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Diplomacy 101: How my Yandere Wife (murders) solves all my Problems!

Waking up as a Blood Elf in the World of Warcraft was a dream come true. Who didn't want to be beautiful and have eternal youth? Even if in that dream he found himself waking up as the most useless noble and child of Silvermoons most notorious politician: Varrus Vandercross. However, waking up during the Scourging of Silvermoon was more like a nightmare. Zombies ate 90% of EVERY Blood Elf in that event, and were banging on his doors as soon as he transmigrated. Apparently married earlier in the day, he found himself chained to his bed by his crazy wife because she wanted him to "stay safe." Said crazy wife then went on to dice through dozens of zombies like some kind of maniac psycho, smiling all the while. Well, it wasn't all a nightmare. At least his wife was pretty, and hey, he even had the Skyrim UI as his system! Wait....you want how many children?! Well, no one said repopulating the species would be easy! Join Varrus and his quest to not only ensure the survival of his race, but also keep his manhood as his wife is very jealous, and very stabby!

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Chapter 14

Situated on the high ground, Varrus was little more than 50ft. away from the shoreline. 

A distance somewhat far, yet infinitely close when close to 10,000 Trolls were itching to decapitate his head, and fornicate his skull. 

Yet the path to the high ground in a mass group battle such as this was not to be underestimated. Some might even call it unnatural, for the curvature of the slope, and the steep embankment was almost at a 45 degree angle. 

Furthermore, the approach was covered in rocks, sand, and explosive fire runes.

However, this didn't stop the Trolls from attempting to throw spears, shoot arrows, and launch lightning at him. 

The five original House Vandercross guards-who he provided with the best enchantments focusing on protection and vitality-stood in front of those attacks, and perfectly blocked each and every attempt on his life. 

While the Trolls efforts to leave him scarred and deformed failed spectacularly, it was the spear chuckers that were the first to discover the fragility of the runes. 

Dozens of spears fell short of the mark, but in the process, they set off a chain of explosions once they made contact with the runes. 

Fire rocked the sand, causing the Trolls to jump backward, only to realize they remained unharmed. 

Several Trolls laughed in Varrus' direction, and made lewd gestures with their fists and tongues. 

Varrus felt a shiver up his backside, and determined he would settle the score in a few minutes. 

As the Trolls began to de-mine the beach and emerge from the water, almost 2,000 had disembarked from their boats. 

"Whatever your plan, you had best act upon it, Highlord." Helios said nervously as the Trolls slowly began their advance. 

"Not yet." Varrus calmly intoned. 

A moment passed, and 5,000 Trolls had disembarked. 

"Sir, shall we prepare to charge?" Rho'dan queried as if he was asking if Varrus wanted milk from the store or not. 

"Not yet." Varrus cautioned with his hand. 

The Troll force was now so close, they were within spitting distance. A constant flurry of ranged attacks bombarded the Crossguard at this point, and even their mighty enchantments were beginning to bend and buckle under the constant deluge of the Troll assault. 

By now, 90% of the Troll fleet that was landing on the left flank had disembarked. Close to 10,000 Trolls pushed and shaved one another, eager for blood. 

When they came within 10ft of them, just barely below them on the slope, Varrus smiled. 

"That's right, you've gathered your courage in the face of death, and discovered my rune's secrets. Like a primitive man harnessing fire for the first time, you'll come to think of these runes as dangerous, yet ultimately harmless. You know that fire kills, yet you celebrate thinking you have unlocked its secrets. But you silly Trolls have yet to learn the most sinister truth of fire. Fire consumes!"

Raising his hands high, Varrus unleashed the Expert level Destruction spell, Wall of Flames. 

The spell did just as the name would imply. 

Immediately after Varrus cast the spell, he aimed it at the front row of Trolls, setting them ablaze. 

Some tried to jump over the wall of fire, yet Varrus was not limited solely to game mechanics, and with his increased Spell Power, manipulated the wall to a height of 10ft. tall. 

