Diary of a Wandering Spirit (Short Story)

-10/03/2016- It's been 3 days now... I found it hard to say goodbye to her, but that's normal, right? Who would find it easy to say goodbye to their own mother? I hate cancer, I hate cancer, I hate cancer; it took my mother away from me. Why did this have to happen? Wasn't it possible to act a bit passive-aggressively towards each other like always, make a joke here and there, and be sarcastic with one another? I don't know what to do now. How am I supposed to move on with such a hole in my life?

-14/03/2016- The funeral was today. I was crying the whole time, and of course, I wasn't the only one. My annoying little brother was crying even harder than I was. For me, it was losing my mother, but for him, it was his little mommy. The only one who isn't completely crying among the three of us is Dad; he's trying to stay strong in some way, but what's the point of that? Those emotions he's holding in will eventually come out anyway. There were many people who came to the funeral; I saw Grandma again. She looked so small before, and now she seems even smaller with all the sadness. I thought I saw my mother's sister somewhere, but everyone says she wasn't there, so I probably imagined it. That might be due to all these tears in my eyes.

-18/03/2016- I went back to school today. I thought it would be good to get back into a routine, but I was wrong. All those people kept asking me how I was doing, looking at me with pity. I JUST WANTED SOMETHING NORMAL BACK IN MY LIFE, BUT NO, THAT DOESN'T WORK EITHER.

-21/03/2016- Today was better at school. At least one person still treats me normally, and that's my best friend, Lina. Although she was worried too, she at least has a reason for it; all these other people I barely know don't. I still feel empty. It's always quiet at home. The only moments I sometimes enjoy are when I'm with my best friend, and when I do enjoy myself, I already feel guilty because am I allowed to enjoy myself now? Is that acceptable?

-28/03/2016- The vacation has started; this will not be a fun vacation. Sitting at home and being sad all the time—that's all I'll be doing this vacation. My dad and I haven't talked in days, and I don't think that will change during this vacation; he often drinks. My brother is going to stay with Grandma during the break, so the house will go from the original four a few weeks ago to just two. At least he's coming back. On one hand, I want to go to Grandma's, but on the other hand, I don't have the energy for it.

-30/03/2016- Dad came home drunk again today. He was out drinking yesterday too. His vacation isn't much longer, so when work starts again, he won't be able to drink as much.

-31/03/2016- Today he didn't go out drinking; he just did it at home. I wish he had gone out because I didn't want to experience this. Just now, he was shouting at me as if he was mad at me.

-1/04/2016- He hit me. He hit me. He hit me. He hit me. Why? Why? Why? What have I done to deserve this? I'm very sad about Mom too, so why is he taking it out on me? Is he going to do this more often? Was this a one-time thing? Is he going to say sorry? I'm scared. What if he does this from time to time? I don't want to suffer all the time, and what if people see that I have a bruise somewhere?

-11/04/2016- School starts again. At least I can get out of this house; I'm starting to hate this house. I'm never happy at home. Since Mom is gone, it's like the house is falling apart. I miss her so much, hearing her footsteps on the stairs coming up, and now that's completely gone. I miss her cooking so much; even if it wasn't always good, I miss the food. I miss the smell of her perfume. I. Miss. Her.

-14/04/2016- Dad hit me so hard today that I had to throw up. What should I do? What should I do? No, what can I even do? Is this going to stop? Should I try to solve this myself?

-16/04/2016- Today I vented to Lina. Afterwards, she vented to me. Apparently, she's having a tough time at home too; I didn't know this. She understands how I feel. She's the only one who gets me lately. I find it sad that she has difficulties at home too. If only we could get away from all of this.

-25/04/2016- Lina isn't at school today. She's not answering my messages; I don't know what to do. The only thing I have left in my life is temporarily gone. I'm worried. What if something happened? Since she's not having it easy at home, something could have definitely happened.

-26/04/2016- Lina is still not here, but she sent a message asking to sit down somewhere. She's been beaten up by her stepfather. Black eye, bruises, even her lip is torn up, and her nose looks crooked. She says she wants to leave, but where to? I told her that if she leaves, I'll go with her.

-29/04/2016- Lina says she's had enough at home. I'm also fed up with being hit all the time and being sad all the time, so I completely understand her.

-30/04/2016- Lina asked if I want to run away with her tomorrow. I said yes. Do I need to say goodbye to my brother? I don't want to say goodbye to my father; he doesn't deserve that anymore. Maybe I should also say goodbye to the house because all the memories of Mom are here. Maybe a new beginning would be good.

-1/05/2016- We are gone, free from all of this. Free to go wherever we want. To be who we want to be. To do what we want to do. The End