Prolog

"Wouldn't a ghost increase your property value?"

Newsport, a city home to twenty million "people" was your typical mega city. From the north to the center of the city was lined with increasingly ridiculously shaped buildings and skyscrapers (after all those architects paid for their expensive schools). This was where people earned their hard earned cash which they spent on the conveniently placed shopping malls, restaurants and nightclubs with rooftops overlooking the photo-worthy skyline of the city. Everything about the city, the roads, the fancy shiny cars on those roads were typical.... Except for the inhabitants.

Thanks to a little incident called the great clash, the people working in those offices and dancing in those night clubs were not always human.

The great clash brought the shadow people to the streets. Things that were previously only found in people's imagination, and crappy horror shows now lived among humans.

Goblins, witches, vampires and shapeshifters mingled freely among the rest of the population. Even without the great clash, creatures of the night would have eventually come out before humans inevitably killed off everyone in the planet in a stupid dick measuring contest. Heck, word on the street was that they were tired of blurry videos people posted as proof of their existence, and CCTV made traditional hunting impossible (damn cameras).

So all the great clash really did was give humans and supernaturals a common enemy so that the humans don't freak out too much when they realize they are not exactly on top of the food chain anymore.

You might be thinking, all of this is good information except what the heck is the great clash.

That was when a portal to another dimension was opened, letting in hundreds of six legged eight foot carnivorous beasts in.

Who let the six legged, eight foot carnivorous beasts out you ask?

Well he has a name but most people call him the mythical asshole. The six years that it took for the humans and supernaturals to deal with this new threat was tough and resulted in a lot of people dying on both sides, so forgive them for being a little salty.

The asshole hoped by opening this portal, he would be able to build his army of minions and ultimately rule the world!!! (insert evil laugh here)

This was a bad idea for multiple reasons,

One: carnivorous beasts of other dimensions were not listening to the puny wizard who let them out. They saw easily accessible, low energy food walking everywhere and tripping while trying to run away and set out to do what beast does best. Hunt humans, including the mythical asshole.

Two: he ignored the fact that world domination was really bad in terms of admin. If he stopped to think he would have seen that the world was so over waging wars and conquering land. If they want to control a country and get their stuff, they just outsource the government to someone more friendly.

None of this is directly relevant to the current story, because it's been fifty years, and humans have accepted their new reality and settled down. Heck they even began businesses to take advantage of their new neighbors!

To hear what the answer was to the question at the start, we'll take two public buses totalling one and a half hours of wasted time of traffic and reach the southern ghetto of Newsport. Home to the usual hoodlums, drunks and addicts as well as to the unsightly supernatural beings and those who still prefer the shadows.

The ghetto was tightly packed with buildings and smelled of dirt, gas and urine. It was where the city dumped the majority of people not rich enough to live in the weirdly shaped apartment buildings, in the center of the town.

Up above the restaurant that served fresh seasonal food dangled a faded sign that simply read "Call us!" laid the setting of this story. Take the rickety stairs on the right side of the building, squeeze yourself along the corridor until you reach apartment 3C and press the bell. Depending on who's close to the door, you'll be welcomed inside by either a vampire in a frilly dress and curly hair, a goblin wearing a turtleneck and an orange beanie or a completely ordinary human woman.

If you're not so lucky you'll be told to fuck off by a blue eyed, shaggy haired mystery man but it's very rare he'll be out of his room.

These misfits will listen to your problems and do anything you want them to do no matter which species you are.

Whether you want to find a lost pet, contact the dead or gently yet firmly suggest to a business rival to stay away, they;ll be who you want to call! Unless of course, it's getting yourself out of an active police investigation. (They've been there, done that! Didn't work out too well in the end).

All you have to bring is the fees agreed (consultation is free!) and even more importantly don't forget the carrot cake!