The putrid smell of Troll flesh ranked up there with Undead, and unlike the abominations, these green skinned Forest Trolls actually screamed from the pain. 

Varrus' ears twitched as he was uncomfortable at the sound of someone suffering. His own father from Earth was a burn victim, and the pained shrieks of Varrus' opponents almost made him pity the witless fools. 

However, these Trolls were his new peoples mortal enemy. A grudge of thousands of years was being settled right here, right now. No amount of sympathy or compassion would make them see eye to eye. 

It was kill or be killed, something Varrus had come to terms with when taking out the Undead. Varrus would be doing a lot more killing before the day was done, now was not the time to be overrun by moral quandaries. 

As Varrus directed the Wall of Fire deep into the tightly packed lines, the perks from earlier were constantly being activated, causing Troll corpses to explode and spread even more fire, death, and chaos. 

Trolls howled in pain as fire ate away at their flesh and bone. 

Varrus watched on in morbid fascination as the shamans cast Chain Healing over and over again in an attempt to stave off the flames. The sight of smoldering Trolls rapidly healing sinew and skin was sickening to behold. 

Flesh boiled and burst, only to be reknit anew, then burn once more. 

Water elemental magic was cast on the flames, but due to Varrus' various perks, the flames were ceaseless, and almost impossible to put out. 

Unfortunately for the shamans, Varrus was in possession of countless Mana Stones. For the sake of this fight, his energy reserves might as well be infinite. 

The shamans were not so lucky. Their mana was limited, and many of them collapsed from mana exhaustion, unable to keep up with Varrus' torrential firestorm. 

Perhaps realizing the futility of their actions, the Trolls began to scatter in all directions in a vain attempt at survival. 

Their front line paused in their movement as soon as the healing stopped. Fear and dread took over their faces as they began to run parallel to the flames, utterly bypassing the raging inferno. 

In the process of carrying out their hectic escape, the Amani activated even more runes that had been lying idle up to that point. They were so caught up in slaying him they hadn't bothered diffusing the runes on their flanks, sure that they could make a direct strike at him, and cut off the head of the snake so to speak. 

Now they were suffering for their failure to adapt on the battlefield. Explosions rang out as the runes were stepped upon, and ever more flames spread amongst their number.

It was so hot that Varrus could only liken it to the heat produced in an iron factory. Trolls who got too close to the flames sweat buckets, and their moss green skin shimmered in the sunlight like a beach bodybuilder post workout. 

The confusion in the Troll battlegroup was palpable as many wanted to retreat into the water, yet the ones behind them were ignorant of the danger, and wanted to press forward. 

All moral dilemmas went out the window as Varrus beheld victory in his sight. He felt the kind of relieved excitement a gambler might get upon winning big, or the adrenaline of a professional athlete winning on the world's stage. This chaos, this pandamonium, ahhh, it filled Varrus' chest with a sense of primal excitement and glee! 

He may have felt pity for the poor sods, but that didn't mean he was willing to serve his neck up on a platter, and let them skin him alive, then sacrifice him to their dark gods. If he was going to win, he would rather win overwhelmingly. 

His Skyrim Ui seemed to agree with this sentiment as his Destruction skill was leveling up at an impossibly high rate. Thousands of Trolls + a constant stream of fire, and Varrus was beginning to Legendary his Destruction skill tree every few minutes. In the process, he accumulated EXP like there was no tomorrow!

The steady sound of a skill increasing was like music to his ears. 

Wall of Flames was a decent Skyrim spell to grind Destruction within the first place. Now that he was crispifying thousands of Trolls at once, he was almost at Master tier. Once that happened, oh hoh hoh, those Master spells from the Apocalypse mod were looking mighty dangerous. 

Finally, when the Trolls seemed like they were going to escape into the water, or approach the centrally located Elven army in a vain attempt at respite, Varrus unleashed part three to his plan. 

