Part 6.7

"You know what Keystone, you look a little different." I tell him after looking him over for a few brief seconds. There are a few things about him that are almost unexplainably different from when we first met.

"Oh? How so?" The Cipher Pol agent asks curiously.

I start to gesture at his entire body but I fail to find the words to sum up exactly how they're different in a single sentence. Do instead I settle for naming them off one by one.

"First off you used to be taller. Like, an entire foot taller." I say, holding my hand a foot above their head to represent their old height.

"You know how drinking milk makes you grow tall? Well drinking coffee makes you shorter."

I cringe when he mentions milk. Milk has another meaning in Impel Down and prisons in general than it does everywhere else. Makes me vomit just thinking about it. Not as much as truffle butter, but it's close.

"Okay. Coffee explains your height. How about the fact your hair is much longer. Like shoulder length. I'm pretty sure hair doesn't grow that fast."

He waves his hand dismissively. "Hair extensions are all the rage with the 'hip' and 'cool' crowd these days and I'm just trying to fit in. You should try it yourself."

Keystone seems to have a logical explanation for everything. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

"How about the wide hips, hourglass figure, and breasts?"

Keystone laughs in a way that isn't nervous at all. "Just... I decided it would be time for a change of pace with my lifestyle. You know. Just trying something new."

Ah. That make sense. Like how I sometimes wear sandals instead of my fancy iron boots. I just like the feeling of something new like Keystone said. Specifically I enjoy the feeling of air between my toes, makes them feel cleaner. I know I need it, considering how I haven't taken a bath since leaving Impel Down. It turns out that my body and water don't mix. I either freeze up and can't move or I grow super weak.

"Well, I'm sorry for doubting you Keystone. I guess you are the same person I met back at Impel Down. Thanks for the second chance and everything."

He nods. "Of course. It was all according to plan using that hidden boat to help you escape."

In an instant I'm in front of 'Keystone' with a lawn dart against their head. "You're not Keystone. Keystone would know we escaped by running on a bridge. Tell me who you are and where Keystone is or I'll shove this lawn dart through your throat. Then you'll bleed out, and in case you didn't know this people die from blood loss."

'Keystone' is panicking, I know because they're sweat dripping from their reflective mask going down their neck. "Is that really a fucking lawn dart! Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit please don't kill me! I'm soft and squishy and I have so much to live for and I'm not good at fighting and I'm still a virgin and I'm 100% not resistant to lawn darts!"

"I probably won't kill you if you tell me what happened to Keystone." I tell her, and I'm saying 'her' because this false Keystone is definitely a woman. I'm a little bit embarrassed for thinking they were the old Keystone. She must be dastardly cunning and a master of disguise in order to fool me for as long as she did.

"What kind of incentive is 'Probably'!" She shouts.

I shrug. "The kind of incentive that will 'Probably' work. If it doesn't, then you'll be 'Probably' dead. So you should 'Probably' tell me who you are."

"I'm Keystone!"

I blink under my mask. "If you're Keystone, then who helped me get away from Impel Down?"

"Keystone did!"

"So it was you?" I ask uncertainly. This conversation is starting to veer off in a weird direction I can't get a proper handle on.

"At the time, no! Not me! I'm Keystone now!"

I don't do anything while a mull this over. There's no way I could figure this out without more information.

"Ow! You just stabbed my neck!" The woman who is apparently Keystone shouts suddenly.

I look and sure enough she is bleeding a little from a small cut. "Huh... The non sharp part of the dart somehow cut you. I know you said you were soft and squishy, but I didn't believe you."

I pull the lawn dart away and take a step back. Keystone immediately collapses to her knees and begins to hyperventilate. I consider patting her on the back and telling her that everything is going to be okay for a while. Then I realize that I just threatened her and she probably wouldn't appreciate me trying to be reassuring right now.

When she stops breathing so heavily I ask her a little uncertainly, "So... Wanna talk about it?"

She takes a few more deep deep breaths before shakily standing to her feet. "I'm Agent Keystone from Cipher Pol Two. Well... I am right now."

"This is the part where I would like an explanation please."

She crosses her arms and I imagine she's giving me a pointed glare under her mask. "Oh. So now you're saying please instead of threatening me. Where the hell do you get off doing stuff like that?!"

"If you don't like it, I can go back to threatening you again." I offer her.

She waves her arms in front of her and takes a step back. "No no no! I like polite conversation, I practically love it! If I had some tea and cookies right now I'd be right at home!"

