You call this an apology

Chapter 23

After class the four of us were on cleaning duty, we picked up the equipment cleaned the mat, and packed away the weaponry. I still hadn't spoken to Zafar after last night.

" we heading out we did our part, " Ameera said leaving with Yacob

"Do you need any help," Mutaq asked hanging the cloths

" yes please, I'm really tired today."

He helped me finish up and when he saw Zafar he left without saying goodbye, Zafar rolled his eyes.

I waited for Zafar to walk to the center of the dojo, before pushing him to the corner of the dojo with my katana (sword) in my hand, speak about perfect timing.

" Explain your rude behavior…" I say trying to terrify him.

I may have been slightly shorter than he was but he knew not to underestimate my strength.

He poked my forehead, " I wasn't being rude, if you were in my shoes I bet you would have been worse."

" don't you trust me? " I say before he suddenly began tickling me. I dropped the sword, which allowed him to switch up on me and all of a sudden I was the one being corned, " I trust you I just don't trust Mutaq, " he said dragging me to my bike.

" if it upset you that much, I apologize. But I'm not taking back what I said."

" you were right about me not approving of a girl doing the same, but it's different I grew up with him."

" That's even worse, you grew up with me too, he might know you better then I do. He has a higher chance of being a better husband than I have. Nura why can't you understand why I'm doing what I'm doing?"

" Zafar. I don't understand because even if I wanted to run from you, even if I wanted to abandon you I can't!"

" that isn't the point, you allowing this to come in between us…"

" I'm allowing it?" I say, " you know what. It's not like I wanted to be married to you in the first place. You don't have to be here if you're going to behave like this,"

" that's cold..." he said gently letting go of me

" see it how you want to, but until you accept that this isn't how matters are meant to be dealt with. Then don't come and see me."

Yes I cried after having that conversation with him, why couldn't he understand that I was doing my best, I did nothing to break his trust yet he wants me to walk around eggshells, it's difficult being married to someone who I haven't fallen for yet.

" you've been in your room since you got home from the dojo ( classroom) at least come out for dinner Zafar brought over your favorite."

"Tell him to go back to his stupid lab in Cuba!"

"Nura, talk to me. You can't hide in your room forever you have a competition in 3days."

" I'm coming…"

She was right, I had no time to sulk over my misunderstandings with Zafar.

" just eat it, when he bought over the food he looked really upset plus he had a burnt mark on his hand."

" what…he got hurt!"

" yes, the least you could…"

Before she could finish I saw myself rushing out the door over to where he was staying.

" it's me, open up!" I knocked on his door, seriously.

" I thought you didn't want to see me?"

I quickly grabbed his hand rubbing his wound with ointment.

" you barge into my house in your pajamas with your swollen eyes, just for my burnt arm."

" looks like my presence isn't wanted, "I say attempting to leave.

He dragged me into his room onto the couch, " Nura, why are you doing this to me?"

" Doing what?" I say looking away.

" whys it so hard for you to love me?" he asked standing up, " what's wrong with me?"

" nothings wrong with you. I just need to love myself before I love anyone."

" I'll wait, " he said holding my hand, " even if you only love me when I'm 60 years old I'll wait for you."

" Zafar I…"

" yes?"

" Can I stay over?"

"what?"

" can't I? "

" that's strange, you can," he said handing me food.

"I'll sleep on the couch or do you want me to book a bigger room?"

" oh, no you can sleep in your room. I'll sleep here."

I don't know what possessed me, I knew all this fighting was limiting our time together, I could see that I hurt Zafar.

The next day I woke up to the aroma of a delicious breakfast, for a guy…he was trying too hard.

This type of genuine isn't found just anywhere.

" I wanted to cook for you, " I say before rushing to the kitchen.

" freshen up, you have an entire day of training ahead. I'll come over to watch."

" what, no….explore japan, it is your holiday after all. I'll come over with dinner after class."

" the queen has spoken, hurry up I'll drop you off."

"yes sir. But my gee's ( karate clothing) at the dorm. We have to stop there first."

After our final training night, we're were given a pep talk. I had sprained my ankle again. Mutaq helped me into the taxi.

" the nurse said it's temporary so you'll be able to compete if you rest properly for the next two days, " he said paying the chauffeur, " I'll come over tonight with some ointment."

" no need, last time it upset Zafar. When he's around please just keep your distance, and when we go out bring your girlfriend."

" oh…I understand…I apologize didn't realize that he misunderstood me," he said letting go of my ankle, I noticed how quickly the expression on his face changed.

" it's okay, prepare yourself for the competition, I'll see you there...and I'll buy you that desert he took."

" no need, rest up. asalamualikum ( peace be upon you)."

It was a little swollen. If I had rested the first time it happened I wouldn't be in this situation. I rushed home, cooked dinner then took another taxi over to Zafar's place.

I attempted to walk normally to lessen his concern. I ended up looking like a fool in front of him. I fell on top of him almost messing the food everywhere.

I stood up slowly as he helped me inside, " how did this happen?" he asked sitting me down gently.

I smiled roughly trying to lighten up the mood, " it's nothing I just fell. Let's not talk about it okay I bought pap (maize meal) and some meat we can braai (barbecue)"

" it looks like it will be okay soon, but after the competition, you should wear a cast just to make sure."

" yes sir, " I say saluting him, " can we eat now, it was difficult getting south African food transported here."

" let's start then."

I hated the attention everyone was giving me as if I wasn't an adult who knew how to take care of herself.

The competition day came, with the slight pain in my ankle I pushed through the day. I was walking normally but tried my best not to show that I was hurting, I couldn't imagine missing this opportunity.

I signed up for fighting, unison, full contact as well as weaponry. I managed to bag a gold for fighting and a silver for the rest, the weaponry was tomorrow so I had enough time to rest after the long day I had with the rest of my classmates.