Raise Wall had seen great use against the Undead, and it would do so once more! 

Casting the spell, Varrus raised a 15ft wall at the edge of the shore, and all around the Troll's avenue for escape. 

When some of the Trolls tried to break it, they found their weapons chipping. Some shamans attempted to blast it apart with lightning balls, yet the walls were barely chipped. 

Like all things, this was the real world, not Skyrim, and objects could break. However, when combined with Varrus' increased Spell Power due to his enchanted equipment, the wall also received an increase in sturdiness, thickness, and height limit. 

Only a handful of Trolls were capable of scaling the wall in time, while the rest fried. 

In a manner of minutes, nearly 10,000 Trolls were turned to nothing more than ash. Each and every one of them feeding Varrus' Soul Cloak, and turning into a Soul Gem to be added to his collection. 

The fire's heat and intensity had turned this section of the beach into glass-like sand. 

Surprisingly, there were a few hundred Trolls still alive. Surrounded by water totems, they had managed to stave off the brunt of the Wall of Flames spell, and barely survived. 

However, the effective radius of these totems was on average 5ft. with only one or two exceptional shamas being able to cover an area of 10-20 ft.

"ENOUGH!" A loud, animalistic roar echoed around the beach. 

The shout was followed up by a section of the wall breaking apart in a cloud of dust and debris. 

Emerging from the dust cloud was a supernaturally magical lynx. 

Varrus could only surmise that this was Halazzi, the Troll containing the lynx Loa. 

The lynx's roar carried with it some magical wind energy, which sucked away all the walls of fire toward its mouth. 

Halazzi then spat all the flames out as a superheated beam attack like something out of DBZ. 

"Dodge!" Varrus warned his cadre, then cast Blink to evade the attack. 

His subordinates were quick on their feet despite wearing heavy armor, and threw themselves to the side just in time. 

The crest of the high ground, however, wasn't so lucky. A cavernous hole tore into the hill, and exploded once it reached a certain depth. 

Still unstable after Hexlord Malacrass had initiated his overpowered lightning barrage, the hill began to rumble due to Halazzi's beam attack. 

A mini earthquake set the sand on the hill sliding chaotically downward, and Varrus came with it. 

Falling to his ass, and roughly sliding down the steep, 50ft. hill, Varrus was unprepared when Halazzi left stealth next to his side, and swiped at his back. 

Upon his Ebony Flesh automatically covering his skin to deflect the attack, the perk, Distorted Shape also kicked into effect. Due to the perk, he became ethereal for 10 seconds whenever a armor spell was activated at the start of combat. It would only dissipate either after 10 seconds, or once Varrus initiated an attack.

As a result, Halazzi's paw, and entire body went right through Varrus.

As a speed oriented opponent, Varrus wanted to lock down its movements, and so he held out his hand to try and grasp it with Telekinesis. However, it seemed to have a sixth sense, and it dodged out of the way of his spell. 

The big cat was about the size of a lion, had glowing green claws, and bright yellow eyes, yet Varrus didn't pay much attention to this as Halazzi repeatedly ran at Varrus, only to run away once he blasted the ground in front of where it was about to pounce.

Varrus chose Bombardment as his spell of choice, opting to forgo any of the Master tier Destruction spells, because they would take too long to cast. This fast bastard needed to be taken out with speed, and Bombardment was the answer to that. 

With one hand, Varrus shot out the machine gun-like attack, rocking the beach, and tossing out AOE exploding fireballs. With the other hand, Varrus began throwing down Fire Runes everywhere he could so that he would limit this speedsters mobility. 

Halazzi responded by creating a dozen mirror images of himself. Each one of them was clawed at the air, and created four green crescents of energy to throw at him. 

Varrus cursed himself as there were few places to Blink to due to him covering the floor in magical landmines. Deciding to just block the attack, he threw up a ward to absorb whatever was coming his way. 

Once the green crescents clashed with his ward, bright green light exploded in front of his face, temporarily blinding him. 

