<8> The Decision (2)

Chapter 8: The Decision (2)

Eijun lay in bed, staring at the starry sky outside his window.

He sighed, closing his eyes as the overwhelming fatigue and weakness in his body became more noticeable.

In all his years of playing baseball, he had never felt this drained, not even after the toughest games.

Though his team had never made it past the first round of a tournament, they had played countless informal matches. But this… only 11 pitches, and he felt completely spent.

Clenching his hand tightly against his forehead, Eijun thought, Is this what it means to be part of a baseball powerhouse?

He had known Seidou was a prestigious school, but today's visit made him realize the enormous gap in skill, resources, and mentality.

It wasn't just about the equipment or facilities; it was the players themselves who left the biggest impression on him.

...

Flashback

"You okay? You passed out earlier, and everyone was pretty scared."

Eijun looked up at the senior who had entered the room.

His clothes were still dusty, and beads of sweat remained uncleaned on his face. It was clear he had rushed over in the middle of training.

Eijun stared at him, trying to recall where he had seen this person before. The round cheeks and slightly timid expression finally clicked.

"Ah, you're that squirrel senior who got crushed by that big, fat senior on the mound earlier!"

"I'm Kawakami Norifumi. And for the record, it's Azuma-senpai, not 'fat senior,'" Kawakami replied with a helpless smile.

"You seem to be recovering well. Glad to see you're okay."

"Yeah, my only redeeming quality is how tough I am!"

Kawakami looked at Eijun's cheerful demeanor and felt relieved, though he still carried a sense of guilt.

After all, it was because of him that Eijun had ended up in conflict with Azuma-senpai. But there was another reason Kawakami had come.

"Sawamura-kun, thank you for standing up for me earlier. But I don't want you to leave here with a bad impression of Azuma-senpai or Seidou. Azuma-senpai may seem scary, short-tempered, and rough with his words, but he's not a bad person."

Eijun blinked in confusion. How is that kind of person not bad? His puzzled expression made Kawakami chuckle, and he continued explaining.

"He might come across as harsh, but Azuma-senpai is always thinking about what's best for us. I'm just an ordinary second-string pitcher, and while my pitching form is a little unique, I don't have any standout qualities."

"I thought I had no potential. But Azuma-senpai told me that if I give up on myself, then I'll never improve."

"Thanks to him, I've been working harder than ever. Even with the upcoming tournament, he still takes the time to train juniors like me. He's helped so many of us, not just me. So, trust me—Azuma-senpai isn't a bad person."

Kawakami spoke earnestly, even sharing things he rarely told others.

He looked at Eijun, a boy with kind eyes, so different from the fierce pitcher he had seen on the mound.

Despite not knowing Kawakami well, Eijun patiently listened. Kawakami sincerely hoped Eijun wouldn't leave Seidou with negative memories.

"Our school is full of kind people, from the seniors to the coaches. If you come here, I think you'll love it."

Looking at Kawakami's shy but warm smile, Eijun felt a strange impulse.

Perhaps Kawakami was right.

Maybe his initial impressions were wrong. But…

Eijun's mind wandered back to his friends in Nagano.

---They're kind too. I can't just leave them behind.

"Ah, Kawakami-kun, there you are," Takashima Rei called out as she walked in, holding some documents. "The others are still waiting for you to continue training. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I just came to check on Sawamura-kun. I'll head back now. Sawamura-kun, see you around!" Kawakami hurriedly returned to the training grounds.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," Takashima said, handing Eijun a packet. "Here's some information about Seidou. Let's get you home before the trains stop running."

...

Back to the Present

Lying in bed, Eijun thought back on the day's events. Slowly, he drifted into sleep.

Standing nearby, the older Eijun—Sawamura Eijun from the future—had witnessed everything.

Something felt off.

In his memories, he had never fainted after a game, especially not after 11 pitches.

Today's performance, while strong, wasn't something his younger self should have been capable of yet.

Eijun stared at his hands, a dawning realization creeping over him.

---It's me. This is all because of me.

The older Eijun recalled falling asleep beside his younger self's bed the night before.

He had dreamed of Seidou and the memories of his senior years. Could those memories have influenced his younger self?

---If that's true… what happens if I dream about the bad things? Will it discourage him from choosing Seidou?

The question lingered heavily in his mind.

---What am I even doing here? Why did I come back?

...

In the days following his visit to Seidou, Eijun seemed distracted.

Though he continued eating, studying, and going through his usual routine, he often spaced out, lost in thought.

His family noticed his unusual behavior but didn't know how to approach him about it.

They could see he was struggling, but they also understood that this was a decision Eijun needed to make for himself.

Back at school, Eijun finally reunited with his friends after his trip to Seidou.

Seeing their genuine excitement about Seidou scouting him, Eijun's nose tingled, and his chest filled with mixed emotions.

