023 · Get Over It

Mass release: 8/15

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Genuine fear crept inside me as bonded dragons take feelings of their bond and he hates me, it'll hate me too.

"She has been annoying the hell out of me the whole week, so, you'll deal with her."

"What?" I screamed then gasped. "What?" I lowered my voice.

"You will deal with her, daredevil," he repeated, firmly, like an order.

"How am I supposed to deal with your fucking dragon, when you are so bloody incompetent that you can't even do that?" I hissed, smacking his back. "Are you insane? I have no magic, I'm blocked, I have no training to deal with bloody dragons, definitely not the dragon bonded to one of my damn targets. It's going to eat me alive, and,"

"She doesn't eat garbage!" He said it seriously and I gasped.

How dare he say the same thing that dragon barked at me? "How dare you call me that? Garbage? Me? You are the garbage, you fucking bastard. I'm a bloody Madalverel, you've got nothing on me, and you're calling me garbage? Have you ever even looked in the fucking mirror?" I kept punching his back hard.

To my dismay, he smacked my ass back, hard.

"How dare you assault me, you fucking bastard?" I cried exasperated with how much my body liked that, which is absolutely absurd.

Hell no, he's a Velothren.

No, no, no, no, no, not him!

"Assualt? You've been assaulting me with your fists for quite a while, no? Don't you think you have quite the bad attitude for a first year cadet? I'm superior to you here, you answer to me, you group answer to you, but you answer go me. If you keep acting up, it won't be pretty or nice to you, Grace Madalverel."

Shivers ran down my spine, "Yes, and?" I snapped.

"If you keep this up, I'll have to fuck this attitude out of you, Princess," he smacked my ass again, and this time, the gasp that left my lips was more filthy than it should have been, and I loathed how he's making me feel. "If you don't wish that to happen, you better swallow your pride and start respecting me, otherwise, I will be making you swallow something else after I fuck that pride out of you."

I swallowed hard, loud enough for him to hear, "I'll kill you, Marvor."

"So you've been claiming," he chuckled, an entrancing sound that made me want to actually swallow my pride just to ask him to do it again, but I didn't. "My dragon is not going to eat you."

"I don't believe a word that you say," I hissed, but stopped hitting him, not wanting to give him space to hit my ass again, or I might do something stupid, and the last time I did something stupid, it killed my family. "And I will kill you, Marvor Velothren, it's a promise."

"The best promises are the ones we can't keep," he countered.

"I don't make idle threats," I hissed.

"I don't doubt, but you're still not going to kill me," he said back.

I hate how calm and composed he is when speaking, while I'm a mess and I can't control my anger, my impulses, or myself when I'm poked. It makes me feel absolutely stupid, and there almost nothing I hate more than feeling stupid. And I hate even more how damning powerful I can tell that he fucking is, I hate it.

"You don't know what I'm capable of, don't underestimate me!"

"You're a Madalverel, it would be stupid to do that," he scoffed.

"Don't mock my family, Marvor Velothren, you don't have the right."

"I am not mocking them, you fucking stupid Princess," he groaned. "For hell's sake, I can't even speak to you without you make me the villain."

"You are not a victim here, piece of shit, you brought this to yourself!"

"No, you're acting like a bitch because my brother hurt you and I look like him, and looking at me makes you remember him and what he did to you, and that's what you hate, you're just projecting that on me. But I won't accept your bullshit silent, Grace Madalverel, that's not who I am, I'll never be that person, I'll never be submissive, not to the Supreme Commander, not to the Emperor, even less you. Not you. I am not Nevil, I have nothing to do with what he did to you, get over it!" He snapped at me, stressed out.

Fuck that, I have more reasons to be stressed here.

"Get over it?" I gasped. "Did you just fucking tell me to get over it?" My voice rose, rage flaring inside my chest, pupping anger to my veins. "Your brother used me, he groomed me, manipulated me, all for a fucking mission. He made me believe he loved me, I was innocent then, but he reaped that from me, mercilessly. All that while faking to be someone he wasn't, lying to me with no effort or sign of guiltiness inside him, and when they tortured me, he rejoiced in my pain, in seeing me break, especially when they brother my family's freshly decapitated head to me, after using what he made me tell him, to kill them."

"You have no fucking idea what that's like, what that felt, what losing all that I lost felt like. I lost my innocent, I lost someone I thought I loved, my heart and my trust were broken, I lost my parents and my grandparents to death, I lost my baby siblings who were taken from me and hidden away stolen of memories, I lost my crown, I lost my birthright, I lost my house, I lost everything I fucking had, all because I loved the wrong fucking guy. And you know what's worse? The worse is that, I loved him so fucking much, that I was open to making him the Emperor next to me, not giving a shit that he wasn't my mate, because that's how important he was to me then."

"But he didn't give a fucking shit, he hated me for nothing, pretended to love me, and plotted my family's demise, the usurpation of my crown. To him I was but a mission, the daughter of the men they loathed for whatever the fucking reason, that I don't care, and that does not gives them the bloody right to do what they fucking did," I yelled, shaking. "And after all that, he tortured me, he… he…" I swallowed my words and the urge to caress the scar on my lower belly, "he did horrible things to me that cannot be undone, and he felt joy in my pain."

"So, no, I cannot get over it," I hissed. "My anger is not unreasonable in any way, I'm actually controlling what I feel very damn well, I could do worse. I don't care if you claim to be innocent, or if you're pitiful and whatever, I couldn't care less about that, had I been the Grace from 5 years ago, maybe I wouldn't have hated you like I am now, maybe things would be different and I would try to get your side, but your brother and your daddy killed that Grace. I was 15 years old, I was innocent, I had good intentions, I tried to see the good in things, to understand people because I want to know them, but where did that get me?"

"The fact that you look an awful lot like your brother is haunting, it's bad, it brings me bad memories, memories that I'm trying to forget with all that I have. Not memories of me with him when I thought he was a good guy, but memories of what he did to me, of what he took from me, and those memories make me want to die, but, unfortunately, I fucking can't, which makes me want to burn this entire world down. However, I also can't, not when I have four baby siblings waiting for me, and they are my everything now, all that I have left, even if they come to hate me eventually, I'll understand, since I did play a part in our disgraceful doom."

"I'm not blaming anyone for what I've done, like you dared to suggest in the first and second time we met, Marvor Velothren, I know better than that. You and your group don't need to throw at me the blame for it, that will only make me want to kill you more, not because of your relation to those who took all that I had, but because of what you are consciously telling me, I'm not a pushover and I will never be. I can do the job of being self-deprecating and blaming myself on my own, that's all I've been doing in all those years after that happened, if there's someone who blames me for their deaths, is myself."