Squinting his eyes, Varrus unleashed his bombard at each of the big cats that he could see. One after another, he dissipated them until the last one got within a stones throw, and lunged straight for his throat. Varrus was confident, and blasted the big cat.

Expecting howls of pain, Varrus was surprised to find out that this was an illusion too!

Varrus knew he had fucked up, and was about to Blink as far away as he could from his current position, and completely circumvent this entire section of beach. However, before he could cast the spell, he felt a heavy weight press into his back, pressing him into the glass-like sand, and a pair of massive jaws clamp down onto his neck! 

'Oh no!' Varrus could only panic to himself as he was caught in a mages worst nightmare. 

Everyone knew the best way to kill a magic user was via stealth, ambush, or at close range! 

The beast's speed was so fast during the fight, that Varrus could barely keep up with its movements. He felt like he could've stopped this from happening with any of his many disrupt spells, or by Blinking away in time, but the switch with the mirror images had thrown him off guard. He should've used Detect Life! He had grown cocky when he easily took out the mirror images, and destroyed the thousands of Amani earlier. One second, one second of unpredictability was all it took to get caught. 

In fact, at this very moment, his Ebony Flesh was on the verge of cracking, and then he would be relying solely on the protection enchantment of his armor, and the vitality he gained upon each level up. So long as he laid on the ground with this beast's jaws around his neck, constantly crushing and grinding away at said armor, his position was untenable! 

What he needed to do was reposition himself so he could start dishing out some damage! 

Casting Blink once more without thinking, Varrus was shocked to discover that the bloody lynx still had his neck locked up! 

Panic began to grip Varrus' heart, and his eyes dilated as adrenaline coursed into his system. 

He felt the hot breath of the lynx bellowing across his chin and face. It forced him to the ground with its superior strength, pinning him in place. Every second that ticked by, its razor sharp fangs pierced a millimeter of his shields, all the while, the lynx would be scratching at his sides with its claws, further damaging his layer of protection. 

This entire time, he had been confident he could effortlessly deal with the Trolls, even making fun of them for their arrogance. But all along, it was he who had been arrogant! 

At this close of a range, Varrus was worried any spell he cast would backfire on him. With the change that came with living in the real world, he could very well damage or kill himself with his own spells! 

Like a man lobbing a grenade, only for it to land 5ft in front of him, Varrus was worried he would do the magical equivalent of winning the Darwin Award. 

Lying on his back, Varrus couldn't unsheathe his sword-not that it was all that powerful to begin with-and could just barely reach his hand up and place it on the lynx's chest. 

Halazzi growled sensing the imminent threat, releasing its putrid hot breath into Varrus' nostrils, yet he paid it no heed. This next spell would determine if he could survive or not. 

He could only place his hopes on Scorching Hands. 

The Expert level spell was designed for such a close encounter after all. It was his only option! 

Much like Wall of Flames, the name Scorching Hands explained itself. His hand was coated in fire completely safe from the heat, but the same could not be said for Halazzi.

Shoving upward with all his power, Varrus pushed his super heated hand up and in towards the lynx's ribcage. 

Fortunately, the spell was designed for melee use, and he suffered no repercussions. 

However, his opponent wasn't so fortunate. 

Stealthy, speedy, magical and physically strong, this big cat was impressive, but what it lacked was sturdiness. 

Varrus' hand was like magma as he began to push his way towards the lynx's heart inch by inch. 

While this was going on, his perks were activating, and the lynx started to melt from the inside. 

Varrus was confident Halazzi would release his grip to use his speed advantage, yet was shocked as the lynx Loa doubled down! 

Varrus began to sweat as the shields around him began to slowly crack. 

The lynx was losing some of its stamina during this struggle, but it was little comfort knowing he might be dead soon! 

Varrus forced himself to push deeper into Halazzi's rib cage, and stirred his flaming fingers as much as possible to do as much damage as he could, overextending his arm however much it would help. 