"What the hell are cookies?"

She looks at me for a few moments before shaking her head. "Nevermind. No time for cookie talk right now. I'll explain to you who Agent Keystone is. Officially speaking, Agent Keystone is a rouge Cipher Pol agent from CP2 that we have no control over whatsoever. Someone with a hundred million verify bounty. In reality however CP2 agents that need to do actions in the field that are morally grey out on a reflective mask and black suit, and they're suddenly Agent Keystone. Keystone can do all the things Cipher Pol can't be seen doing. So the government official who is helping you, an escaped conflict, will always be Keystone."

I smacked my fist into my palm in realization. "That makes sense. So if you're Keystone now, what's the name of the guy who built the bridge?"

"Oh. That's Ellott, and in case you're wondering my name is Clair."

There's a moment of silence and I watch the wind blows a paper bag across the street. Heh. Wind is funny.

Suddenly Clair Keystone is on her knees crying her heart out. "Ahhhhhhhh! I told you my real name! I'm not supposed to do that! I told the boss that I'd never had a field assignment before and I belong behind a desk cause I'm only good at sneaking around and paperwork but she just kept on smiling at me and I couldn't say no cause she's so pretty she makes me feel like a wallflower and she has these legs oh God her legs!" She says all that in one single breath.

She runs forward and tries to grab my collar but she's too short. So instead she grabs the bottom of my vest and tries to shake me back and forth futility. She really is weak. "I'm ruined!"

I manage to be gentle and pry her hands off of me. "Don't worry about it. I don't remember your name."

She sniffs and looks up at me. "Really?" She asks hopefully.

"Sure thing Clair."

She just sobs harder. I just stand there and look away, doing my best to not get ambushed. Eventually she calms down and takes a few steps back. Then she turns around so her back faces me and pries the mask she's wearing off so I can't see her face. Then she pulls a clean white rag from a pocket of her suit and assumably wipes her face off before I hear her blowing her nose.

She puts the mask back on her face and turns torwards me again. "Okay. I'm okay now."

"Are you sure?" I ask her. "If it makes you feel better I'm all up for pretending to threaten you. Then you can say you told me your name under duress."

Clair sighs. "Thanks for the offer I guess but it wouldn't work. The Boss is so smart about that kind of stuff. She can read people like a book. Literally. So I guess I should just keep going."

I nod. "That's a good attitude to have."

"Yeah... Anyways I have instructions for you. We were going to deliver the instructions in a sealed envelope but then the Boss discovered you couldn't read so she had me waiting here until you arrived."

"It's for that whole C2G plan Keystone mentioned, right Clair?"

She coughs. "Please call me Keystone. You never know who could be listening. Anyways the plan right now needs you to do something here on Diz-Harmony. Intelligence has come back to us and CP2 is now 100% positive that the nobles here and the captain of the guard especially are supplying a revolutionary terrorist cell. Them and all they people who live here are living garbage for helping the Revolutionary Army and in my opinion they all deserve to die. We need you to capture them and get discover their contact in the Revolutionary Army itself. If it is who we think it is, it blows so many conspiracies out of the water it's not even funny."

"I'm way ahead of you. Trust me on that. What happens after that?"

Clair scratches the back of her head and answers slowly, as if she's reciting something from memory, "After that we wait here for a while. We, as in the Government, increase your bounty to make people terrified of you. The Marines can't afford to have a pirate of your estimated caliber running around Paradise right now. Then my boss pushes her weight around at Marineford, not that she has any body fat at all, and then the plan really kicks off."

Okay. Seems simple enough. I look around and see no one nearby so I ask Clair, "Want to walk with me to that giant mansion where a noble lives?"

Clair nods. "Unofficially the plan involves 'Keystone' joining your crew. So I guess I'll come with you."

I take a few steps torwards the distant Lord's mansion and then turn around and ask Clair, "Hey. You're not going to stab me in the back with that knife you're holding are you?"

"Well, 'Probably' not."

"Are you still mad about the lawn dart thing?"

"You know what, 'Probably'." She replies nonchalantly.

I nod. "Okay. That's okay and all, but stop threatening me. I don't deal with being threatened very well. I'll 'Probably' do something violent. Got it?"

Clair nods backs and places the knife somewhere inside of her black suit jacket. Then I resume walking forward the giant mansion with the Cipher Pol agent behind me.