He wanted to speak, to share what was truly on his mind, but every time the words reached his lips, they were swallowed back down.

Instead, he smiled at them—an empty, forced smile.

After a few instances, his friends seemed to sense something was off and shifted the conversation, giving Eijun some relief from their scrutiny.

Later that day, during dinner, he confronted his grandfather, demanding to know why he had spread the news about Seidou's offer.

The response was a playful slap on the back of the head, followed by his father teasingly questioning if he was scared of leaving home alone.

His family tried to reassure him, encouraging him to take the opportunity, but Eijun knew that wasn't the reason for his hesitation.

Feeling drained, Eijun retreated to his room and buried himself under his blanket, seeking solace in its warmth.

Watching his younger self in this state, the older Eijun, who had been silently observing all this time, knew his actions had worked.

The seeds of doubt he had planted were taking root, but instead of satisfaction, he felt only emptiness.

Sighing heavily, he stepped out of the room for the first time, wandering the familiar streets.

The older Eijun was lost in his thoughts, wondering if his meddling was truly for the best.

Seeing his younger self so conflicted brought his own doubts bubbling to the surface.

Back then, he had left his friends, his home, and his roots behind for Seidou, hoping to fulfill everyone's expectations.

Yet, in the end, he had failed them all.

Competing with Furuya for two years for the ace position, his moment of glory had come only briefly, when Furuya was injured.

Even then, Eijun questioned if his time as the ace was truly earned or simply circumstantial.

He had once believed Seidou was his path to greatness, but now, with the weight of hindsight, he wasn't so sure.

Could he really abandon his friends in Nagano to chase that uncertain future?

Nagano's baseball scene wasn't as competitive, but with his help, maybe they could reach Koshien together.

Yet, doubt gnawed at him—what if he couldn't achieve that, either?

...

Eijun didn't realize his aimless wandering had brought him to their old secret hideout. Hearing familiar voices inside, he hesitated, then quietly peered in.

"Do you think this is really okay?" one voice asked. "Ei-chan seems like he wants to say something."

"Like staying here with us? Skipping Seidou?"

Eijun's heart clenched as he listened to their conversation. He hadn't expected this. They had figured it out—his indecision, his hesitation.

"I still want to play baseball with Ei-chan. I don't want him to leave."

"What are you guys even thinking? This is Seidou we're talking about—a top-tier school! Even if he stayed, do you really think he could pass the entrance exams for our school? Ei-chan is different from us. He has talent."

"But… it's so lonely to think about."

Their voices were tinged with frustration and sadness, and Eijun felt his throat tighten.

They knew. They had always known. And yet, they had said nothing.

"It doesn't matter," Wakana's voice broke through. Her tone was calm but distant. "If Eijun really didn't want to go, he'd have said so already. The fact that he's still struggling means he doesn't want to let go of us. You all know that, don't you?"

Silence fell over the group.

The truth was out, and no one could deny it.

Though they felt bitter, they also understood. Eijun had been captivated by Seidou, and they couldn't compete with that allure.

Breaking the quiet, Shin spoke up, his voice heavy with resolve. "It's not up to us to decide anything. The choice is Ei-chan's alone. I'll celebrate for him if he chooses Seidou."

"If he stays, I'll help him get into our school. Whatever happens, I'll support him. Because more than anything, I want to see Ei-chan shine—to see him be the Ei-chan I've always admired." His fist clenched tightly, his voice trembling. "Even if it means letting him go."

"That's all we can do—wait for him to decide. No matter what, I'll support him. Because Ei-chan will always be Ei-chan, no matter where he goes."

"…Yeah," the others murmured in agreement.

Eijun watched as they left the hideout together, their bond unshaken despite the uncertainty.

He stood in the shadows, whispering to himself, "Eijun's future… only Eijun can decide, huh?" Looking up at the starry sky, he smiled faintly.

"It really is beautiful."

...

Back home, the older Eijun stared at the forgotten DVD tucked in the corner of the room. Then, his gaze shifted to his younger self asleep on the bed.

"This time, make the choice you won't regret," he said softly, his voice carrying a hint of hope.

In his sleep, young Eijun drifted into a vivid dream, filled with a whirlwind of emotions—joy, sadness, excitement, despair, guilt—but not a single trace of regret.

Watching his younger self, the older Eijun couldn't help but laugh.

"Man, my expressions were always so dramatic. I really am hopeless," he muttered.

As his body began to fade, his presence becoming more translucent, a sense of peace washed over him.

"Goodbye, Eijun," he said with a smile before disappearing.

...

The next morning, Eijun woke up with renewed determination. He couldn't explain why, but he felt lighter, as though a heavy burden had been lifted.

This time, he would make the choice that truly belonged to him.

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