His actions ultimately proved fruitless as he heard his Ebony Flesh shatter, and the Protection enchantment on his robes was his last line of defense! Even that was beginning to suffer under Halazzi's assault. Varrus was in a race to see what would give first, the lynx's heart, or his shields. 

It was when hope was beginning to dwindle, that Varrus heard a shout that sent him grinning from ear to ear. 

"Vandercross!" Rho'dan's unmistakable voice bellowed from above Halazzi. 

The veteran House Vandercross guard cut into the top of the lynx's neck with his flame enchanted sword, leaving a deep furrow across his neck. 

Halazzi didn't seem to like that, yet was unwilling to release his hold on Varrus. 

Rising to his feet, the badly burnt big cat held Varrus in his mouth like a mouse or fish with a gift for his family, then turned to face the guard. 

Swiping his pale-green claws at Rho'dan, three sharp crescents of wind launched at him, forcing him to block. 

Varrus felt that the cat wanted to escape with him in tow, but Varrus wouldn't allow him to get far, because he kept spamming Scorching Hands like there was no tomorrow.

"Hold on, Highlord!" Rho'Dan grunted as he parried an attack, then through some impressive footwork stabbed his sword deep into Halazzi's paw, as well as deep into the ground, pinning the great cat. 

Having his limb impaled, Halazii hesitated, then began to buck, seemingly willing to sacrifice the paw or take whatever amount of damage if it meant escape. 

However, Rho'dan didn't seem to care about the sword or the escape attempt as he wielded his shield with both hands. 

Blocking a swipe to the face, Rho'dan then pivoted like a football player dodging an oncoming rush, then in the same motion double hand slammed the bottom of the shield into the gap on the top of Halazzi's neck that the sword had created earlier. 

For the first time in the fight, Halazzi released his grip on Varrus, and howled in pain. 

Accompanying that howl, countless streaks of magically cutting wind swept across the two Elves, reaching far beyond and dicing dozens of nearby Trolls caught in the crossfire. 

The buffering wind was so strong, it popped Varrus' last smidgen of his barrier. 

Now relying solely on his vitality and health pool, Varrus was a nanosecond away from Blinking away so that he could toss up another Ebony Flesh, yet he found he did not need to. 

Rho'dan went beast mode, and brought his shield down on that neck once, twice, three times, four times, countless times did Rho'dan bash that cat into the ground well after the head had separated from the body. 

Halazzi's death was confirmed when a Grand Soul Gem formed in Varrus' inventory. Varrus sighed in relief. That was the closest he had come to death since he first arrived in this world. He thought anything short of a top tier wouldn't be a threat to him given his most recent enchantments. However, he learned that no matter what, he could never allow an enemy to manhandle him again. 

While Varrus was dazed, and lost in thought, Rho'dan approached him. 

Rho'dan, painted in the blood of Halazzi, and panting from exertion reached hand down, and helped Varrus up from the ground. 

"I failed my Lord once, I shall never do so again." Rho'dan nodded respectfully at Varrus, withdrew his sword from the corpse, then turned back toward the battlefield. 

Varrus could only softly exhale at his guards' bravery. 

"Thank you for placing your trust in me, my friend. I hope to live up to your expectations." Varrus said, choked with emotions. 

He hadn't known Rho'dan long, but this man saved his life. That was a debt that could never be repaid. 

While Rho'dan planned on giving Varrus undying loyalty, Varrus was thinking similarly. If someone was willing to go to those kinds of lengths for him, then it was his duty as the leader to take on hardship for Rho'dan, and all those willing to fight for him. 

Standing steadily for the first time in five minutes, Varrus wiped some lynx saliva off his face, and took in the battlefield. 

"The first part is over Rho'dan, it's time to take care of business." 

"I shall be by your side Highlord. Always." 

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AN: Finish this arc with a bang, and read up to chapter 43 on: patreon.com/KarpQQ

Release schedule is M-F.