met over the course of the past thirty-two thousand and fifty-six years follow my example as well as the example of the fanfiction writer responsible for the Archive Of Our Own story, Miraculous: Reacting To The Future.

Maybe we'll be able to change the entire Quantic Omniverse of Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir for good.

WHO KNOWS?

Just the thought of changing the cartoon omniverse makes me want to dance in my basketball shorts all night! Not literally, of course.

Anyway, the next journal entry will reveal whether or not we're successful in averting Max Kante's Akumatization into The Gamer.

The End.