Douluo Dalu: The Legend of the Dragón God of Dark Frost

I been looking for a good douluo fan fic plea don’ drop 🙇

Hello, I finished reading the novel (at least the last chapter currently released, chapter 45), I would like to say that your novel has the capacity to improve a lot, in my opinion, but you will have to fix the beginning, there are many inconsistencies, for example : the spirit ring (spirit soul) is a technique created by tiam meng (1 million year old beast of doudalu 2) who is 10,000 years after tang san (douluo dalu 1),he himself says that he developed it and he had to seal it a large part of his soul power, not being able to give it all at once to the MC otherwise he would explode. It will become one punch man(in his case, a One Sword Man), if it continues at this pace, I believe it will be difficult to write because douluo dalu's novel is not prepared to deal with an extremely powerful and very fast person, what will remain will only be the gods to compete with him and, if he is their enemy, I'm not saying that mc can't be op, but, not so fast, not so many jumps in time, he developed the characters more, there are amazing characters that can be developed in different ways. many ways, remember that every protagonist has a story, tell him his, tell him how he fills the hall of spirits and tang san, his plans, so start changing, well, that's my opinion , hope I helped.

Hello how are you? This is my first time writing something, so it probably has a lot of bugs, bad character development, etc. But I'm learning how to do all of this, so if you have critiques, feel free to do so as long as you've taken the time to read my novel. This novel was not planned, so many things are spontaneous. I'm currently planning another fanfic, and in this one I'm going to have a lot of things planned, so I hope you can read it. Thank you very much in advance for reading my fanfic.

Grammar is really bad, especially the pronouns. All sentences are barely readable and characters change at least 3 times their gender within them.

Meh, it's difficult for me to read and it's a bit boring. stander beginner author, needs a bit of work with writing. OP character with hakuna matata.